...you had such grace in the end...

[thatfaraway]

i’ve been writing it down so i don’t forget, i’m turning losses into lessons so there’s no room for regret. i’ll write it down so you don’t forget to turn your losses into lessons and fuck your regret. amid the bloodshot glances of catastrophe i’ve found, i grabbed sorrow by the hair and held that fucker under till it drowned. we are the subtle stabbing discontent that keeps you up tonight. we are dial tone hesitation. we are the wayward hearts. death wishes and fresh stitches won’t get you home tonight. this is a call to arms for all the wayward hearts.

i'm so insanely confused.. i honestly can't even begin to describe how the emotions in me ebb and swirl.. i'm supposed to be happy.. i'm supposed to be more than this.. this constant flux between a smile and grievance. why is the line i walk so thin?.. why can't i find the emotional availability i think i need?..

.i.can't.stand.myself.