(no subject)
this box that I built, is getting to crowded for me..all I have to blame is myself though
it sucks when you realize that you no longer want or cant be who you "are"
last night I had a wonderful conversation with a three year old I met at music under the stars..he informed as he pointed to the moon, with wide eyes..that it was to far to go to..a three year old who thinks the moon is to far? how sad that the hope has already left him
* a pic to show how adorable he is *
i drove home tonight with the music off because i couldnt deal with other peoples words in my head
i cant purge my emotions by crying anymore..im numb to what it used to feel like to be relieved of frustration, anger, dissapointment
i cant be weak i tell myself..
everyone has a story to tell, and though many believe their story or their lives are theirs and theirs alone..they aren't...there is society, and your family, and your friends, and..reality...and each parts sucks a little more out of your story..."your story"...how funny
i realized everything comes back to sex..why is that...a totally unexpected confrontation...that i thought would save my sanity..if for just a second...and all i did was realize that i fall back into old habits at the drop of a hat "wow....i really want to deal with more of you're depressive, attention hungry mood..good bye"..all after asked for my bra size, where upon i replied "too bad that was more important than my favorite book or what my smile looks like when im genuinely happy"
im not the girl who breaks down or fakes a smile for the crowd...but the reality is that i am..and thats the bottom line
i guess im glad that the box im in isnt visible, little gawking to be had on the parts of others
it sucks when you realize that you no longer want or cant be who you "are"
last night I had a wonderful conversation with a three year old I met at music under the stars..he informed as he pointed to the moon, with wide eyes..that it was to far to go to..a three year old who thinks the moon is to far? how sad that the hope has already left him
* a pic to show how adorable he is *
i drove home tonight with the music off because i couldnt deal with other peoples words in my head
i cant purge my emotions by crying anymore..im numb to what it used to feel like to be relieved of frustration, anger, dissapointment
i cant be weak i tell myself..
everyone has a story to tell, and though many believe their story or their lives are theirs and theirs alone..they aren't...there is society, and your family, and your friends, and..reality...and each parts sucks a little more out of your story..."your story"...how funny
i realized everything comes back to sex..why is that...a totally unexpected confrontation...that i thought would save my sanity..if for just a second...and all i did was realize that i fall back into old habits at the drop of a hat "wow....i really want to deal with more of you're depressive, attention hungry mood..good bye"..all after asked for my bra size, where upon i replied "too bad that was more important than my favorite book or what my smile looks like when im genuinely happy"
im not the girl who breaks down or fakes a smile for the crowd...but the reality is that i am..and thats the bottom line
i guess im glad that the box im in isnt visible, little gawking to be had on the parts of others