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Posting via email, so beware wonky formatting!
I thought this article was going in a different direction from the leading paragraph, but I ended up really digging it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-gray/childfree-daily-mail-blames-career-women-male-childlessness_b_1507851.html
Fav part:
Most of the article focuses on Philip and his significant other, Sophie ... describing their situation:
(long quote basically says neither are infertile, she just doesn't want kids and he can't convince her otherwise)
The Mail later quotes Philip saying that he was "confused" by Sophie's lack of interest in motherhood because children "gravitated towards her" at family gatherings. (Note: Liking to play with children does not mean you want to birth them.) Yet he also acknowledged to the Mail that Sophie explicitly stated early on in their relationship that she never wanted children:
"I was taken aback, but parenthood was an abstract idea for me at that stage and I assumed at some point her biological clock would tick and she would change her mind."
... If [a couple doesn't] agree [on having children], that doesn't make the person who doesn't want kids the villain, especially if she never hid her feelings on the subject. Insinuating that women are to "blame" for not wanting children perpetuates the myth that women who don't want children are somehow defective females.
**
I would add to the author's response to the "kids gravitated towards her" thing that, just because kids like YOU, doesn't mean you have to like THEM. That's really no logical grounds to suppose that someone would like or want kids.
Obvs this is something that pings my attention, since I was in this situation once. Personally (and I'm talking with 20/20 hindsight here, I know you can totally charge Past Me with this crime), I don't know why people on opposite ends of this spectrum stay together, unless one person is more indifferent than on the opposite end. Brian has expressed that he wouldn't mind having kids if I ever changed my mind... but it's not a burning desire, and since I'm so firm on the issue, he's embraced a childfree future (and constantly finds cause to be glad for it, which he points out to me often :)).
I thought this article was going in a different direction from the leading paragraph, but I ended up really digging it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-gray/childfree-daily-mail-blames-career-women-male-childlessness_b_1507851.html
Fav part:
Most of the article focuses on Philip and his significant other, Sophie ... describing their situation:
(long quote basically says neither are infertile, she just doesn't want kids and he can't convince her otherwise)
The Mail later quotes Philip saying that he was "confused" by Sophie's lack of interest in motherhood because children "gravitated towards her" at family gatherings. (Note: Liking to play with children does not mean you want to birth them.) Yet he also acknowledged to the Mail that Sophie explicitly stated early on in their relationship that she never wanted children:
"I was taken aback, but parenthood was an abstract idea for me at that stage and I assumed at some point her biological clock would tick and she would change her mind."
... If [a couple doesn't] agree [on having children], that doesn't make the person who doesn't want kids the villain, especially if she never hid her feelings on the subject. Insinuating that women are to "blame" for not wanting children perpetuates the myth that women who don't want children are somehow defective females.
**
I would add to the author's response to the "kids gravitated towards her" thing that, just because kids like YOU, doesn't mean you have to like THEM. That's really no logical grounds to suppose that someone would like or want kids.
Obvs this is something that pings my attention, since I was in this situation once. Personally (and I'm talking with 20/20 hindsight here, I know you can totally charge Past Me with this crime), I don't know why people on opposite ends of this spectrum stay together, unless one person is more indifferent than on the opposite end. Brian has expressed that he wouldn't mind having kids if I ever changed my mind... but it's not a burning desire, and since I'm so firm on the issue, he's embraced a childfree future (and constantly finds cause to be glad for it, which he points out to me often :)).