Ode To The Sun (Lovesong)
Title: Ode To The Sun
Pairing: Jiyong/Seungri
Rating: PG13
Summary: I hate this lovesong.
Note: Sorry for spamming you guys with fics these days, I think this is the last one for a while. I wrote this after seeing this picture of Jiyong watching Seungri filming- or at least I think it's Jiyong watching him, I don't know. What I know is, I was listening to Lovesong, and I saw this, and then that came out.
Ode to the sun.
(Lovesong)
It was a beautiful day and I love the sea and I love you so I thought where’s the harm in toes in the sand, where’s the harm in staring a little, I wanted to look at you when you look like you’re gonna disappear, I wanted the fear I feel when I think you might finally grow those wings back and fly away.
They think I'm strange. It doesn't matter. I might act like I do, but I don’t care, really, they might speak in words I half-understand and make fun of my hats but I don’t care, believe me, you’re mine despite the hats and the shoes and my huge-ass teeth soI guess I can conquer the world because you’re mine and you say you’re mine in your sleep and you look so painfully pretty with the sea at your back.
What are you waiting for they asked and I said just passing my time, just waiting for a call, drinking ice tea here and watching those men dance around him while he’s busy being dramatic and pretend-hurt, isn’t he a funny little clown, that one, mine.
They laughed.
But they should all see you one of those nights, you know, when I leave and don’t come back, when you sleep on the couch with your knees to your chest and seunghyun calls my cell and his voice is scary-low and he says come back jiyong and he says please.
They should see you when you’re denying me everything and I’m pouring sugar into ash-black coffee, they should see us singing lovesongs to eachother with venom dripping down our chins, they should see the way you dance like you want to cut through the air.
They should see us when I knock on your door and you never answer, but I come in anyway because I wouldn’t mistake your breathing for the world and yes, if you’re asleep I’ll wake you, climbing on top of you usually does that and you just pull at my clothes afterwards.
'
They said you’re doing it wrong and I shook my head and though no, he never does anything wrong, his mistakes are exactly right, this is what I am, this is what I am, one of the traps he fell in.
I don’t regret a thing, none of the sticks and stones that broke your bones.
It’s funny but- what if I said I’m not sick of this, panda, what if I said it’s ok if we do it forever? What if I said it’s really strange what you do to me and what I’m willing to do to you, what sharp and shiny things I’m ready to cut you with, only to lick at the wounds afterwards?
The men on the sand smiled and you smiled back easily, thoughtlessly, and I got a little jealous, I got a little look at me, show me that you see- there’s this terrible unfairness between you and I, you don’t have that selective vision thing I have, you don’t have dysfunctional lungs or crazy heartbeats, and I don’t have the ability to make you visibly insane.
I didn’t like the sand much at that point, I didn’t like the sun or the sea or your black black hair and I was thinking of holding your head underwater until you screamed my name or till I started to get out of breath.
I scare me sometimes, but thoughts are just thoughts and the extent to which I’ll hurt you is only verbal, I’m a coward and I love you, I’m a person and I’m wrong, but you’re wrong too, you’ve been keeping me on a leash, on a leash for years and you even have the audacity to tell me I can go.
So the men danced around you with cameras and mirrors -like you can get any brighter- and the sand was ugly and cold and the sunset was fake and that tacky kind of pastel, but then the men left with footprints on the sand and the cars left with silent groans and I was just there, no-one looked at me, no-one screamed my name and I was wondering, am I really here or does it mean I am nowhere unless you see me?
But you were gone and I was there and remembered that song of mine, she’s gone, she’s gone, he’s gone he’s gone and he finally did the wrong thing, I was waiting, I was building a fort of lyrics around me for when the time comes.
I tend to get a little too dramatic sometimes, you know that, I broke the bathroom mirror once and the blood scared you so much I’ll never do anything like that again- I hated the way your hands shook to match your voice.
I break things in my head now, mostly.
I wrote a song in five minutes on the sand that day, it was called I hate you lee seunghyun and it was a repetitive kind of ode to you and all the ways you can break me, break me clean through.
It was epic and tragic and it made no sense.
I’ve forgotten how it goes though, because you came back.
You came back and you made a mess, sand everywhere, sand in my ice tea and my white shoes and I said what the fuck and you said I’m talking to you again.
So I said, oh.
I told them all to go, you said, we’ll go back on our own, told them your English is good enough.
It’s not.
Well, I lied.
You smiled. What do we do now?
I said I did not know, I thought kiss me you fool under this pretty pastel sunset, I thought let’s elope, let’s take the car and take the rest and let’s escape all these things I love so much, teach me how to need nothing but you and Daesung’s voice in the evening, when the sky turns red.
You said, ice cream, and leaned in to kiss my shoulder.
Chocolate chip.
I shrugged and clutched your hand, hard, hard, said yes, that will do, that will do too.
AN: Yeah, I don't even know. :)
Pairing: Jiyong/Seungri
Rating: PG13
Summary: I hate this lovesong.
Note: Sorry for spamming you guys with fics these days, I think this is the last one for a while. I wrote this after seeing this picture of Jiyong watching Seungri filming- or at least I think it's Jiyong watching him, I don't know. What I know is, I was listening to Lovesong, and I saw this, and then that came out.
Ode to the sun.
(Lovesong)
It was a beautiful day and I love the sea and I love you so I thought where’s the harm in toes in the sand, where’s the harm in staring a little, I wanted to look at you when you look like you’re gonna disappear, I wanted the fear I feel when I think you might finally grow those wings back and fly away.
They think I'm strange. It doesn't matter. I might act like I do, but I don’t care, really, they might speak in words I half-understand and make fun of my hats but I don’t care, believe me, you’re mine despite the hats and the shoes and my huge-ass teeth soI guess I can conquer the world because you’re mine and you say you’re mine in your sleep and you look so painfully pretty with the sea at your back.
What are you waiting for they asked and I said just passing my time, just waiting for a call, drinking ice tea here and watching those men dance around him while he’s busy being dramatic and pretend-hurt, isn’t he a funny little clown, that one, mine.
They laughed.
But they should all see you one of those nights, you know, when I leave and don’t come back, when you sleep on the couch with your knees to your chest and seunghyun calls my cell and his voice is scary-low and he says come back jiyong and he says please.
They should see you when you’re denying me everything and I’m pouring sugar into ash-black coffee, they should see us singing lovesongs to eachother with venom dripping down our chins, they should see the way you dance like you want to cut through the air.
They should see us when I knock on your door and you never answer, but I come in anyway because I wouldn’t mistake your breathing for the world and yes, if you’re asleep I’ll wake you, climbing on top of you usually does that and you just pull at my clothes afterwards.
'
They said you’re doing it wrong and I shook my head and though no, he never does anything wrong, his mistakes are exactly right, this is what I am, this is what I am, one of the traps he fell in.
I don’t regret a thing, none of the sticks and stones that broke your bones.
It’s funny but- what if I said I’m not sick of this, panda, what if I said it’s ok if we do it forever? What if I said it’s really strange what you do to me and what I’m willing to do to you, what sharp and shiny things I’m ready to cut you with, only to lick at the wounds afterwards?
The men on the sand smiled and you smiled back easily, thoughtlessly, and I got a little jealous, I got a little look at me, show me that you see- there’s this terrible unfairness between you and I, you don’t have that selective vision thing I have, you don’t have dysfunctional lungs or crazy heartbeats, and I don’t have the ability to make you visibly insane.
I didn’t like the sand much at that point, I didn’t like the sun or the sea or your black black hair and I was thinking of holding your head underwater until you screamed my name or till I started to get out of breath.
I scare me sometimes, but thoughts are just thoughts and the extent to which I’ll hurt you is only verbal, I’m a coward and I love you, I’m a person and I’m wrong, but you’re wrong too, you’ve been keeping me on a leash, on a leash for years and you even have the audacity to tell me I can go.
So the men danced around you with cameras and mirrors -like you can get any brighter- and the sand was ugly and cold and the sunset was fake and that tacky kind of pastel, but then the men left with footprints on the sand and the cars left with silent groans and I was just there, no-one looked at me, no-one screamed my name and I was wondering, am I really here or does it mean I am nowhere unless you see me?
But you were gone and I was there and remembered that song of mine, she’s gone, she’s gone, he’s gone he’s gone and he finally did the wrong thing, I was waiting, I was building a fort of lyrics around me for when the time comes.
I tend to get a little too dramatic sometimes, you know that, I broke the bathroom mirror once and the blood scared you so much I’ll never do anything like that again- I hated the way your hands shook to match your voice.
I break things in my head now, mostly.
I wrote a song in five minutes on the sand that day, it was called I hate you lee seunghyun and it was a repetitive kind of ode to you and all the ways you can break me, break me clean through.
It was epic and tragic and it made no sense.
I’ve forgotten how it goes though, because you came back.
You came back and you made a mess, sand everywhere, sand in my ice tea and my white shoes and I said what the fuck and you said I’m talking to you again.
So I said, oh.
I told them all to go, you said, we’ll go back on our own, told them your English is good enough.
It’s not.
Well, I lied.
You smiled. What do we do now?
I said I did not know, I thought kiss me you fool under this pretty pastel sunset, I thought let’s elope, let’s take the car and take the rest and let’s escape all these things I love so much, teach me how to need nothing but you and Daesung’s voice in the evening, when the sky turns red.
You said, ice cream, and leaned in to kiss my shoulder.
Chocolate chip.
I shrugged and clutched your hand, hard, hard, said yes, that will do, that will do too.
AN: Yeah, I don't even know. :)