May 12, 2007 15:25
I've lost my journal. Sadness.
Or not, becuase only bad stuff was in there. Like the last few posts of this one. Therapist says I should journal. Her answer to a secret key. I honestly don't feel like psycho-analysing myself anymore.
Terrible, terrible conversations with Dario over the last few days. Not terrible, but so unsatisfying. Why are we doing this? I lose the sense of togetherness when we're away from each other. But we eventually see each other, and then we're back on again, and it feels good.
*But he did call back. He did. And he stayed on the line, even if he was being a jerk a little bit.
Nearing the end of the semester. I've begun to feel numb. I don't know necessarily why. I live for the paper. It's off now and I need to be organizing freelance gigs but haven't yet. Spent today in Panama Bay reading David Lamb. There's a wealth of stuff in the Express office. When is my key going to get taken away.
Marti says, "You need to learn to make lists."
Ok. Here are the things I need to do this week:
1. Call the Record, organize internship/helpership.
2. Make up my mind about the internship with Tri Valley Mag.
3. Write Parliamentary Debate analysis- TUES
4. Write Letter of intent for: EIC, News Editor- MON
5. Call Arel, ask about Rotary scholarships to get me to Baltimore - SAT N
6. Deposit scholarship check
7. Take Kat to get a sunday
8. Query Fringe about women's art show review/artist profile (and pre-query reasearch)
a. Research - MON
b. Query - TUES
9. Nag dad about automatic transfers
10. Get mother's day flowers (or send anna). Find concert.
Looking at this list, I feel better. Maybe the reason I feel so numb is becuase I'm just the things I need to do right now. I don't really have any friends. The fun I have is solitary.
So, why would you want to stay here another semester, Helen? Are you throwing a lot of bullshit into the air? DONT STAY FOR DARIO. HE'S NOT COMING.
That should do it for this week. We'll say, deadline is Tuesday. At least get everyone CALLED.