Run Away with Me?

[that_chick13]

I think I should sell my lolita wardrobe and get out of the fashion for good. I feel like I'm being selfish and wasteful when I buy new clothes or any lolita accessories. I don't feel pretty anymore either, at least not in the way that I used to feel when I dress up. Although, I am still in love with the aesthetic of lolita and fascinated by j-fashion, I fell it just doesn't suit me. I wish I could say that it was because I wanted to be more responsible with my finances, but really it's just to fill other selfish wants. What I really want is to travel. I want to be anywhere but where I am.

I fear that I'll never be content with where I am and that I'll always just want to go somewhere else. Whenever I feel unhappy, angry, upset or when I just get bored, I feel the need to leave. Just pack up and pick a spot on the map. I don't think it will just solve everything that's happened or make it better, but maybe I can forget it or pretend it never happened. I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with other people wanting to move around, but I feel selfish for it. I wish I knew what I wanted, or at least how to make myself feel better.

I hardly ever post and I already feel like this is too much el jay. Shut me up, I need to go and read a fucking book!!!

Does anyone have any good reads to suggest?