(no subject)
Dear Santa,
So it's December 1, 2005. My last Christmas in high school. My last Christmas while living at home. I decided to write you and tell you what I really want in my life.
For Christmas this year all I want is to be happy. Not that whole "hey I'm happy for 20 minutes" crap. I want to be happy. Genuinely happy. Inside and out. In every aspect of my life.
I want for once, just one time, for my dad to call me to see how I'm doing. I'm not 12 anymore. I know that when I cry to my mom about him never calling anymore and 15 minutes later he calls, it's because my mom talked to him and told him to call. I hate knowing that he despises football and still goes to all of his girlfriend's sons games just to make her happy and then can't even make the effort to go to my soccer games. I know he cares, I just really wish he would show it more. And my mom shouldn't have to remind him of that.
Now about my mom. I want my brother to respect her. And not think that he can treat her the way he does. She doesn't deserve it. This is probably the most distant my mom and I have been since after I was grounded for those 9 long months freshman and sophomore year. We became so close because I couldn't go anywhere. She became my best friend. And she still is. But yet I feel so distant. I want so badly to sit down with her and tell her everything. All the stupid stuff I've ever done, the serious stuff, and everything inbetween. I know she wants me to be happy, and that she supports me in every way possible but I can't be happy if I know she won't accept everything I've done. Supporting and accepting are two totally different things. I guess Bri was right, I'm stuck in a pretty big rut right now. And I don't want to be.
So I know that asking for you to make me happy is impossible. I just wanted to let you know that there is nothing else in the world that I want more than to be happy.
Sincerly,
Kady