a drop into the blue
title: a drop into the blue
pairing/fandom: sunggyu/yura; infinite/girls' day
rating: r
warnings: drug use
summary: first loves might not always last, but that doesn't mean they have to end.
notes: set in the tales!verse
it's the last day of grade 8; end of their first year of high school, and yura's hugging sojin, elated that they're no longer to be the youngest in the school. sojin turns to jihae with a laugh and yura hears a hesitant 'excuse me' behind her. she turns round to see sunggyu standing there, hands in his pockets, eyes darting away from her face, the palest of pinks highlighting his cheekbones.
'hi,' she says, summoning up a friendly smile.
'hi,' he repeats, shifting nervously, his lips quirking up into a smile. 'i'm- uh, i'm sunggyu.'
yura laughs. 'we're in the same class, i know.'
sunggyu exhales a breath of nerves in the guise of laughter. 'right. of course. yeah.' he glances over his shoulder and yura peers over it too, to see yoona gesturing wildly in their direction. yura tilts her head, trying to decipher the wild hand slashing and waving, eyes slipping to sunggyu as his shoulders tense and his head jerks in what yura can only presume must be a reply. he glances around and slips a hand out of his pocket to flash yoona a surreptitious middle finger yura only catches through careful observation, and yoona sticks her tongue out in reply.
sunggyu turns back to her, and yura feigns ignorance of the exchange.
'sorry,' he says.
'not a problem,' she says brightly, feeling anticipatory jitters dancing through her.
'i know we haven't really spoken- uh,' sunggyu says, renewing eye contact.
'are you kidding me? i totally asked you what the morning messages were that one time, we're practically best friends,' yura says with a giggle and sunggyu lets out a laugh. 'sorry,' yura says, grinning at the way sunggyu's eyes crinkled out of existence as he laughs. 'i'm not really a fan of awkwardness.'
sunggyu grins at her, and she wants to duck behind someone to hide the heat she is sure is rising in her cheeks.
'do you wanna go out with me?' sunggyu blurts and yura's certain she's blushing now. 'on a- a date,' he adds hurriedly, his previous burst of confidence slipping away into a stutter and yura glances behind her to see if she can grip onto sojin- but her friends have disappeared, and she vows to get them back for that later.
'you don't have to if you don't want to,' sunggyu says, his words coming quicker, his lisp becoming more evident. 'it's just- you're really pretty and cool and i thought i might as well ask.'
yura looks up at him with a shy smile. 'i'd like that, actually.'
his eyes widen in surprise. 'what, really?' he exclaims and she nods before giggling nervously, putting the backs of her hands to her cheeks.
'sorry, i get shy,' she says, suddenly flustered and sunggyu shakes his head rapidly.
'it's okay, i just- wow.' he lets out a short laugh. 'great. yeah. um.' he hesitantly holds out his phone. 'if you give me your number, we can. arrange something.'
yura nods as she takes it, quickly keying in her name and number before handing it back with a smile.
they stand there for a moments or so after he takes it back, sneaking glances and smiles at each other.
'i should go,' yura says.
'uh, yeah, me too,' sunggyu replies, and holds up his phone. 'i'll get hold of you.'
yura nods and turns to leave with a small wave. she gets two steps before turning back. 'don't make me wait too long,' she says in a sudden rash of boldness and he looks at her in mild surprise, his eyes crinkling into a smile as he shakes his head.
she keeps glancing back as she crosses the field, looking for her friends, seeing sunggyu make his way over to yoona, who proceeds to hang on him, and then pinch his cheeks and yura can't help but smile when he pushes her away. they're joined by a girl yura vaguely recognises from two grades above them, and yura manages to see yoona say something to make sunggyu scowl, pink cheeked, as the other girl pats him on the head with a teasing grin before she's accosted by the full weight of sojin.
'did he ask you out?' sojin asks excitedly.
'we thought he looked like he might, so we gave you two some space,' jihae adds, and yura swats at her.
'well, did he?' sojin persists and yura nods, biting her lip, and sojin jumps up and down excitedly. 'and what did you say?'
'of course she said yes, right?' jihae says and yura nods again. sojin and jihae squeal and yura takes the opportunity to glance back to catch sunggyu looking over at her. he smiles and raises a hand subtly after glancing to make sure the girls with him aren't paying attention and yura gives a small wave back.
'are you excited?' sojin asks and yura looks back at her quickly. 'you said you thought he was cute.'
yura feels her cheeks grow warm. 'he is,' she says defensively and sojin just grins at her.
'she's so cute,' jihae crows, burying her face in sojin's arm.
'he's not a player, is he,' sojin says suddenly, a stern pout on her face, and yura follows her gaze to where yoona's poking at sunggyu's cheek, the older girl laughing. 'i don't recall him hanging out with many guys.'
'i don't think that means anything. besides, isn't he friends with myungsoo and hoya?' yura tunes out jihae's voice when sunggyu catches her eye after swatting yoona's hand away and flashes her a smile, glancing away before pulling out his phone, and yura's smile grows as he tries to hide his screen from yoona as she hangs on his shoulders.
her phone buzzes soon after he puts his away and looks back at her and she pulls it out of her blazer pocket to check it.
[unknown number] are you free monday?
she looks up to see sunggyu worrying at his lip as he looks at her and she smiles, tapping out a reply.
[yura] depends on whether you're taking me out or not
she hears sunggyu laugh and she glances up to see him grin at her before stumbling as yoona tugs him along. yura laughs and saves his number on her phone, turning to see jihae and sojin looking at her in curiousity and she prepares herself for a barrage of questions.
--
'you know, for a while i thought you and yoona had a thing,' yura says conversationally on monday, and sunggyu almost chokes on his ice cream across the table.
'what?' he says, aghast. 'me and yoona?'
'everyone thought it!' yura insists, sticking her spoon into her ice cream, 'you guys are practically joined at the hip!'
sunggyu shakes his head with a laugh. 'oh god, no. we've been friends since like grade one, she's like my sister.' he pauses. 'sometimes i think i like her more than i like my actual sisters. other times i don't know why i'm friends with her.'
'you have sisters?' yura asks and sunggyu nods.
'two. jiyeon's at our school, in grade ten, and jaekyung's starting grade eight when the school year starts.'
'was the girl with you and yoona on friday your sister?' yura asks, just wanting to make sure.
sunggyu blinks. 'oh, yeah, that was jiyeon.'
'she's pretty,' yura says, a flood of relief coursing through her.
sunggyu shrugs. 'i guess.'
yura loses count of the hours they spend together; wandering around and laughing; getting to know each other; and yura finds herself gravitating towards him, walking close enough that their arms bump against each other, and when sunggyu cautiously catches her fingers with his and entwines them together she lets him; her fingers curling around his, the warmth of his hand sending tingles up her arms and in her tummy and she hears him let out a shy laugh and he avoids looking at her as his grip on her hand tightens a bit; both of them a little pink cheeked and smiling.
it's only when yura gets a message from her mom asking her where she is that she realises how late it's gotten.
'i have to go,' she says apologetically, 'my mom's looking for me.'
sunggyu glances at the time and blinks in surprise. 'wow, mine probably is too.'
yura gives him a smile, suddenly feeling shy again. 'today was really nice,' she tells him and he grins.
'yeah.' he hesitates. 'would you- would you wanna do it again?'
yura nods. 'definitely.'
sunggyu's smile stretches wider and he scratches at his head. 'cool.'
'well. bye.' yura gives a laugh and a small wave.
sunggyu gets a determined glint in his eyes and his hand flutters to her elbow and her stomach clenches as he leans in, a tidal wave of nerves causing her to turn her cheek at the last second, slipping into a hug that could have been awkward if sunggyu doesn't laugh softly and hug her tightly. she feels his lips brush against her neck feather-light before he pulls back, and butterflies erupt in her tummy.
'i'll call you,' he says and she smiles.
'don't make me wait too long,' she teases.
(he doesn't- she gets a call the next day, and a simple good night text that very night.)
--
when their second date (four days after the first) draws to close, yura surprises sunggyu by darting forward first and pressing her lips to his, and he stutters and blushes and she just laughs and kisses him again. they're still inexperienced, and the kiss is relatively sloppy, but yura's not concerned.
she's always lived by the maxim practice makes perfect.
--
they're making out lazily on sunggyu's bed two months later, the afternoon sun shining golden through the window, warming yura's skin until she can hardly distinguish between the heat of the sun and the heat of sunggyu's hand resting heavily on her waist.
sunggyu has music playing but yura's zoned it out; along with the background noise of the house, focussed more on the gentle push and pull of sunggyu's lips against hers. so when the door bangs open to jaekyung saying sunggyu's name loudly, yura almost leaps out of her skin, wrenching away from sunggyu and almost falling off the bed; sunggyu's grip on her waist preventing her crashing down.
'what the fuck, jaekyung!' sunggyu exclaims, eyes wide, breathing heavily (yura's not sure if his chest is heaving from the making out or the scare- she knows hers is a bit of both).
jaekyung drops her hand from her mouth and grins cheekily. 'mom!' she calls downstairs and yura buries her face in sunggyu's chest. 'sunggyu's door was closed!'
'sunggyu, i told you to leave the door open when you're up there together!' comes the immediate yell from downstairs. 'i'm not having you be the cause of teenage pregnancy on my watch!'
yura lets out a near hysterical giggle as sunggyu flushes red. 'mom!' he yells, scandalised. 'the door was closed because we wanted to listen to music!'
'oh sure,' comes the sarcastic reply.
'we weren't doing anything!' sunggyu yells insistently and points at jaekyung. 'don't say anything,' he tells her firmly in a low voice.
'what do i get out of it?' jaekyung asks, leaning against the doorframe.
sunggyu groans. 'can we talk about it later?' he pleads and jaekyung narrows her eyes contemplatively at him. 'please?' he tries.
jaekyung shrugs and grins. 'okay. you kids have fun now,' she says with a wink, wiggling her fingers at them, 'be safe.'
she closes the door behind her and sunggyu buries his face in his hands with a groan.
'i am so sorry,' comes his muffled words and yura laughs.
'it's okay,' she assures him, 'your family's fun.'
'so sorry,' he repeats, and yura just curls into his side with a laugh, content and comfortable (even if she was a little embarrassed).
--
sunggyu is a lot of firsts for yura.
the first time she gets drunk: yoona's acquired some brandy from her parents' liquor cabinet and the three of them are settled in yura's basement room drinking it with coke, the alcohol burning her throat when they tried it straight. she feels a bit like she's in a bubble; or a painting with the background blurred into motion lines around her as she lazily watches yoona and sunggyu bickering. she thinks they're being quite loud, but she can't be sure- she's unconcerned, though. sunggyu lurches to his feet and stumbles over to her, his cheeks pink.
'she's rude, i like you way more,' he tells her earnestly and yura smiles.
'i'm glad to hear that,' she replies, feeling like she needs to concentrate on enunciating her words. she reaches out for sunggyu, slinging her legs over his lap and cuddling under his arm, tucking her head into the crook of his neck, pressing her lips idly to his collarbone.
'i love you,' he murmurs and the words almost don't penetrate the fog in yura's mind, but she hears them and smiles into sunggyu's neck.
'i love you too,' she replies, reaching out to tangle her fingers with his.
the first time she gets stoned: he's watching her apprehensively as she holds the joint he's just rolled. they're on his bed, his parents aren't there and his door is closed, small opaque pthalocyanine blue spacecase he keeps his stuff in lying open on the bed between them, his thumb worrying at the lighter he's holding.
'you still wanna do this?' he asks and she nods.
'yes,' she assures him, and hesitates before holding the joint back out to him. 'but you go first. i'm not sure what to do.'
he laughs and takes it from her, lighting it with practiced ease and taking a drag before holding it out for her. 'before it goes out,' he prompts, smoke billowing from his mouth and she flashes him a smile as she raises it to her lips.
her first orgasm: it's not the first time he's slipped his hand down the front of her panties, but it's the first time the angle feels oh so right, his fingers moving against her until she has to break away from his kiss, leaning her head on his shoulder as her eyes flutter closed, her breath coming in small gasps, his fingers gripping onto his biceps. she can feel her thighs jumping as her hips move on their own accord, wanting more, harder, faster, something. sunggyu mutters a hasty shh as a whine curls out of her throat, and she knows it's because they are far from alone in the house but she can't help it, and he presses his lips to hers.
she bites his lip by accident when she comes, pleasure coursing through her, her body freezing until she lets out the breath she was holding and relaxes with a laugh, lifting her eyes to see sunggyu tonguing at his lip, faint expression of disgruntled pain of his face.
'sorry,' she says breathlessly and his lips quirk up. she lets out a gasping whimper as he moves his fingers that are still against her. 'no, no, no,' she says quickly, 'too much.'
he slips his hand out, wiping it on the bed cover as he kisses his way up her neck before pressing his lips against hers.
'you're all pink,' he says lowly, laughter in his voice, and she buries her face in his neck with a giggle, unable to wipe the smile from her face.
'shut up,' she whines and he wraps his arms around her, lying down and rolling over until she's on her back, looking up at him. her fingers rest just inside the waistband of his pants as he leans down to kiss her- she can feel him against her thigh.
her first one year anniversary: he takes her out for the first time in a long time- nothing fancy, just a meal at a reasonable restaurant, but he makes an effort to dress nicely, and she appreciates it.
she hooks her foot around his ankle under the table and leaves it there, and the evening passes with laughter and bright grins.
he gives her a ring, a solid patterned silver band- he's wearing its twin and she can't hide her smile as she admires it on her fingers, sneaking glances at his hand.
she doesn't want to say goodnight afterwards, kissing him outside her house until her sister calls that she can see them, and sunggyu ducks behind a tree in his fluster.
her first time: it's the week after her sixteenth birthday and he's bribed his cousin to rent a room for them for the night. she tells her parents she's spending the night at sojin's house- sojin had happily volunteered as an alibi, swearing that even if she were tortured she'd never say yura wasn't there- and meets sunggyu in front of the cheap hotel. he's nervous and antsy and pretending not be, and he's gotten her a bunch of flowers and flushes pink and gives her a light shove when she bursts out into peals of giggles.
he grabs her hand and leads her inside to where his cousin is waiting with the key to the room and a mischievous grin.
'aren't you two cute,' he says, ruffling sunggyu's hair and sunggyu swats his hand away. 'checkout's at ten, or you're paying.'
sunggyu nods, his ears pink, yura almost hiding behind his back.
'oh, by the way,' sungjoon says suddenly, digging in his pocket, 'joo says to give you these.'
sunggyu flushes red and grabs the pack of condoms sungjoon's holding out, stuffing it in his pocket with a hasty glance around. 'what the fuck, you told her?' he hisses and sungjoon gives a shrug and a lazy smile. sunggyu huffs. 'i have the worst family,' he decides and sungjoon puts on an affronted expression.
'oh, so should i just take the room? such gratitude.'
sunggyu snatches the key out of his hand, pausing as his face takes on an almost pained expression. 'thanks,' he says with effort, 'sincerely.'
sungjoon laughs. 'no birthday or christmas presents for the next three years,' he reminds him and sends a wink at yura. 'have fun,' he says before sticking his hands in his pockets and loping out.
yura keeps bursting into nervous laughter and they sit on the bed for a while, just talking, before they feel brave enough to do anything.
it's not magical; neither of them have done this before so there are a lot of fumbles and laughter, and it hurts a little, but it's nice and yura curls into him afterwards, the abundant skin-on-skin contact sparking warm tingles through her, and he presses his lips to her forehead and she giggles. he's warm and she's content, happy, giddy because she can just lie next to him, hand lax on his chest, his thumb absently stroking her fingers and they have all night, all night and no fear of being caught.
the first time she gets high: maybe she's more apprehensive than she thought, or more paranoid about his family coming home unexpectedly than she realised, but something startles her and sends her mind tripping and reeling down strange passages, enhanced by hallucinogenics, and she climbs into sunggyu's lap and buries her face in his chest and makes him sing softly to her so she can be assured that he's there, that it's his arms that are wrapped around her, and he sings a lilting tune about how he'll keep her safe and chase away the monsters and slowly, slowly, her fingers loosen their grip on his shirt.
her first love: she knows it by the way she's filled with a peculiar warmth whenever she sees him or hears his voice, by the small rush of pride she feels when she hears his name- most of the time, it's not really linked to something to feel proud about, but that doesn't change anything. she can tell by the worry she's doused with intermittently; the concern that has her sitting at home chewing on her nails as she wonders if he's stayed sober that night. yura thinks she'll always be fond of sunggyu; always wonder about how he's doing if she doesn't see him regularly. they aren't forever- yura thinks first love's are hardly ever meant to be- but that doesn't make it- him- less important to her.
--
sunggyu's mercurial, depending on if he's smoked, or how much he's had to drink, or what he's taken. it's always him, though, yura thinks, there's always that same brash, stubborn, marshmallow-centered familiarity with the sober sunggyu she can recognise. he's not so easily flustered when intoxicated and she can't help but laugh along when the evidence is relived in the aftermath- he has bad luck with being caught on tape at the most inopportune times. he buries his face in his hands in embarrassment, and yura slings a comforting arm around his shoulder- an apology in advance for all the teasing she knows she's going to do later. she learns to see the bright side in his habits, learns to take amusement from them- she has to. she's not sure she could bear the alternative.
they've had late night phonecalls before, whispered goodnights as they went to sleep, but it's only when he calls her jittery, his mind altered, his bloodstream dancing with chemicals that she doesn't want to hang up. he's waxing lyrical, talking a mile a minute about fantastical illusions, jumping from one topic to the next, sentences changing course mid run, tone going from distracted and bright to almost panicked, his breathing quickening, and she doesn't want to hang up because she's never heard him like this and he won't answer her questions about what or how much he's taken. but he keeps repeating her name when she's quiet for too long and she hears the fear lace his words before she speaks up and he calms down. she doesn't know what he's scared of; but she doesn't want him to find out. so she stays awake until she can't any longer and wakes up with her phone on the bed in front of her, it having slipped off her pillow. she's on edge and distracted until he calls her later on.
'sorry about last night,' he says, voice sounding rough, 'i didn't mean to keep you up.'
'it's okay,' she replies, a knot inside of her releasing, 'i'm sorry i fell asleep on you.'
he chuckles. 'it's okay,' he dismisses, 'you should have told me to go to sleep anyway. or at least to leave you alone.'
yura wants to ask him why, wants to tell him that she's okay with him calling her if he needs help, if he's scared, wants to ask him why he does it if he gets scared. 'what are you doing later?' she asks instead, 'i wanna see you.'
--
sunggyu snorts at his phone and taps a quick reply before putting his phone in his pocket and settling comfortably into his seat and yura glances over from where she is tipping a box of astros into her popcorn.
'and that?' she asks and he waves his hand in dismissal.
'wrong number,' he replies, sucking on his straw and yura dismisses it.
he spends most of the movie picking the astros from yura's popcorn until she slaps his hands away and feeds him astros and popcorn together ('how it's meant to be eaten') and during the quiet bickering they've lost track of some finer plot points of the movie. they enjoy it nonetheless, and they exit the theatre with yura assuring him she'll buy him food, the packet with her new game in swinging from his wrist.
they're deciding where to go eat as they take their phones off silent and sunggyu makes a faint noise of surprise, his eyebrows raised at his phone.
'what is it?' she asks, peering over in curiousity, and he hands her his phone so she can read what it said.
[unknown number] hi~ i felt the need to tell you that your attractiveness is detrimental to my daily functioning and i think you should take responsibility ^.~ -woohyun
[sunggyu] sorry i think you have the wrong number
[unknown number] i don't think i do, though. sunggyu-hyung, right?
[unknown number] you're really hot, hyung, i think about you a lot
[unknown number] like a lot
[unknown number] if you know what i mean ^.~
yura laughs. 'wow, you have an admirer.'
sunggyu takes his phone back and looks at it again, brow furrowed in confusion. 'woohyun. who is that, even.'
yura thinks about it. 'woohyun... isn't that the name of minah's brother?'
sunggyu turns his confused look on her. 'who's minah?'
'hyoseok's little sister,' yura tells him and he raises an eyebrow at her.
'why would you use her as an identifier and not hyoseok, who, you know, we both know?'
she pushes him lightly. 'shut up, i met her at the grade seven open day, she's a sweetheart.'
'but you're talking to me here-'
'okay, okay!' she exclaims loudly, 'anyway, that would make woohyun hyoseok's younger brother. congratulations on your admirer.'
sunggyu spares his phone one last glance before slipping it back into his pocket with a laugh, draping his arm over her shoulders. 'so where's this food you were gonna buy me, huh?'
--
she's in his lap when his phone goes off and she jolts at the vibration on her inner thigh. she's laughing as she rests on her knees to allow him to lie back and dig his phone out of his pocket, his eye smile crinkling up at her amusedly, and she gives in to the temptation to mess up his hair more. he laughs and glances at his phone as he pulls it out, his expression slipping into a mildly disgruntled one as he lets out an annoyed sound.
'who is it?' she asks as he tosses it on the bed and grips her waist again.
'woohyun,' he says, 'the brat won't leave me alone.'
'still hitting on you, huh?'
he makes a quiet sound of affirmation. 'you'd think he'd be able to take no for an answer.'
she grins as she gives him a kiss. 'maybe you're unconsciously leading him on,' she teases good-naturedly, leaning down to mouth at his collarbone. 'do you think about kissing him, huh?' she slips her hand down to palm his crotch. 'think about him touching you?' she kisses his neck. 'think about giving him a blowjob? i could give you a few hints.'
she draws back enough to see his face, and a mild jolt of surprise runs through her at the sober expression on his face.
'please stop,' he says quietly, visibly uncomfortable, 'please don't.'
she quietens down, her hand running lightly up and down his arm, her eyes darting all over his face, his eyes lowered. 'sorry,' she says at last, 'i guess that wasn't funny.'
he meets her gaze as he shakes his head. 'sorry,' he says, 'it's just really annoying me. him, i mean. he's really... annoying me.'
she nods. 'it's okay,' she says, running a thumb over his cheek. 'you're allowed to tell me when you don't like something.'
he wraps his arms around her tighter, burying his face in the crook of her shoulder. they sit like that for a moment or so before she feels him mouth at her neck, his tongue darting out to taste before he raises his head to kiss her deeply.
it's the only time they ever have sex with his family still in the house. it's also the only time they don't use protection. yura's not unduly concerned; neither of them have slept with other people and she's on the pill to regulate her periods (at least, that's the reason she told her parents, even if it's not the whole truth).
he just subsides afterwards, the unusual intense energy in him fading until he's just holding her, pressing lazy kisses to her forehead, his fingers tickling her skin as he brushes her hair lightly off her shoulder and yura feels strangely sad for a reason she can't quite put her finger on.
'i love you,' he murmurs into her skin, his voice low and cracking, the words almost not reaching her ears and she twists her fingers with his, holding tightly.
'i love you too,' she whispers back, and he presses his lips to her shoulder and leaves them there, his eyes closed and his forehead almost furrowed, and she can't hear him breathing.
--
minah's unusually subdued as she approaches yura, face concerned.
'unni, i'm sorry,' she opens with.
yura blinks. 'sorry for what?'
'i found out that woohyun's been hitting on your boyfriend. hyoseok said that sunggyu asked him to tell woohyun to stop, and he did, but woohyun didn't listen. i'm sorry he has no concept of boundaries.'
yura laughs softly. 'i know about it.'
minah blinks, surprised. 'you do?'
yura nods.
'you even smiled at him earlier,' minah says doubtfully and yura shrugs.
'i guess i know what he sees in him.'
minah's eyes narrow as she studies yura in confusion and silence for a while, before her face crinkles into a tentative smile. 'i guess you don't really need to be worried, i mean, it's woohyun, and sunggyu's dating you, so...'
yura's lips quirk up into a half smile, and she gives another shrug. 'i think sunggyu's starting to fall for him actually.'
minah's eyes widen and her jaw drops. yura just smiles fondly. 'that... doesn't concern you?' minah asks, bewildered.
yura's eyes catch a leaf falling from a tree, and she idly thinks about immortalising it in charcoal. 'it should, shouldn't it,' she replies mildly.
there's a minute or two of silence and yura feels a hand rest gently on her arm.
'unni, are you okay?' minah asks, her voice laced with concern.
yura beams at her. 'i'm fine.' she's roused back to life and reaches for her bag. 'i brought that game for us to play.'
--
'fuck, yoona, i don't know what to do.'
the desperate tone in sunggyu's voice makes yura stop in opening the door, peeking unnoticed through the crack in the door to see sunggyu and yoona sitting on the bed, sunggyu looking more distressed than she'd ever seen him, and yoona's brow furrows in concern.
'i keep thinking about him, and i can't bring myself to delete his messages anymore, and i like- i like the attention, i like-' sunggyu breaks off, frustation colouring his words, and he tugs at his hair, and yura's heart goes out to him.
'you love yura, though.' yoona's voice is quiet, and sunggyu nods once.
'i do but- i mean, i think i do but- no, i do, i love her, but- surely if i were in love with her, i wouldn't be able to like woohyun?' sunggyu's expression is conflicted, his eyes beseeching as he looks at yoona. 'at least- not this much.'
yura hears the words, feels them sink in, and waits to feel angry, sad, betrayed- but instead, all she feels is relieved.
'what do you want to do?' yoona's voice is quiet and sunggyu buries his face in his hands.
'i don't know, i don't fucking know. it's not like i'm- i've never- i don't have a problem with liking a guy, but... what i have with yura is good, it works, she's- yura. i- i don't know if things would work out with woohyun, fuck, i barely know the kid!'
'i don't think it's really fair to her to stay with her just because what you have is good,' yoona tells him, 'and i'm saying this because i love yura, she's my homie. and... also because i love you, sunggyu. if your heart's somewhere else it's not fair to either of you.'
'i don't fucking know him well enough to love him, yoona, he's just.' sunggyu ruffles his hair in frustration. 'what if it's just infatuation, what if it doesn't lead anywhere, what if-'
he stops as yura pushes open the door more and he sees her. 'yura,' he says, in a tone of voice she's never heard before.
yoona turns and sees her, looking down almost guiltily, glancing at sunggyu. 'i should go,' she says, reaching out to rest her hand on sunggyu's forearm for a moment as she slides off the bed, heading towards the door. she pauses next to yura, reaching down to squeeze her hand before turning to look back at sunggyu. 'i'll call you later,' she tells him, and he nods mutely, eyes fixed on yura.
yura closes the door behind yoona and sunggyu looks down at the bed, picking at his fingers.
'you heard everything, didn't you,' he says quietly as she moves towards the bed.
'most of it,' she replies, and sits down. 'you like woohyun, huh?'
sunggyu hesitates before nodding, still looking at the bed.
'can i tell you a secret?' yura asks, 'i kind of already knew.'
sunggyu's eyes shoot up to meet hers. 'what?'
yura shrugs. 'i just. i had a feeling.'
sunggyu's silent. 'you never said anything.'
'i didn't know how,' yura admits, 'i didn't want to push you, in case you hadn't realised it yet.'
'yura, i-' sunggyu starts and she shakes her head with a small laugh.
'i'm not angry,' she says, 'really, i'm not.' there's a brief silence. 'do you think you'll be happy with him?'
sunggyu looks torn, eyes darting between her and the wall and the bed.
'you don't have to lie to me,' she tells him. 'please. don't lie to me. do you think you'll be happy with him.'
sunggyu opened his mouth and closed it again, fidgeting. 'yeah,' he says eventually, 'i think i could be.'
yura nods. 'i love you.'
'i l-'
'gyu, please. let me-' yura interrupts with a small laugh, and he quietens. 'i love you,' she repeats, 'i do. but... i think our relationship has run its course. i'm not even upset about you liking woohyun, and i'm not saying that to make you feel better. it was- it was good, but i think now... we might be better off as friends.'
sunggyu exhales loudly and runs a hand through his hair. 'you know i-' he starts and stops. 'i didn't- you know i didn't want this. i didn't want this to be- to be how we ended.'
'i know,' yura says simply. 'but sometimes we can't control what happens.'
they sit in silence for a few moments and yura sighs.
'it would have been our second anniversary tomorrow,' she comments idly and sunggyu lets out a laugh.
'i actually got you something,' he says.
'really?'
he nods and unfolds his legs to climb off the bed, walking past her to his bedside cabinet, opening the drawer and pulling out a small box, handing it to her.
she hesitates in taking it. 'sunggyu-'
'just take it,' he tells her with a small laugh, 'it's yours. it wouldn't suit him anyway,' he adds and she can't help but laugh a little as she opens the box.
it's a necklace, a silver chain with two interlinked silver hearts. yura can't help but smile.
'it's beautiful. thanks.'
sunggyu shrugs. 'consider it a gift from a friend.' he takes it from her hand and motions for her to turn around and she shifts, moving the hair from her neck.
he puts the necklace around her neck, doing it up and moving her hair out of the way, his fingers lingering on the back of her neck. she stays still, her fingers resting on the pendant, and she feels his lips brush just above the necklace clasp and her chest catches. she hears him step away and she turns around to see him staring at her, something unidentifiable in his eyes. he steps forward and leans down, his hand cradling her jaw as he kisses her gently, deeply, bittersweetly, and her hand floats up to his cheek out of habit.
he rests his forehead against hers when he pulls away and whispers 'sorry.'
yura shakes her head minutely. 'it's okay,' she replies, her voice breaking into air. a smile flirts with the dges of sunggyu's lips and he straightens, sitting back down on the bed and shunting up against the wall, his hand floating towards where she knows he keeps his stash, wedged between the bed and wall, covered by a spare blanket.
'you know, i meant what i said,' yura says suddenly, and sunggyu glances at her.
'hmm?'
'about being friends. you can't just forget about me, okay? we are still going to be friends.'
his smile softens his face. 'yeah. of course.' he's silent for a few moments. 'so this is it.'
yura nods and glances down at the ring he'd given her. 'i suppose i should-'
'no, keep it,' sunggyu interrupts her in taking the ring off. 'do what you want with it, but it's yours. you should keep it.'
yura leaves it on. 'okay.'
'you want anything?' sunggyu offers, gesturing towards his hidden stash and yura laughs.
'no. no, thanks, i won't have anything,' she says, shaking her head. 'i should actually be going. you don't have to get up. uh... i'll see you around.'
he nods as she stands up. 'yeah, definitely.'
she gives him a smile and is almost at the door when his soft voice stops her.
'hey, yura?'
she turns. 'yeah?'
he raises his head to meet her eyes. 'thanks.'
a gentle smile pulls at her lips and she nods before walking out and closing the door behind her.
she leans against the wall outside his room and closes her eyes, trying to hear the movement in the room, and she wonders how long he'll wait before delving into his collection.
it'll never not worry her, but she feels as if a burden has lifted from her shoulders. she's glad he's fallen for woohyun, because, while she doesn't know woohyun very well, she's spent enough time around him to know that he'll protect sunggyu as best he can. she hopes he can figure out a way to protect sunggyu from himself, something she was never able to do, to even attempt.
when she gets home, she reached in a drawer and pulls out a pink patterned box, opening it to tinkling music and a slowly rotating ballerina. she takes off the ring and contemplates it for a moment or two before dropping it into the box with the rest of her treasures and closing it, cutting off the music, before packing it away again.
she collapses on her bed and reaches for her pillow, cuddling it in her arms as she stares at the ceiling.
she's not sure how long she lies there, mind drifting from memory to memory, until she rolls over and reaches for her phone.
[yura] tell your brother to take care of him, please
[minah] what
[minah] unni what do you mean
[minah] unni are you okay
yura smiles softly.
[yura] i'm fine
[yura] promise
pairing/fandom: sunggyu/yura; infinite/girls' day
rating: r
warnings: drug use
summary: first loves might not always last, but that doesn't mean they have to end.
notes: set in the tales!verse
it's the last day of grade 8; end of their first year of high school, and yura's hugging sojin, elated that they're no longer to be the youngest in the school. sojin turns to jihae with a laugh and yura hears a hesitant 'excuse me' behind her. she turns round to see sunggyu standing there, hands in his pockets, eyes darting away from her face, the palest of pinks highlighting his cheekbones.
'hi,' she says, summoning up a friendly smile.
'hi,' he repeats, shifting nervously, his lips quirking up into a smile. 'i'm- uh, i'm sunggyu.'
yura laughs. 'we're in the same class, i know.'
sunggyu exhales a breath of nerves in the guise of laughter. 'right. of course. yeah.' he glances over his shoulder and yura peers over it too, to see yoona gesturing wildly in their direction. yura tilts her head, trying to decipher the wild hand slashing and waving, eyes slipping to sunggyu as his shoulders tense and his head jerks in what yura can only presume must be a reply. he glances around and slips a hand out of his pocket to flash yoona a surreptitious middle finger yura only catches through careful observation, and yoona sticks her tongue out in reply.
sunggyu turns back to her, and yura feigns ignorance of the exchange.
'sorry,' he says.
'not a problem,' she says brightly, feeling anticipatory jitters dancing through her.
'i know we haven't really spoken- uh,' sunggyu says, renewing eye contact.
'are you kidding me? i totally asked you what the morning messages were that one time, we're practically best friends,' yura says with a giggle and sunggyu lets out a laugh. 'sorry,' yura says, grinning at the way sunggyu's eyes crinkled out of existence as he laughs. 'i'm not really a fan of awkwardness.'
sunggyu grins at her, and she wants to duck behind someone to hide the heat she is sure is rising in her cheeks.
'do you wanna go out with me?' sunggyu blurts and yura's certain she's blushing now. 'on a- a date,' he adds hurriedly, his previous burst of confidence slipping away into a stutter and yura glances behind her to see if she can grip onto sojin- but her friends have disappeared, and she vows to get them back for that later.
'you don't have to if you don't want to,' sunggyu says, his words coming quicker, his lisp becoming more evident. 'it's just- you're really pretty and cool and i thought i might as well ask.'
yura looks up at him with a shy smile. 'i'd like that, actually.'
his eyes widen in surprise. 'what, really?' he exclaims and she nods before giggling nervously, putting the backs of her hands to her cheeks.
'sorry, i get shy,' she says, suddenly flustered and sunggyu shakes his head rapidly.
'it's okay, i just- wow.' he lets out a short laugh. 'great. yeah. um.' he hesitantly holds out his phone. 'if you give me your number, we can. arrange something.'
yura nods as she takes it, quickly keying in her name and number before handing it back with a smile.
they stand there for a moments or so after he takes it back, sneaking glances and smiles at each other.
'i should go,' yura says.
'uh, yeah, me too,' sunggyu replies, and holds up his phone. 'i'll get hold of you.'
yura nods and turns to leave with a small wave. she gets two steps before turning back. 'don't make me wait too long,' she says in a sudden rash of boldness and he looks at her in mild surprise, his eyes crinkling into a smile as he shakes his head.
she keeps glancing back as she crosses the field, looking for her friends, seeing sunggyu make his way over to yoona, who proceeds to hang on him, and then pinch his cheeks and yura can't help but smile when he pushes her away. they're joined by a girl yura vaguely recognises from two grades above them, and yura manages to see yoona say something to make sunggyu scowl, pink cheeked, as the other girl pats him on the head with a teasing grin before she's accosted by the full weight of sojin.
'did he ask you out?' sojin asks excitedly.
'we thought he looked like he might, so we gave you two some space,' jihae adds, and yura swats at her.
'well, did he?' sojin persists and yura nods, biting her lip, and sojin jumps up and down excitedly. 'and what did you say?'
'of course she said yes, right?' jihae says and yura nods again. sojin and jihae squeal and yura takes the opportunity to glance back to catch sunggyu looking over at her. he smiles and raises a hand subtly after glancing to make sure the girls with him aren't paying attention and yura gives a small wave back.
'are you excited?' sojin asks and yura looks back at her quickly. 'you said you thought he was cute.'
yura feels her cheeks grow warm. 'he is,' she says defensively and sojin just grins at her.
'she's so cute,' jihae crows, burying her face in sojin's arm.
'he's not a player, is he,' sojin says suddenly, a stern pout on her face, and yura follows her gaze to where yoona's poking at sunggyu's cheek, the older girl laughing. 'i don't recall him hanging out with many guys.'
'i don't think that means anything. besides, isn't he friends with myungsoo and hoya?' yura tunes out jihae's voice when sunggyu catches her eye after swatting yoona's hand away and flashes her a smile, glancing away before pulling out his phone, and yura's smile grows as he tries to hide his screen from yoona as she hangs on his shoulders.
her phone buzzes soon after he puts his away and looks back at her and she pulls it out of her blazer pocket to check it.
[unknown number] are you free monday?
she looks up to see sunggyu worrying at his lip as he looks at her and she smiles, tapping out a reply.
[yura] depends on whether you're taking me out or not
she hears sunggyu laugh and she glances up to see him grin at her before stumbling as yoona tugs him along. yura laughs and saves his number on her phone, turning to see jihae and sojin looking at her in curiousity and she prepares herself for a barrage of questions.
--
'you know, for a while i thought you and yoona had a thing,' yura says conversationally on monday, and sunggyu almost chokes on his ice cream across the table.
'what?' he says, aghast. 'me and yoona?'
'everyone thought it!' yura insists, sticking her spoon into her ice cream, 'you guys are practically joined at the hip!'
sunggyu shakes his head with a laugh. 'oh god, no. we've been friends since like grade one, she's like my sister.' he pauses. 'sometimes i think i like her more than i like my actual sisters. other times i don't know why i'm friends with her.'
'you have sisters?' yura asks and sunggyu nods.
'two. jiyeon's at our school, in grade ten, and jaekyung's starting grade eight when the school year starts.'
'was the girl with you and yoona on friday your sister?' yura asks, just wanting to make sure.
sunggyu blinks. 'oh, yeah, that was jiyeon.'
'she's pretty,' yura says, a flood of relief coursing through her.
sunggyu shrugs. 'i guess.'
yura loses count of the hours they spend together; wandering around and laughing; getting to know each other; and yura finds herself gravitating towards him, walking close enough that their arms bump against each other, and when sunggyu cautiously catches her fingers with his and entwines them together she lets him; her fingers curling around his, the warmth of his hand sending tingles up her arms and in her tummy and she hears him let out a shy laugh and he avoids looking at her as his grip on her hand tightens a bit; both of them a little pink cheeked and smiling.
it's only when yura gets a message from her mom asking her where she is that she realises how late it's gotten.
'i have to go,' she says apologetically, 'my mom's looking for me.'
sunggyu glances at the time and blinks in surprise. 'wow, mine probably is too.'
yura gives him a smile, suddenly feeling shy again. 'today was really nice,' she tells him and he grins.
'yeah.' he hesitates. 'would you- would you wanna do it again?'
yura nods. 'definitely.'
sunggyu's smile stretches wider and he scratches at his head. 'cool.'
'well. bye.' yura gives a laugh and a small wave.
sunggyu gets a determined glint in his eyes and his hand flutters to her elbow and her stomach clenches as he leans in, a tidal wave of nerves causing her to turn her cheek at the last second, slipping into a hug that could have been awkward if sunggyu doesn't laugh softly and hug her tightly. she feels his lips brush against her neck feather-light before he pulls back, and butterflies erupt in her tummy.
'i'll call you,' he says and she smiles.
'don't make me wait too long,' she teases.
(he doesn't- she gets a call the next day, and a simple good night text that very night.)
--
when their second date (four days after the first) draws to close, yura surprises sunggyu by darting forward first and pressing her lips to his, and he stutters and blushes and she just laughs and kisses him again. they're still inexperienced, and the kiss is relatively sloppy, but yura's not concerned.
she's always lived by the maxim practice makes perfect.
--
they're making out lazily on sunggyu's bed two months later, the afternoon sun shining golden through the window, warming yura's skin until she can hardly distinguish between the heat of the sun and the heat of sunggyu's hand resting heavily on her waist.
sunggyu has music playing but yura's zoned it out; along with the background noise of the house, focussed more on the gentle push and pull of sunggyu's lips against hers. so when the door bangs open to jaekyung saying sunggyu's name loudly, yura almost leaps out of her skin, wrenching away from sunggyu and almost falling off the bed; sunggyu's grip on her waist preventing her crashing down.
'what the fuck, jaekyung!' sunggyu exclaims, eyes wide, breathing heavily (yura's not sure if his chest is heaving from the making out or the scare- she knows hers is a bit of both).
jaekyung drops her hand from her mouth and grins cheekily. 'mom!' she calls downstairs and yura buries her face in sunggyu's chest. 'sunggyu's door was closed!'
'sunggyu, i told you to leave the door open when you're up there together!' comes the immediate yell from downstairs. 'i'm not having you be the cause of teenage pregnancy on my watch!'
yura lets out a near hysterical giggle as sunggyu flushes red. 'mom!' he yells, scandalised. 'the door was closed because we wanted to listen to music!'
'oh sure,' comes the sarcastic reply.
'we weren't doing anything!' sunggyu yells insistently and points at jaekyung. 'don't say anything,' he tells her firmly in a low voice.
'what do i get out of it?' jaekyung asks, leaning against the doorframe.
sunggyu groans. 'can we talk about it later?' he pleads and jaekyung narrows her eyes contemplatively at him. 'please?' he tries.
jaekyung shrugs and grins. 'okay. you kids have fun now,' she says with a wink, wiggling her fingers at them, 'be safe.'
she closes the door behind her and sunggyu buries his face in his hands with a groan.
'i am so sorry,' comes his muffled words and yura laughs.
'it's okay,' she assures him, 'your family's fun.'
'so sorry,' he repeats, and yura just curls into his side with a laugh, content and comfortable (even if she was a little embarrassed).
--
sunggyu is a lot of firsts for yura.
the first time she gets drunk: yoona's acquired some brandy from her parents' liquor cabinet and the three of them are settled in yura's basement room drinking it with coke, the alcohol burning her throat when they tried it straight. she feels a bit like she's in a bubble; or a painting with the background blurred into motion lines around her as she lazily watches yoona and sunggyu bickering. she thinks they're being quite loud, but she can't be sure- she's unconcerned, though. sunggyu lurches to his feet and stumbles over to her, his cheeks pink.
'she's rude, i like you way more,' he tells her earnestly and yura smiles.
'i'm glad to hear that,' she replies, feeling like she needs to concentrate on enunciating her words. she reaches out for sunggyu, slinging her legs over his lap and cuddling under his arm, tucking her head into the crook of his neck, pressing her lips idly to his collarbone.
'i love you,' he murmurs and the words almost don't penetrate the fog in yura's mind, but she hears them and smiles into sunggyu's neck.
'i love you too,' she replies, reaching out to tangle her fingers with his.
the first time she gets stoned: he's watching her apprehensively as she holds the joint he's just rolled. they're on his bed, his parents aren't there and his door is closed, small opaque pthalocyanine blue spacecase he keeps his stuff in lying open on the bed between them, his thumb worrying at the lighter he's holding.
'you still wanna do this?' he asks and she nods.
'yes,' she assures him, and hesitates before holding the joint back out to him. 'but you go first. i'm not sure what to do.'
he laughs and takes it from her, lighting it with practiced ease and taking a drag before holding it out for her. 'before it goes out,' he prompts, smoke billowing from his mouth and she flashes him a smile as she raises it to her lips.
her first orgasm: it's not the first time he's slipped his hand down the front of her panties, but it's the first time the angle feels oh so right, his fingers moving against her until she has to break away from his kiss, leaning her head on his shoulder as her eyes flutter closed, her breath coming in small gasps, his fingers gripping onto his biceps. she can feel her thighs jumping as her hips move on their own accord, wanting more, harder, faster, something. sunggyu mutters a hasty shh as a whine curls out of her throat, and she knows it's because they are far from alone in the house but she can't help it, and he presses his lips to hers.
she bites his lip by accident when she comes, pleasure coursing through her, her body freezing until she lets out the breath she was holding and relaxes with a laugh, lifting her eyes to see sunggyu tonguing at his lip, faint expression of disgruntled pain of his face.
'sorry,' she says breathlessly and his lips quirk up. she lets out a gasping whimper as he moves his fingers that are still against her. 'no, no, no,' she says quickly, 'too much.'
he slips his hand out, wiping it on the bed cover as he kisses his way up her neck before pressing his lips against hers.
'you're all pink,' he says lowly, laughter in his voice, and she buries her face in his neck with a giggle, unable to wipe the smile from her face.
'shut up,' she whines and he wraps his arms around her, lying down and rolling over until she's on her back, looking up at him. her fingers rest just inside the waistband of his pants as he leans down to kiss her- she can feel him against her thigh.
her first one year anniversary: he takes her out for the first time in a long time- nothing fancy, just a meal at a reasonable restaurant, but he makes an effort to dress nicely, and she appreciates it.
she hooks her foot around his ankle under the table and leaves it there, and the evening passes with laughter and bright grins.
he gives her a ring, a solid patterned silver band- he's wearing its twin and she can't hide her smile as she admires it on her fingers, sneaking glances at his hand.
she doesn't want to say goodnight afterwards, kissing him outside her house until her sister calls that she can see them, and sunggyu ducks behind a tree in his fluster.
her first time: it's the week after her sixteenth birthday and he's bribed his cousin to rent a room for them for the night. she tells her parents she's spending the night at sojin's house- sojin had happily volunteered as an alibi, swearing that even if she were tortured she'd never say yura wasn't there- and meets sunggyu in front of the cheap hotel. he's nervous and antsy and pretending not be, and he's gotten her a bunch of flowers and flushes pink and gives her a light shove when she bursts out into peals of giggles.
he grabs her hand and leads her inside to where his cousin is waiting with the key to the room and a mischievous grin.
'aren't you two cute,' he says, ruffling sunggyu's hair and sunggyu swats his hand away. 'checkout's at ten, or you're paying.'
sunggyu nods, his ears pink, yura almost hiding behind his back.
'oh, by the way,' sungjoon says suddenly, digging in his pocket, 'joo says to give you these.'
sunggyu flushes red and grabs the pack of condoms sungjoon's holding out, stuffing it in his pocket with a hasty glance around. 'what the fuck, you told her?' he hisses and sungjoon gives a shrug and a lazy smile. sunggyu huffs. 'i have the worst family,' he decides and sungjoon puts on an affronted expression.
'oh, so should i just take the room? such gratitude.'
sunggyu snatches the key out of his hand, pausing as his face takes on an almost pained expression. 'thanks,' he says with effort, 'sincerely.'
sungjoon laughs. 'no birthday or christmas presents for the next three years,' he reminds him and sends a wink at yura. 'have fun,' he says before sticking his hands in his pockets and loping out.
yura keeps bursting into nervous laughter and they sit on the bed for a while, just talking, before they feel brave enough to do anything.
it's not magical; neither of them have done this before so there are a lot of fumbles and laughter, and it hurts a little, but it's nice and yura curls into him afterwards, the abundant skin-on-skin contact sparking warm tingles through her, and he presses his lips to her forehead and she giggles. he's warm and she's content, happy, giddy because she can just lie next to him, hand lax on his chest, his thumb absently stroking her fingers and they have all night, all night and no fear of being caught.
the first time she gets high: maybe she's more apprehensive than she thought, or more paranoid about his family coming home unexpectedly than she realised, but something startles her and sends her mind tripping and reeling down strange passages, enhanced by hallucinogenics, and she climbs into sunggyu's lap and buries her face in his chest and makes him sing softly to her so she can be assured that he's there, that it's his arms that are wrapped around her, and he sings a lilting tune about how he'll keep her safe and chase away the monsters and slowly, slowly, her fingers loosen their grip on his shirt.
her first love: she knows it by the way she's filled with a peculiar warmth whenever she sees him or hears his voice, by the small rush of pride she feels when she hears his name- most of the time, it's not really linked to something to feel proud about, but that doesn't change anything. she can tell by the worry she's doused with intermittently; the concern that has her sitting at home chewing on her nails as she wonders if he's stayed sober that night. yura thinks she'll always be fond of sunggyu; always wonder about how he's doing if she doesn't see him regularly. they aren't forever- yura thinks first love's are hardly ever meant to be- but that doesn't make it- him- less important to her.
--
sunggyu's mercurial, depending on if he's smoked, or how much he's had to drink, or what he's taken. it's always him, though, yura thinks, there's always that same brash, stubborn, marshmallow-centered familiarity with the sober sunggyu she can recognise. he's not so easily flustered when intoxicated and she can't help but laugh along when the evidence is relived in the aftermath- he has bad luck with being caught on tape at the most inopportune times. he buries his face in his hands in embarrassment, and yura slings a comforting arm around his shoulder- an apology in advance for all the teasing she knows she's going to do later. she learns to see the bright side in his habits, learns to take amusement from them- she has to. she's not sure she could bear the alternative.
they've had late night phonecalls before, whispered goodnights as they went to sleep, but it's only when he calls her jittery, his mind altered, his bloodstream dancing with chemicals that she doesn't want to hang up. he's waxing lyrical, talking a mile a minute about fantastical illusions, jumping from one topic to the next, sentences changing course mid run, tone going from distracted and bright to almost panicked, his breathing quickening, and she doesn't want to hang up because she's never heard him like this and he won't answer her questions about what or how much he's taken. but he keeps repeating her name when she's quiet for too long and she hears the fear lace his words before she speaks up and he calms down. she doesn't know what he's scared of; but she doesn't want him to find out. so she stays awake until she can't any longer and wakes up with her phone on the bed in front of her, it having slipped off her pillow. she's on edge and distracted until he calls her later on.
'sorry about last night,' he says, voice sounding rough, 'i didn't mean to keep you up.'
'it's okay,' she replies, a knot inside of her releasing, 'i'm sorry i fell asleep on you.'
he chuckles. 'it's okay,' he dismisses, 'you should have told me to go to sleep anyway. or at least to leave you alone.'
yura wants to ask him why, wants to tell him that she's okay with him calling her if he needs help, if he's scared, wants to ask him why he does it if he gets scared. 'what are you doing later?' she asks instead, 'i wanna see you.'
--
sunggyu snorts at his phone and taps a quick reply before putting his phone in his pocket and settling comfortably into his seat and yura glances over from where she is tipping a box of astros into her popcorn.
'and that?' she asks and he waves his hand in dismissal.
'wrong number,' he replies, sucking on his straw and yura dismisses it.
he spends most of the movie picking the astros from yura's popcorn until she slaps his hands away and feeds him astros and popcorn together ('how it's meant to be eaten') and during the quiet bickering they've lost track of some finer plot points of the movie. they enjoy it nonetheless, and they exit the theatre with yura assuring him she'll buy him food, the packet with her new game in swinging from his wrist.
they're deciding where to go eat as they take their phones off silent and sunggyu makes a faint noise of surprise, his eyebrows raised at his phone.
'what is it?' she asks, peering over in curiousity, and he hands her his phone so she can read what it said.
[unknown number] hi~ i felt the need to tell you that your attractiveness is detrimental to my daily functioning and i think you should take responsibility ^.~ -woohyun
[sunggyu] sorry i think you have the wrong number
[unknown number] i don't think i do, though. sunggyu-hyung, right?
[unknown number] you're really hot, hyung, i think about you a lot
[unknown number] like a lot
[unknown number] if you know what i mean ^.~
yura laughs. 'wow, you have an admirer.'
sunggyu takes his phone back and looks at it again, brow furrowed in confusion. 'woohyun. who is that, even.'
yura thinks about it. 'woohyun... isn't that the name of minah's brother?'
sunggyu turns his confused look on her. 'who's minah?'
'hyoseok's little sister,' yura tells him and he raises an eyebrow at her.
'why would you use her as an identifier and not hyoseok, who, you know, we both know?'
she pushes him lightly. 'shut up, i met her at the grade seven open day, she's a sweetheart.'
'but you're talking to me here-'
'okay, okay!' she exclaims loudly, 'anyway, that would make woohyun hyoseok's younger brother. congratulations on your admirer.'
sunggyu spares his phone one last glance before slipping it back into his pocket with a laugh, draping his arm over her shoulders. 'so where's this food you were gonna buy me, huh?'
--
she's in his lap when his phone goes off and she jolts at the vibration on her inner thigh. she's laughing as she rests on her knees to allow him to lie back and dig his phone out of his pocket, his eye smile crinkling up at her amusedly, and she gives in to the temptation to mess up his hair more. he laughs and glances at his phone as he pulls it out, his expression slipping into a mildly disgruntled one as he lets out an annoyed sound.
'who is it?' she asks as he tosses it on the bed and grips her waist again.
'woohyun,' he says, 'the brat won't leave me alone.'
'still hitting on you, huh?'
he makes a quiet sound of affirmation. 'you'd think he'd be able to take no for an answer.'
she grins as she gives him a kiss. 'maybe you're unconsciously leading him on,' she teases good-naturedly, leaning down to mouth at his collarbone. 'do you think about kissing him, huh?' she slips her hand down to palm his crotch. 'think about him touching you?' she kisses his neck. 'think about giving him a blowjob? i could give you a few hints.'
she draws back enough to see his face, and a mild jolt of surprise runs through her at the sober expression on his face.
'please stop,' he says quietly, visibly uncomfortable, 'please don't.'
she quietens down, her hand running lightly up and down his arm, her eyes darting all over his face, his eyes lowered. 'sorry,' she says at last, 'i guess that wasn't funny.'
he meets her gaze as he shakes his head. 'sorry,' he says, 'it's just really annoying me. him, i mean. he's really... annoying me.'
she nods. 'it's okay,' she says, running a thumb over his cheek. 'you're allowed to tell me when you don't like something.'
he wraps his arms around her tighter, burying his face in the crook of her shoulder. they sit like that for a moment or so before she feels him mouth at her neck, his tongue darting out to taste before he raises his head to kiss her deeply.
it's the only time they ever have sex with his family still in the house. it's also the only time they don't use protection. yura's not unduly concerned; neither of them have slept with other people and she's on the pill to regulate her periods (at least, that's the reason she told her parents, even if it's not the whole truth).
he just subsides afterwards, the unusual intense energy in him fading until he's just holding her, pressing lazy kisses to her forehead, his fingers tickling her skin as he brushes her hair lightly off her shoulder and yura feels strangely sad for a reason she can't quite put her finger on.
'i love you,' he murmurs into her skin, his voice low and cracking, the words almost not reaching her ears and she twists her fingers with his, holding tightly.
'i love you too,' she whispers back, and he presses his lips to her shoulder and leaves them there, his eyes closed and his forehead almost furrowed, and she can't hear him breathing.
--
minah's unusually subdued as she approaches yura, face concerned.
'unni, i'm sorry,' she opens with.
yura blinks. 'sorry for what?'
'i found out that woohyun's been hitting on your boyfriend. hyoseok said that sunggyu asked him to tell woohyun to stop, and he did, but woohyun didn't listen. i'm sorry he has no concept of boundaries.'
yura laughs softly. 'i know about it.'
minah blinks, surprised. 'you do?'
yura nods.
'you even smiled at him earlier,' minah says doubtfully and yura shrugs.
'i guess i know what he sees in him.'
minah's eyes narrow as she studies yura in confusion and silence for a while, before her face crinkles into a tentative smile. 'i guess you don't really need to be worried, i mean, it's woohyun, and sunggyu's dating you, so...'
yura's lips quirk up into a half smile, and she gives another shrug. 'i think sunggyu's starting to fall for him actually.'
minah's eyes widen and her jaw drops. yura just smiles fondly. 'that... doesn't concern you?' minah asks, bewildered.
yura's eyes catch a leaf falling from a tree, and she idly thinks about immortalising it in charcoal. 'it should, shouldn't it,' she replies mildly.
there's a minute or two of silence and yura feels a hand rest gently on her arm.
'unni, are you okay?' minah asks, her voice laced with concern.
yura beams at her. 'i'm fine.' she's roused back to life and reaches for her bag. 'i brought that game for us to play.'
--
'fuck, yoona, i don't know what to do.'
the desperate tone in sunggyu's voice makes yura stop in opening the door, peeking unnoticed through the crack in the door to see sunggyu and yoona sitting on the bed, sunggyu looking more distressed than she'd ever seen him, and yoona's brow furrows in concern.
'i keep thinking about him, and i can't bring myself to delete his messages anymore, and i like- i like the attention, i like-' sunggyu breaks off, frustation colouring his words, and he tugs at his hair, and yura's heart goes out to him.
'you love yura, though.' yoona's voice is quiet, and sunggyu nods once.
'i do but- i mean, i think i do but- no, i do, i love her, but- surely if i were in love with her, i wouldn't be able to like woohyun?' sunggyu's expression is conflicted, his eyes beseeching as he looks at yoona. 'at least- not this much.'
yura hears the words, feels them sink in, and waits to feel angry, sad, betrayed- but instead, all she feels is relieved.
'what do you want to do?' yoona's voice is quiet and sunggyu buries his face in his hands.
'i don't know, i don't fucking know. it's not like i'm- i've never- i don't have a problem with liking a guy, but... what i have with yura is good, it works, she's- yura. i- i don't know if things would work out with woohyun, fuck, i barely know the kid!'
'i don't think it's really fair to her to stay with her just because what you have is good,' yoona tells him, 'and i'm saying this because i love yura, she's my homie. and... also because i love you, sunggyu. if your heart's somewhere else it's not fair to either of you.'
'i don't fucking know him well enough to love him, yoona, he's just.' sunggyu ruffles his hair in frustration. 'what if it's just infatuation, what if it doesn't lead anywhere, what if-'
he stops as yura pushes open the door more and he sees her. 'yura,' he says, in a tone of voice she's never heard before.
yoona turns and sees her, looking down almost guiltily, glancing at sunggyu. 'i should go,' she says, reaching out to rest her hand on sunggyu's forearm for a moment as she slides off the bed, heading towards the door. she pauses next to yura, reaching down to squeeze her hand before turning to look back at sunggyu. 'i'll call you later,' she tells him, and he nods mutely, eyes fixed on yura.
yura closes the door behind yoona and sunggyu looks down at the bed, picking at his fingers.
'you heard everything, didn't you,' he says quietly as she moves towards the bed.
'most of it,' she replies, and sits down. 'you like woohyun, huh?'
sunggyu hesitates before nodding, still looking at the bed.
'can i tell you a secret?' yura asks, 'i kind of already knew.'
sunggyu's eyes shoot up to meet hers. 'what?'
yura shrugs. 'i just. i had a feeling.'
sunggyu's silent. 'you never said anything.'
'i didn't know how,' yura admits, 'i didn't want to push you, in case you hadn't realised it yet.'
'yura, i-' sunggyu starts and she shakes her head with a small laugh.
'i'm not angry,' she says, 'really, i'm not.' there's a brief silence. 'do you think you'll be happy with him?'
sunggyu looks torn, eyes darting between her and the wall and the bed.
'you don't have to lie to me,' she tells him. 'please. don't lie to me. do you think you'll be happy with him.'
sunggyu opened his mouth and closed it again, fidgeting. 'yeah,' he says eventually, 'i think i could be.'
yura nods. 'i love you.'
'i l-'
'gyu, please. let me-' yura interrupts with a small laugh, and he quietens. 'i love you,' she repeats, 'i do. but... i think our relationship has run its course. i'm not even upset about you liking woohyun, and i'm not saying that to make you feel better. it was- it was good, but i think now... we might be better off as friends.'
sunggyu exhales loudly and runs a hand through his hair. 'you know i-' he starts and stops. 'i didn't- you know i didn't want this. i didn't want this to be- to be how we ended.'
'i know,' yura says simply. 'but sometimes we can't control what happens.'
they sit in silence for a few moments and yura sighs.
'it would have been our second anniversary tomorrow,' she comments idly and sunggyu lets out a laugh.
'i actually got you something,' he says.
'really?'
he nods and unfolds his legs to climb off the bed, walking past her to his bedside cabinet, opening the drawer and pulling out a small box, handing it to her.
she hesitates in taking it. 'sunggyu-'
'just take it,' he tells her with a small laugh, 'it's yours. it wouldn't suit him anyway,' he adds and she can't help but laugh a little as she opens the box.
it's a necklace, a silver chain with two interlinked silver hearts. yura can't help but smile.
'it's beautiful. thanks.'
sunggyu shrugs. 'consider it a gift from a friend.' he takes it from her hand and motions for her to turn around and she shifts, moving the hair from her neck.
he puts the necklace around her neck, doing it up and moving her hair out of the way, his fingers lingering on the back of her neck. she stays still, her fingers resting on the pendant, and she feels his lips brush just above the necklace clasp and her chest catches. she hears him step away and she turns around to see him staring at her, something unidentifiable in his eyes. he steps forward and leans down, his hand cradling her jaw as he kisses her gently, deeply, bittersweetly, and her hand floats up to his cheek out of habit.
he rests his forehead against hers when he pulls away and whispers 'sorry.'
yura shakes her head minutely. 'it's okay,' she replies, her voice breaking into air. a smile flirts with the dges of sunggyu's lips and he straightens, sitting back down on the bed and shunting up against the wall, his hand floating towards where she knows he keeps his stash, wedged between the bed and wall, covered by a spare blanket.
'you know, i meant what i said,' yura says suddenly, and sunggyu glances at her.
'hmm?'
'about being friends. you can't just forget about me, okay? we are still going to be friends.'
his smile softens his face. 'yeah. of course.' he's silent for a few moments. 'so this is it.'
yura nods and glances down at the ring he'd given her. 'i suppose i should-'
'no, keep it,' sunggyu interrupts her in taking the ring off. 'do what you want with it, but it's yours. you should keep it.'
yura leaves it on. 'okay.'
'you want anything?' sunggyu offers, gesturing towards his hidden stash and yura laughs.
'no. no, thanks, i won't have anything,' she says, shaking her head. 'i should actually be going. you don't have to get up. uh... i'll see you around.'
he nods as she stands up. 'yeah, definitely.'
she gives him a smile and is almost at the door when his soft voice stops her.
'hey, yura?'
she turns. 'yeah?'
he raises his head to meet her eyes. 'thanks.'
a gentle smile pulls at her lips and she nods before walking out and closing the door behind her.
she leans against the wall outside his room and closes her eyes, trying to hear the movement in the room, and she wonders how long he'll wait before delving into his collection.
it'll never not worry her, but she feels as if a burden has lifted from her shoulders. she's glad he's fallen for woohyun, because, while she doesn't know woohyun very well, she's spent enough time around him to know that he'll protect sunggyu as best he can. she hopes he can figure out a way to protect sunggyu from himself, something she was never able to do, to even attempt.
when she gets home, she reached in a drawer and pulls out a pink patterned box, opening it to tinkling music and a slowly rotating ballerina. she takes off the ring and contemplates it for a moment or two before dropping it into the box with the rest of her treasures and closing it, cutting off the music, before packing it away again.
she collapses on her bed and reaches for her pillow, cuddling it in her arms as she stares at the ceiling.
she's not sure how long she lies there, mind drifting from memory to memory, until she rolls over and reaches for her phone.
[yura] tell your brother to take care of him, please
[minah] what
[minah] unni what do you mean
[minah] unni are you okay
yura smiles softly.
[yura] i'm fine
[yura] promise