Growing up, getting older.
In this past year...it seems so much has happened. This has been one of the best years of my life, I feel. I think I have really progressed and grown as a person.
And so many good things have happened.
* I've met one of the most wonderful people in my life. At first I don't think too many people (friends and family included) understood the why's or how's of our relationship, but I'm so thankful that they have all turned around and have accepted him. Of course, not my dad, but I still hope for him to come around and just realize that this man makes me happy :) I would love for John and my dad to have that father/son relationship..do I think it will ever happen?
Not likely.
He is beautiful inside and out, he makes me laugh, keeps me safe (and fed ha), he's affectionate in his own little ways, he makes me feel good about myself, and I can't believe that I've almost spent 365 days with him in my life. And I can't wait for the next 365! We've talked a lot about the future and our plans, and I really feel this is someone that I can spend a long time, if not the rest of my life, with <3
* I've come into my own in my current profession. I feel so much more confident doing hair than I would've been this time last year. I stand back and look at my colors, highlights, and really feel I've progressed. I still remember that first highlight I got as a professional, and how she cried in my chair and got a refund the next day...and how today, I put highlights and lowlights in a lady's hair, and how she just thanked me and told me she loved it.
I'm not as naive as I used to be around my collegues either. Before I would've jumped to clean shelves, sweep, etc, because I was a sucker and wanted to make a good impression. Now - it's just bitchwork. And the people I work with don't appreciate shit. Our asst. manager, Jessica, my friend, was fired last week for no good reason - much like John. Her father had just had major surgery and she was already stressed she couldn't be with him, and they couldn't even work with her to help her out. She put in so much tears and sweat into her job, just to have them throw it all away for her. I will not be next to do her dirty work because THEY decided they didn't need her anymore.
* I've grown up a lot in this past year. I definitely feel that living out of my parent's house has helped me grow up in life. I'm proud that I can support myself and John if he ever needed it. Together we could always make our rent, pay our bills, and still have enough left over for ourselves. I think I've come into my own and have realized what it's like to be an adult. John doesn't see me as the little girl my dad thinks I am...which is great. I have my independence!
With all that though, I feel like so many others in my life are trying to grow up so fast. My best friend is getting married next April...that's crazy. She went from being not even ready to be engaged, to ready to get married? I have a feeling she might've been engaged when she was calling her ring a "promise" ring. She's not even known her boyfriend for a year yet, maybe only 7 months or so. Why not get engaged and wait a year? Why the sudden rush to get hitched?
John and I have been together for almost a year and we haven't even talked about us getting married. There's been "If"s and such...And we certainly haven't told each other "I love you" yet. But we know how we feel about each other and that's all we need. I just don't want her rushing into anything that's all. I keep trying to say that yes, while not everyone has to live together before marriage, it's at least a good tester for when you do tie the knot to live together beforehand. People aren't the same as they seem when you aren't always there. You pick up on little habits that can sometimes annoy you. But she'll have to take him as is. For better or worse. She doesn't even know where she'll live once she's married. And as it's looking, it could be with his mum...
Awkward.
I wish her the best. But I just want her to be doing this for the right reasons. "I love him" isn't always the best answer to "why?"
Then there's their sex thing. My friend has never been intimate with her boyfriend, other stuff yes, but not sex yet. And if she's not comfortable with it now, I asked her, 'Will you be ready when you're married? Because now all of a sudden he's your husband and it'll feel like the right thing to do?" Not that I think she's getting married because she wants to have sex, but if she's not ready now, I don't feel that she should suddenly be ready just because he's her husband. You know? Ok...maybe slightly I do feel as if it could be that.
Other friends of mine are also getting married, or are pregnant. Sure, I can't judge anyone for keeping it, I don't know if I could get an abortion if I was going to have John's baby, but it's like their whole life is over before it really started. No more school, no more partying, etc...not for a while at least because now their child's life comes before their own. And that's sad, they're still so young.
Seems like everyone is trying to grow up so fast....
Anywho, in other news...
Stop me if this is TMI...but I've been taking birth control (YAZ) for the last month...and I don't know about anyone else that's been on the pill...but I've been bleeding for the WHOLE month. It's driving me nuts. Haha...I called my Doctor's office and they said I could be like this from one to three pill packs...fuck that. But then in the booklet it says you can have anything from spotting, to a flow just like a regular period in between each cycle...guess who got lucky?! XP
John and I have been deciding what to do in the future year. We know that we don't want to live in apartments forever...so he actually suggessted that I move back home so we can save enough to get a house in a year or so, while he gets a one/one apartment somewhere. Which, while I would be up for it, I can't even begin to imagine how weird it would be. It's not like dad could say anything, because we're still together, and I'd still come and go as I please because he already know's he can't control me. I'd practically still live with John anyway..probably be over his place all the time like I used to. I know mum would probably be over the moon. I can just imagine all the shit people would probably give me. Lisette would probably have tons to say. I hate that woman.
Sorry the post was so long...have to go back to my own place now anyways...got a bloody meeting tomorrow morning at 8AM...bleh.
Everyone just remember how old you are...stop trying to grow up so fast, and enjoy your young years while you stil have them!
Carpe Diem!!
And so many good things have happened.
* I've met one of the most wonderful people in my life. At first I don't think too many people (friends and family included) understood the why's or how's of our relationship, but I'm so thankful that they have all turned around and have accepted him. Of course, not my dad, but I still hope for him to come around and just realize that this man makes me happy :) I would love for John and my dad to have that father/son relationship..do I think it will ever happen?
Not likely.
He is beautiful inside and out, he makes me laugh, keeps me safe (and fed ha), he's affectionate in his own little ways, he makes me feel good about myself, and I can't believe that I've almost spent 365 days with him in my life. And I can't wait for the next 365! We've talked a lot about the future and our plans, and I really feel this is someone that I can spend a long time, if not the rest of my life, with <3
* I've come into my own in my current profession. I feel so much more confident doing hair than I would've been this time last year. I stand back and look at my colors, highlights, and really feel I've progressed. I still remember that first highlight I got as a professional, and how she cried in my chair and got a refund the next day...and how today, I put highlights and lowlights in a lady's hair, and how she just thanked me and told me she loved it.
I'm not as naive as I used to be around my collegues either. Before I would've jumped to clean shelves, sweep, etc, because I was a sucker and wanted to make a good impression. Now - it's just bitchwork. And the people I work with don't appreciate shit. Our asst. manager, Jessica, my friend, was fired last week for no good reason - much like John. Her father had just had major surgery and she was already stressed she couldn't be with him, and they couldn't even work with her to help her out. She put in so much tears and sweat into her job, just to have them throw it all away for her. I will not be next to do her dirty work because THEY decided they didn't need her anymore.
* I've grown up a lot in this past year. I definitely feel that living out of my parent's house has helped me grow up in life. I'm proud that I can support myself and John if he ever needed it. Together we could always make our rent, pay our bills, and still have enough left over for ourselves. I think I've come into my own and have realized what it's like to be an adult. John doesn't see me as the little girl my dad thinks I am...which is great. I have my independence!
With all that though, I feel like so many others in my life are trying to grow up so fast. My best friend is getting married next April...that's crazy. She went from being not even ready to be engaged, to ready to get married? I have a feeling she might've been engaged when she was calling her ring a "promise" ring. She's not even known her boyfriend for a year yet, maybe only 7 months or so. Why not get engaged and wait a year? Why the sudden rush to get hitched?
John and I have been together for almost a year and we haven't even talked about us getting married. There's been "If"s and such...And we certainly haven't told each other "I love you" yet. But we know how we feel about each other and that's all we need. I just don't want her rushing into anything that's all. I keep trying to say that yes, while not everyone has to live together before marriage, it's at least a good tester for when you do tie the knot to live together beforehand. People aren't the same as they seem when you aren't always there. You pick up on little habits that can sometimes annoy you. But she'll have to take him as is. For better or worse. She doesn't even know where she'll live once she's married. And as it's looking, it could be with his mum...
Awkward.
I wish her the best. But I just want her to be doing this for the right reasons. "I love him" isn't always the best answer to "why?"
Then there's their sex thing. My friend has never been intimate with her boyfriend, other stuff yes, but not sex yet. And if she's not comfortable with it now, I asked her, 'Will you be ready when you're married? Because now all of a sudden he's your husband and it'll feel like the right thing to do?" Not that I think she's getting married because she wants to have sex, but if she's not ready now, I don't feel that she should suddenly be ready just because he's her husband. You know? Ok...maybe slightly I do feel as if it could be that.
Other friends of mine are also getting married, or are pregnant. Sure, I can't judge anyone for keeping it, I don't know if I could get an abortion if I was going to have John's baby, but it's like their whole life is over before it really started. No more school, no more partying, etc...not for a while at least because now their child's life comes before their own. And that's sad, they're still so young.
Seems like everyone is trying to grow up so fast....
Anywho, in other news...
Stop me if this is TMI...but I've been taking birth control (YAZ) for the last month...and I don't know about anyone else that's been on the pill...but I've been bleeding for the WHOLE month. It's driving me nuts. Haha...I called my Doctor's office and they said I could be like this from one to three pill packs...fuck that. But then in the booklet it says you can have anything from spotting, to a flow just like a regular period in between each cycle...guess who got lucky?! XP
John and I have been deciding what to do in the future year. We know that we don't want to live in apartments forever...so he actually suggessted that I move back home so we can save enough to get a house in a year or so, while he gets a one/one apartment somewhere. Which, while I would be up for it, I can't even begin to imagine how weird it would be. It's not like dad could say anything, because we're still together, and I'd still come and go as I please because he already know's he can't control me. I'd practically still live with John anyway..probably be over his place all the time like I used to. I know mum would probably be over the moon. I can just imagine all the shit people would probably give me. Lisette would probably have tons to say. I hate that woman.
Sorry the post was so long...have to go back to my own place now anyways...got a bloody meeting tomorrow morning at 8AM...bleh.
Everyone just remember how old you are...stop trying to grow up so fast, and enjoy your young years while you stil have them!
Carpe Diem!!