and I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'll understand
Wow, I finally feel like I have time to myself for the first time in two weeks. Nice.
i. Wall-E
What an adorable movie! Seriously, you gotta love a movie where even a cockroach is the cutest thing you've ever seen in your life. *dances* The flabby, over-comercialized people kinda creeped me out though, because if you think about it, that's the direction we're moving in. *shudder*
ii. Grad Parties
....I am sick of them. Not that I've been to that many yet (only like six or seven), but they're so draining. I did have fun at my friend Thais' today, but my parents are lame and won't let me stay as late as everyone else. Not that I particularly want to most of the time, just....it would be nice. I guess that's what college is for, huh? Speaking of college, I have orientation next week, which should be...um, interesting.
iii. Friends
Alicia left today, which was depressing. I miss her so much! I do have a little more alone time now, which is nice. I have a feeling I'll be MIA for the next couple days. My plan is to drive out to Barnes & Noble tomorrow and spend some grad money on books. Lots and lots of good books. I feel so book-deprived; I haven't read anything captivating in a looooong time.
In general, I'm feeling closer to my friends after graduation, and at the same time, kind of detatched. Does that make sense? Like, I love them and want to spend as much time as possible with them before we all go our separate ways, but I keep pulling back, not wanting to get hurt. I don't like thinking about how in just a month, I won't be able to be with them anymore. It kind of breaks my heart, actually. I know going to CU was my decision, and I'm not sorry I made it. It's just....what am I going to do without Lena again? Or Allie, or Katie? Or Adam? Maybe I'll miss Adam the most of all initially because he's quite literally the best guy friend I've had in my entire life, and I've never had to live without that before.
Ugh. Like I said, I do NOT like thinking about this...
iv. Graduation
There's not much to say, really. It was boring and graduation-y, and I don't feel any different, which is the weird part. Thinking about not going back is yet another thing I'm avoiding. I'm way too good at compartmentalizing. Most days, I just pretend to myself like this is any other normal summer vacaion, because contemplating exactly how different my life is about to become is too effing hard right now. I think I more upset than happy about this, now that I pause to actually consider how I feel after all the hallaballoo (and wow, I actually used the word hallaballoo in a sentence....o_O). I haven't cried yet, either, which isn't a good sign, because it means when I do, I'll probably start and not be able to stop.
v. The Rest
--I watched the first season of Supernatural for like the fifth time with Alicia, because she wanted to see it, and hooooo boy does it remind me why it's my favorite show. I love those boys so much, and looking at their relationship in S1 and comparing it to S3 was so cool. Also, The Benders seriously creeped me right the hell out, even watching it the second time around (I usually skip it because I thought one viewing was more than enough) *shudder*
--My twelve year old baby sister has a boyfriend. This happened yesterday. Part of me wants to find the kid and beat him up or something, because seriously. THEY ARE WAY TOO YOUNG. She's only going into seventh grade! Granted, I had my first "boyfriend" at 13, but still. Just....ah!
--I've been meaning to post this since the Tony's aired--In the Heights is the best freaking musical I've seen in a long time, and I was so happy when they won Best Musical. This is the video of Lin-Manuel Miranda, the show's creator, writer, composer, and star (he's an amazing guy), accepting the award for Best Original Score. You don't have to know a thing about the show to tear up while watching this. Seriously the most heartfelt acceptance speech I've heard in my life.
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