Tales Of Teenage Angst: Of Dads And Other Men's Boxers
Part 1
Four Months Later
The slam of the front door reverberated through the house, dim echoes of shouting still ringing in Kyuhyun’s ears. He heard cursing and the clink of a bottle and a glass and he emerged from where he’d been standing out of sight behind the wall to make his way slowly downstairs, tentatively peering into the dining room to see Kangin slumped in a chair, his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, a glass of whiskey in front of him.
Kangin glanced up at the slight creak of the floorboards, and rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. ‘Sorry, did we wake you up?’ he asked, and Kyuhyun raised his shoulder in a half shrug.
‘Not really,’ he replied, and Kangin cracked a weak smile.
‘Gaming?’
Kyuhyun ran a hand through his hair as he padded over to the table. ‘Yeah.’
‘You shouldn’t keep yourself up so late on a school night,’ Kangin said with a small chuckle, and Kyuhyun managed a tiny smile as he pulled a chair out for himself, sitting down and resting his heels on the edge of the chair, his arms wrapped around his knees.
There was a minute or so of silenceas Kangin lifted his glass to his lips, glaring at it briefly when he put it down again.
‘Are you leaving?’ Kyuhyun asked quietly, once he’d gotten his voice to cooperate again, forcing the question around the lump of fear in his throat.
Kangin looked at him, surprised. ‘Why would you say that?’
Kyuhyun buried his face in his knees to deter the stinging in his eyes. ‘You and my dad have been fighting a lot recently, and this one was really bad,’ he mumbled in reply, his pajama pants muffling his words.
‘We’ve just been… I’m not leaving.’ Kangin’s voice was gentle. ‘You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Your dad and I… we’re both tired, and he’s been under a lot of stress in the last few weeks. A kid he’s been treating for a few years took a turn for the worse and got really sick about a month ago, and… the kid died today, and Jungsoo’s taking it really hard. He’s taking it out on me, which, yeah, pisses me off a bit, but… it’s part of the package, you know?’
Kyuhyun peered over his legs. ‘Why do you put up with it? My dad’s kind of batshit insane, why do you stick around?’
Kangin leaned back in his chair with a sigh. ‘I love him,’ he said simply, ‘I have no idea why, but I’m completely in love with him and all his crazy. It may not seem like it sometimes, but I really am. It’s the only reason I’d put up with everything. I mean, let’s face it. My sex life is almost non-existent because of the hours we keep, we hardly see each other sometimes, especially when I’m working ER, he comes with you, a kid who… well, let’s be honest, you’re not exactly a walk in the park with the drugs and gaming and general slovenliness, but… that all becomes secondary when I look at him.’
Kyuhyun squeezed his legs tighter. ‘I’m sorry. I’m difficult. I don’t want to be the reason you leave.’
Kangin gave a small chuckle. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Your dad’s the only person I can imagine spending the rest of my life with- and I’m no spring chicken, but I’ve still got a good few years left on me. I wouldn’t give him up for the world. And you’re kind of a huge part of his world, so… I knew he had a kid when the relationship started, and… well, I didn’t know you, but you know what, despite everything, you’re a pretty cool kid, and it’s not hard to care for you.’
Kyuhyun buried his face in his knees again, not knowing what to say.
‘Hey.’ Kyuhyun heard a chair scraping and felt Kangin’s hand on his knee. ‘Hey. Leaving never even crossed my mind. Ever.’
‘Pity,’ Kyuhyun mumbled, a smile pulling at his lips, a sense of relief sweeping over him as he heard Kangin laugh.
Both of their heads turned when they heard the front door creak open, and Kangin rose from his chair as Jungsoo appeared around the corner, his eyes red and puffy and exhausted looking. He gave Kyuhyun a watery smile before turning his attention to Kangin.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said quietly, and Kangin shook his head, stepping forward to envelope Jungsoo in a hug.
‘So am I. It’s okay. I love you.’ Kyuhyun considered gagging at Kangin’s whispered platitudes, but decided against it. It was harder to veto gagging at Kangin giving Jungsoo a kiss, but Kyuhyun valiantly managed it.
He feigned reluctance when Jungsoo beckoned him over, but buried himself in the embrace nonetheless, trying to make himself as short as he could so he could nuzzlehide his face between Jungsoo and Kangin.
They stood there for a few minutes, Kyuhyun studiously ignoring the crick in his neck and ache starting in his bent legs for the quiet comfort.
He let out a grunt (and was thankful it wasn’t a squeak) when Jungsoo poked him in his side.
‘Why aren’t you asleep? It’s past midnight.’
‘You guys totally woke me up, you were really loud,’ Kyuhyun replied, not moving. ‘I came downstairs to see if you needed help disposing of the body.’
Kyuhyun could feel the low rumble of Kangin’s laughter as Jungsoo made a horrified sound. ‘That’s a terrible thing to say, Kyuhyun!’
‘You’re being loud again, I’m trying to sleep here,’ Kyuhyun mumbled.
‘Standing up?’ Kangin laughed, and Kyuhyun finally unfolded himself out of the hug, mashing his hand against Kangin’s face.
‘Whatever. I’m going to sleep now. You guys go all be all gross and schmoopy.’
Kyuhyun raised a hand to the ‘Good night’s that floated after him as he made his way back to his room, smiling in spite of himself.
Two Months Later
‘You’re going to be late for school, and not have had anything to eat,’ Kangin observed as Kyuhyun painstakingly made his coffee in one of the foam cups he had especially for morning when he overslept. He used to just use mugs, but he kept leaving them at school.
‘Coffee is more important than food right now,’ Kyuhyun replied, his eyes not leaving his work of art.
Kangin laughed, and Kyuhyun ignored the bustle behind him.
‘You probably should have left five minutes ago,’ Kangin commented a little while later as Kyuhyun finally finished and took his first sip.
Kyuhyun glanced at the clock and groaned. ‘Shit. But food-‘ he whined even as he began moving towards the door.
‘Made you a sandwich over there,’ Kangin said, indicating said sandwich lying innocently on the breadboard.
Kyuhyun almost did a happy dance as he grabbed it. ‘Thanks, dad.’
Both occupants of the room stilled and a stifling silence filled the room, Kyuhyun refusing to look at Kangin.
‘Gottagobye,’ Kyuhyun tripped over the words at the speed he spat them out and he hurried from the room, grabbing his schoolbag from its general living space by the front door (homework? What’s that?).
He had just wrenched open the front door and was about to flee when a crumpled up piece of paper bounced off his head, and he turned to see Kangin at the foot of the stairs.
‘See you later, son,’ Kangin said, a grin unfurling on his face, and Kyuhyun couldn’t help the grin that curled up around his sandwich hanging from his mouth as he nodded in reply, lifting his coffee cup in greeting before he hurried off to school, feeling a lot happier than he had been before he’d had his coffee.
A/N: Amidst all the funny, we felt it was necessary to show Kangin’s appearance in Kyu’s life, so I wrote this. The dialogue of their first meeting was written by Jess, and was actually the first bit of writing for Tales ever. And yeah. Then it got all serious and shit in the middle, but it was kind of necessary, and then humour reared her… very pretty head and everything went back to normal. Kind of. This is probably going to be one of VERY few chapters with a hint of seriousness in it. After PWF (which I haven’t finished yet, so maybe more in between) we decided to look on the lighter side of drug use. WHICH DOES NOT MEAN WE’RE TRIVIALISING IT. DRUGS ARE DANGEROUS, AND ANYONE WHO DECIDES TO USE THEM MUST GO INTO IT KNOWING FULL WELL JUST HOW DANGEROUS THEY ARE. There are a few drugs we will not touch on in a joking manner, heroin and crystal meth being the two main ones. Just. No. Okay. Hope you enjoyed it~
EDIT: Because this puts it in words far prettier than any I could hope to conjure, and I feel it's important:
'First, use of these drugs may be dangerous. However, every worth-while exploration is dangerous-climbing mountains, testing aircraft, rocketing into outer space, skin diving, or collecting botanical specimens in jungles. But if you value knowledge and the actual delight of exploration more than mere duration of uneventful life, you are willing to take the risks. It is not really healthy for monks to practice fasting, and it was hardly hygienic for Jesus to get himself crucified, but these are risks taken in the course of spiritual adventures. Today the adventurous young are taking risks in exploring the psyche, testing their mettle at the task just as, in times past, they have tested it-more violently-in hunting, dueling, hot-rod racing, and playing football. What they need is not prohibitions and policemen, but the most intelligent encouragement and advice that can be found.' - Alan Watts, Psychedelics and Religious Experience (essay)