My Biggest Fault. Myself.
I never accomplish the goals I make for myself. I am constantly letting MYSELF down, which of course always has a domino effect/affect. (I have never been able to learn which one of those words to use.) I make promises to myself that I never keep. THAT is the cause of my unhappiness. I'm not who I want to be. I never am. I get incredibly frustrated and irritated when people complain of being bored. There are so, So, SOOoOoOo many things to do in life. Everyday when I wake up in the morning lists and lists filled with things that I want to do chaotically stream across my mind. Everyday, without fail, I go to bed regretting all the things that I didn't accomplish, the goals I didn't reach, the things I didn't read or lookup, the people I didn't call...etc. But I think, "Hey it's ok. Tomorrow's a new day, right? A fresh chance to start over, to change." Yet I never do. You'd think I just would if I wanted to so badly, huh? That might be true. "If there's a will, there's a way." "Anything's poss ible." Somehow though, I never do. It's worse when I prioritize things. B/c then, these prioritized things on my mental "to do list" just keep piling on top of eachother as steadily as dirty underwear. Ok, gross simile. EW, wait. I just thought of how so me guys don't change their boxers/briefs..whatever everyday. ew EW EW! Ok ANYWAY. You get the idea. There are so many things on my mind right now its ridiculous. So how am I supposed to expect the things I look for in a guy if I can't even be all those th ings myself.? Can't. It's not possible. It's gonna be a long time before I ever date anyone seriously...b/c...it's gonna take a long time for me to be who I want to be. What has happened to me? I'm a mess. Maybe for me, things have to get really bad befo re they can get better.
Janelle always writes about how everyone is so self-centered and such. No doubt I am too (obviously, this entry a clear example.) more than I'd like to be...along with many other people. But nomatter how good it makes someone feel to do good for other people, there will still always be that emptiness inside if one never accomplishes things for themselves. Balance. It's the key to EVERYTHING.
e
Janelle always writes about how everyone is so self-centered and such. No doubt I am too (obviously, this entry a clear example.) more than I'd like to be...along with many other people. But nomatter how good it makes someone feel to do good for other people, there will still always be that emptiness inside if one never accomplishes things for themselves. Balance. It's the key to EVERYTHING.
e