fic: moon and tide 1/2 [beast; 2junkwang; nc-17]
moon and tide [1/2]
beast; 2junkwang; nc-17; 9500
at some point, they all blured into one. at some point, kikwang fell in love.
while i make every effort to ensure that consent is never an issue in this fic, i have no way of ensuring someone may not read this as dubious consent, in which case, i do advise that people read this with caution as it isn't my intention to upset anyone.
moon and tide
He stumbles in on them. A little drunk because Yoseob had convinced him it was a good idea, after all their comeback was everything they had hoped for and more.
And they are a blur of limbs entangled in each other, shirts thrown off in some dark corner, as lips devour lips. Kikwang stands in the doorway, heart lodged in his throat as it buzzes rather than beats.
He stands and watches as Doojoon climbs on top of Junhyung like he is something to be conquered and Junhyung’s fingers rake down Doojoon’s back and Kikwang wonders, somewhere blearily in the back of his mind where everyone else is; why it’s just him standing here watching this unfold.
He wonders how they haven’t noticed him yet, how it’s possible to lose yourself in someone else so utterly that everything else ceases to exist. But really, Kikwang knows and he thinks back to his ex-girlfriend’s endless white skin and how she tasted like heaven and how nothing existed beyond the curves of her hips and breasts.
Except that Junhyung isn’t a girl and Doojoon must know that, after all, he’s biting down on Junhyung’s nipple and Junhyung’s arching off the bed like he could come just like that.
Kikwang stumbles back out of the room, aware of his hardening cock but bewildered and confused; drunk, really. He manages to slide down the wall beside the bedroom, Junhyung’s moans drifting to his ears through the wall and Doojoon’s growls coiling around his dick like a persistent pair of lips.
Kikwang whimpers, vision cloudy but not cloudy enough and he’s not sure when he’s shoved his hand down his pants to wrap around his cock but he’s stroking himself a bit messily, trying to time his strokes to the rhythm of Junhyung’s cries for more more more.
He twists his wrist and jerks, thinking that perhaps he’s gasped too loud but Doojoon is thrusting into Junhyung so hard that their bed is beating against the wall.
“Doojoon, Doojoon,” Junhyung whines, and Kikwang thinks it’s entirely too needy, too new for his ears and Kikwang’s hand can’t move fast enough, as he swallows gasps into silence.
He can imagine Junhyung’s legs wrapped around Doojoon’s waist, hands fisted into the bed sheets, desperate, frantic, wanton. And Doojoon with his teeth trailing marks adown Junhyung’s chest, pounding into Junhyung, breaking Junhyung into two.
Sliding a finger over his slit, Kikwang lets precome lather his hand as if it were soap and his rhythm is destroyed, just a messy urge to fulfill a filthy need. He breathes shallowly, tongue pressed into the corner of his lips, sweat accumulating down his back.
“Jun, Jun,” Doojoon’s deeper voice rings over Junhyung’s and Kikwang lolls his head back, lets it rest against the wall because he can feel it, can feel everything intensify into one blinding moment before his body shudders and he chokes on a silent scream as he feels cum shoot out and coat his hand white.
Kikwang gasps, breath ragged as he milks his cock until he knows there’s nothing left. He hears nothing but the drumming of his own heartbeat, Junhyung’s final scream ringing through his mind like an echo.
“Fuck,” he mumbles to himself, letting himself sit on the floor for a few moments longer. Kikwang doesn’t think his legs could hold him up just yet anyways.
Kikwang just pulls his hand out of his pants, wiping cum against his blue jeans when he hears the rustling of sheets. He staggers upwards, rushing to try and get to the living room so he doesn’t get caught eavesdropping.
And he doesn’t get caught, because when he wakes up to Junhyung gently nudging him awake at six in the morning off the living room couch, Junhyung doesn’t look any more angry than usual.
“G’morning, hyung,” Kikwang mumbles, feeling the uncomfortableness of dry cum between his things. Sluggish memories of the night before sink into his brain slowly and Kikwang has to fight to keep himself from blushing in shame and embarrassment.
“Goodmorning,” Junhyung replies. “Now come on, let’s get up. Don’t tell me you have a headache, too because I don’t care. You shouldn’t have been stupid enough to drink during our comeback.”
His hyung stands upright then and Kikwang wants to snicker because Junhyung winces and Kikwang wonders if he’s allowed to tell Junhyung that perhaps he shouldn’t be fucking the leader during the comeback either.
Kikwang’s taken to watching Doojoon and Junhyung rather carefully and they don’t ever make it obvious that they’re a thing, that even if they’re not a thing they fuck every few nights when they think the rest of Beast is asleep.
And well, everyone else is asleep but Kikwang’s become so hyperaware of Junhyung’s presence in the bed next to his own that even the slightest shift wakes Kikwang up entirely. He knows it’s none of his business, really but he can’t help but lie there imaging what they’re up to. It makes him consider how long this has been going on, how long they’ve been using their couch to screw around on.
But what Kikwang pays attention to the most are Junhyung’s long moans of Doojoon’s name and the way he whimpers when Doojoon seems to hit the right spot. What always gets him off is the way Doojoon always tells Junhyung how tight he is, how he groans low in the back of his throat as if he can barely handle how hot Junhyung is.
Kikwang can’t help but imagine what it would be like if he was between them and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that this is impossible and possibly a bit twisted. He knows he wants more than just a one night threesome, wants something he can’t quite explain but that’s selfish and he knows that too.
So Kikwang does what he can and muffles his cries into his pillow as he strokes himself to Junhyung’s mewling cries and Doojoon’s grunts until tears burn at the corners of his eyes and his own seed soaks his sheets and coats his hand.
It strikes Kikwang as strange that Doojoon spends more time worrying over Kikwang after dance practice than Junhyung, who’s lying on the floor with his arms spread out and his eyes closed.
Dongwoon is sitting next to Junhyung and saying something to him but Kikwang can’t quite catch anything because Doojoon is, has always been, a bit handsy and seems to want all of Kikwang’s attention.
He pulls Kikwang so that instead of just sitting on the floor like he had intended, Kikwang finds himself between the leaders legs with his back pressed against Doojoon’s chest. “Are you okay?” Doojoon asks him, hands squeezing Kikwang’s shoulders.
He sighs at the touch, relaxes and Doojoon takes this as a cue to start pressing circles into Kikwang’s too tight muscles and God, really, Kikwang should get massages more often. “Of course, hyung,” Kikwang murmurs in response, eyes closed as he enjoys however long this attention will last.
“But your face is all red,” Doojoon tells him and Kikwang can’t help the smile that forms on his lips.
“So is yours.”
Doojoon laughs, flicks Kikwang against the back of his neck and calls him rude. “I was only trying to look after my dongsaeng.”
“Perhaps you should look after that dongsaeng,” Kikwang says, without really thinking and he nods his head in Junhyung’s direction. Dongwoon’s taken to lying down next to his hyung but he still hasn’t stopped talking and Kikwang wonders if Junhyung finds that irritating or relaxing.
“Mmm, I’ll look after him a bit later,” Doojoon says and Kikwang knows what kind of looking after that is. His chest clenches oddly and he wonders why it bothers him at all; it’s not like Kikwang can be part of what they have with each other. This pining really needs to stop.
He says nothing in response because he knows Doojoon will read his jealously the wrong way and the last thing Kikwang wants is to lose Doojoon’s affection.
Doojoon doesn’t seem to mind the silence and as Yoseob comes stumbling over, whining about how Hyunseung won’t stop poking him, Doojoon presses a soft kiss against the back of Kikwang’s neck. It’s exactly where he had flicked him earlier and Kikwang’s eyes shoot open at the sensation, goosebumps rising over his arms.
They die just as quickly, as Kikwang notices how Junhyung’s eyes are set on him and Kikwang can’t quite decipher what the look Junhyung is giving him means. He smiles weakly but Junhyung just scowls as he falls back to the floor. He says something to Dongwoon that puts a hurt look on the maknae’s face and Kikwang guesses that he probably found all the incessant chattering annoying.
Or maybe Kikwang’s just ruined his day.
Doojoon’s hugs and hand brushing don’t stop and Kikwang feels like he’s constantly on edge, waiting for Doojoon to casually drape an arm across his shoulders next. Waiting for Junhyung’s tight lipped, distasteful scowl to hit him like a crowbar to the face.
Sighing, Kikwang presses the palm of his hand against his eyes. He really hates cutting onions but as usual, Yoseob’s beaten him at kai bai bo and Kikwang’s the one who has to help in the kitchen. This isn’t normally a problem but normally Kikwang doesn’t know that Doojoon is fucking Junhyung when he thinks no one else is around.
Since the only one between the six of them who can actually cook is Junhyung - Kikwang’s semi-decent at it but everyone admits that Junhyung’s the best - Kikwang’s not really looking forward to being stuck in the kitchen with him. It doesn’t help one tiny bit that their kitchen is small and a bit cramped and you can’t avoid the other person at all.
He almost yelps in surprise when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a chin rest comfortably on his shoulder. “Poor Kwangie, ended up with kitchen duty, hmm.”
It’s Junhyung, without a doubt but Junhyung doesn’t wrap Kikwang up in his arms like this. In fact, of all the people in Beast, Kikwang is probably the most terrified of not being good enough for Junhyung.
“Ah, hyung,” Kikwang smiles, voice strained and a bit high pitched. His heart is beating too loudly in his head for his thoughts to make any sense and Junhyung’s breath is ghosting over his skin sending tingles running up his thighs. “I guess I did.”
“Kwangie’s so helpful,” Junhyung murmurs and somehow he presses himself closer to Kikwang, as if he wasn’t already responsible for Kikwang’s hardening cock. His hands press against Kikwang’s hips and it’s a bit intimate really, to just be a friendly gesture. It’s not like Junhyung hasn’t been clingy before - just not with him.
Kikwang laughs nervously, leans into the kitchen counter because this is a little strange and it’s really not helping his growing erection but Junhyung is anything if not insistent and just follows Kikwang’s body.
“I’m not that helpful, really,” Kikwang tells Junhyung because in all honesty he’s been trying to avoid Junhyung and he’s stuck helping in the kitchen, it’s not really a choice.
Junhyung says nothing, seems to be enjoying Kikwang’s thundering heartbeat and weakening arms. His whole body trembles, hyperaware of every inch that Junhyung is pressed against and Kikwang can feel a growing knot forming in his throat.
“Why’re you shaking, Kikwang? Are you okay?” Junhyung asks, wrapping his hands - long dainty fingers and strong, wide palms - over Kikwang’s.
“Fine, hyung,” Kikwang manages, almost choking over the words as if they’re too much.
“If you don’t feel well, it’s better if you rest. Don’t worry about dinner, I can manage,” Junhyung tells him, guiding Kikwang’s hands as they both cut what remains of the onions.
Kikwang’s eyes sting and in all honesty, Junhyung’s offer sounds too good to resist but Kikwang doesn’t just ditch work. He’s overcome worse things than a boner for his hyung. “Ah, no, it’ll be hard to do it all by yourself. I’m fine, really.”
Junhyung chuckles, as if he expected this and Kikwang feels a kiss pressed into his hair. He moves away from Kikwang, onions finished and grabs a pot. Kikwang watches him, waiting for his heart to slow down or something because he feels like he’s on stage and a single mistake will ruin everything.
When Junhyung looks back at him and smiles softly, Kikwang can’t help the giant smile that stretches across his face. Kikwang knows he doesn’t understand Junhyung very well and he certainly doesn’t understand why Junhyung is being so kind when he should probably just be angry at Kikwang but Kikwang will take what he gets.
Smiles, kisses and hugs from behind.
Kikwang stands leaning against the kitchen counter as he watches Doojoon and Junhyung sitting on the couch, nestled into each other. It strikes him as odd that the rest of the members don’t see this, this intimacy that they share. Perhaps it’s because all Kikwang can see ever see is this intimacy curling around the two like a fog.
This ease with which Junhyung tucks himself under Doojoon’s arm and this nonchalance with which Doojoon wraps it protectively around Junhyung’s shoulders and Kikwang wonders when this all happened; how he missed it.
Deep down Kikwang knows he’s not that smart, he isn’t. He zones out sometimes, is a bit absent-minded - no where near as much as Hyunseung but Hyunseung doesn’t deny it either, Hyunseung picks his battles and settles them just as smartly - but Kikwang knows he has focus. Enough focus that when he dances all that exists is the extension of his limbs from his body and that when he sings the lyrics ring through his head like echoes.
And now, now as the image of Doojoon straddling Junhyung’s hips burns into his mind, set aflame over and over by Kikwang’s own curiosity, it’s all he can see. It’s all he wants to understand and possibly that is a bit too invasive but then so was what he did the other night.
This is a strange curiosity, even for Kikwang and somewhere in the back of his mind, Kikwang wonders if it’s okay, if it’s healthy but Dongwoon breaks him out of his thoughts with a happy, “Hyung!”
Kikwang smiles brightly at his dongsaeng, looks up at him curiously and Dongwoon raises the bowl of popcorn in his hands and smiles. “Popcorn’s ready!”
“Yay!” Kikwang grins, taking the bowl from Dongwoon, who grabs the second one they prepared earlier and make their way over to the rest of their bandmates.
Hyunseung’s lying next to Yoseob on the floor, who has his elbows propped up to support his head. They’re watching Fast and Furious because everyone wanted to watch something wild and exciting but Kikwang knows they agreed to it because Yoseob whined really loudly.
Kikwang’s seen the film before, so he doesn’t mind that he’s missed some of it but Dongwoon complains about how he’s already missed so much as he sneakily takes the empty seat next to Junhyung on the couch.
Pouting, Kikwang wonders where in the world he’s going to sit and he shrugs as he goes to join Hyunseung and Yoseob on the floor. But as he makes his way over, an arm grabs him and Kikwang yelps as he falls back into someone’s lap.
He hits Doojoon with a bit of an ‘oof’ and Yoseob spares him a glance but turns his attention back to the film once he sees that Kikwang is still in one piece. Hyunseung’s attention never wavers.
“Hyung,” Kikwang whispers, all too aware of the arm wrapping around his waist and pressing him closer. Kikwang relents and leans back against Doojoon’s chest but he feels an overwhelming guilt clench his gut as he feels Junhyung shift over a little bit.
“Shh,” Doojoon whispers, head tucking into the curve of Kikwang’s neck and the fit is a little too perfect and Kikwang feels caught between an unease at how this must make Junhyung feel and the comfortableness of his leader being as clingy as usual.
And really, he feels like he’s robbing Junhyung of his time with Doojoon, robbing him of the comfort of the very same arm that was flung over his shoulder casually earlier. This isn’t entirely fair, Kikwang thinks to himself, especially considering that they rarely get to spend time together as it is, all six of them and Junhyung should get to tuck himself in Doojoon without having to share.
To his surprise, before Kikwang feels like he’s going to suffocate from all the confusion swirling around in his brain, Junhyung’s hand finds his and he laces his fingers through Kikwang’s. He presses soft circles into Kikwang’s hand as if to say this is okay, I don’t mind and Kikwang wants to ask him how.
Kikwang would have cried from the ugly emotion that would have festered in his gut from watching his, his boyfriend - is that what they were to each other? - with someone else.
He looks over at Junhyung who smiles softly, and Kikwang knows that for all of Junhyung’s nagging and general grumpiness, Junhyung is probably even more perceptive and caring than Doojoon. He just hides it rather well.
Kikwang doesn’t really think it through - not that he usually does - but he leans over and gives Junhyung a peck on the cheek and smiles sweetly. His hyung stares at him with surprise before hiding his crinkled up smile behind a hand and Kikwang thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.
“Yah,” Doojoon complains, “Where’s mine? It’s my lap you’re sitting on.”
“Shh!” Yoseob hisses over Doojoon’s voice and Kikwang can’t help but laugh as he sinks into Doojoon’s lap, fingers still wrapped in Junhyung’s.
Kikwang watches Doojoon trail his fingers down Junhyung’s arm and Junhyung bats his hand away, scowling. He wonders why Junhyung is all over the place when it comes to affection but Doojoon laughs at Junhyung’s frowning and leans over to steal a kiss.
This earns him a loud smack and everyone in Beast suddenly has their eyes on the couple. Doojoon laughs once more and Junhyung mutters something under his breath as Yoseob’s concerned expression eases back into a smile. Kikwang looks back down at his phone screen to re-read his twitter feed and possibly actually absorb what’s written.
Maybe everyone knows but no one says anything because it’s none of their business. Maybe that’s it.
But Kikwang feels worse when he thinks about their relationship this way, feels an odd pinpricking in his heart since Kikwang can’t help but want to know all of their intricacies. The curiosity intensifies every night when he chokes on his own gasps as he jerks himself off in the shower, their names dripping off his lips with the droplets of water.
It’s an unearthly sort of tiredness, something like gravity intensifying itself on Kikwang’s every cell and dragging him down deeper and deeper until just walking feels like running a marathon.
He drops his bag somewhere between the front door and the living room, struggling to get his shoes off and too tired to actually make it to his bed. The couch actually looks awfully inviting and Kikwang rubs the sleep out of his eyes so he can make it to said couch.
He wonders, vaguely in half-awake blurring thoughts, of how Doojoon manages to film for All My Love, and practise for their stages, and live and breathe through their fan signings but then Kikwang always finds himself up at the crack of dawn, returning back to their dorm after everyone else as he wraps up Inkigayo or Win Win or one of his too frequent guest appearances.
It’s not that Kikwang minds being at a thousand and one places in a single day but rather he loves the attention since it’s everything he’s ever wanted. After all, it’s not like Kikwang never had the grades to get through university - the biggest argument he’d ever had with his father had been over pursuing a career in entertainment over going to university - but he’d always dreamt of dancing and singing and being on stage.
This bone-deep weariness is a small price, he supposes and he has his days off to look forward to.
He stumbles over his own feet, nearly tripping and landing on his face but a strong pair of hands catch him and Kikwang stares wide eyed at a worried Doojoon when he gets back upright.
“Hey there,” Doojoon whispers, letting Kikwang lean into him and Kikwang does so a bit shamelessly because he’s tired and Doojoon is always as sturdy as a rock.
“Hi-yeom,” Kikwang mumbles back, nestling into Doojoon’s warmth and forgetting for a moment that Junhyung might get angry with Kikwang if he just goes around cuddling with his boyfriend.
His fingers find Kikwang’s hair and they rub soft circles against the base of Kikwang’s neck. “Tired?” he asks, lips pressed against the top of Kikwang’s head and he nods his head against Doojoon’s chest. Kikwang knows he’s ready to collapse and a part of him is telling him to move away from Doojoon and get to the couch but he sleeps for about four hours every day, sometimes not even consecutively, so Doojoon’s body is better than a bed or couch right now.
Kikwang almost whines when Doojoon takes a step back but Doojoon has a hand wrapped around Kikwang’s wrist and he’s pulling Kikwang after himself as he makes it to the couch. When Doojoon collapses on the couch, Kikwang falls into his lap, his own thighs pressed against the outside of Doojoon’s, head tucking into the curve of Doojoon’s neck and arms wrapping around his hyung.
He feels like a child, but he feels like being babied right now, feels like being taken care of and maybe that’s a bit selfish of him but then why is Doojoon offering him all of this, right?
Doojoon chuckles as his own arms wrap around Kikwang’s waist and he pulls Kikwang in closer to himself, as if there’s any room between them as it is. Kikwang lets out a whimper as he feels his cock brush a little too roughly against Doojoon’s lap and the older of the two seems to like this because his hand slithers underneath Kikwang’s shirt and presses against his back.
“Kwangie works too hard,” Doojoon breathes into his ear and Kikwang shivers, let’s his mind entertain possibilities it would be too terrified to fathom if he wasn’t so tired.
Doojoon’s hand slides up against Kikwang’s back, his shirt riding up higher and higher and the air-conditioned breeze in their apartment folds against his sweaty skin like a balm. Kikwang shivers once more, shifting in Doojoon’s lap and he knows he should just move away but Doojoon feels good pressed against him.
“Hyung,” he whispers, voice a little hoarse, palms sweaty from anticipation. Doojoon presses his lips against Kikwang’s neck, hot breath and supple tongue tracing shapes against Kikwang, who squirms at the sensation, mouth parted open as he breathes shallowly. “Hyung, what are you doing?”
But Doojoon doesn’t answer him, just travels up Kikwang’s neck, causing Kikwang to arch back in his arms and let out a breathy moan as Doojoon sucks right below Kikwang’s Adam’s apple.
“Mmm,” Doojoon hums against Kikwang’s skin, hands pulling at the hem of Kikwang’s shirt to remove it. Kikwang puts his arms up and let’s Doojoon pull it off, allowing it fall to the ground as Doojoon traces his hands down Kikwang’s naked sides. “When did my dongsaeng become so irresistible?”
A hot blush spreads across Kikwang’s face and he wants to tuck his head back into Doojoon’s neck but Doojoon has other plans. He smirks as he draws Kikwang closer and when Doojoon kisses Kikwang leisurely, like he has all the time in the world, Kikwang mewls into his mouth. Doojoon’s tongue slides across his lips slowly and Kikwang opens his mouth wider, tilting his head to the right as his nose brushes against Doojoon’s.
Kikwang rises up a little in Doojoon’s lap and Doojoon takes this as a chance to cup Kikwang’s ass, fingers digging into Kikwang’s flesh, and presses him against himself. Moaning, Kikwang clutches at Doojoon’s shirt, kisses Doojoon like his life depends on it and Doojoon lets his other hand trail down Kikwang’s abs.
It feels like electricity is being traced into his skin, and Kikwang can’t help gasping desperately at the touches, wanting this more than he thought possible.
Doojoon is all clever fingers and supple tongue, unravelling Kikwang like ribbon and as deft fingers unbuckle his belt and open his pants, Kikwang breaks away from Doojoon. His hyung looks at him hungrily, and Kikwang wonders if this is okay, because isn’t Doojoon Junhyung’s? He opens his mouth to ask but Doojoon’s slipped his hand down Kikwang’s boxers and Kikwang gasps as Doojoon takes hold of his cock. A thumb circles over the head and Kikwang sinks his head to rest on Doojoon’s shoulder, a thousand words lodged in his throat as he rasps out a “Please.”
“Please what?” Doojoon teases, hand sliding up and down Kikwang’s cock and Kikwang knows he’s digging his fingernails into Doojoon’s bicep but he thinks he’ll lose his mind if he doesn’t grip something hard enough. “Come on, Kikwang. Tell me what you want.”
Kikwang still wants to ask if this is okay, wants to tell Doojoon that maybe they shouldn’t be doing this because Junhyung’s heart might break but instead he takes Doojoon’s fingers into his mouth and sucks on them, lathering them with spit. When Doojoon pushes him upwards, Kikwang rises to sit on his knees and Doojoon pushes his pants down and peels his boxers down so that they hang from his thighs, tight and strained.
All Kikwang can think of is Doojoon’s fingers in his mouth and his hand slowly pumping his dick and when that hand leaves, Kikwang whines and Doojoon snickers something about how Kikwang is such a needy little boy. He notices Doojoon pull his own underwear off far enough that his cock pops out, hard and red and glorious. Kikwang swirls his tongue around Doojoon’s fingers at the thought of it entering him and as Doojoon pulls his fingers out of Kikwang’s fat lips, Kikwang reaches over and kisses Doojoon, whines into his mouth about how much he wants this. “Doojoon, hyung please, please. Fuck me, please.”
And Doojoon smiles against Kikwang’s mouth, presses a wet finger against Kikwang’s hole and Kikwang wants to howl at how good it feels but he moans instead, head tossing backwards as Doojoon presses the finger into him.
“Fuck,” Doojoon hisses, pushes deeper into Kikwang until Kikwang can feel the press of Doojoon’s knuckles and Kikwang wants more, wants to be blinded by how good this feels. And just as he’s about to tell Doojoon what he wants, what he needs, Doojoon presses his second finger into Kikwang and Kikwang gasps, loud and breathy.
“Doojoon, Doojoon,” Kikwang begs, pleads and he just wants to push himself down on Doojoon’s cock. “I want you, please.”
“Shh,” Doojoon quiets him, pumps his fingers in and out of Kikwang as he grips Kikwang’s ass to hold him steady. “Almost there, babe.”
Kikwang swallows, breathes in the faint scent of vanilla off of Doojoon as he bites down on Doojoon’s shoulder, sucking skin in with his teeth. He can feel the fingers scissoring him open, pushing in deeper and Doojoon hisses when Kikwang bites him too hard, supresses the scream that wants to escape as Doojoon’s fingers scrape against that spot.
Kikwang’s cock pulsates and he thinks he’s going to cum all over Doojoon, who’s removing his fingers from Kikwang and guiding his hips so that he lines up with Doojoon’s upright cock. And when Kikwang feels it pressing against his ass, feels it right at his entrance he pushes downwards, senses the slow burn of his ass being stretched apart and he loves it. Loves the way Doojoon moans out his name, fingers digging into Kikwang’s hips to keep him steady.
He thrusts into Kikwang slowly, hips rising and falling off of the couch to meet Kikwang’s steady thrusts downwards.
“Doojoon,” Kikwang pants, sweat making his hair cling to his forehead and Kikwang knows he has dance practise tomorrow, knows he’ll have to face Junhyung tomorrow and it makes his chest feel like it’s being split in half. But Doojoon’s hitting that sweet spot again and Kikwang can barely breath against Doojoon’s neck, mind forgetting every fear as it blurs into a single chant of, “More, more, more.”
Kikwang reaches down to grasp his own cock in his hands but Doojoon bats his hand away, tells him, “No cheating now; be a good boy” as he thrusts into Kikwang faster and faster.
He whimpers, tears burning at the corners of his eyes as he begs Doojoon to touch him, to please touch him but Doojoon captures his lips in a kiss, swallows all of Kikwang’s pleading with rough bites and hard tugs. Kikwang’s lips feel swollen and painful but he loves it and he loves how Doojoon tastes, the weakest taste of Coke still on his tongue and Kikwang marvels at what kissing Junhyung must be like. He imagines Junhyung to be rougher, to tease him far more than Doojoon and it’s all Kikwang can bear, thinking of Junhyung’s mouth leaving kisses down his abs to swallow his cock before he comes, the familiar white-hot flash of pleasure vaporising all thought in his mind and exploding through his senses.
Doojoon growls Kikwang’s name, thrusts erratic and deep and Kikwang wants to collapse against Doojoon who stutters to a stop, thrusts into Kikwang hard enough that Kikwang arches backwards at the sensation and he feels Doojoon’s hot seed flooding his insides.
They’re both gasping, Kikwang limp and motionless in Doojoon’s lap but Doojoon hitches off his shirt and lets it drop onto the floor to join Kikwang’s. “Mmm, I’m sorry.”
Kikwang makes a weird noise in the back of his throat as if to ask why because he really has absolutely no energy right now.
Doojoon chuckles, a hand trailing up Kikwang’s back to entangle into his hair. “Now you’re probably more tired. I was supposed to make you feel better.”
“Feel better,” Kikwang tells Doojoon, not really capable of making full sentences. He snuggles closer to Doojoon, who pushes him away and Kikwang paws at Doojoon because he wants to stay close but Doojoon successfully removes himself from Kikwang and gets Kikwang out of his lap.
Doojoon laughs, “I’m glad but let me get us cleaned, alright?” Kikwang nods, already missing the heat from Doojoon’s body and he wants to maybe cry and see if his leader will give him what he wants.
The soft padding of Doojoon’s feet to the kitchen is all Kikwang hears over his now steadying breaths and when he returns, he has a wet cloth in his hand that he presses against Kikwang’s entrance. Kikwang hisses and Doojoon apologies again, softly wiping away any cum. He pulls up Kikwang’s pants after he’s done and brushes his fringe aside.
Kikwang thinks that Doojoon will let him snuggle him now but Doojoon disappears again and Kikwang can’t really keep his eyes open so he doesn’t even know where Doojoon’s gone and it feels like he’s drowning or -
“Shh, shh, I’m right here,” Doojoon murmurs to him as he shifts Kikwang so he can fit on the couch. Kikwang doesn’t hesitate to nuzzle into Doojoon’s side but Doojoon doesn’t seem to mind, because he’s wrapped Kikwang up in his arms and somehow also wrapped a blanket over them.
But Kikwang doesn’t wonder how as his mind clears itself of everything but Doojoon’s soft voice telling him to go to sleep now.
Kikwang wakes up to the feeling of someone shaking him and as his eyes flutter open as he stares blearily up at a familiar face. It takes a few seconds but his brain catches up with his eyes and Kikwang’s heart jumps into his throat as he registers that it’s Junhyung.
Junhyung who is with Doojoon who slept with Kikwang last night.
“Come on, get up sleepy head,” Junhyung murmurs, hand raking through Kikwang’s hair and it makes his body freeze. He shouldn’t be allowed such affection after what he’s done and Kikwang’s face must give something away because Junhyung gives him a little frown.
“You alright?” His hand travels to Kikwang’s forehead, pressing lightly. Kikwang doesn’t have a fever, he knows as much and he feels fine except for the twisting, screaming guilt churning in his gut.
“Fine hyung,” Kikwang mumbles hoarsely, turning away from the touch and Junhyung only frowns harder.
“Doojoon,” he calls, and Kikwang’s eyes widen in horror. He rises off the couch, realising that at least Doojoon isn’t still sleeping with him but that he’s still shirtless. Junhyung doesn’t seem to notice though and calls for Doojoon a second time.
Kikwang’s ears burn as he recalls the events of the night, and he wants to crawl underneath a rock to hide from Junhyung but instead he feels the suffocating guilt swarming in his gut wrap its sharp claws around Kikwang’s heart and squeeze.
“Yah, will you come here already!” Junhyung yells in the direction of the bedroom, eyes flickering back to Kikwang. “He was using you like a teddy bear this morning when I came over to wake him up.”
It’s like a second tidal wave of shock and Kikwang is quickly being engulfed, drowning and choking and trying desperately to breathe. Junhyung saw them. He saw them but, but…
“W-what?” Kikwang stutters, barely managing to hold Junhyung’s gaze. If he saw them, shouldn’t he be angry?
“He has to go for an All My Love recording and he left his phone in the bedroom so when its alarm went off, I had to go and turn it off and then find his lazy ass,” Junhyung answers. “You two seemed cozy though.”
Junhyung gives Kikwang this knowing smirk and Kikwang can’t help but blush and die on the inside from shame. How could he do this to his hyung? A sorry sits on his lips, terrified and guilty but before Kikwang can say anything, Doojoon walks out of the bathroom.
“What? Why are you screaming at me so fucking early in the morning?” he snaps at Junhyung, who rises to stand next to him. Junhyung flicks him smack dab in the forehead and Doojoon yelps, stepping back.
“What the fuck did you do to Kikwang? He looks like he saw a ghost. I told you to make him feel better, not shittier.”
“I did make him feel better!” Doojoon exclaims, indignant and Kikwang can’t quite keep up with this conversation.
“You’re such a dumbass,” Junhyung berates, before turning back to Kikwang. “Come on, we have dance practise and god forbid we’re late.”
Junhyung’s extended a hand towards him but Kikwang looks toward Doojoon instead who nods his head at him. Kikwang wonders what that means as he takes the proffered hand and lets Junhyung help him up.
Kikwang catches the way Junhyung gives him a once over and he can’t help but blush. Doojoon seems to find this amusing because he smirks as he wraps an arm around Kikwang’s shoulders. Kikwang wiggles out of Doojoon’s hold, feeling uncomfortable and nervous. “I should go shower,” he tells both of them as he heads toward the bathroom.
But before he can take one step forward a hand grabs his wrist and pulls him back. Junhyung pushes him back into Doojoon and gives Kikwang a wicked smirk. “I don’t think so. I’ve waited for ages for that moron to come out.”
“How much abuse do I have to suffer, huh?” Doojoon scowls, already wrapping his arms around Kikwang’s waist and pulling him against himself.
“You haven’t suffered enough,” Junhyung answers, stepping over to them. Kikwang feels like he’s stuck in some private moment between the two of them, like he shouldn’t be here but Doojoon holds him tightly, like he can’t let go. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to but how can Doojoon be so - how can he hurt Junhyung like this?
Except for how Junhyung seems unfazed and when Kikwang watches him lean over to Doojoon and press his lips against Doojoon for a mere second, Kikwang’s heart lurches to a stop, thunders like a gong through his head before absolute silence surrounds him.
Doojoon grins as Junhyung turns around and walks to the bathroom, but Kikwang is just momentarily glad that he has Doojoon holding him. He feels like he’s been plunged into freezing cold water and what the fuck are these two doing? How can Doojoon be so nonchalant and Junhyung, so… so blind?
“Kikwang-ah,” Doojoon whispers into his ear, something like a whine as he snuggles Kikwang closer. “Are you okay?”
“I, I, yeah,” Kikwang manages, something inside of him desperately wanting to get away. He smiles as he steps out of Doojoon’s arms, all too aware of how he’s still shirtless. It flitters across his mind, where the hell everyone else is but Kikwang thinks that maybe none of them have gotten up yet.
Doojoon looks concerned, a bit worried and Kikwang gives him a half-hearted smile. “Isn’t hyung going to be late for his recording?”
This seems to wake Doojoon up as his eyes widen in what Kikwang assumes is worry. “Oh shit, yes. Yes. I’ll see you later at the radio show, alright? Be good.”
Kikwang’s caught off guard when Doojoon takes a quick step toward him and gives him a kiss, lingering longer than Junhyung did with Doojoon. He wants to shove Doojoon aside, wants to cry because this is terribly confusing and how is this supposed to work? Is Kikwang Doojoon’s little hidden secret or something and why the fuck is Junhyung so relaxed and trusting and -
“Hey, hey,” Doojoon says to him concerned, fingers pressing at the corners of Kikwang’s eyes which are getting blurry and maybe he is going to cry. “What’s wrong?”
“What, what’s going on?” Kikwang breathes, voice shuddering and uncertain.
“What do you mean?” Doojoon asks him, and Kikwang can’t lie, can’t say he doesn’t feel his heart flutter at the way Doojoon is looking at him right now, at how many possibilities he sees in Doojoon’s eyes but he’s with Junhyung. Isn’t that where it ends?
“La-last night and Junhyung and, what’s going on hyung?” He stutters, wanting to simultaneously step away from Doojoon and bury himself in his arms.
A look of understanding dawns on Doojoon and he smiles sweetly, reaching over to give Kikwang another kiss, soft and chaste and reassuring. “I like Kikwang and I like Junhyung. It’s about as easy as that.”
Kikwang stares up at him and this doesn’t really make much sense, really. Doojoon can’t have both of them, just like Kikwang can’t really have both Doojoon and Junhyung. In fact, Kikwang shouldn’t have even done what he did last night with Doojoon because Doojoon is Junhyung’s and neither are Kikwang’s.
His head pounds as he thinks this through but Doojoon is giving him a hug and he smells like vanilla and Kikwang really likes it.
“Now, I have to go but it’ll be okay, Kikwang. I promise.”
Kikwang says nothing as Doojoon heads for the front door, just stands in their living room until he hears Yoseob behind him.
“Why the hell aren’t you wearing a shirt? You think I want to see your goddamn abs first thing in the morning?” Yoseob mutters darkly, glaring at Kikwang as he walks toward the kitchen.
Kikwang quickly wipes at his eyes as he follows Yoseob. He laughs because that’s what he would do otherwise, wrapping an arm around Yoseob’s shoulders as he catches up to him. “But my abs weren’t even facing you, Yoseob-ah.”
“Shut up,” Yoseob grunts, as he shoves Kikwang aside and Kikwang laughs, loud and genuine because Yoseob isn’t fucking with his head like Doojoon is.
Everything’s fine until Kikwang gets out of the bathroom to give Yoseob his turn because Kikwang had avoided Junhyung for a good twenty minutes and now there wasn’t anywhere to run.
Kikwang’s finally fully dressed though and this makes him feel infinitely better, if still entirely guilty and confused about what exactly is going on with Doojoon and to some extent Junhyung. Actually, of all the people Kikwang would have thought to have caught on to what was going on, Junhyung would have been the first. Yet here Kikwang is trying to avoid his band mate like the plague.
He watches as Dongwoon just walks into the bathroom without consideration for Yoseob and when Yoseob yelps, Kikwang has half a mind to go see if he’s okay but Hyunseung calls him from the kitchen so he heads in that direction instead.
Junhyung, Kikwang hopes, isn’t in the kitchen as well but of course that’s asking for too much. Hyunseung seems to be struggling to get a can of coke out of Junhyung’s hands and Kikwang can’t help the roll of his eyes.
“Junhyung-ah, it’s too early for pop; that’s not even good for you!” he says, striding over to help Hyunseung out and Junhyung scowls at both of them as his can is taken away. “You should drink some milk!”
“I know, you brat,” Hyunseung adds on, glaring at Junhyung who glares back with the ferocity of a lion.
Kikwang smiles disarmingly, going over to the fridge to put the coke away and grab some milk. As he closes the door he realises that Hyunseung’s left since the bathroom’s finally available and it’s him and Junhyung in the kitchen, alone. He swallows involuntarily as he feels the rising dread coming up his throat, or maybe that’s just bile.
“Here you go, hyung,” Kikwang manages as he hands, or well, attempts to hand Junhyung a bottle of banana milk. Junhyung scowls at the milk and then at Kikwang and then at the milk some more, his nose crinkling up in disgust.
“I hate milk,” Junhyung tells Kikwang, pouting and looking longingly at the fridge where his coke can now is.
“But it’s good for you,” Kikwang reasons, wishing Junhyung would stop being difficult so he could get away from him. The less time Kikwang has to spend around Junhyung, the better because in all honesty he feels like Junhyung’s going to read his mind and find out what he’s done. And then everything will be over.
It’s eating away at him on the inside, and he has half a mind to just piss Junhyung off so that the rapper wants nothing to do with him but Kikwang can barely say no to Junhyung’s scowling pout.
“Doesn’t Kwangie love his hyung?”
His heart rings like a gong through his head at the words, and Kikwang has to swallow some non-existent horror down his throat before he can reply. “Of-of course but it’s like six in the morning and you shouldn’t be drinking pop this early.”
“Doojoon lets me drink pop this early,” Junhyung complains and Kikwang swears he’s never seen this side of Junhyung before. This pouty, whiney childish side and he feels like he has his hands full.
“Well, Doojoon-ah isn’t here right now,” Kikwang tells him, barely managing to hide the shake in his hands as he grabs Junhyung’s hand to give him the milk one final time. “Hyunseung-ah is the oldest here right now so you should listen to him.”
“Hyunseung can’t even take care of himself, how is he going to take care of me?” Junhyung points out, back to scowling.
Kikwang sighs, rubbing a hand over his /face and he turns to leave since he really doesn’t want to be here right now or deal with this impossible Junhyung. It’s like he’s almost as stubborn as Hyunseung.
Except that Junhyung has other ideas and sort of paws at Kikwang in an attempt to get him to stay, which Kikwang finds terribly adorable but does this ever work on Doojoon? Doojoon who glares death at Yoseob if Yoseob tries to eat right before they go to bed.
“Hyung,” Kikwang says meaningfully, fixing his eyes with Junhyung’s. Perhaps Kikwang has never noticed this before, but Junhyung’s eyes are the prettiest shade of brown and this really isn’t the time for Kikwang’s feelings to get in the way. “Hyung,” he repeats, hoping that maybe if he sounds stubborn enough Junhyung will just drink his milk.
“Please?” Junhyung pouts and Kikwang knows that his resolve is beginning to crumble inside of him. It’s hardly his fault if Junhyung has an entirely too cute pout.
But Kikwang has said no to Yoseob while Yoseob’s given him his full-on aegyo puppy dog eyes look. He can handle this. “No. No.”
“Fine,” Junhyung snaps, letting go of Kikwang’s arm. He feels a bit terrible and a bit hurt but he deserves it. He deserves a lot more actually.
Kikwang smiles, the best smile he can muster at the time being and with the guilt pounding in his head like a jackhammer. He should probably take something for the headache but Junhyung is making a disgusted face at the milk he is cautiously sipping.
Shuffling around him, Kikwang goes to the cupboard he knows Doojoon keeps some extra headache medicine in. He’s just about to open a bottle when Junhyung snatches it away from him.
“Yah, what do you need this for?” he asks and if this is his idea of revenge, Kikwang thinks he may just let his head blow up from pain.
“I have a headache, Jun,” Kikwang explains, the feeling of role reversal settling like cement in his mind.
But Junhyung surprises him, eyes widening a bit in concern and he reaches to place a hand against Kikwang’s head, something like in the morning when he’d woken Kikwang up but Kikwang leans away.
He looks hurt, for a millisecond before he hides it all up but it’s enough time that Kikwang feels like a giant ass. Not that he already doesn’t feel like one but it’s as though all the reasons for him to feel like a terrible person are compiling into one huge reason. Maybe Kikwang is just a really horrible person who doesn’t deserve any care or affection. Maybe.
The smile he flashes at Junhyung before scurrying off to possibly hide in his bed until they need to leave is weak and sorry but Kikwang knows that if Junhyung’s expression is anything to go by, it just looked distrustful.
He wonders how terrible his hyung must feel but Kikwang knows he can hurt Junhyung several times worse. Knows that regardless of how much Kikwang does in fact like Junhyung, he’s probably done the worse thing imaginable to one of his closest friends. It may be one thing for him to joke around with Junhyung but it’s quite another for Junhyung to have to waste any time worrying over Kikwang.
Kikwang rather effectively avoids Junhyung for the remainder of their time in the dorm, slipping out of the bedroom right as Junhyung comes in, cuddling up next to Dongwoon so he wouldn’t have to be near Junhyung.
In fact, all of his avoiding works really well until they’re standing in front of their van and Junhyung’s the one bringing up the rear. Kikwang wishes he’d called shotgun before Hyunseung had but Hyunseung’s already climbing into the front seat with a rather satisfied smirk.
Yoseob and Dongwoon have both become immersed in some video game so Kikwang thinks of slipping past them to avoid having to sit in the back seat but Junhyung’s just wound an arm around Kikwang’s abdomen.
Everything lurches to a stop in Kikwang’s head and he feels an overwhelming need to throw up. Not only because Junhyung’s touch feels like an iron pressed against his skin but because his mind is spinning now and he has to swallow the swelling guilt in his throat.
At this point Kikwang knows he’s going to have to sit beside Junhyung and he wonders if he can just feign sleep until they get to Cube Headquarters but the way his stomach is churning leaves a lot of doubt in his mind. He watches as Yoseob and Dongwoon climb into the middle seats, feels the nudge Junhyung gives him to get in too.
The seat almost seems too small and Kikwang presses himself into the farthest corner, wonders if he’s acting far too strange to not be caught. Doojoon’s words lay heavy in his mind, repeating over and over like an echo.
I like Kikwang and I like Junhyung. It’s about as easy as that.
But it’s definitely not that easy. How can Doojoon be okay with hurting Junhyung like that and oh, oh God, how could Kikwang let it happen. His head feels like it may explode and Kikwang wants to shut his eyes so tight and will this all to be some freakish nightmare but Junhyung’s hand is pressing against his cheek.
“Are you okay?” he hears his hyung’s worried voice ask him. His eyes flutter open to find Junhyung mere inches away and Kikwang’s breath catches in the back of his throat.
“F-fine,” he stutters, weak and feeble, not daring to make eye contact. He almost brushes Junhyung’s hand away but Junhyung’s expression stops him. The very thought of hurting him anymore makes Kikwang feel nauseous so he smiles instead. “Really, I’m okay.”
“Is that why you’re acting so strange?” Junhyung asks, never one to waste time playing coy. He fixes, almost pets Kikwang’s hair, continuing to give him a patient but curious expression.
The guilt surges through Kikwang, washes over him like a tsunami as it crashes through the walls he’s built up in his mind. The apology sticks to the sides of his throat, unmoving, choking and all Kikwang wants to do is bury his face in the crook of Junhyung’s neck and apologise a million times.
“Strange? I’m not acting strange,” Kikwang laughs but it sounds fake even to his ears.
“You spent this whole morning avoiding me after you made me drink that god awful milk,” Junhyung scowls, as if he can remember the taste. “And you sulked around the apartment when you thought no one was looking.”
“I - what? Sulked?! I didn’t sulk. I’m just tired,” Kikwang exclaims, far more animated than he thinks he should be.
Junhyung raises his eyebrow at him, lips pursing in amusement. Kikwang’s heart flutters at the sight and he quickly looks away. “Yah, see. You’ve been doing this all morning, ever since Doojoon left.”
The world seems to lurch and for a moment Kikwang hopes the jolt running through his body is caused by the car suddenly stopping but he knows what this fear really is. “You’re just being weird, Junhyung. I’m perfectly fine. Are you sure you’re okay?”
It comes out a little defensively, a little annoyed, which Kikwang has no right to be but he needs to get Junhyung off his case. Actually, if Kikwang really thinks about it, Junhyung seems rather persistent in figuring out what’s wrong with Kikwang.
“You must be really tired if you’re snapping at me like that,” Junhyung says, sounding slightly upset.
Kikwang immediately feels about a hundred times more horrible but if upsetting Junhyung is the only way to ensure he doesn’t attempt to take care of Kikwang like this, then that’s really Kikwang’s only choice.
“I didn’t - ” he starts, cutting himself off when what he was about to say catches up with him.
I didn’t sleep well.
More like he slept too well.
“I just got in late, you know that,” Kikwang says instead. “I’m sorry if I was rude.”
Junhyung doesn’t say anything for a while, having turned away from Kikwang to look directly forwards. He turns back though, an arm draping itself across Kikwang’s shoulders. Pulling Kikwang closer, Junhyung presses a soft kiss to the side of his forehead. “I suppose I’ll have to forgive you since you’re so cute, huh.”
Kikwang goes about three shades of red but he chastises himself for allowing himself to feel so happy. After everything he’s done, he has no right to be enjoying Junhyung’s comforting.
“Take a nap,” Junhyung tells him, and there are tears burning in Kikwang’s eyes. The guilt that had started to settle tosses and turns and Kikwang can’t help it. Can’t help the little, pathetic sorry that comes out of him because he’s the worst really, isn’t he?
“I’m so sorry, Junhyung-hyung,” he says, voice cracking as he presses a hand to his eyes to stop himself from crying. “I’m so sorry.”
“I - what?” Junhyung says with surprise. Kikwang feels his hand being pushed away gently and Junhyung has him fixed with a worried look. “Seriously, what’s going on with you today? Are you sure you’re okay? You’re allowed to be irritated if you feel tired, you know. I wasn’t actually mad at you.”
“That’s not, that’s not it. I did something horrible and hyung will never forgive me and I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Kikwang cries, tears running freely now and Junhyung can’t brush them away fast enough.
“Shh,” he whispers, but Kikwang can’t meet his eye. He wants to tell Junhyung what he’s done, how he’s broken his trust, how Junhyung shouldn’t be sitting here trying to get him to stop crying.
So when he feels the press of lips against his, Kikwang freezes. His heart thunders loudly in his ears, eyes wet and wide, cheeks stained with tears but Junhyung presses closer. The kiss is soft and chaste and Kikwang knows it’s meant to be comforting but it’s wrong. It’s wrong and it makes his gut twist like someone’s just stabbed him.
But even before Kikwang can push Junhyung away, Junhyung’s eyes flutter open and he smiles. He smiles as though he is the kindness of his mother’s words and his father’s praise. Kikwang forgets to breathe, allowing Junhyung to dry his cheeks and when he presses his lips against Kikwang’s again, Kikwang feels as though he’s snapping back to reality.
Except that he kisses back and he should know better, he parts his lips just slightly and lets Junhyung take his bottom lip between his own and suck, and he should know better. Lets Junhyung slide his hand around the back of his neck and hold him, while his tongue dips into Kikwang’s mouth and he should know better.
Supressing a moan, Kikwang tilts his head, deepening the kiss and he can feel Junhyung’s hand on his thigh travelling upwards. It flitters in the back of his mind that both his hyungs, who according to his knowledge are together are both cheating on each other with him but he’s far too distracted to make much sense of that.
It’s lazy and slow and Junhyung seems to think he has all the time in the world to explore every inch of Kikwang’s mouth. In fact, he seems to think that Kikwang isn’t going to explode from all the thigh stroking that Kikwang is trying desperately not to moan about.
He whimpers when Junhyung pulls away, catching the insatiable look in his eye. It makes him shiver, a different sort of fear crawling up his arms and legs.
Junhyung licks his lips, smirking playfully. “Where’d Kiki learn to kiss like that, hmm?”
Kikwang blushes instantaneously, horrified at how easily both Doojoon and Junhyung reduce him to an embarrassed, heavy tongued mess. “Hy-hyung,” he stutters, giving the other a shove and Junhyung laughs, warm and light and entirely too amused.
“It’s too bad we’re almost at the studio or maybe I could have learned a few more things about Kikwang,” Junhyung grins, the hand on Kikwang’s thigh purposefully brushing briefly over Kikwang’s half-hard erection.
He gasps at the sensation, glaring at Junhyung who is still smirking at him.
“Come on, time to go,” Junhyung says, grabbing Kikwang’s hand before shuffling toward the door. He yanks it open, pulling Kikwang along behind them. As they step outside, Kikwang looks around nervously as if expecting Doojoon to pop out of nowhere and see them holding hands.
“Yah,” Junhyung scowls, leaning back into the van as he shakes Dongwoon and Yoseob to wake them up. “Get up, we’re here.”
The two groan and mumble, rubbing at their eyes as they step out of the van blearily. Hyunseung gets out as well, slightly more awake than the other two and smiles at Kikwang.
Kikwang attempts to fall into step with Hyunseung but Junhyung throws an arm around his shoulders before he’s taken two steps toward Hyunseung. He opens his mouth to say something but can’t quite work out what he wants to say. So he lets Junhyung walk him into Cube, feeling small and confused and the beginnings of a new headache.
- uh… this is like half porn, half plot and half mindfuckery so yeah. it's also potentially never going to be finished, lol but any and all encouragement is greatly appreciated!
- if i can get my ass into gear to write the rest of it, it'll be posted as the second part.
- this fic just, like, hates me or something and doesn't want to end/gives me horrible writer's block even though the entire thing is planned out and idk /sigh.
- i do hope everyone enjoyed what's here so far n___n thankyou so much for reading ♥~
beast; 2junkwang; nc-17; 9500
at some point, they all blured into one. at some point, kikwang fell in love.
while i make every effort to ensure that consent is never an issue in this fic, i have no way of ensuring someone may not read this as dubious consent, in which case, i do advise that people read this with caution as it isn't my intention to upset anyone.
moon and tide
He stumbles in on them. A little drunk because Yoseob had convinced him it was a good idea, after all their comeback was everything they had hoped for and more.
And they are a blur of limbs entangled in each other, shirts thrown off in some dark corner, as lips devour lips. Kikwang stands in the doorway, heart lodged in his throat as it buzzes rather than beats.
He stands and watches as Doojoon climbs on top of Junhyung like he is something to be conquered and Junhyung’s fingers rake down Doojoon’s back and Kikwang wonders, somewhere blearily in the back of his mind where everyone else is; why it’s just him standing here watching this unfold.
He wonders how they haven’t noticed him yet, how it’s possible to lose yourself in someone else so utterly that everything else ceases to exist. But really, Kikwang knows and he thinks back to his ex-girlfriend’s endless white skin and how she tasted like heaven and how nothing existed beyond the curves of her hips and breasts.
Except that Junhyung isn’t a girl and Doojoon must know that, after all, he’s biting down on Junhyung’s nipple and Junhyung’s arching off the bed like he could come just like that.
Kikwang stumbles back out of the room, aware of his hardening cock but bewildered and confused; drunk, really. He manages to slide down the wall beside the bedroom, Junhyung’s moans drifting to his ears through the wall and Doojoon’s growls coiling around his dick like a persistent pair of lips.
Kikwang whimpers, vision cloudy but not cloudy enough and he’s not sure when he’s shoved his hand down his pants to wrap around his cock but he’s stroking himself a bit messily, trying to time his strokes to the rhythm of Junhyung’s cries for more more more.
He twists his wrist and jerks, thinking that perhaps he’s gasped too loud but Doojoon is thrusting into Junhyung so hard that their bed is beating against the wall.
“Doojoon, Doojoon,” Junhyung whines, and Kikwang thinks it’s entirely too needy, too new for his ears and Kikwang’s hand can’t move fast enough, as he swallows gasps into silence.
He can imagine Junhyung’s legs wrapped around Doojoon’s waist, hands fisted into the bed sheets, desperate, frantic, wanton. And Doojoon with his teeth trailing marks adown Junhyung’s chest, pounding into Junhyung, breaking Junhyung into two.
Sliding a finger over his slit, Kikwang lets precome lather his hand as if it were soap and his rhythm is destroyed, just a messy urge to fulfill a filthy need. He breathes shallowly, tongue pressed into the corner of his lips, sweat accumulating down his back.
“Jun, Jun,” Doojoon’s deeper voice rings over Junhyung’s and Kikwang lolls his head back, lets it rest against the wall because he can feel it, can feel everything intensify into one blinding moment before his body shudders and he chokes on a silent scream as he feels cum shoot out and coat his hand white.
Kikwang gasps, breath ragged as he milks his cock until he knows there’s nothing left. He hears nothing but the drumming of his own heartbeat, Junhyung’s final scream ringing through his mind like an echo.
“Fuck,” he mumbles to himself, letting himself sit on the floor for a few moments longer. Kikwang doesn’t think his legs could hold him up just yet anyways.
Kikwang just pulls his hand out of his pants, wiping cum against his blue jeans when he hears the rustling of sheets. He staggers upwards, rushing to try and get to the living room so he doesn’t get caught eavesdropping.
And he doesn’t get caught, because when he wakes up to Junhyung gently nudging him awake at six in the morning off the living room couch, Junhyung doesn’t look any more angry than usual.
“G’morning, hyung,” Kikwang mumbles, feeling the uncomfortableness of dry cum between his things. Sluggish memories of the night before sink into his brain slowly and Kikwang has to fight to keep himself from blushing in shame and embarrassment.
“Goodmorning,” Junhyung replies. “Now come on, let’s get up. Don’t tell me you have a headache, too because I don’t care. You shouldn’t have been stupid enough to drink during our comeback.”
His hyung stands upright then and Kikwang wants to snicker because Junhyung winces and Kikwang wonders if he’s allowed to tell Junhyung that perhaps he shouldn’t be fucking the leader during the comeback either.
Kikwang’s taken to watching Doojoon and Junhyung rather carefully and they don’t ever make it obvious that they’re a thing, that even if they’re not a thing they fuck every few nights when they think the rest of Beast is asleep.
And well, everyone else is asleep but Kikwang’s become so hyperaware of Junhyung’s presence in the bed next to his own that even the slightest shift wakes Kikwang up entirely. He knows it’s none of his business, really but he can’t help but lie there imaging what they’re up to. It makes him consider how long this has been going on, how long they’ve been using their couch to screw around on.
But what Kikwang pays attention to the most are Junhyung’s long moans of Doojoon’s name and the way he whimpers when Doojoon seems to hit the right spot. What always gets him off is the way Doojoon always tells Junhyung how tight he is, how he groans low in the back of his throat as if he can barely handle how hot Junhyung is.
Kikwang can’t help but imagine what it would be like if he was between them and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that this is impossible and possibly a bit twisted. He knows he wants more than just a one night threesome, wants something he can’t quite explain but that’s selfish and he knows that too.
So Kikwang does what he can and muffles his cries into his pillow as he strokes himself to Junhyung’s mewling cries and Doojoon’s grunts until tears burn at the corners of his eyes and his own seed soaks his sheets and coats his hand.
It strikes Kikwang as strange that Doojoon spends more time worrying over Kikwang after dance practice than Junhyung, who’s lying on the floor with his arms spread out and his eyes closed.
Dongwoon is sitting next to Junhyung and saying something to him but Kikwang can’t quite catch anything because Doojoon is, has always been, a bit handsy and seems to want all of Kikwang’s attention.
He pulls Kikwang so that instead of just sitting on the floor like he had intended, Kikwang finds himself between the leaders legs with his back pressed against Doojoon’s chest. “Are you okay?” Doojoon asks him, hands squeezing Kikwang’s shoulders.
He sighs at the touch, relaxes and Doojoon takes this as a cue to start pressing circles into Kikwang’s too tight muscles and God, really, Kikwang should get massages more often. “Of course, hyung,” Kikwang murmurs in response, eyes closed as he enjoys however long this attention will last.
“But your face is all red,” Doojoon tells him and Kikwang can’t help the smile that forms on his lips.
“So is yours.”
Doojoon laughs, flicks Kikwang against the back of his neck and calls him rude. “I was only trying to look after my dongsaeng.”
“Perhaps you should look after that dongsaeng,” Kikwang says, without really thinking and he nods his head in Junhyung’s direction. Dongwoon’s taken to lying down next to his hyung but he still hasn’t stopped talking and Kikwang wonders if Junhyung finds that irritating or relaxing.
“Mmm, I’ll look after him a bit later,” Doojoon says and Kikwang knows what kind of looking after that is. His chest clenches oddly and he wonders why it bothers him at all; it’s not like Kikwang can be part of what they have with each other. This pining really needs to stop.
He says nothing in response because he knows Doojoon will read his jealously the wrong way and the last thing Kikwang wants is to lose Doojoon’s affection.
Doojoon doesn’t seem to mind the silence and as Yoseob comes stumbling over, whining about how Hyunseung won’t stop poking him, Doojoon presses a soft kiss against the back of Kikwang’s neck. It’s exactly where he had flicked him earlier and Kikwang’s eyes shoot open at the sensation, goosebumps rising over his arms.
They die just as quickly, as Kikwang notices how Junhyung’s eyes are set on him and Kikwang can’t quite decipher what the look Junhyung is giving him means. He smiles weakly but Junhyung just scowls as he falls back to the floor. He says something to Dongwoon that puts a hurt look on the maknae’s face and Kikwang guesses that he probably found all the incessant chattering annoying.
Or maybe Kikwang’s just ruined his day.
Doojoon’s hugs and hand brushing don’t stop and Kikwang feels like he’s constantly on edge, waiting for Doojoon to casually drape an arm across his shoulders next. Waiting for Junhyung’s tight lipped, distasteful scowl to hit him like a crowbar to the face.
Sighing, Kikwang presses the palm of his hand against his eyes. He really hates cutting onions but as usual, Yoseob’s beaten him at kai bai bo and Kikwang’s the one who has to help in the kitchen. This isn’t normally a problem but normally Kikwang doesn’t know that Doojoon is fucking Junhyung when he thinks no one else is around.
Since the only one between the six of them who can actually cook is Junhyung - Kikwang’s semi-decent at it but everyone admits that Junhyung’s the best - Kikwang’s not really looking forward to being stuck in the kitchen with him. It doesn’t help one tiny bit that their kitchen is small and a bit cramped and you can’t avoid the other person at all.
He almost yelps in surprise when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a chin rest comfortably on his shoulder. “Poor Kwangie, ended up with kitchen duty, hmm.”
It’s Junhyung, without a doubt but Junhyung doesn’t wrap Kikwang up in his arms like this. In fact, of all the people in Beast, Kikwang is probably the most terrified of not being good enough for Junhyung.
“Ah, hyung,” Kikwang smiles, voice strained and a bit high pitched. His heart is beating too loudly in his head for his thoughts to make any sense and Junhyung’s breath is ghosting over his skin sending tingles running up his thighs. “I guess I did.”
“Kwangie’s so helpful,” Junhyung murmurs and somehow he presses himself closer to Kikwang, as if he wasn’t already responsible for Kikwang’s hardening cock. His hands press against Kikwang’s hips and it’s a bit intimate really, to just be a friendly gesture. It’s not like Junhyung hasn’t been clingy before - just not with him.
Kikwang laughs nervously, leans into the kitchen counter because this is a little strange and it’s really not helping his growing erection but Junhyung is anything if not insistent and just follows Kikwang’s body.
“I’m not that helpful, really,” Kikwang tells Junhyung because in all honesty he’s been trying to avoid Junhyung and he’s stuck helping in the kitchen, it’s not really a choice.
Junhyung says nothing, seems to be enjoying Kikwang’s thundering heartbeat and weakening arms. His whole body trembles, hyperaware of every inch that Junhyung is pressed against and Kikwang can feel a growing knot forming in his throat.
“Why’re you shaking, Kikwang? Are you okay?” Junhyung asks, wrapping his hands - long dainty fingers and strong, wide palms - over Kikwang’s.
“Fine, hyung,” Kikwang manages, almost choking over the words as if they’re too much.
“If you don’t feel well, it’s better if you rest. Don’t worry about dinner, I can manage,” Junhyung tells him, guiding Kikwang’s hands as they both cut what remains of the onions.
Kikwang’s eyes sting and in all honesty, Junhyung’s offer sounds too good to resist but Kikwang doesn’t just ditch work. He’s overcome worse things than a boner for his hyung. “Ah, no, it’ll be hard to do it all by yourself. I’m fine, really.”
Junhyung chuckles, as if he expected this and Kikwang feels a kiss pressed into his hair. He moves away from Kikwang, onions finished and grabs a pot. Kikwang watches him, waiting for his heart to slow down or something because he feels like he’s on stage and a single mistake will ruin everything.
When Junhyung looks back at him and smiles softly, Kikwang can’t help the giant smile that stretches across his face. Kikwang knows he doesn’t understand Junhyung very well and he certainly doesn’t understand why Junhyung is being so kind when he should probably just be angry at Kikwang but Kikwang will take what he gets.
Smiles, kisses and hugs from behind.
Kikwang stands leaning against the kitchen counter as he watches Doojoon and Junhyung sitting on the couch, nestled into each other. It strikes him as odd that the rest of the members don’t see this, this intimacy that they share. Perhaps it’s because all Kikwang can see ever see is this intimacy curling around the two like a fog.
This ease with which Junhyung tucks himself under Doojoon’s arm and this nonchalance with which Doojoon wraps it protectively around Junhyung’s shoulders and Kikwang wonders when this all happened; how he missed it.
Deep down Kikwang knows he’s not that smart, he isn’t. He zones out sometimes, is a bit absent-minded - no where near as much as Hyunseung but Hyunseung doesn’t deny it either, Hyunseung picks his battles and settles them just as smartly - but Kikwang knows he has focus. Enough focus that when he dances all that exists is the extension of his limbs from his body and that when he sings the lyrics ring through his head like echoes.
And now, now as the image of Doojoon straddling Junhyung’s hips burns into his mind, set aflame over and over by Kikwang’s own curiosity, it’s all he can see. It’s all he wants to understand and possibly that is a bit too invasive but then so was what he did the other night.
This is a strange curiosity, even for Kikwang and somewhere in the back of his mind, Kikwang wonders if it’s okay, if it’s healthy but Dongwoon breaks him out of his thoughts with a happy, “Hyung!”
Kikwang smiles brightly at his dongsaeng, looks up at him curiously and Dongwoon raises the bowl of popcorn in his hands and smiles. “Popcorn’s ready!”
“Yay!” Kikwang grins, taking the bowl from Dongwoon, who grabs the second one they prepared earlier and make their way over to the rest of their bandmates.
Hyunseung’s lying next to Yoseob on the floor, who has his elbows propped up to support his head. They’re watching Fast and Furious because everyone wanted to watch something wild and exciting but Kikwang knows they agreed to it because Yoseob whined really loudly.
Kikwang’s seen the film before, so he doesn’t mind that he’s missed some of it but Dongwoon complains about how he’s already missed so much as he sneakily takes the empty seat next to Junhyung on the couch.
Pouting, Kikwang wonders where in the world he’s going to sit and he shrugs as he goes to join Hyunseung and Yoseob on the floor. But as he makes his way over, an arm grabs him and Kikwang yelps as he falls back into someone’s lap.
He hits Doojoon with a bit of an ‘oof’ and Yoseob spares him a glance but turns his attention back to the film once he sees that Kikwang is still in one piece. Hyunseung’s attention never wavers.
“Hyung,” Kikwang whispers, all too aware of the arm wrapping around his waist and pressing him closer. Kikwang relents and leans back against Doojoon’s chest but he feels an overwhelming guilt clench his gut as he feels Junhyung shift over a little bit.
“Shh,” Doojoon whispers, head tucking into the curve of Kikwang’s neck and the fit is a little too perfect and Kikwang feels caught between an unease at how this must make Junhyung feel and the comfortableness of his leader being as clingy as usual.
And really, he feels like he’s robbing Junhyung of his time with Doojoon, robbing him of the comfort of the very same arm that was flung over his shoulder casually earlier. This isn’t entirely fair, Kikwang thinks to himself, especially considering that they rarely get to spend time together as it is, all six of them and Junhyung should get to tuck himself in Doojoon without having to share.
To his surprise, before Kikwang feels like he’s going to suffocate from all the confusion swirling around in his brain, Junhyung’s hand finds his and he laces his fingers through Kikwang’s. He presses soft circles into Kikwang’s hand as if to say this is okay, I don’t mind and Kikwang wants to ask him how.
Kikwang would have cried from the ugly emotion that would have festered in his gut from watching his, his boyfriend - is that what they were to each other? - with someone else.
He looks over at Junhyung who smiles softly, and Kikwang knows that for all of Junhyung’s nagging and general grumpiness, Junhyung is probably even more perceptive and caring than Doojoon. He just hides it rather well.
Kikwang doesn’t really think it through - not that he usually does - but he leans over and gives Junhyung a peck on the cheek and smiles sweetly. His hyung stares at him with surprise before hiding his crinkled up smile behind a hand and Kikwang thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.
“Yah,” Doojoon complains, “Where’s mine? It’s my lap you’re sitting on.”
“Shh!” Yoseob hisses over Doojoon’s voice and Kikwang can’t help but laugh as he sinks into Doojoon’s lap, fingers still wrapped in Junhyung’s.
Kikwang watches Doojoon trail his fingers down Junhyung’s arm and Junhyung bats his hand away, scowling. He wonders why Junhyung is all over the place when it comes to affection but Doojoon laughs at Junhyung’s frowning and leans over to steal a kiss.
This earns him a loud smack and everyone in Beast suddenly has their eyes on the couple. Doojoon laughs once more and Junhyung mutters something under his breath as Yoseob’s concerned expression eases back into a smile. Kikwang looks back down at his phone screen to re-read his twitter feed and possibly actually absorb what’s written.
Maybe everyone knows but no one says anything because it’s none of their business. Maybe that’s it.
But Kikwang feels worse when he thinks about their relationship this way, feels an odd pinpricking in his heart since Kikwang can’t help but want to know all of their intricacies. The curiosity intensifies every night when he chokes on his own gasps as he jerks himself off in the shower, their names dripping off his lips with the droplets of water.
It’s an unearthly sort of tiredness, something like gravity intensifying itself on Kikwang’s every cell and dragging him down deeper and deeper until just walking feels like running a marathon.
He drops his bag somewhere between the front door and the living room, struggling to get his shoes off and too tired to actually make it to his bed. The couch actually looks awfully inviting and Kikwang rubs the sleep out of his eyes so he can make it to said couch.
He wonders, vaguely in half-awake blurring thoughts, of how Doojoon manages to film for All My Love, and practise for their stages, and live and breathe through their fan signings but then Kikwang always finds himself up at the crack of dawn, returning back to their dorm after everyone else as he wraps up Inkigayo or Win Win or one of his too frequent guest appearances.
It’s not that Kikwang minds being at a thousand and one places in a single day but rather he loves the attention since it’s everything he’s ever wanted. After all, it’s not like Kikwang never had the grades to get through university - the biggest argument he’d ever had with his father had been over pursuing a career in entertainment over going to university - but he’d always dreamt of dancing and singing and being on stage.
This bone-deep weariness is a small price, he supposes and he has his days off to look forward to.
He stumbles over his own feet, nearly tripping and landing on his face but a strong pair of hands catch him and Kikwang stares wide eyed at a worried Doojoon when he gets back upright.
“Hey there,” Doojoon whispers, letting Kikwang lean into him and Kikwang does so a bit shamelessly because he’s tired and Doojoon is always as sturdy as a rock.
“Hi-yeom,” Kikwang mumbles back, nestling into Doojoon’s warmth and forgetting for a moment that Junhyung might get angry with Kikwang if he just goes around cuddling with his boyfriend.
His fingers find Kikwang’s hair and they rub soft circles against the base of Kikwang’s neck. “Tired?” he asks, lips pressed against the top of Kikwang’s head and he nods his head against Doojoon’s chest. Kikwang knows he’s ready to collapse and a part of him is telling him to move away from Doojoon and get to the couch but he sleeps for about four hours every day, sometimes not even consecutively, so Doojoon’s body is better than a bed or couch right now.
Kikwang almost whines when Doojoon takes a step back but Doojoon has a hand wrapped around Kikwang’s wrist and he’s pulling Kikwang after himself as he makes it to the couch. When Doojoon collapses on the couch, Kikwang falls into his lap, his own thighs pressed against the outside of Doojoon’s, head tucking into the curve of Doojoon’s neck and arms wrapping around his hyung.
He feels like a child, but he feels like being babied right now, feels like being taken care of and maybe that’s a bit selfish of him but then why is Doojoon offering him all of this, right?
Doojoon chuckles as his own arms wrap around Kikwang’s waist and he pulls Kikwang in closer to himself, as if there’s any room between them as it is. Kikwang lets out a whimper as he feels his cock brush a little too roughly against Doojoon’s lap and the older of the two seems to like this because his hand slithers underneath Kikwang’s shirt and presses against his back.
“Kwangie works too hard,” Doojoon breathes into his ear and Kikwang shivers, let’s his mind entertain possibilities it would be too terrified to fathom if he wasn’t so tired.
Doojoon’s hand slides up against Kikwang’s back, his shirt riding up higher and higher and the air-conditioned breeze in their apartment folds against his sweaty skin like a balm. Kikwang shivers once more, shifting in Doojoon’s lap and he knows he should just move away but Doojoon feels good pressed against him.
“Hyung,” he whispers, voice a little hoarse, palms sweaty from anticipation. Doojoon presses his lips against Kikwang’s neck, hot breath and supple tongue tracing shapes against Kikwang, who squirms at the sensation, mouth parted open as he breathes shallowly. “Hyung, what are you doing?”
But Doojoon doesn’t answer him, just travels up Kikwang’s neck, causing Kikwang to arch back in his arms and let out a breathy moan as Doojoon sucks right below Kikwang’s Adam’s apple.
“Mmm,” Doojoon hums against Kikwang’s skin, hands pulling at the hem of Kikwang’s shirt to remove it. Kikwang puts his arms up and let’s Doojoon pull it off, allowing it fall to the ground as Doojoon traces his hands down Kikwang’s naked sides. “When did my dongsaeng become so irresistible?”
A hot blush spreads across Kikwang’s face and he wants to tuck his head back into Doojoon’s neck but Doojoon has other plans. He smirks as he draws Kikwang closer and when Doojoon kisses Kikwang leisurely, like he has all the time in the world, Kikwang mewls into his mouth. Doojoon’s tongue slides across his lips slowly and Kikwang opens his mouth wider, tilting his head to the right as his nose brushes against Doojoon’s.
Kikwang rises up a little in Doojoon’s lap and Doojoon takes this as a chance to cup Kikwang’s ass, fingers digging into Kikwang’s flesh, and presses him against himself. Moaning, Kikwang clutches at Doojoon’s shirt, kisses Doojoon like his life depends on it and Doojoon lets his other hand trail down Kikwang’s abs.
It feels like electricity is being traced into his skin, and Kikwang can’t help gasping desperately at the touches, wanting this more than he thought possible.
Doojoon is all clever fingers and supple tongue, unravelling Kikwang like ribbon and as deft fingers unbuckle his belt and open his pants, Kikwang breaks away from Doojoon. His hyung looks at him hungrily, and Kikwang wonders if this is okay, because isn’t Doojoon Junhyung’s? He opens his mouth to ask but Doojoon’s slipped his hand down Kikwang’s boxers and Kikwang gasps as Doojoon takes hold of his cock. A thumb circles over the head and Kikwang sinks his head to rest on Doojoon’s shoulder, a thousand words lodged in his throat as he rasps out a “Please.”
“Please what?” Doojoon teases, hand sliding up and down Kikwang’s cock and Kikwang knows he’s digging his fingernails into Doojoon’s bicep but he thinks he’ll lose his mind if he doesn’t grip something hard enough. “Come on, Kikwang. Tell me what you want.”
Kikwang still wants to ask if this is okay, wants to tell Doojoon that maybe they shouldn’t be doing this because Junhyung’s heart might break but instead he takes Doojoon’s fingers into his mouth and sucks on them, lathering them with spit. When Doojoon pushes him upwards, Kikwang rises to sit on his knees and Doojoon pushes his pants down and peels his boxers down so that they hang from his thighs, tight and strained.
All Kikwang can think of is Doojoon’s fingers in his mouth and his hand slowly pumping his dick and when that hand leaves, Kikwang whines and Doojoon snickers something about how Kikwang is such a needy little boy. He notices Doojoon pull his own underwear off far enough that his cock pops out, hard and red and glorious. Kikwang swirls his tongue around Doojoon’s fingers at the thought of it entering him and as Doojoon pulls his fingers out of Kikwang’s fat lips, Kikwang reaches over and kisses Doojoon, whines into his mouth about how much he wants this. “Doojoon, hyung please, please. Fuck me, please.”
And Doojoon smiles against Kikwang’s mouth, presses a wet finger against Kikwang’s hole and Kikwang wants to howl at how good it feels but he moans instead, head tossing backwards as Doojoon presses the finger into him.
“Fuck,” Doojoon hisses, pushes deeper into Kikwang until Kikwang can feel the press of Doojoon’s knuckles and Kikwang wants more, wants to be blinded by how good this feels. And just as he’s about to tell Doojoon what he wants, what he needs, Doojoon presses his second finger into Kikwang and Kikwang gasps, loud and breathy.
“Doojoon, Doojoon,” Kikwang begs, pleads and he just wants to push himself down on Doojoon’s cock. “I want you, please.”
“Shh,” Doojoon quiets him, pumps his fingers in and out of Kikwang as he grips Kikwang’s ass to hold him steady. “Almost there, babe.”
Kikwang swallows, breathes in the faint scent of vanilla off of Doojoon as he bites down on Doojoon’s shoulder, sucking skin in with his teeth. He can feel the fingers scissoring him open, pushing in deeper and Doojoon hisses when Kikwang bites him too hard, supresses the scream that wants to escape as Doojoon’s fingers scrape against that spot.
Kikwang’s cock pulsates and he thinks he’s going to cum all over Doojoon, who’s removing his fingers from Kikwang and guiding his hips so that he lines up with Doojoon’s upright cock. And when Kikwang feels it pressing against his ass, feels it right at his entrance he pushes downwards, senses the slow burn of his ass being stretched apart and he loves it. Loves the way Doojoon moans out his name, fingers digging into Kikwang’s hips to keep him steady.
He thrusts into Kikwang slowly, hips rising and falling off of the couch to meet Kikwang’s steady thrusts downwards.
“Doojoon,” Kikwang pants, sweat making his hair cling to his forehead and Kikwang knows he has dance practise tomorrow, knows he’ll have to face Junhyung tomorrow and it makes his chest feel like it’s being split in half. But Doojoon’s hitting that sweet spot again and Kikwang can barely breath against Doojoon’s neck, mind forgetting every fear as it blurs into a single chant of, “More, more, more.”
Kikwang reaches down to grasp his own cock in his hands but Doojoon bats his hand away, tells him, “No cheating now; be a good boy” as he thrusts into Kikwang faster and faster.
He whimpers, tears burning at the corners of his eyes as he begs Doojoon to touch him, to please touch him but Doojoon captures his lips in a kiss, swallows all of Kikwang’s pleading with rough bites and hard tugs. Kikwang’s lips feel swollen and painful but he loves it and he loves how Doojoon tastes, the weakest taste of Coke still on his tongue and Kikwang marvels at what kissing Junhyung must be like. He imagines Junhyung to be rougher, to tease him far more than Doojoon and it’s all Kikwang can bear, thinking of Junhyung’s mouth leaving kisses down his abs to swallow his cock before he comes, the familiar white-hot flash of pleasure vaporising all thought in his mind and exploding through his senses.
Doojoon growls Kikwang’s name, thrusts erratic and deep and Kikwang wants to collapse against Doojoon who stutters to a stop, thrusts into Kikwang hard enough that Kikwang arches backwards at the sensation and he feels Doojoon’s hot seed flooding his insides.
They’re both gasping, Kikwang limp and motionless in Doojoon’s lap but Doojoon hitches off his shirt and lets it drop onto the floor to join Kikwang’s. “Mmm, I’m sorry.”
Kikwang makes a weird noise in the back of his throat as if to ask why because he really has absolutely no energy right now.
Doojoon chuckles, a hand trailing up Kikwang’s back to entangle into his hair. “Now you’re probably more tired. I was supposed to make you feel better.”
“Feel better,” Kikwang tells Doojoon, not really capable of making full sentences. He snuggles closer to Doojoon, who pushes him away and Kikwang paws at Doojoon because he wants to stay close but Doojoon successfully removes himself from Kikwang and gets Kikwang out of his lap.
Doojoon laughs, “I’m glad but let me get us cleaned, alright?” Kikwang nods, already missing the heat from Doojoon’s body and he wants to maybe cry and see if his leader will give him what he wants.
The soft padding of Doojoon’s feet to the kitchen is all Kikwang hears over his now steadying breaths and when he returns, he has a wet cloth in his hand that he presses against Kikwang’s entrance. Kikwang hisses and Doojoon apologies again, softly wiping away any cum. He pulls up Kikwang’s pants after he’s done and brushes his fringe aside.
Kikwang thinks that Doojoon will let him snuggle him now but Doojoon disappears again and Kikwang can’t really keep his eyes open so he doesn’t even know where Doojoon’s gone and it feels like he’s drowning or -
“Shh, shh, I’m right here,” Doojoon murmurs to him as he shifts Kikwang so he can fit on the couch. Kikwang doesn’t hesitate to nuzzle into Doojoon’s side but Doojoon doesn’t seem to mind, because he’s wrapped Kikwang up in his arms and somehow also wrapped a blanket over them.
But Kikwang doesn’t wonder how as his mind clears itself of everything but Doojoon’s soft voice telling him to go to sleep now.
Kikwang wakes up to the feeling of someone shaking him and as his eyes flutter open as he stares blearily up at a familiar face. It takes a few seconds but his brain catches up with his eyes and Kikwang’s heart jumps into his throat as he registers that it’s Junhyung.
Junhyung who is with Doojoon who slept with Kikwang last night.
“Come on, get up sleepy head,” Junhyung murmurs, hand raking through Kikwang’s hair and it makes his body freeze. He shouldn’t be allowed such affection after what he’s done and Kikwang’s face must give something away because Junhyung gives him a little frown.
“You alright?” His hand travels to Kikwang’s forehead, pressing lightly. Kikwang doesn’t have a fever, he knows as much and he feels fine except for the twisting, screaming guilt churning in his gut.
“Fine hyung,” Kikwang mumbles hoarsely, turning away from the touch and Junhyung only frowns harder.
“Doojoon,” he calls, and Kikwang’s eyes widen in horror. He rises off the couch, realising that at least Doojoon isn’t still sleeping with him but that he’s still shirtless. Junhyung doesn’t seem to notice though and calls for Doojoon a second time.
Kikwang’s ears burn as he recalls the events of the night, and he wants to crawl underneath a rock to hide from Junhyung but instead he feels the suffocating guilt swarming in his gut wrap its sharp claws around Kikwang’s heart and squeeze.
“Yah, will you come here already!” Junhyung yells in the direction of the bedroom, eyes flickering back to Kikwang. “He was using you like a teddy bear this morning when I came over to wake him up.”
It’s like a second tidal wave of shock and Kikwang is quickly being engulfed, drowning and choking and trying desperately to breathe. Junhyung saw them. He saw them but, but…
“W-what?” Kikwang stutters, barely managing to hold Junhyung’s gaze. If he saw them, shouldn’t he be angry?
“He has to go for an All My Love recording and he left his phone in the bedroom so when its alarm went off, I had to go and turn it off and then find his lazy ass,” Junhyung answers. “You two seemed cozy though.”
Junhyung gives Kikwang this knowing smirk and Kikwang can’t help but blush and die on the inside from shame. How could he do this to his hyung? A sorry sits on his lips, terrified and guilty but before Kikwang can say anything, Doojoon walks out of the bathroom.
“What? Why are you screaming at me so fucking early in the morning?” he snaps at Junhyung, who rises to stand next to him. Junhyung flicks him smack dab in the forehead and Doojoon yelps, stepping back.
“What the fuck did you do to Kikwang? He looks like he saw a ghost. I told you to make him feel better, not shittier.”
“I did make him feel better!” Doojoon exclaims, indignant and Kikwang can’t quite keep up with this conversation.
“You’re such a dumbass,” Junhyung berates, before turning back to Kikwang. “Come on, we have dance practise and god forbid we’re late.”
Junhyung’s extended a hand towards him but Kikwang looks toward Doojoon instead who nods his head at him. Kikwang wonders what that means as he takes the proffered hand and lets Junhyung help him up.
Kikwang catches the way Junhyung gives him a once over and he can’t help but blush. Doojoon seems to find this amusing because he smirks as he wraps an arm around Kikwang’s shoulders. Kikwang wiggles out of Doojoon’s hold, feeling uncomfortable and nervous. “I should go shower,” he tells both of them as he heads toward the bathroom.
But before he can take one step forward a hand grabs his wrist and pulls him back. Junhyung pushes him back into Doojoon and gives Kikwang a wicked smirk. “I don’t think so. I’ve waited for ages for that moron to come out.”
“How much abuse do I have to suffer, huh?” Doojoon scowls, already wrapping his arms around Kikwang’s waist and pulling him against himself.
“You haven’t suffered enough,” Junhyung answers, stepping over to them. Kikwang feels like he’s stuck in some private moment between the two of them, like he shouldn’t be here but Doojoon holds him tightly, like he can’t let go. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to but how can Doojoon be so - how can he hurt Junhyung like this?
Except for how Junhyung seems unfazed and when Kikwang watches him lean over to Doojoon and press his lips against Doojoon for a mere second, Kikwang’s heart lurches to a stop, thunders like a gong through his head before absolute silence surrounds him.
Doojoon grins as Junhyung turns around and walks to the bathroom, but Kikwang is just momentarily glad that he has Doojoon holding him. He feels like he’s been plunged into freezing cold water and what the fuck are these two doing? How can Doojoon be so nonchalant and Junhyung, so… so blind?
“Kikwang-ah,” Doojoon whispers into his ear, something like a whine as he snuggles Kikwang closer. “Are you okay?”
“I, I, yeah,” Kikwang manages, something inside of him desperately wanting to get away. He smiles as he steps out of Doojoon’s arms, all too aware of how he’s still shirtless. It flitters across his mind, where the hell everyone else is but Kikwang thinks that maybe none of them have gotten up yet.
Doojoon looks concerned, a bit worried and Kikwang gives him a half-hearted smile. “Isn’t hyung going to be late for his recording?”
This seems to wake Doojoon up as his eyes widen in what Kikwang assumes is worry. “Oh shit, yes. Yes. I’ll see you later at the radio show, alright? Be good.”
Kikwang’s caught off guard when Doojoon takes a quick step toward him and gives him a kiss, lingering longer than Junhyung did with Doojoon. He wants to shove Doojoon aside, wants to cry because this is terribly confusing and how is this supposed to work? Is Kikwang Doojoon’s little hidden secret or something and why the fuck is Junhyung so relaxed and trusting and -
“Hey, hey,” Doojoon says to him concerned, fingers pressing at the corners of Kikwang’s eyes which are getting blurry and maybe he is going to cry. “What’s wrong?”
“What, what’s going on?” Kikwang breathes, voice shuddering and uncertain.
“What do you mean?” Doojoon asks him, and Kikwang can’t lie, can’t say he doesn’t feel his heart flutter at the way Doojoon is looking at him right now, at how many possibilities he sees in Doojoon’s eyes but he’s with Junhyung. Isn’t that where it ends?
“La-last night and Junhyung and, what’s going on hyung?” He stutters, wanting to simultaneously step away from Doojoon and bury himself in his arms.
A look of understanding dawns on Doojoon and he smiles sweetly, reaching over to give Kikwang another kiss, soft and chaste and reassuring. “I like Kikwang and I like Junhyung. It’s about as easy as that.”
Kikwang stares up at him and this doesn’t really make much sense, really. Doojoon can’t have both of them, just like Kikwang can’t really have both Doojoon and Junhyung. In fact, Kikwang shouldn’t have even done what he did last night with Doojoon because Doojoon is Junhyung’s and neither are Kikwang’s.
His head pounds as he thinks this through but Doojoon is giving him a hug and he smells like vanilla and Kikwang really likes it.
“Now, I have to go but it’ll be okay, Kikwang. I promise.”
Kikwang says nothing as Doojoon heads for the front door, just stands in their living room until he hears Yoseob behind him.
“Why the hell aren’t you wearing a shirt? You think I want to see your goddamn abs first thing in the morning?” Yoseob mutters darkly, glaring at Kikwang as he walks toward the kitchen.
Kikwang quickly wipes at his eyes as he follows Yoseob. He laughs because that’s what he would do otherwise, wrapping an arm around Yoseob’s shoulders as he catches up to him. “But my abs weren’t even facing you, Yoseob-ah.”
“Shut up,” Yoseob grunts, as he shoves Kikwang aside and Kikwang laughs, loud and genuine because Yoseob isn’t fucking with his head like Doojoon is.
Everything’s fine until Kikwang gets out of the bathroom to give Yoseob his turn because Kikwang had avoided Junhyung for a good twenty minutes and now there wasn’t anywhere to run.
Kikwang’s finally fully dressed though and this makes him feel infinitely better, if still entirely guilty and confused about what exactly is going on with Doojoon and to some extent Junhyung. Actually, of all the people Kikwang would have thought to have caught on to what was going on, Junhyung would have been the first. Yet here Kikwang is trying to avoid his band mate like the plague.
He watches as Dongwoon just walks into the bathroom without consideration for Yoseob and when Yoseob yelps, Kikwang has half a mind to go see if he’s okay but Hyunseung calls him from the kitchen so he heads in that direction instead.
Junhyung, Kikwang hopes, isn’t in the kitchen as well but of course that’s asking for too much. Hyunseung seems to be struggling to get a can of coke out of Junhyung’s hands and Kikwang can’t help the roll of his eyes.
“Junhyung-ah, it’s too early for pop; that’s not even good for you!” he says, striding over to help Hyunseung out and Junhyung scowls at both of them as his can is taken away. “You should drink some milk!”
“I know, you brat,” Hyunseung adds on, glaring at Junhyung who glares back with the ferocity of a lion.
Kikwang smiles disarmingly, going over to the fridge to put the coke away and grab some milk. As he closes the door he realises that Hyunseung’s left since the bathroom’s finally available and it’s him and Junhyung in the kitchen, alone. He swallows involuntarily as he feels the rising dread coming up his throat, or maybe that’s just bile.
“Here you go, hyung,” Kikwang manages as he hands, or well, attempts to hand Junhyung a bottle of banana milk. Junhyung scowls at the milk and then at Kikwang and then at the milk some more, his nose crinkling up in disgust.
“I hate milk,” Junhyung tells Kikwang, pouting and looking longingly at the fridge where his coke can now is.
“But it’s good for you,” Kikwang reasons, wishing Junhyung would stop being difficult so he could get away from him. The less time Kikwang has to spend around Junhyung, the better because in all honesty he feels like Junhyung’s going to read his mind and find out what he’s done. And then everything will be over.
It’s eating away at him on the inside, and he has half a mind to just piss Junhyung off so that the rapper wants nothing to do with him but Kikwang can barely say no to Junhyung’s scowling pout.
“Doesn’t Kwangie love his hyung?”
His heart rings like a gong through his head at the words, and Kikwang has to swallow some non-existent horror down his throat before he can reply. “Of-of course but it’s like six in the morning and you shouldn’t be drinking pop this early.”
“Doojoon lets me drink pop this early,” Junhyung complains and Kikwang swears he’s never seen this side of Junhyung before. This pouty, whiney childish side and he feels like he has his hands full.
“Well, Doojoon-ah isn’t here right now,” Kikwang tells him, barely managing to hide the shake in his hands as he grabs Junhyung’s hand to give him the milk one final time. “Hyunseung-ah is the oldest here right now so you should listen to him.”
“Hyunseung can’t even take care of himself, how is he going to take care of me?” Junhyung points out, back to scowling.
Kikwang sighs, rubbing a hand over his /face and he turns to leave since he really doesn’t want to be here right now or deal with this impossible Junhyung. It’s like he’s almost as stubborn as Hyunseung.
Except that Junhyung has other ideas and sort of paws at Kikwang in an attempt to get him to stay, which Kikwang finds terribly adorable but does this ever work on Doojoon? Doojoon who glares death at Yoseob if Yoseob tries to eat right before they go to bed.
“Hyung,” Kikwang says meaningfully, fixing his eyes with Junhyung’s. Perhaps Kikwang has never noticed this before, but Junhyung’s eyes are the prettiest shade of brown and this really isn’t the time for Kikwang’s feelings to get in the way. “Hyung,” he repeats, hoping that maybe if he sounds stubborn enough Junhyung will just drink his milk.
“Please?” Junhyung pouts and Kikwang knows that his resolve is beginning to crumble inside of him. It’s hardly his fault if Junhyung has an entirely too cute pout.
But Kikwang has said no to Yoseob while Yoseob’s given him his full-on aegyo puppy dog eyes look. He can handle this. “No. No.”
“Fine,” Junhyung snaps, letting go of Kikwang’s arm. He feels a bit terrible and a bit hurt but he deserves it. He deserves a lot more actually.
Kikwang smiles, the best smile he can muster at the time being and with the guilt pounding in his head like a jackhammer. He should probably take something for the headache but Junhyung is making a disgusted face at the milk he is cautiously sipping.
Shuffling around him, Kikwang goes to the cupboard he knows Doojoon keeps some extra headache medicine in. He’s just about to open a bottle when Junhyung snatches it away from him.
“Yah, what do you need this for?” he asks and if this is his idea of revenge, Kikwang thinks he may just let his head blow up from pain.
“I have a headache, Jun,” Kikwang explains, the feeling of role reversal settling like cement in his mind.
But Junhyung surprises him, eyes widening a bit in concern and he reaches to place a hand against Kikwang’s head, something like in the morning when he’d woken Kikwang up but Kikwang leans away.
He looks hurt, for a millisecond before he hides it all up but it’s enough time that Kikwang feels like a giant ass. Not that he already doesn’t feel like one but it’s as though all the reasons for him to feel like a terrible person are compiling into one huge reason. Maybe Kikwang is just a really horrible person who doesn’t deserve any care or affection. Maybe.
The smile he flashes at Junhyung before scurrying off to possibly hide in his bed until they need to leave is weak and sorry but Kikwang knows that if Junhyung’s expression is anything to go by, it just looked distrustful.
He wonders how terrible his hyung must feel but Kikwang knows he can hurt Junhyung several times worse. Knows that regardless of how much Kikwang does in fact like Junhyung, he’s probably done the worse thing imaginable to one of his closest friends. It may be one thing for him to joke around with Junhyung but it’s quite another for Junhyung to have to waste any time worrying over Kikwang.
Kikwang rather effectively avoids Junhyung for the remainder of their time in the dorm, slipping out of the bedroom right as Junhyung comes in, cuddling up next to Dongwoon so he wouldn’t have to be near Junhyung.
In fact, all of his avoiding works really well until they’re standing in front of their van and Junhyung’s the one bringing up the rear. Kikwang wishes he’d called shotgun before Hyunseung had but Hyunseung’s already climbing into the front seat with a rather satisfied smirk.
Yoseob and Dongwoon have both become immersed in some video game so Kikwang thinks of slipping past them to avoid having to sit in the back seat but Junhyung’s just wound an arm around Kikwang’s abdomen.
Everything lurches to a stop in Kikwang’s head and he feels an overwhelming need to throw up. Not only because Junhyung’s touch feels like an iron pressed against his skin but because his mind is spinning now and he has to swallow the swelling guilt in his throat.
At this point Kikwang knows he’s going to have to sit beside Junhyung and he wonders if he can just feign sleep until they get to Cube Headquarters but the way his stomach is churning leaves a lot of doubt in his mind. He watches as Yoseob and Dongwoon climb into the middle seats, feels the nudge Junhyung gives him to get in too.
The seat almost seems too small and Kikwang presses himself into the farthest corner, wonders if he’s acting far too strange to not be caught. Doojoon’s words lay heavy in his mind, repeating over and over like an echo.
I like Kikwang and I like Junhyung. It’s about as easy as that.
But it’s definitely not that easy. How can Doojoon be okay with hurting Junhyung like that and oh, oh God, how could Kikwang let it happen. His head feels like it may explode and Kikwang wants to shut his eyes so tight and will this all to be some freakish nightmare but Junhyung’s hand is pressing against his cheek.
“Are you okay?” he hears his hyung’s worried voice ask him. His eyes flutter open to find Junhyung mere inches away and Kikwang’s breath catches in the back of his throat.
“F-fine,” he stutters, weak and feeble, not daring to make eye contact. He almost brushes Junhyung’s hand away but Junhyung’s expression stops him. The very thought of hurting him anymore makes Kikwang feel nauseous so he smiles instead. “Really, I’m okay.”
“Is that why you’re acting so strange?” Junhyung asks, never one to waste time playing coy. He fixes, almost pets Kikwang’s hair, continuing to give him a patient but curious expression.
The guilt surges through Kikwang, washes over him like a tsunami as it crashes through the walls he’s built up in his mind. The apology sticks to the sides of his throat, unmoving, choking and all Kikwang wants to do is bury his face in the crook of Junhyung’s neck and apologise a million times.
“Strange? I’m not acting strange,” Kikwang laughs but it sounds fake even to his ears.
“You spent this whole morning avoiding me after you made me drink that god awful milk,” Junhyung scowls, as if he can remember the taste. “And you sulked around the apartment when you thought no one was looking.”
“I - what? Sulked?! I didn’t sulk. I’m just tired,” Kikwang exclaims, far more animated than he thinks he should be.
Junhyung raises his eyebrow at him, lips pursing in amusement. Kikwang’s heart flutters at the sight and he quickly looks away. “Yah, see. You’ve been doing this all morning, ever since Doojoon left.”
The world seems to lurch and for a moment Kikwang hopes the jolt running through his body is caused by the car suddenly stopping but he knows what this fear really is. “You’re just being weird, Junhyung. I’m perfectly fine. Are you sure you’re okay?”
It comes out a little defensively, a little annoyed, which Kikwang has no right to be but he needs to get Junhyung off his case. Actually, if Kikwang really thinks about it, Junhyung seems rather persistent in figuring out what’s wrong with Kikwang.
“You must be really tired if you’re snapping at me like that,” Junhyung says, sounding slightly upset.
Kikwang immediately feels about a hundred times more horrible but if upsetting Junhyung is the only way to ensure he doesn’t attempt to take care of Kikwang like this, then that’s really Kikwang’s only choice.
“I didn’t - ” he starts, cutting himself off when what he was about to say catches up with him.
I didn’t sleep well.
More like he slept too well.
“I just got in late, you know that,” Kikwang says instead. “I’m sorry if I was rude.”
Junhyung doesn’t say anything for a while, having turned away from Kikwang to look directly forwards. He turns back though, an arm draping itself across Kikwang’s shoulders. Pulling Kikwang closer, Junhyung presses a soft kiss to the side of his forehead. “I suppose I’ll have to forgive you since you’re so cute, huh.”
Kikwang goes about three shades of red but he chastises himself for allowing himself to feel so happy. After everything he’s done, he has no right to be enjoying Junhyung’s comforting.
“Take a nap,” Junhyung tells him, and there are tears burning in Kikwang’s eyes. The guilt that had started to settle tosses and turns and Kikwang can’t help it. Can’t help the little, pathetic sorry that comes out of him because he’s the worst really, isn’t he?
“I’m so sorry, Junhyung-hyung,” he says, voice cracking as he presses a hand to his eyes to stop himself from crying. “I’m so sorry.”
“I - what?” Junhyung says with surprise. Kikwang feels his hand being pushed away gently and Junhyung has him fixed with a worried look. “Seriously, what’s going on with you today? Are you sure you’re okay? You’re allowed to be irritated if you feel tired, you know. I wasn’t actually mad at you.”
“That’s not, that’s not it. I did something horrible and hyung will never forgive me and I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Kikwang cries, tears running freely now and Junhyung can’t brush them away fast enough.
“Shh,” he whispers, but Kikwang can’t meet his eye. He wants to tell Junhyung what he’s done, how he’s broken his trust, how Junhyung shouldn’t be sitting here trying to get him to stop crying.
So when he feels the press of lips against his, Kikwang freezes. His heart thunders loudly in his ears, eyes wet and wide, cheeks stained with tears but Junhyung presses closer. The kiss is soft and chaste and Kikwang knows it’s meant to be comforting but it’s wrong. It’s wrong and it makes his gut twist like someone’s just stabbed him.
But even before Kikwang can push Junhyung away, Junhyung’s eyes flutter open and he smiles. He smiles as though he is the kindness of his mother’s words and his father’s praise. Kikwang forgets to breathe, allowing Junhyung to dry his cheeks and when he presses his lips against Kikwang’s again, Kikwang feels as though he’s snapping back to reality.
Except that he kisses back and he should know better, he parts his lips just slightly and lets Junhyung take his bottom lip between his own and suck, and he should know better. Lets Junhyung slide his hand around the back of his neck and hold him, while his tongue dips into Kikwang’s mouth and he should know better.
Supressing a moan, Kikwang tilts his head, deepening the kiss and he can feel Junhyung’s hand on his thigh travelling upwards. It flitters in the back of his mind that both his hyungs, who according to his knowledge are together are both cheating on each other with him but he’s far too distracted to make much sense of that.
It’s lazy and slow and Junhyung seems to think he has all the time in the world to explore every inch of Kikwang’s mouth. In fact, he seems to think that Kikwang isn’t going to explode from all the thigh stroking that Kikwang is trying desperately not to moan about.
He whimpers when Junhyung pulls away, catching the insatiable look in his eye. It makes him shiver, a different sort of fear crawling up his arms and legs.
Junhyung licks his lips, smirking playfully. “Where’d Kiki learn to kiss like that, hmm?”
Kikwang blushes instantaneously, horrified at how easily both Doojoon and Junhyung reduce him to an embarrassed, heavy tongued mess. “Hy-hyung,” he stutters, giving the other a shove and Junhyung laughs, warm and light and entirely too amused.
“It’s too bad we’re almost at the studio or maybe I could have learned a few more things about Kikwang,” Junhyung grins, the hand on Kikwang’s thigh purposefully brushing briefly over Kikwang’s half-hard erection.
He gasps at the sensation, glaring at Junhyung who is still smirking at him.
“Come on, time to go,” Junhyung says, grabbing Kikwang’s hand before shuffling toward the door. He yanks it open, pulling Kikwang along behind them. As they step outside, Kikwang looks around nervously as if expecting Doojoon to pop out of nowhere and see them holding hands.
“Yah,” Junhyung scowls, leaning back into the van as he shakes Dongwoon and Yoseob to wake them up. “Get up, we’re here.”
The two groan and mumble, rubbing at their eyes as they step out of the van blearily. Hyunseung gets out as well, slightly more awake than the other two and smiles at Kikwang.
Kikwang attempts to fall into step with Hyunseung but Junhyung throws an arm around his shoulders before he’s taken two steps toward Hyunseung. He opens his mouth to say something but can’t quite work out what he wants to say. So he lets Junhyung walk him into Cube, feeling small and confused and the beginnings of a new headache.
- uh… this is like half porn, half plot and half mindfuckery so yeah. it's also potentially never going to be finished, lol but any and all encouragement is greatly appreciated!
- if i can get my ass into gear to write the rest of it, it'll be posted as the second part.
- this fic just, like, hates me or something and doesn't want to end/gives me horrible writer's block even though the entire thing is planned out and idk /sigh.
- i do hope everyone enjoyed what's here so far n___n thankyou so much for reading ♥~