'Can’t Stop My Heart from Calling You' [Nick Jonas/David Archuleta] [3/3]
Title: "Can’t Stop My Heart from Calling You"
Author: that_1_incident
Fandom: American Idol/Jonas Brothers
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Religious angst.
Pairing: David Archuleta/Nick Jonas
Word Count: ~27,500
Dedication: For Makinsey.
Summary: Nick Jonas is straight. Very much so. And David Archuleta’s Mormon, so… he sort of has to be. But when the two meet backstage at the 2008 Teen Choice Awards, they lay the foundation for an enduring connection that neither of them expects.
Disclaimer: Although 95% of this is accurate in terms of who was where on a particular date, the story itself is fiction. Title is a lyric from the Jonas Brothers song "Be Mine."
Author's Notes: See Part One.
Part One.
Part Two.
---<---<---@
David’s due to leave the next day, early in the morning, and Nick wants to take him to the airport but he’s needed on set. He has to do this dumb kissing scene with Chloe and, God, it’s just the worst day for it. He lies in bed and stares at the ceiling as he listens to the click of David’s door, the soft thunk of his backpack hitting the floor outside.
Nick’s halfway across the room before he even hears the knock, drawing back the bolt before David’s whispered “Nick, are you awake?” has finished falling from his lips.
Nick pulls the door open and they stand there looking at each other for a moment. David’s wearing his Elvis shirt - Presley, not Costello - and Nick thinks he’s probably really lucky that Selena still has his Costello one or he’d be tempted to do something dumb like give it to David to even out his Elvis count.
“Um,” David begins when he realizes Nick isn’t going to say anything. He looks around the deserted hallway before leaning forward and pressing his lips to Nick’s. It’s kind of doing a number on Nick, all these supposed last kisses, but he guesses this must really be it this time because David’s actually leaving.
It’s not a kiss as much as a need for contact, and Nick eases David’s head onto his shoulder and holds him afterwards, steadying David’s body with a palm on the small of his back. David nuzzles Nick’s neck with his nose, the unspoken sentiment coming through loud and clear, and Nick returns it by smoothing David’s hair. By the time they break apart, David’s eyes look suspiciously shiny, but Nick can barely see them through the salty sheen in his own. He squeezes David’s arm and David smiles at him, so sweet, so open, yet tinged with unbelievable sadness. Nick thinks he manages to smile back before David leans down to hoist his backpack over his shoulder and, with a final look at Nick, starts to walk away.
Nick doesn’t go after him. He wonders if David wishes he would.
--
The kissing scene is just awful. It really is the absolute last thing Nick wants to do, and despite his best efforts, he’s pretty sure that shows. Eventually, Paul, the director, tells them all to take five and pulls Nick aside, advising him to think of someone he actually wants to make out with. Nick wonders what his father would think of such a tactic, but he nods and smiles and says “No problem, sir!” with the intention of doing just the opposite.
But Paul’s words stick in his mind during the next take, as much as he wants to banish them. Chloe’s cute - really pretty, with pouty lips and soft skin - and if he closes his eyes, the part of him that wants her to be David badly enough to ignore the incongruities takes over.
“Cut!” Paul yells, striding over to give Nick a high five and a wink. “That’s a wrap!”
Nick wonders what the people at Disney would think if they knew he was picturing a guy.
--
So the emotional fallout from the David thing definitely sucks, and Nick’s not gonna pretend otherwise. Joe and Kevin are sharing a room because they’re weird (and like to watch movies until they fall asleep on each other), but that night, Joe slips out to check on him when Kevin zonks out halfway through Sleepless in Seattle. Nick lets him in and looks at him and he just knows, Nick can tell.
“I’m… really sorry,” Joe says awkwardly, then shakes his head and says, “Aw, bro, c’mere.”
Nick hugs his brother tightly and wills himself not to cry, and if that doesn’t entirely work then, hey, it’s their secret.
--
David calls late the next night but Nick’s not sleeping, just lying in bed and wishing he were. He must sound a little groggy when he answers because David exclaims, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I forgot about the time difference, go back to sleep!” and apologizes five more times before Nick manages to shush him, telling him it’s truly fine.
“How was your awards show?” Nick asks after that, assuming they’re going to fall right back into their regular pattern of not acknowledging the elephant in the room.
“It was really good,” David says quietly. “Um. I won This Year in Music’s Male Rising Star.”
Nick breaks into a grin. “Wait, really? That’s awesome, dude. Congratulations!”
David sounds so shy and gratified when he thanks Nick, like it means so much to him, like he never expected any of it, and it reminds Nick of the times Simon Cowell used to pay him compliments on Idol back in the day. They chat about the ALMAs for a while, how Shakira was there but not wearing a lot (which was super embarrassing because David’s date was his mom), and how Eva Longoria cornered David backstage and got about five different pictures with him. Nick finds that pretty ironic because Chloe used to be on Desperate Housewives, which he only knows because Kevin is, like, addicted to it. After that, David gets pretty quiet, and Nick’s wondering if he should say he needs to get some sleep just for an excuse to end the conversation when David says, “Um, I talked to my mom.”
“…Okay?” Nick says questioningly, because if they spent all evening together, Nick sort of expected them to converse at least a little, but then David clarifies, “About us.”
Oh. Oh.
Nick can’t even breathe right now, let alone formulate words, so he waits for David to continue.
“She’s just. Um. She’s not like my dad, she’s… she gets stuff. And we’re really close, and she knew something was wrong, and I just. I didn’t wanna keep it from her anymore. You know?”
Nick understands that. He remembers what happened when Joe found out, how terrifying it was at first, but that a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders by the mere fact that someone knew and didn’t hate him for it.
“What did she say?”
“She said she kind of knew.”
--
Lupe sounds like a smart woman. Nick doesn’t really know her - he’s only met her once, at the show in Del Mar - but he remembers liking her in an abstract kind of way. Apparently she’d suspected something right from when she saw them hug that time, before anything had even happened, but waited for David to come to her rather than confronting him.
“So, uh… do you have to stop doing that whole sacrament thing now? And, like, the priest… whatever?”
“Using the priesthood,” David laughs, and Nick smiles in spite of himself. He loves that sound. “Um, well, I talked to my mom about that, and she said it was up to me. Because, like, I told her what I told you, and I basically made the decision by myself that it’s not going to happen again and I’m going to stick to that, so. She says as long as I talk to God about it and stay firm with myself, I shouldn’t have to do any of that stuff. She’s, um. She’s kind of progressive, my mom. Not, like, a lot or anything, and she still believes in all the teachings, just… I guess she doesn’t agree with the part where you get publicly shamed for something, you know? In front of everyone. She says that stuff should stay between you and God.”
Nick’s nodding slowly even though David can’t see him. “That makes a lot of sense,” he says finally. He’s glad David sounds so at peace with it now, despite everything. Like, he could’ve got really messed up over this and Nick’s glad he didn’t, even though he wishes things between them could’ve gone differently.
“My mom really likes you,” David says suddenly, and Nick laughs wonderingly. “She said it was really strong of you to...” He trails off before continuing shyly, “Slow things down that time. You know? She said you’re a good person.”
“…Tell her thanks,” Nick says after a beat, trying not to sound too choked up. He’s happy David’s happy. Now he just has to work on himself.
--
It’s weird how fast their relationship snaps back into place. There’s surprisingly little tension and they talk as easily as they always did, but there’s this crackling undercurrent beneath every conversation and Nick wonders if David’s aware of it. It’s hard to put into words, but that doesn’t make it any less tangible.
They finish shooting Camp Rock 2, and then the Bounce video comes out (Nick sends David the link and gets a text back saying what with no punctuation), and Nick and his brothers fly to South America while David goes off to Nashville to write songs. David’s Christmas album drops and Nick gets up to Ave Maria and like, falls over, which David thinks is really funny (“Um, it’s not that amazing, but… thank you?”). Then the Jonas Brothers go to Europe and David starts his U.S. Christmas tour, so they never really know which time zone the other is in, but they try to make it work anyway.
And when Nick’s curled in his hotel bed in Turin, coughing and wheezing and feeling absolutely awful about canceling the show in Zurich, it’s Joe and Kevin who climb in beside him, channel-surfing until they find Gone With the Wind dubbed in Italian, but it’s David who keeps texting, right up until the second he goes onstage.
--
So Kevin’s getting married in December, which is completely crazy but totally awesome. Kevin’s really excited about it, and he and Danielle are so in love, and Nick knows they’re going to make it even if a bunch of tabloids are calling it his “starter marriage.” The wedding will be held at Oheka Castle on Long Island, this beautiful fairytale escape not far from the bustle of New York City, and Kevin spends, like, every waking minute he’s not performing leafing through wedding magazines. Nick thinks that should probably be more Danielle’s department, but this is Kevin they’re dealing with, after all.
Nick mentions Kevin’s newfound obsession on the phone with David one day, staring out across the London skyline from yet another hotel room. He smiles to himself as he idly recalls Joe’s completely serious question about whether it would be a security risk to sneak out and ride the Millennium Eye. David laughs and says “Your brother’s really funny!” and then “Wait, when in December?”
“The 19th?” Nick says questioningly, wondering why it matters.
“Hold… hold on a second,” David says in a strange voice, and Nick hears him put the phone down on some kind of hard surface. He comes back a few moments later, picking it up breathlessly before announcing, “Oh my gosh!”
“What?” Nick asks with a smile. The way David expresses himself will never stop being funny to him.
“I have a show that weekend! On Long Island! In, like, Westbury!” He pauses. “…Where’s Westbury? Is it near where your brother’s getting married? How long are you staying?”
“Uh… everywhere on Long Island is pretty near where my brother’s getting married,” Nick says truthfully. “It’s kind of in the middle, and Long Island’s not that big. We have the castle for the whole weekend, so we’re just kind of hanging out. Like, making a mini-vacation out of it.”
“Oh my goodness,” David exclaims. “We should see each other! I mean, if you want. If you have time and everything. Your brother’s getting married, so it’s okay if you can’t.”
Nick’s heart leaps in his chest. “I… jeez, David, of course I want to see you. Joe’s gonna be bummed that his movie partner left on his honeymoon, so I bet all we’ll be doing is watching, like, Mamma Mia in solidarity.”
“That sounds awesome,” David says sincerely, and Nick can’t stop smiling.
--
There’s a ridiculous snowstorm the weekend of the wedding, and the weather service warns everyone to stay off the roads because visibility is, like, one foot in front of people’s faces. Kevin spends much of Saturday evening stressing aloud about how many guests aren’t going to be able to make it. It’s very unlike him, but he’s not as even-keeled as usual on account of not being allowed to see Danielle because oh, right, they’re getting married tomorrow, which might also have something to do with it.
The third time Kevin snaps at them, Nick and Joe sit him down and make him promise to close his eyes while they cue up the first DVD they bought specially for tonight. It’s My Best Friend’s Wedding and Kevin almost cries just at the title. They’re all kind of sniffling by the credits, so Joe puts in My Big Fat Greek Wedding right after, and pretty soon the tears have turned to smiles. Joe cracks up so hard he falls on the floor at one point (“It’s a bundt, Nick!”) and Kevin’s face is red from laughing, and everything feels warm and nice.
--
They fall asleep in a big pile of Jonases, cuddled so close they take up only a fraction of the huge bed, and Nick almost jumps out of his skin the next morning when the hotel phone goes off with their wake-up call. His own phone chimes in a few seconds later, followed shortly by Kevin’s and lastly Joe’s, with the dumb Veronicas ringtone he got just to piss everyone off. Joe groans and lets out a sleepy merf, tugging a pillow over his head, but Nick raps him on the knuckles with a DVD case and says sternly, “Not today, Joseph.”
Joe gets up after that.
--
Danielle looks beautiful in a gauzy white dress that makes it seem like she’s floating on a cloud, a bejeweled silk flower in her hair. Kevin’s hand shakes when he slips the ring onto her finger. There’s this hushed silence when he does so, the whole congregation suspended in the moment like a dust mote on a sunbeam, and Nick feels his heartbeat thudding in his ears.
The couple exchange I dos and suddenly it’s real, they’re married, Nick’s brother is married, and it’s awesome and terrifying all at once.
--
The reception takes place on the castle grounds, in heated gazebos that shield them all from the weather. Everything is set up like a magical winter wonderland, taking Nick’s breath away. The cake is taller than he is, and everything’s white and draped with garlands. There are crystal icicles hanging off the fake trees, and the bridesmaids’ dresses are this rich navy blue that pops against the shimmering white backdrop. Nick’s best man speech is serious while Joe’s… is not so much, but people cry at both of them, so Nick supposes they each did something right.
But the best part of all is that Kevin looks so happy. He keeps calling Danielle his princess, holding hands with her under the table and gamely attempting to lead her around the dance floor despite having two left feet. Mostly, Nick is too caught up in the festivities to think about David as he watches his brother with his blushing bride, but there’s a sick, tight feeling in his chest that won’t let go no matter how hard he wills it.
It’s not that he wants to get married right now, not to anybody, but it makes Nick really sad that he and David won’t ever have the chance to get that far. He knows there are no guarantees they’d make it, but it’s the fact they can’t even try that gets him. Nick likes David, David likes him, and they’d be good together, he knows it. Nick’s a good boyfriend - he sends cards and sweet texts and flowers for the hell of it, and when he loves someone, he’ll bust his ass to make them smile. And he understands David’s reasons, he just… he hates that this is how it has to be.
--
It’s weird without Kevin. Nick has always been closer to Joe - closer in age, closer in everything - but in all they’ve done they’ve been together, just the three of them, and it feels sharply incongruous for Kevin to have set sail on this grand adventure of being married, leaving the two of them behind.
By the time they slip up to their room that night, un-tucking their dress shirts and collapsing fully clothed onto their beds, it’s past midnight. Nick closes his eyes for a brief second, and the next thing he knows, Joe is shaking him awake.
“Your friend is here,” Joe tells him in this singsong tone of voice that makes it abundantly clear who he’s talking about. Nick bolts upright to see David standing in the doorway, looking awkward and underdressed in a hoodie and jeans, so himself that it makes Nick’s heart hurt.
“Um, I can come back -” he begins, but Nick’s already launching himself at him, wrapping the other boy in a huge, warm hug.
“Don’t you dare,” Nick murmurs into his hair, feeling David shiver beneath him at the close contact. “Don’t you even dare.”
--
Joe, surprisingly enough, doesn’t go straight for Mamma Mia, which Nick dubiously gives him credit for. Instead, he sits on one of the beds and Nick sits on the other, and after a moment’s doubt, David perches gingerly on the edge of the latter.
“Sooo,” Joe begins, using the kind of tone that means mischief’s afoot. Nick experiences a brief moment of terror, eyes widening at his brother in a silent plea for discretion just once in Joe’s life, but Joe shakes his head slightly and winks at him. “You ever see Casablanca, David?”
David hasn’t.
--
To be fair, Nick’s never seen it either, but he kind of knows how the last scene goes because everybody does, right? It’s like, part of the collective human consciousness or something; Here’s looking at you, kid and all that. But an hour and a half in, David’s watching with the kind of awed concentration that makes it obvious he has no idea what’s about to happen, and where do Mormons come from anyway? Like... Jupiter?
“If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it,” Humphrey Bogart insists in his clipped, old-fashioned tone, a dark and rugged presence next to Ingrid Bergman’s small frame. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.”
“But what about us?” Ingrid asks, all breathy, the sheen of unshed tears glistening in her eyes. Nick tries to ignore Joe mouthing along with the lines.
“We’ll always have Paris.”
David makes a quiet hiccupping sound from his position at the end of the bed, hugging his knees to his chin, and Nick’s surprised to even notice given the fact that Joe is on the other bed completely falling apart. There’s a box of tissues next to him and Joe blows his nose into one, honking loudly, the tears unapologetically streaming down his cheeks. Nick raises an eyebrow and glances over at David to roll his eyes. David’s eyes are definitely a little shiny - not as shiny as Ingrid’s, but he’s getting there - so Nick looks back at the screen and pretends not to have noticed.
“When I said I would never leave you…” Ingrid begins.
“And you never will.”
David excuses himself to go to the bathroom and misses Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
--
Joe cries himself to sleep like two minutes later, so Nick ejects the DVD partway through the credits and pads softly towards the bathroom, the hotel carpet scratchy on his bare feet.
“David,” he says quietly, then pauses, then knocks. There’s a brief silence before the door opens with a click and David emerges, face pale and wet but not from tears.
“I was just… washing my face,” he explains thickly, the faint redness around his eyes suggesting there’s more to it than that.
“Okay,” Nick says anyway, deciding not to push it. “I’m gonna sleep with Joe so you can have a bed to yourself.”
David hesitates for a second before pulling the door closed behind him. “That’s fine.”
Nick kind of hovers over him as he clambers in, looking smaller and more fragile than usual in the enormous king-size bed. He pulls the crisp, white sheet up to his chin and it seems to Nick to swallow him up.
“Um…” he begins haltingly after Nick doesn’t immediately move, “are you sleeping now too?”
“Yeah,” Nick says abruptly, tearing himself away from thoughts of climbing in beside David and falling asleep with the other boy safely cocooned in his arms. “Yes. Goodnight.”
He turns to the other bed where Joe’s spread out like a starfish, mouth hanging ajar. Nick makes a face.
“C’mon, Joseph,” he says firmly, prodding at Joe’s hip. No response. “Joseph. Joe.” Nothing. Nick exhales, blowing a stray curl off his forehead in frustration. “Joseph Adam,” he persists, heaving at Joe’s side with both hands, “move over right now.”
“Mraaaaaagh,” is Joe’s only response. He twitches his nose and spreads his arms out even wider, so they’re almost touching either side of the bed.
Nick almost thinks he's doing this on purpose.
“For the love of…” Nick mutters. “I knew he shouldn’t have chosen today to try champagne.” He continues pushing at his brother, talking over his shoulder. “We don’t really drink - none of us do - so he doesn’t exactly have much of a tolerance.”
“I don’t either,” David says quietly. “Drink, I mean. I have no idea about my tolerance. You can… you can share with me, if you want.”
Nick stops pushing.
“Huh?” he asks intelligently, turning around to look at David. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You can share with me,” David repeats steadily, nary a quaver in his voice. “Just for tonight. Because Joe…”
“Okay,” Nick says instantly.
--
It’s awkward at first, the way David shuffles over to give Nick space, looking up at him with these big dark eyes. It’s like he’s doing this against his better judgment, as if part of him thinks Nick’s gonna, like… jump him or something, or maybe those are Nick’s own thoughts as he warns himself off. He wouldn’t try anything and he knows that, but he’s wanted this for so long, to touch David again, to hold him. He knows this is a fluke - the whole day was a one-off, this once-in-a-lifetime perfect dream that can never be relived. Kevin marrying his princess in a real winter wonderland, Nick falling asleep in a castle next to David Archuleta… neither is ever going to happen again, for better or worse.
Nick slips under the covers and, after several tentative seconds, pulls David close. David tenses for a moment and then relaxes in his arms.
--
Nick wakes up to Joe leaning over him, his brother’s smirking face taking up almost his entire line of vision. He jolts in surprise and Joe holds a finger to his lips, gesturing to Nick’s right. Nick frowns, his mind muzzy in his newly awoken state, but as soon as he turns his head enough to see the shock of dark hair on the pillow beside him, the memories of the previous night come flooding back. His arm is still splayed across David’s body and he cuddles David tighter on reflex, causing the other boy to murmur sleepily for a moment before drifting back into silent slumber.
Joe mimes something about going to get breakfast, and Nick buries his head in the crook of David’s shoulder and lets him leave.
--
David sleeps a little while longer and Nick just lies there curled against him, thoughts shifting from the bliss of having David’s body pressed against his own to the utter misery of knowing they’ll have to part when David awakes. He tries to push it out of his head and enjoy this while it lasts, but it lingers like a dark cloud, sad and ominous, brewing the inevitable rain.
David shifts and makes a whuffling sound in his throat. For a second, Nick feels as if all the cells in his body are holding their breath, just waiting to be pushed away, but then the other boy settles against his chest and Nick assumes he fell back to sleep. It isn’t until a few moments later when David’s long eyelashes flutter and he lets out a small yawn that Nick realizes with a jolting, sick feeling that this is all going to be over too soon. He steels himself against it, waiting for David to spring out of his arms, but the flurry of motion never comes.
“Good morning,” David says quietly, and Nick’s still holding his breath, confused. David looks up shyly, smiling with the soft sleepiness of someone who’s just reentered the conscious world.
“…Hi?” Nick manages finally, and a frown creases David’s forehead.
“What’s wrong?”
Nick feels silly suddenly. It’s not like they did anything, they just lay together, side by side, like Nick’s done with Joe a million times - but this is different, and they both know it.
“I think,” David begins uncertainly, like he’s guessed what’s running through Nick’s head. “I think… it’s okay. That… you know. I don’t think it’s bad. We didn’t - um. We just. Have to make sure we don’t...” He lowers his eyes. “Do anything more.”
“I know that,” Nick says softly, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. He’s not mad at David, not at all, but the God who says this is wrong, David’s God, his God too… Nick can’t help but be a little angry with Him. And it’s terrible, because that’s the same God who’s been watching over him and his brothers this whole time, who blessed them with their talents and their dad with enough business smarts to prevent them from being exploited. The same God who saw them through their van accident all those years ago and gave Joe the presence of mind to fling himself across his brother, saving Nick’s life.
But when it comes right down to it, Nick can’t believe this is wrong. He just can’t. It’s too… it’s too perfect.
--
They lie in silence for a while, holding each other and willing the time not to pass even as the numbers on the digital clock atop the nightstand relentlessly flip. Nick has to turn away eventually, because it’s just depressing him. When he hears Joe’s keycard slide in the door, his stomach drops. It’s ending, and although Nick’s been mentally preparing himself for this basically since the second it started, it still feels desperately too soon. He pulls David closer.
--
The worst part about leaving someone, or having someone leave you, is the sudden wrenching sense of loss right after they step out of the door. There’s an awful period of twenty, thirty seconds when all you want to do is run after them and drag them back, but then they’re too far away and the emptiness sets in in your chest, this yawning hole inside you that actually physically hurts.
Nick returns to the room after seeing David off and sits blankly on the bed, sheets strewn across it messily because neither of them wanted to get up until they absolutely had to and then there was a big rush to ensure David got ready on time. Joe (awfully tactfully, for him) excused himself right before David had to go, saying he was going to watch something with Frankie and fixing Nick with a strange, steady look as he invited him to “come by later; Cars is good.”
Nick knows that. Frankie’s watched it enough times on the bus for him to basically know the entire plot, even if he’s never sat down and paid attention to it from beginning to end. That’s not why Joe said what he did, though, and that’s something of which Nick’s quite aware. Joe knew he’d come back to the empty room, feel like his chest was caving in and not be able to handle it.
Well, Joe was right.
With great effort, Nick gets up from the bed and hauls himself to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water and take some deep breaths. No-one’s ever affected him like this before; he’s never so keenly felt a person’s absence. He thinks back to Miley - he must have, with her, but the whole thing seems blurred in his memory like a scene from a movie he saw long ago. And, speaking of movies, he should go and find Joe.
--
Frankie’s excited when he joins them, and Nick thinks he’s covering his emotions quite well until he notices Joe watching out of the corner of his eye. He attempts the fakest grin of his entire career, making every smile for the paparazzi seem radiant and genuine in comparison, then glances back at the movie and tries to look focused.
He stares at the screen until the credits start rolling, but doesn’t see anything at all.
--
So Nick’s usually a very patient person. He trained Elvis by himself - little things like sit and stay, right up to offering a paw and rolling over - and volunteered for the gargantuan task of helping Frankie understand fractions. Plus, he’s roomed with Joe in hotels for as long as anyone can remember, and if being around a hyperactive post-show Joseph Jonas doesn’t teach someone patience, Nick’s not sure what does.
Which is why it’s as much of a surprise to him as to anybody that not hearing from David right away is driving him so crazy. He doesn’t get this wrapped up in people. He just doesn’t. Even with Miley, if she didn’t text him for a little while, he got it. She was busy, he was busy, so it kind of worked out. But with David, the kid who’s not even properly with him, who won’t be, who can’t be… David’s the one who has him going nuts.
--
They’re at dinner when Joe finally says something about it. Nick’s phone vibrates for like the seventh time and, also for the seventh time, he jolts and rushes to check it.
“Just text first already,” Joe says under his breath from the adjacent seat, and Nick doesn’t think anyone caught it but then Frankie looks up curiously and his stomach sinks.
“Who are you texting, Nicky? Do you have a giiirlfriiiend?”
Nick smiles tightly. “Nah. It’s just Chelsea.”
He flips the phone around to show Frank the unopened message, thanking his lucky stars that it was her and no-one awkward. Frankie knows her boyfriend from cast parties and hangouts on set, so he’s not likely to make kissy noises or sing about Nick and Chelsea sitting in a tree anytime soon.
Nick glances back over at Joe, and Joe makes a face. Well, at least the girlfriend part was true.
--
David does end up texting, not long after his plane touches down in Utah. His Back home safe! haha makes something inside Nick’s chest tighten and shatter into a million pieces. It seems ages since the Philippines - so much has happened in their careers, their lives, their relationship with each other - but Nick thinks back to the night he told David he missed him, how the meaning behind his words went right over David’s head. It wouldn’t this time.
He does it anyway.
--
There’s a long, long pause after he sends the text, and he’s not sure what to make of it. It’s not uncommon for David to wander off or space out and not reply immediately, but this feels more like a pointed silence, like maybe he doesn’t know what to say in response. Either that or Nick’s being paranoid.
Me too is the eventual reply, and Nick’s still kind of processing that when a second one comes through: I mean you, not me. I don’t miss myself, lol. I’m always around me. Nick shakes his head and responds Duh, all sassy, followed by a hopeful We should see each other again soon.
All right, comes the almost immediate response. I’d like that.
--
Christmas is awesome this year. Joe gets Nick a gray sweater and a pair of fuzzy dice for his rearview mirror, while Nick gets Joe a blender because his new place doesn’t have one yet and Nick is, like, the smoothie king, so that just won’t do. Kevin and Danielle bring back stuff for everyone from Mexico, and all four kids - as usual - get gift cards from their parents: iTunes for Nick, GameStop for Frankie, and home appliances and furniture stores for Kevin and Joe. Frankie even gives his own gifts this year rather than adding his name to his parents’, so everyone receives a lovely reminder of the tie-dying debacle of the previous month, during which Frankie ruined two tablecloths in four days in order to produce a set of blotchy T-shirts that are mostly muddy brown in color but nevertheless appreciated.
Their mom’s gravy turns out really well and their dad falls asleep in front of the TV before it’s even dark outside, and Frank flakes out around eight because he’s been bouncing off the walls since five in the morning. Danielle helps Denise with the dishes while Frankie’s older brothers retreat to the studio space set up in the basement and strum casually on their guitars for a while. They’re writing but not seriously, so Nick doesn’t mind when Joe grabs Kevin’s guitar and starts doing his Avril impersonation, and Kevin laughs so hard he almost kicks over his mug of eggnog.
Not long after that, Kevin goes off with Danielle and Joe ambles upstairs to rouse their father and settle down to watch some late-night TV. “Don’t stay down here too long, Nicky,” he calls over his shoulder as he ascends, and Nick plucks out a couple of Costello ballads before rising to grab his phone and go to bed. The new message icon is lit up, and Nick taps it as he starts up the staircase. It’s from David, a simple Merry Christmas with a little smiley face.
--
Nick’s in Boston with the Administration when he finds out about the earthquake. He gets on Twitter after the show and that’s when he sees the trending topics, Haiti and Port-au-Prince and 7.0 magnitude, and something inside him goes Uh-oh. David tweeted about it too, of course. He’s so into this Twitter thing, and Nick’s learning but he has a way to go. By now they’re back to texting each other multiple times a day and sometimes David will mention a TwitPic or a Twitter party, and Nick will be like “What?” and David will explain. They don’t follow each other, but Nick lurks his page once in a while.
He calls Joe from his hotel room as soon as he sees Twitter, and they both turn on CNN, Joe sporadically punctuating the silence with a somber “Wow” or a “Ho-ly…” When they’re invited to help man the phones for the Hope for Haiti Now telethon, all three Jonas Brothers jump at the chance.
--
Nick wonders if there’s a point where even though you’re not formally with someone, you actually kind of are in a sense, based on the amount of time you spend talking and laughing and generally being into each other. If there is, he thinks, he and David have definitely reached it. There’s nothing about this that isn’t a relationship, except for the fact that they can’t be physical with each other or ever acknowledge it, but it’s there - Nick can feel it. At first he thought the undercurrent was just his imagination, but it isn’t, it really isn’t. It’s there in the softening of David’s voice when he picks up the phone to find Nick on the line, the way Nick’s pulse jumps when he hears David’s ringtone, the good morning texts he sends David to wake up to. They’re tender with each other, loving quietly without expressing it, and Nick realizes that somewhere along the road he’s begun to treat David as he would a girlfriend - softly, with sensitivity and kind of a protective streak. One time, he apologizes for it, because it’s getting kind of ridiculous, but David just goes quiet for a second before saying, “Don’t stop; I like it.”
Well. Well, okay.
--
Nick knows David will be back in L.A. later in the month to work on more songwriting, but when he gets the text about David doing Hope for Haiti too, he almost keels over. There’s, like, a date now, something tangible, something he can - as lame as it sounds - count down to, and Nick really can’t wait. He’s on a tight schedule that week, with the telethon sandwiched between a Thursday show in Minneapolis and a Saturday show in Denver, but he’ll get to spend the night at home before his morning flight and now he’ll see David too and it’s just… oh, it’s awesome.
--
So the number of famous faces at this thing is kind of ridiculous. Nick would almost think he were at Madame Tussaud’s or something, but for the fact that these celebrities are living, breathing beings. There’s George Clooney over in one corner, near Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake, and Leonardo DiCaprio is sipping white wine and chatting with Reese Witherspoon. There are a lot of people he’s friends with too - Kevin goes straight to Zac and Vanessa, while Joe fist-bumps Common and tries desperately to stay as far away from Taylor as possible. Nick would like to say hey to Selena, but she’s sticking to Taylor like glue and he doesn’t particularly feel like dealing with that brand of crazy in such close quarters. He looks around for someone he knows personally, and it takes a second to register that way over the other side of the room, wearing plaid and hanging out near the fruit platter, is David Archuleta.
Nick gets this crazy sense of déjà vu as he wades through the gaggle of famous faces, and he can’t help but think back to the first time they met, when David walked in and lit up the room before making his way over to sit at Nick’s side.
“Archuleta,” Nick calls when he’s sure he’s within hearing distance, and David glances up with his deer-in-the-headlights expression before catching sight of Nick and breaking into a huge, gorgeous, genuine smile.
Nick’s usually kind of shy about his own smile, but with David, he can’t help but grin back. He opens his arms to give a very manly pat on the back, which sort of turns into a squeeze.
“It’s good to see you,” Nick says quietly, and David beams.
--
What follows is essentially two hours of organized chaos, with phones ringing off the hook. The first caller Nick gets is an older woman who has no idea who he is, but he talks to her briefly about how important her donation is and she seems impressed with his professionalism, saying “Thank you, dear” before she hangs up - which isn’t to say he doesn’t fulfill his quota of screaming girls as the night progresses, but it’s a nice, low-key way to start off.
They’re offered breaks but nobody really takes them; there’s a cool atmosphere inside the studio that makes everyone feel like they’re actually making a difference, so most remain at their stations for the whole event. Quite a few even stay afterwards, including Nick, Joe, Kevin, and David, and Nick spies Taylor over at the other end of the phone bank and feels kind of bad about not talking to her earlier. Nick and his brothers don’t put their phones down until eight - almost an hour later than scheduled - and there’s talk about going out before the three of them decide they’d really rather go home and watch a movie, especially with Nick’s early flight the next day.
David is in the row above Nick’s, wrapping up his last phone call as the people around him rise and pack up. Nick turns to look in what he thinks is a surreptitious manner until Joe elbows him and tells him “Go” under his breath, so he obliges.
“Heyyy,” David says warmly as Nick approaches, and Nick grins reflexively as David’s hazel eyes meet his. He plays with his dogtag as David watches, expectant, before finally asking as casually as he can if David would like to join them. The answer is a resounding yes.
--
Nick kind of hoped some of the paps would be gone if they got out late, but he has no such luck. There’s a whole horde of them, more than even he’s used to, because there were a lot of big name stars in one place tonight. It feels like every photographer in Hollywood is calling his name.
He grabs David’s arm and David jumps a little but shrinks closer, allowing himself to be shepherded towards the waiting car. Nick and David slide into the back seat with Kevin riding shotgun and Joe at the wheel, and they inch out slowly, half blinded by camera flashes. David fiddles with his phone self-consciously, and Nick squeezes his hand.
--
They decide on Titanic for two reasons: firstly, they all kind of geeked out over being in such close proximity to Leo earlier, and secondly because David’s never seen it. Kevin actually goes white when he finds this out, protesting weakly, “But… it’s Titanic.” Apparently David heard Kate Winslet went topless and avoided it at all costs.
“I’ll cover your eyes during that part,” Nick promises, and Joe kind of snickers while Kevin smiles vaguely, oblivious.
--
One hour in, and David’s so engrossed that it’s kind of adorable. Nick looks at him sidelong - really looks at him, taking him all in. He’s made up of so many delightful components, and Nick takes the time to appreciate every single one. The slight upward quirk of his lips, strangely representative of his perpetual optimism and gentle, amused outlook. The beauty mark at the left tip of his jaw bone, hidden just under his ear. The sparkly, expressive eyes that crinkle at the edges.
David blinks, sensing he’s being watched, then tilts his head and gazes steadily back for a few seconds. There’s a flicker of uncertainty between them, of chemistry realized but not acknowledged, and David looks mildly terrified that all one of them has to do is give in. His breath stutters, catching in his throat, but Nick just smiles, letting the moment shimmer and eventually dissipate. It’s not right, that things have to be this way, but Nick knows he’d rather have David in this capacity than not at all.
David swallows and gives Nick a real smile that reaches his eyes.
---<---<---@
Author: that_1_incident
Fandom: American Idol/Jonas Brothers
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Religious angst.
Pairing: David Archuleta/Nick Jonas
Word Count: ~27,500
Dedication: For Makinsey.
Summary: Nick Jonas is straight. Very much so. And David Archuleta’s Mormon, so… he sort of has to be. But when the two meet backstage at the 2008 Teen Choice Awards, they lay the foundation for an enduring connection that neither of them expects.
Disclaimer: Although 95% of this is accurate in terms of who was where on a particular date, the story itself is fiction. Title is a lyric from the Jonas Brothers song "Be Mine."
Author's Notes: See Part One.
Part One.
Part Two.
---<---<---@
David’s due to leave the next day, early in the morning, and Nick wants to take him to the airport but he’s needed on set. He has to do this dumb kissing scene with Chloe and, God, it’s just the worst day for it. He lies in bed and stares at the ceiling as he listens to the click of David’s door, the soft thunk of his backpack hitting the floor outside.
Nick’s halfway across the room before he even hears the knock, drawing back the bolt before David’s whispered “Nick, are you awake?” has finished falling from his lips.
Nick pulls the door open and they stand there looking at each other for a moment. David’s wearing his Elvis shirt - Presley, not Costello - and Nick thinks he’s probably really lucky that Selena still has his Costello one or he’d be tempted to do something dumb like give it to David to even out his Elvis count.
“Um,” David begins when he realizes Nick isn’t going to say anything. He looks around the deserted hallway before leaning forward and pressing his lips to Nick’s. It’s kind of doing a number on Nick, all these supposed last kisses, but he guesses this must really be it this time because David’s actually leaving.
It’s not a kiss as much as a need for contact, and Nick eases David’s head onto his shoulder and holds him afterwards, steadying David’s body with a palm on the small of his back. David nuzzles Nick’s neck with his nose, the unspoken sentiment coming through loud and clear, and Nick returns it by smoothing David’s hair. By the time they break apart, David’s eyes look suspiciously shiny, but Nick can barely see them through the salty sheen in his own. He squeezes David’s arm and David smiles at him, so sweet, so open, yet tinged with unbelievable sadness. Nick thinks he manages to smile back before David leans down to hoist his backpack over his shoulder and, with a final look at Nick, starts to walk away.
Nick doesn’t go after him. He wonders if David wishes he would.
--
The kissing scene is just awful. It really is the absolute last thing Nick wants to do, and despite his best efforts, he’s pretty sure that shows. Eventually, Paul, the director, tells them all to take five and pulls Nick aside, advising him to think of someone he actually wants to make out with. Nick wonders what his father would think of such a tactic, but he nods and smiles and says “No problem, sir!” with the intention of doing just the opposite.
But Paul’s words stick in his mind during the next take, as much as he wants to banish them. Chloe’s cute - really pretty, with pouty lips and soft skin - and if he closes his eyes, the part of him that wants her to be David badly enough to ignore the incongruities takes over.
“Cut!” Paul yells, striding over to give Nick a high five and a wink. “That’s a wrap!”
Nick wonders what the people at Disney would think if they knew he was picturing a guy.
--
So the emotional fallout from the David thing definitely sucks, and Nick’s not gonna pretend otherwise. Joe and Kevin are sharing a room because they’re weird (and like to watch movies until they fall asleep on each other), but that night, Joe slips out to check on him when Kevin zonks out halfway through Sleepless in Seattle. Nick lets him in and looks at him and he just knows, Nick can tell.
“I’m… really sorry,” Joe says awkwardly, then shakes his head and says, “Aw, bro, c’mere.”
Nick hugs his brother tightly and wills himself not to cry, and if that doesn’t entirely work then, hey, it’s their secret.
--
David calls late the next night but Nick’s not sleeping, just lying in bed and wishing he were. He must sound a little groggy when he answers because David exclaims, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I forgot about the time difference, go back to sleep!” and apologizes five more times before Nick manages to shush him, telling him it’s truly fine.
“How was your awards show?” Nick asks after that, assuming they’re going to fall right back into their regular pattern of not acknowledging the elephant in the room.
“It was really good,” David says quietly. “Um. I won This Year in Music’s Male Rising Star.”
Nick breaks into a grin. “Wait, really? That’s awesome, dude. Congratulations!”
David sounds so shy and gratified when he thanks Nick, like it means so much to him, like he never expected any of it, and it reminds Nick of the times Simon Cowell used to pay him compliments on Idol back in the day. They chat about the ALMAs for a while, how Shakira was there but not wearing a lot (which was super embarrassing because David’s date was his mom), and how Eva Longoria cornered David backstage and got about five different pictures with him. Nick finds that pretty ironic because Chloe used to be on Desperate Housewives, which he only knows because Kevin is, like, addicted to it. After that, David gets pretty quiet, and Nick’s wondering if he should say he needs to get some sleep just for an excuse to end the conversation when David says, “Um, I talked to my mom.”
“…Okay?” Nick says questioningly, because if they spent all evening together, Nick sort of expected them to converse at least a little, but then David clarifies, “About us.”
Oh. Oh.
Nick can’t even breathe right now, let alone formulate words, so he waits for David to continue.
“She’s just. Um. She’s not like my dad, she’s… she gets stuff. And we’re really close, and she knew something was wrong, and I just. I didn’t wanna keep it from her anymore. You know?”
Nick understands that. He remembers what happened when Joe found out, how terrifying it was at first, but that a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders by the mere fact that someone knew and didn’t hate him for it.
“What did she say?”
“She said she kind of knew.”
--
Lupe sounds like a smart woman. Nick doesn’t really know her - he’s only met her once, at the show in Del Mar - but he remembers liking her in an abstract kind of way. Apparently she’d suspected something right from when she saw them hug that time, before anything had even happened, but waited for David to come to her rather than confronting him.
“So, uh… do you have to stop doing that whole sacrament thing now? And, like, the priest… whatever?”
“Using the priesthood,” David laughs, and Nick smiles in spite of himself. He loves that sound. “Um, well, I talked to my mom about that, and she said it was up to me. Because, like, I told her what I told you, and I basically made the decision by myself that it’s not going to happen again and I’m going to stick to that, so. She says as long as I talk to God about it and stay firm with myself, I shouldn’t have to do any of that stuff. She’s, um. She’s kind of progressive, my mom. Not, like, a lot or anything, and she still believes in all the teachings, just… I guess she doesn’t agree with the part where you get publicly shamed for something, you know? In front of everyone. She says that stuff should stay between you and God.”
Nick’s nodding slowly even though David can’t see him. “That makes a lot of sense,” he says finally. He’s glad David sounds so at peace with it now, despite everything. Like, he could’ve got really messed up over this and Nick’s glad he didn’t, even though he wishes things between them could’ve gone differently.
“My mom really likes you,” David says suddenly, and Nick laughs wonderingly. “She said it was really strong of you to...” He trails off before continuing shyly, “Slow things down that time. You know? She said you’re a good person.”
“…Tell her thanks,” Nick says after a beat, trying not to sound too choked up. He’s happy David’s happy. Now he just has to work on himself.
--
It’s weird how fast their relationship snaps back into place. There’s surprisingly little tension and they talk as easily as they always did, but there’s this crackling undercurrent beneath every conversation and Nick wonders if David’s aware of it. It’s hard to put into words, but that doesn’t make it any less tangible.
They finish shooting Camp Rock 2, and then the Bounce video comes out (Nick sends David the link and gets a text back saying what with no punctuation), and Nick and his brothers fly to South America while David goes off to Nashville to write songs. David’s Christmas album drops and Nick gets up to Ave Maria and like, falls over, which David thinks is really funny (“Um, it’s not that amazing, but… thank you?”). Then the Jonas Brothers go to Europe and David starts his U.S. Christmas tour, so they never really know which time zone the other is in, but they try to make it work anyway.
And when Nick’s curled in his hotel bed in Turin, coughing and wheezing and feeling absolutely awful about canceling the show in Zurich, it’s Joe and Kevin who climb in beside him, channel-surfing until they find Gone With the Wind dubbed in Italian, but it’s David who keeps texting, right up until the second he goes onstage.
--
So Kevin’s getting married in December, which is completely crazy but totally awesome. Kevin’s really excited about it, and he and Danielle are so in love, and Nick knows they’re going to make it even if a bunch of tabloids are calling it his “starter marriage.” The wedding will be held at Oheka Castle on Long Island, this beautiful fairytale escape not far from the bustle of New York City, and Kevin spends, like, every waking minute he’s not performing leafing through wedding magazines. Nick thinks that should probably be more Danielle’s department, but this is Kevin they’re dealing with, after all.
Nick mentions Kevin’s newfound obsession on the phone with David one day, staring out across the London skyline from yet another hotel room. He smiles to himself as he idly recalls Joe’s completely serious question about whether it would be a security risk to sneak out and ride the Millennium Eye. David laughs and says “Your brother’s really funny!” and then “Wait, when in December?”
“The 19th?” Nick says questioningly, wondering why it matters.
“Hold… hold on a second,” David says in a strange voice, and Nick hears him put the phone down on some kind of hard surface. He comes back a few moments later, picking it up breathlessly before announcing, “Oh my gosh!”
“What?” Nick asks with a smile. The way David expresses himself will never stop being funny to him.
“I have a show that weekend! On Long Island! In, like, Westbury!” He pauses. “…Where’s Westbury? Is it near where your brother’s getting married? How long are you staying?”
“Uh… everywhere on Long Island is pretty near where my brother’s getting married,” Nick says truthfully. “It’s kind of in the middle, and Long Island’s not that big. We have the castle for the whole weekend, so we’re just kind of hanging out. Like, making a mini-vacation out of it.”
“Oh my goodness,” David exclaims. “We should see each other! I mean, if you want. If you have time and everything. Your brother’s getting married, so it’s okay if you can’t.”
Nick’s heart leaps in his chest. “I… jeez, David, of course I want to see you. Joe’s gonna be bummed that his movie partner left on his honeymoon, so I bet all we’ll be doing is watching, like, Mamma Mia in solidarity.”
“That sounds awesome,” David says sincerely, and Nick can’t stop smiling.
--
There’s a ridiculous snowstorm the weekend of the wedding, and the weather service warns everyone to stay off the roads because visibility is, like, one foot in front of people’s faces. Kevin spends much of Saturday evening stressing aloud about how many guests aren’t going to be able to make it. It’s very unlike him, but he’s not as even-keeled as usual on account of not being allowed to see Danielle because oh, right, they’re getting married tomorrow, which might also have something to do with it.
The third time Kevin snaps at them, Nick and Joe sit him down and make him promise to close his eyes while they cue up the first DVD they bought specially for tonight. It’s My Best Friend’s Wedding and Kevin almost cries just at the title. They’re all kind of sniffling by the credits, so Joe puts in My Big Fat Greek Wedding right after, and pretty soon the tears have turned to smiles. Joe cracks up so hard he falls on the floor at one point (“It’s a bundt, Nick!”) and Kevin’s face is red from laughing, and everything feels warm and nice.
--
They fall asleep in a big pile of Jonases, cuddled so close they take up only a fraction of the huge bed, and Nick almost jumps out of his skin the next morning when the hotel phone goes off with their wake-up call. His own phone chimes in a few seconds later, followed shortly by Kevin’s and lastly Joe’s, with the dumb Veronicas ringtone he got just to piss everyone off. Joe groans and lets out a sleepy merf, tugging a pillow over his head, but Nick raps him on the knuckles with a DVD case and says sternly, “Not today, Joseph.”
Joe gets up after that.
--
Danielle looks beautiful in a gauzy white dress that makes it seem like she’s floating on a cloud, a bejeweled silk flower in her hair. Kevin’s hand shakes when he slips the ring onto her finger. There’s this hushed silence when he does so, the whole congregation suspended in the moment like a dust mote on a sunbeam, and Nick feels his heartbeat thudding in his ears.
The couple exchange I dos and suddenly it’s real, they’re married, Nick’s brother is married, and it’s awesome and terrifying all at once.
--
The reception takes place on the castle grounds, in heated gazebos that shield them all from the weather. Everything is set up like a magical winter wonderland, taking Nick’s breath away. The cake is taller than he is, and everything’s white and draped with garlands. There are crystal icicles hanging off the fake trees, and the bridesmaids’ dresses are this rich navy blue that pops against the shimmering white backdrop. Nick’s best man speech is serious while Joe’s… is not so much, but people cry at both of them, so Nick supposes they each did something right.
But the best part of all is that Kevin looks so happy. He keeps calling Danielle his princess, holding hands with her under the table and gamely attempting to lead her around the dance floor despite having two left feet. Mostly, Nick is too caught up in the festivities to think about David as he watches his brother with his blushing bride, but there’s a sick, tight feeling in his chest that won’t let go no matter how hard he wills it.
It’s not that he wants to get married right now, not to anybody, but it makes Nick really sad that he and David won’t ever have the chance to get that far. He knows there are no guarantees they’d make it, but it’s the fact they can’t even try that gets him. Nick likes David, David likes him, and they’d be good together, he knows it. Nick’s a good boyfriend - he sends cards and sweet texts and flowers for the hell of it, and when he loves someone, he’ll bust his ass to make them smile. And he understands David’s reasons, he just… he hates that this is how it has to be.
--
It’s weird without Kevin. Nick has always been closer to Joe - closer in age, closer in everything - but in all they’ve done they’ve been together, just the three of them, and it feels sharply incongruous for Kevin to have set sail on this grand adventure of being married, leaving the two of them behind.
By the time they slip up to their room that night, un-tucking their dress shirts and collapsing fully clothed onto their beds, it’s past midnight. Nick closes his eyes for a brief second, and the next thing he knows, Joe is shaking him awake.
“Your friend is here,” Joe tells him in this singsong tone of voice that makes it abundantly clear who he’s talking about. Nick bolts upright to see David standing in the doorway, looking awkward and underdressed in a hoodie and jeans, so himself that it makes Nick’s heart hurt.
“Um, I can come back -” he begins, but Nick’s already launching himself at him, wrapping the other boy in a huge, warm hug.
“Don’t you dare,” Nick murmurs into his hair, feeling David shiver beneath him at the close contact. “Don’t you even dare.”
--
Joe, surprisingly enough, doesn’t go straight for Mamma Mia, which Nick dubiously gives him credit for. Instead, he sits on one of the beds and Nick sits on the other, and after a moment’s doubt, David perches gingerly on the edge of the latter.
“Sooo,” Joe begins, using the kind of tone that means mischief’s afoot. Nick experiences a brief moment of terror, eyes widening at his brother in a silent plea for discretion just once in Joe’s life, but Joe shakes his head slightly and winks at him. “You ever see Casablanca, David?”
David hasn’t.
--
To be fair, Nick’s never seen it either, but he kind of knows how the last scene goes because everybody does, right? It’s like, part of the collective human consciousness or something; Here’s looking at you, kid and all that. But an hour and a half in, David’s watching with the kind of awed concentration that makes it obvious he has no idea what’s about to happen, and where do Mormons come from anyway? Like... Jupiter?
“If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it,” Humphrey Bogart insists in his clipped, old-fashioned tone, a dark and rugged presence next to Ingrid Bergman’s small frame. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.”
“But what about us?” Ingrid asks, all breathy, the sheen of unshed tears glistening in her eyes. Nick tries to ignore Joe mouthing along with the lines.
“We’ll always have Paris.”
David makes a quiet hiccupping sound from his position at the end of the bed, hugging his knees to his chin, and Nick’s surprised to even notice given the fact that Joe is on the other bed completely falling apart. There’s a box of tissues next to him and Joe blows his nose into one, honking loudly, the tears unapologetically streaming down his cheeks. Nick raises an eyebrow and glances over at David to roll his eyes. David’s eyes are definitely a little shiny - not as shiny as Ingrid’s, but he’s getting there - so Nick looks back at the screen and pretends not to have noticed.
“When I said I would never leave you…” Ingrid begins.
“And you never will.”
David excuses himself to go to the bathroom and misses Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
--
Joe cries himself to sleep like two minutes later, so Nick ejects the DVD partway through the credits and pads softly towards the bathroom, the hotel carpet scratchy on his bare feet.
“David,” he says quietly, then pauses, then knocks. There’s a brief silence before the door opens with a click and David emerges, face pale and wet but not from tears.
“I was just… washing my face,” he explains thickly, the faint redness around his eyes suggesting there’s more to it than that.
“Okay,” Nick says anyway, deciding not to push it. “I’m gonna sleep with Joe so you can have a bed to yourself.”
David hesitates for a second before pulling the door closed behind him. “That’s fine.”
Nick kind of hovers over him as he clambers in, looking smaller and more fragile than usual in the enormous king-size bed. He pulls the crisp, white sheet up to his chin and it seems to Nick to swallow him up.
“Um…” he begins haltingly after Nick doesn’t immediately move, “are you sleeping now too?”
“Yeah,” Nick says abruptly, tearing himself away from thoughts of climbing in beside David and falling asleep with the other boy safely cocooned in his arms. “Yes. Goodnight.”
He turns to the other bed where Joe’s spread out like a starfish, mouth hanging ajar. Nick makes a face.
“C’mon, Joseph,” he says firmly, prodding at Joe’s hip. No response. “Joseph. Joe.” Nothing. Nick exhales, blowing a stray curl off his forehead in frustration. “Joseph Adam,” he persists, heaving at Joe’s side with both hands, “move over right now.”
“Mraaaaaagh,” is Joe’s only response. He twitches his nose and spreads his arms out even wider, so they’re almost touching either side of the bed.
Nick almost thinks he's doing this on purpose.
“For the love of…” Nick mutters. “I knew he shouldn’t have chosen today to try champagne.” He continues pushing at his brother, talking over his shoulder. “We don’t really drink - none of us do - so he doesn’t exactly have much of a tolerance.”
“I don’t either,” David says quietly. “Drink, I mean. I have no idea about my tolerance. You can… you can share with me, if you want.”
Nick stops pushing.
“Huh?” he asks intelligently, turning around to look at David. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You can share with me,” David repeats steadily, nary a quaver in his voice. “Just for tonight. Because Joe…”
“Okay,” Nick says instantly.
--
It’s awkward at first, the way David shuffles over to give Nick space, looking up at him with these big dark eyes. It’s like he’s doing this against his better judgment, as if part of him thinks Nick’s gonna, like… jump him or something, or maybe those are Nick’s own thoughts as he warns himself off. He wouldn’t try anything and he knows that, but he’s wanted this for so long, to touch David again, to hold him. He knows this is a fluke - the whole day was a one-off, this once-in-a-lifetime perfect dream that can never be relived. Kevin marrying his princess in a real winter wonderland, Nick falling asleep in a castle next to David Archuleta… neither is ever going to happen again, for better or worse.
Nick slips under the covers and, after several tentative seconds, pulls David close. David tenses for a moment and then relaxes in his arms.
--
Nick wakes up to Joe leaning over him, his brother’s smirking face taking up almost his entire line of vision. He jolts in surprise and Joe holds a finger to his lips, gesturing to Nick’s right. Nick frowns, his mind muzzy in his newly awoken state, but as soon as he turns his head enough to see the shock of dark hair on the pillow beside him, the memories of the previous night come flooding back. His arm is still splayed across David’s body and he cuddles David tighter on reflex, causing the other boy to murmur sleepily for a moment before drifting back into silent slumber.
Joe mimes something about going to get breakfast, and Nick buries his head in the crook of David’s shoulder and lets him leave.
--
David sleeps a little while longer and Nick just lies there curled against him, thoughts shifting from the bliss of having David’s body pressed against his own to the utter misery of knowing they’ll have to part when David awakes. He tries to push it out of his head and enjoy this while it lasts, but it lingers like a dark cloud, sad and ominous, brewing the inevitable rain.
David shifts and makes a whuffling sound in his throat. For a second, Nick feels as if all the cells in his body are holding their breath, just waiting to be pushed away, but then the other boy settles against his chest and Nick assumes he fell back to sleep. It isn’t until a few moments later when David’s long eyelashes flutter and he lets out a small yawn that Nick realizes with a jolting, sick feeling that this is all going to be over too soon. He steels himself against it, waiting for David to spring out of his arms, but the flurry of motion never comes.
“Good morning,” David says quietly, and Nick’s still holding his breath, confused. David looks up shyly, smiling with the soft sleepiness of someone who’s just reentered the conscious world.
“…Hi?” Nick manages finally, and a frown creases David’s forehead.
“What’s wrong?”
Nick feels silly suddenly. It’s not like they did anything, they just lay together, side by side, like Nick’s done with Joe a million times - but this is different, and they both know it.
“I think,” David begins uncertainly, like he’s guessed what’s running through Nick’s head. “I think… it’s okay. That… you know. I don’t think it’s bad. We didn’t - um. We just. Have to make sure we don’t...” He lowers his eyes. “Do anything more.”
“I know that,” Nick says softly, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. He’s not mad at David, not at all, but the God who says this is wrong, David’s God, his God too… Nick can’t help but be a little angry with Him. And it’s terrible, because that’s the same God who’s been watching over him and his brothers this whole time, who blessed them with their talents and their dad with enough business smarts to prevent them from being exploited. The same God who saw them through their van accident all those years ago and gave Joe the presence of mind to fling himself across his brother, saving Nick’s life.
But when it comes right down to it, Nick can’t believe this is wrong. He just can’t. It’s too… it’s too perfect.
--
They lie in silence for a while, holding each other and willing the time not to pass even as the numbers on the digital clock atop the nightstand relentlessly flip. Nick has to turn away eventually, because it’s just depressing him. When he hears Joe’s keycard slide in the door, his stomach drops. It’s ending, and although Nick’s been mentally preparing himself for this basically since the second it started, it still feels desperately too soon. He pulls David closer.
--
The worst part about leaving someone, or having someone leave you, is the sudden wrenching sense of loss right after they step out of the door. There’s an awful period of twenty, thirty seconds when all you want to do is run after them and drag them back, but then they’re too far away and the emptiness sets in in your chest, this yawning hole inside you that actually physically hurts.
Nick returns to the room after seeing David off and sits blankly on the bed, sheets strewn across it messily because neither of them wanted to get up until they absolutely had to and then there was a big rush to ensure David got ready on time. Joe (awfully tactfully, for him) excused himself right before David had to go, saying he was going to watch something with Frankie and fixing Nick with a strange, steady look as he invited him to “come by later; Cars is good.”
Nick knows that. Frankie’s watched it enough times on the bus for him to basically know the entire plot, even if he’s never sat down and paid attention to it from beginning to end. That’s not why Joe said what he did, though, and that’s something of which Nick’s quite aware. Joe knew he’d come back to the empty room, feel like his chest was caving in and not be able to handle it.
Well, Joe was right.
With great effort, Nick gets up from the bed and hauls himself to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water and take some deep breaths. No-one’s ever affected him like this before; he’s never so keenly felt a person’s absence. He thinks back to Miley - he must have, with her, but the whole thing seems blurred in his memory like a scene from a movie he saw long ago. And, speaking of movies, he should go and find Joe.
--
Frankie’s excited when he joins them, and Nick thinks he’s covering his emotions quite well until he notices Joe watching out of the corner of his eye. He attempts the fakest grin of his entire career, making every smile for the paparazzi seem radiant and genuine in comparison, then glances back at the movie and tries to look focused.
He stares at the screen until the credits start rolling, but doesn’t see anything at all.
--
So Nick’s usually a very patient person. He trained Elvis by himself - little things like sit and stay, right up to offering a paw and rolling over - and volunteered for the gargantuan task of helping Frankie understand fractions. Plus, he’s roomed with Joe in hotels for as long as anyone can remember, and if being around a hyperactive post-show Joseph Jonas doesn’t teach someone patience, Nick’s not sure what does.
Which is why it’s as much of a surprise to him as to anybody that not hearing from David right away is driving him so crazy. He doesn’t get this wrapped up in people. He just doesn’t. Even with Miley, if she didn’t text him for a little while, he got it. She was busy, he was busy, so it kind of worked out. But with David, the kid who’s not even properly with him, who won’t be, who can’t be… David’s the one who has him going nuts.
--
They’re at dinner when Joe finally says something about it. Nick’s phone vibrates for like the seventh time and, also for the seventh time, he jolts and rushes to check it.
“Just text first already,” Joe says under his breath from the adjacent seat, and Nick doesn’t think anyone caught it but then Frankie looks up curiously and his stomach sinks.
“Who are you texting, Nicky? Do you have a giiirlfriiiend?”
Nick smiles tightly. “Nah. It’s just Chelsea.”
He flips the phone around to show Frank the unopened message, thanking his lucky stars that it was her and no-one awkward. Frankie knows her boyfriend from cast parties and hangouts on set, so he’s not likely to make kissy noises or sing about Nick and Chelsea sitting in a tree anytime soon.
Nick glances back over at Joe, and Joe makes a face. Well, at least the girlfriend part was true.
--
David does end up texting, not long after his plane touches down in Utah. His Back home safe! haha makes something inside Nick’s chest tighten and shatter into a million pieces. It seems ages since the Philippines - so much has happened in their careers, their lives, their relationship with each other - but Nick thinks back to the night he told David he missed him, how the meaning behind his words went right over David’s head. It wouldn’t this time.
He does it anyway.
--
There’s a long, long pause after he sends the text, and he’s not sure what to make of it. It’s not uncommon for David to wander off or space out and not reply immediately, but this feels more like a pointed silence, like maybe he doesn’t know what to say in response. Either that or Nick’s being paranoid.
Me too is the eventual reply, and Nick’s still kind of processing that when a second one comes through: I mean you, not me. I don’t miss myself, lol. I’m always around me. Nick shakes his head and responds Duh, all sassy, followed by a hopeful We should see each other again soon.
All right, comes the almost immediate response. I’d like that.
--
Christmas is awesome this year. Joe gets Nick a gray sweater and a pair of fuzzy dice for his rearview mirror, while Nick gets Joe a blender because his new place doesn’t have one yet and Nick is, like, the smoothie king, so that just won’t do. Kevin and Danielle bring back stuff for everyone from Mexico, and all four kids - as usual - get gift cards from their parents: iTunes for Nick, GameStop for Frankie, and home appliances and furniture stores for Kevin and Joe. Frankie even gives his own gifts this year rather than adding his name to his parents’, so everyone receives a lovely reminder of the tie-dying debacle of the previous month, during which Frankie ruined two tablecloths in four days in order to produce a set of blotchy T-shirts that are mostly muddy brown in color but nevertheless appreciated.
Their mom’s gravy turns out really well and their dad falls asleep in front of the TV before it’s even dark outside, and Frank flakes out around eight because he’s been bouncing off the walls since five in the morning. Danielle helps Denise with the dishes while Frankie’s older brothers retreat to the studio space set up in the basement and strum casually on their guitars for a while. They’re writing but not seriously, so Nick doesn’t mind when Joe grabs Kevin’s guitar and starts doing his Avril impersonation, and Kevin laughs so hard he almost kicks over his mug of eggnog.
Not long after that, Kevin goes off with Danielle and Joe ambles upstairs to rouse their father and settle down to watch some late-night TV. “Don’t stay down here too long, Nicky,” he calls over his shoulder as he ascends, and Nick plucks out a couple of Costello ballads before rising to grab his phone and go to bed. The new message icon is lit up, and Nick taps it as he starts up the staircase. It’s from David, a simple Merry Christmas with a little smiley face.
--
Nick’s in Boston with the Administration when he finds out about the earthquake. He gets on Twitter after the show and that’s when he sees the trending topics, Haiti and Port-au-Prince and 7.0 magnitude, and something inside him goes Uh-oh. David tweeted about it too, of course. He’s so into this Twitter thing, and Nick’s learning but he has a way to go. By now they’re back to texting each other multiple times a day and sometimes David will mention a TwitPic or a Twitter party, and Nick will be like “What?” and David will explain. They don’t follow each other, but Nick lurks his page once in a while.
He calls Joe from his hotel room as soon as he sees Twitter, and they both turn on CNN, Joe sporadically punctuating the silence with a somber “Wow” or a “Ho-ly…” When they’re invited to help man the phones for the Hope for Haiti Now telethon, all three Jonas Brothers jump at the chance.
--
Nick wonders if there’s a point where even though you’re not formally with someone, you actually kind of are in a sense, based on the amount of time you spend talking and laughing and generally being into each other. If there is, he thinks, he and David have definitely reached it. There’s nothing about this that isn’t a relationship, except for the fact that they can’t be physical with each other or ever acknowledge it, but it’s there - Nick can feel it. At first he thought the undercurrent was just his imagination, but it isn’t, it really isn’t. It’s there in the softening of David’s voice when he picks up the phone to find Nick on the line, the way Nick’s pulse jumps when he hears David’s ringtone, the good morning texts he sends David to wake up to. They’re tender with each other, loving quietly without expressing it, and Nick realizes that somewhere along the road he’s begun to treat David as he would a girlfriend - softly, with sensitivity and kind of a protective streak. One time, he apologizes for it, because it’s getting kind of ridiculous, but David just goes quiet for a second before saying, “Don’t stop; I like it.”
Well. Well, okay.
--
Nick knows David will be back in L.A. later in the month to work on more songwriting, but when he gets the text about David doing Hope for Haiti too, he almost keels over. There’s, like, a date now, something tangible, something he can - as lame as it sounds - count down to, and Nick really can’t wait. He’s on a tight schedule that week, with the telethon sandwiched between a Thursday show in Minneapolis and a Saturday show in Denver, but he’ll get to spend the night at home before his morning flight and now he’ll see David too and it’s just… oh, it’s awesome.
--
So the number of famous faces at this thing is kind of ridiculous. Nick would almost think he were at Madame Tussaud’s or something, but for the fact that these celebrities are living, breathing beings. There’s George Clooney over in one corner, near Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake, and Leonardo DiCaprio is sipping white wine and chatting with Reese Witherspoon. There are a lot of people he’s friends with too - Kevin goes straight to Zac and Vanessa, while Joe fist-bumps Common and tries desperately to stay as far away from Taylor as possible. Nick would like to say hey to Selena, but she’s sticking to Taylor like glue and he doesn’t particularly feel like dealing with that brand of crazy in such close quarters. He looks around for someone he knows personally, and it takes a second to register that way over the other side of the room, wearing plaid and hanging out near the fruit platter, is David Archuleta.
Nick gets this crazy sense of déjà vu as he wades through the gaggle of famous faces, and he can’t help but think back to the first time they met, when David walked in and lit up the room before making his way over to sit at Nick’s side.
“Archuleta,” Nick calls when he’s sure he’s within hearing distance, and David glances up with his deer-in-the-headlights expression before catching sight of Nick and breaking into a huge, gorgeous, genuine smile.
Nick’s usually kind of shy about his own smile, but with David, he can’t help but grin back. He opens his arms to give a very manly pat on the back, which sort of turns into a squeeze.
“It’s good to see you,” Nick says quietly, and David beams.
--
What follows is essentially two hours of organized chaos, with phones ringing off the hook. The first caller Nick gets is an older woman who has no idea who he is, but he talks to her briefly about how important her donation is and she seems impressed with his professionalism, saying “Thank you, dear” before she hangs up - which isn’t to say he doesn’t fulfill his quota of screaming girls as the night progresses, but it’s a nice, low-key way to start off.
They’re offered breaks but nobody really takes them; there’s a cool atmosphere inside the studio that makes everyone feel like they’re actually making a difference, so most remain at their stations for the whole event. Quite a few even stay afterwards, including Nick, Joe, Kevin, and David, and Nick spies Taylor over at the other end of the phone bank and feels kind of bad about not talking to her earlier. Nick and his brothers don’t put their phones down until eight - almost an hour later than scheduled - and there’s talk about going out before the three of them decide they’d really rather go home and watch a movie, especially with Nick’s early flight the next day.
David is in the row above Nick’s, wrapping up his last phone call as the people around him rise and pack up. Nick turns to look in what he thinks is a surreptitious manner until Joe elbows him and tells him “Go” under his breath, so he obliges.
“Heyyy,” David says warmly as Nick approaches, and Nick grins reflexively as David’s hazel eyes meet his. He plays with his dogtag as David watches, expectant, before finally asking as casually as he can if David would like to join them. The answer is a resounding yes.
--
Nick kind of hoped some of the paps would be gone if they got out late, but he has no such luck. There’s a whole horde of them, more than even he’s used to, because there were a lot of big name stars in one place tonight. It feels like every photographer in Hollywood is calling his name.
He grabs David’s arm and David jumps a little but shrinks closer, allowing himself to be shepherded towards the waiting car. Nick and David slide into the back seat with Kevin riding shotgun and Joe at the wheel, and they inch out slowly, half blinded by camera flashes. David fiddles with his phone self-consciously, and Nick squeezes his hand.
--
They decide on Titanic for two reasons: firstly, they all kind of geeked out over being in such close proximity to Leo earlier, and secondly because David’s never seen it. Kevin actually goes white when he finds this out, protesting weakly, “But… it’s Titanic.” Apparently David heard Kate Winslet went topless and avoided it at all costs.
“I’ll cover your eyes during that part,” Nick promises, and Joe kind of snickers while Kevin smiles vaguely, oblivious.
--
One hour in, and David’s so engrossed that it’s kind of adorable. Nick looks at him sidelong - really looks at him, taking him all in. He’s made up of so many delightful components, and Nick takes the time to appreciate every single one. The slight upward quirk of his lips, strangely representative of his perpetual optimism and gentle, amused outlook. The beauty mark at the left tip of his jaw bone, hidden just under his ear. The sparkly, expressive eyes that crinkle at the edges.
David blinks, sensing he’s being watched, then tilts his head and gazes steadily back for a few seconds. There’s a flicker of uncertainty between them, of chemistry realized but not acknowledged, and David looks mildly terrified that all one of them has to do is give in. His breath stutters, catching in his throat, but Nick just smiles, letting the moment shimmer and eventually dissipate. It’s not right, that things have to be this way, but Nick knows he’d rather have David in this capacity than not at all.
David swallows and gives Nick a real smile that reaches his eyes.
---<---<---@