(no subject)
I am too overwhelmed to write it all out.
Part of me thinks I should because I should document all of this.
At the end of the day, I have my sweet boy safe at home, in his bed, in my warm house.
Will is trying to inject my life with his darkness, with his fear.
We will not be signing the separation agreement; we will be proceeding to court to fight it out.
This is going to cost me about $5000 or more. I am no idea how I will do this.
But my baby has to be safe.
Will's hatred is terrifying.
I am sickened to tears and unadulterated sadness that this is the father of my sweet, amazing little man.
I want to protect him from becoming like his father.
Will knows my address and I am currently under the threat of him coming here to be violent.
I look over my shoulder. I look out the window. I jump at loud noises.
It's just as possible that he will do something as possible that he won't.
He is blind with hatred and this is the only thing that makes him feel alive.
I'm probably headed back to church soon.
I can feel the full connection between Steve and I coming back.
(This is not as a result of the difficulties with Will - relatively unrelated.)
So here's to a court battle to end my 2010.
But my life be like awesome and I have to just keep the faith.
Through the fear, through the fear.
Part of me thinks I should because I should document all of this.
At the end of the day, I have my sweet boy safe at home, in his bed, in my warm house.
Will is trying to inject my life with his darkness, with his fear.
We will not be signing the separation agreement; we will be proceeding to court to fight it out.
This is going to cost me about $5000 or more. I am no idea how I will do this.
But my baby has to be safe.
Will's hatred is terrifying.
I am sickened to tears and unadulterated sadness that this is the father of my sweet, amazing little man.
I want to protect him from becoming like his father.
Will knows my address and I am currently under the threat of him coming here to be violent.
I look over my shoulder. I look out the window. I jump at loud noises.
It's just as possible that he will do something as possible that he won't.
He is blind with hatred and this is the only thing that makes him feel alive.
I'm probably headed back to church soon.
I can feel the full connection between Steve and I coming back.
(This is not as a result of the difficulties with Will - relatively unrelated.)
So here's to a court battle to end my 2010.
But my life be like awesome and I have to just keep the faith.
Through the fear, through the fear.