☄ four; [video]

[that_bowtie]

[This man needs no introduction. But oh, oh he will give himself one hell of a first impression.]

HULLOOO FORTUNA! [This is a man, a young man in a bow tie and tweed and the intellectual, egotistical spark that could start a fire in a rainstorm.] That's where this is, yeah? [his face is pressed almost right up against the device, but he's also

Comments

text;

[yourgoddamnit]

NO.

[that_bowtie]

[FACE SPLITTING GRIN. He remembers you.]

Yes. Yes.

[yourgoddamnit]

I AM HAVING A NIGHTMARE
ONE THAT EXCEEDS THE USUAL VISIONS OF CARNAGE AND HORRORS THAT I'M USED TO.
NO
THIS IS FAR WORSE
BECAUSE IN THIS SCENARIO
DOCTOR DOUCHENOZZLE HAS RETURNED
AND THERE IS NOTHING BUT THAT SMUG
FUCKING
GRIN
HAUNTING THE VERY DEPTHS OF MY BEING.

WHY AM I NOT WAKING UP.

[that_bowtie]

Hullo to you too! That's not a good and proper greeting.

No, wait! I stand corrected, that was a fantastic greeting. Very well-said, good on you!

[yourgoddamnit]

OH FUCK THIS IS REALITY.
THIS SICK, TWISTED REALITY OF A CRUEL UNIVERSE.
IT YANKED YOU OUT OF THE VILE WORMHOLE YOU SPAWNED FROM AND STUCK YOUR REVOLTING MASS RIGHT IN THE FUCKING WORLD I'M OCCUPYING.
I WOULD SAY "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS."
BUT I DO.
I AM NOT ALLOWED ONE FUCKING WEEK OF PEACE, EVER.
THIS IS JUST FURTHER PROOF.
AND EVEN AS I KEEP TALKING
I CONTINUE TO THINK
"MAYBE IF I PROLONG THIS, HE WILL TURN OUT TO BE A FEVERISH HALLUCINATION AND EVAPORATE.
OR MAYBE IT'S ONLY YOUR LONG-DEAD CORPSE, PRESERVED AND STUFFED.
THEN I WILL SAY
'YOU GOT ME, CHUCK TESTA.
YOU FUCKING GOT ME.'"

[that_bowtie]

[He listens patiently, smiling, nodding, making appropriate expressions, ever so polite as each line shows up. It's probably very maddening.]

...

You're finished, yeah? I could listen really, but I've better things to do and I honestly hope you've expelled those frustrations for the time being. Can't be good for you at all, holding all that in.

[yourgoddamnit]

YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN LISTEN TO ME HATE YOU
SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND ABSORB MY FURY, YOU ARROGANT PSEUDO HIPSTER.
ABSORB IT AND LET THE ACIDIC HATRED DISSOLVE YOU FROM WITHIN.

[that_bowtie]

[TWENTY MINUTES LATER]

Sorry, what were you saying?

[yourgoddamnit]

[ In the past twenty minutes, Karkat has been stewing in rage, his anger slowly mounting with each passing minute. Finally when he gets the reply, he responds by repeatedly smashing his communicator into a table, stomping on it, then trying to light it on fire. Thankfully his fury does no damage, yet it only adds to his frustration. The textual result is this: ]

DSJAKLTR;4FKALDS;TH43WQREJKFBDT WNMLFASKD;HSKjl;dasfjklt;hL;HFJDALS;RUIW4OAHRGNHBFS;DN RA;RGTHB;TGSJFDN;RFNWAKRB5TLHYRGEJDFPST9P9435UI4NRFNDLAKRGHWF

FDHSAJKT;Ahlkfdatg
hnjdfak;ltryj5elkra
hfjsadklhtjky4eti5uyriewqkfdjaspljthkngh
jdkfls;h

SHALTY;43UERW;AFSDUT;LK3L5HERGLFJAKDVSC;AN©ÁÔÁ†Î˚Ô¨ˆ†ÎÓÔ©´†ÁÎÓÔÍ©√ÔÒÓ√®Î†Î¨™Á¢ØÁ™ˆØıӣؙӈةӈӨˆ∏ÏÓ∑ˆ´ØÓ©¨†˜´©…ŒÓ¨√Ó
√˚…ŒÓŒ˚Ó®Ï˚ÒÓ√˚ŒÓ®¨∑Œ©˚®Ó∑√Óˆ®¨ŒÓΈØÓ¶¢•Ø£Á∏∞¶∏†Ô∑Ó∑∏ÁØ∏Ó∑∏©√Ó∑ØPÁŒ∏ˆ¨¢Óˆ∏¶¢™•ªØ§ı√Ø©´ˆ∏∑ŒÁψØÁÍØ˚ӈ؆ˆ∏Á®ˆ∏™¢†¡†®ØÓÎŒ¨ˆ†¢Ø£ˆØ∏¡†™Ø£™¢ªº¶•ª†¨Áˆ£ˆŒ∏™¢¨ÁŒØÁÓ˚Ô¢™©Œ†£Áˆ¨Á¢ÓÔ´∑˚˜˚Ô©¢Ôª¶•ª¢¢™¡•§∞¢ª¶º£¨ÓˆÁ™∞¢ªª•£Á™¡•ª••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

FUCK YOU.

[that_bowtie]

[... Good grief. His eyebrows rise up high and he leans back from his communicator, shifting awkwardly, fidgeting with his bow tie, running his fingers through his hair.

Then he scratches his head and gives Karkat a very unceremonious response.]

Feeling better? It's quite alright, you're not the only one.

[yourgoddamnit]

I WILL FEEL YOUR BLOOD ON MY HANDS.
TONIGHT.

[ it's a completely empty threat. OR IS IT?????? ]

[that_bowtie]

Take a number, mate! And get in line, I suppose. But I warn you, it's a very, very long one.

[yourgoddamnit]

I'M CUTTING TO THE FRONT.

[that_bowtie]

Have you committed multiple mass genocides?

[This is relevant.]

[yourgoddamnit]

HAVE YOU?

[that_bowtie]

All I'm saying is, they have, and if you haven't, you're not anywhere near the top of the list of people who want me dead.