holy balls it's been a while.
Well well well, thanks to nate, i'm updating and showin some love to my LJ.
Sooo.. what the fuck has been up? absolutely SHIT. nothing exciting happens anymore.. i have hardly anything to talk about due to my lack of time.. and lack of social life. me and myspace have also been getting pretty serious. . i think i may be obsessed. I'm going to havta delete it before next semester because if i get in front of the computer, i find it more fun to bullshit than study.. and i'm taking 6 classes (yea.. that's 18 hours).
I feel like i havn't been myself lately.. as a matter of fact.. i know i havn't. I feel like I've totally dropped off the edge of this cliff and there's no ledges for me to climb back up on. but, hey.. i guess thats fucking life.
Boys? Well danny and I have hung out a few times.. very enjoyable and relaxing times. the thing i love about that kid is that I can be myself all around.. uncensored and comfortable. As for other circumstances and people, it's all very clear to me that people want what is good for themselves.. and themselves only. Which, I guess, is perfectly fine with me.. considering everyone can be selfish.. but the worst part, is that I knowingly volunteered for this bullshit and to be the punchline of the joke.. it makes me appreciate even more the people who have been real with me and who have truly cared about me as a person...seeing as how this person has no idea who the hell i really am... which i also consider his loss and mistake.. but also very typical and routine of him. I'm missing Danny and the way he loved me.. and appreciated everything about me... and still cares about me endlessly.. but life is all about new experiences and learning from them.. or maybe it's just fucking wishful thinking.. eventually, I will be all alone. just so happens to be my biggest fear. go figure.
I'm moving out soon.. i can't wait.. hopefully into a house. I can't wait to get the hell out of my house and be able to seclude myself from the fucked-up-edness of the way things have gone in the new port richey. I leave my house because i'm lonely there.. i realize when i leave my house that it's worse to be with people you care about.. and yet still feel like you're all by yourself. this way.. i get to stay home.. select people i will see.. save on gas.. smoke at my house so i dont have to drive my ass around.. and i can get shit done. I can't fucking wait!
I'm deffinitly going to have to keep up with this.. that venting felt really fucking sweet.
Sooo.. what the fuck has been up? absolutely SHIT. nothing exciting happens anymore.. i have hardly anything to talk about due to my lack of time.. and lack of social life. me and myspace have also been getting pretty serious. . i think i may be obsessed. I'm going to havta delete it before next semester because if i get in front of the computer, i find it more fun to bullshit than study.. and i'm taking 6 classes (yea.. that's 18 hours).
I feel like i havn't been myself lately.. as a matter of fact.. i know i havn't. I feel like I've totally dropped off the edge of this cliff and there's no ledges for me to climb back up on. but, hey.. i guess thats fucking life.
Boys? Well danny and I have hung out a few times.. very enjoyable and relaxing times. the thing i love about that kid is that I can be myself all around.. uncensored and comfortable. As for other circumstances and people, it's all very clear to me that people want what is good for themselves.. and themselves only. Which, I guess, is perfectly fine with me.. considering everyone can be selfish.. but the worst part, is that I knowingly volunteered for this bullshit and to be the punchline of the joke.. it makes me appreciate even more the people who have been real with me and who have truly cared about me as a person...seeing as how this person has no idea who the hell i really am... which i also consider his loss and mistake.. but also very typical and routine of him. I'm missing Danny and the way he loved me.. and appreciated everything about me... and still cares about me endlessly.. but life is all about new experiences and learning from them.. or maybe it's just fucking wishful thinking.. eventually, I will be all alone. just so happens to be my biggest fear. go figure.
I'm moving out soon.. i can't wait.. hopefully into a house. I can't wait to get the hell out of my house and be able to seclude myself from the fucked-up-edness of the way things have gone in the new port richey. I leave my house because i'm lonely there.. i realize when i leave my house that it's worse to be with people you care about.. and yet still feel like you're all by yourself. this way.. i get to stay home.. select people i will see.. save on gas.. smoke at my house so i dont have to drive my ass around.. and i can get shit done. I can't fucking wait!
I'm deffinitly going to have to keep up with this.. that venting felt really fucking sweet.