I'm so proud of myself!!!
Things were going well between Tiffanie and I, but I guess she decided I wasn't the direction she wanted to go in. As much as that hurts, given that I really liked her, I'm going to keep my chin up, take a couple of days to recoup, and hit the game again. I even CRIED over this, but I've thought it out and I realized why.
I wasn't terribly attached...we "went out" for only about a week. HOWEVER! It hurt so much because this is all new to me. This was my first attempt at this game, and I failed. Up until now, I havn't dated. When it comes to dating, I'm retarded. And I mean that in the literal sense, meaning slow/under developed. Instead of dating and getting all these rejection/screw-up pains in highschool, I was too busy hiding from an angry, drunk stepfather and the rest of the world while I was at it.
BUT THAT'S OKAY!!! I took a chance! I put myself out there! YES, I got hurt! But I'm not as dead as I once thought I was. I'm alive and well. The fact that I made that attempt with little hesitation is a milestone for me! This was just what it needed to be: a lesson. And what did I learn? Not to get so excited so easily or so early. That, even though dating is fun, I should enjoy it for what it is: a fun way to meet and get to know people.
And I'll use it as just that. Though I'm expecting it to hurt the next few times still, I'll do what I'm doing now: use it to grow up and move on. This is what I've needed, and this is what leaving my shell has done for me: given me experience and a little bit of confidence in the process. In an odd way, I'm very glad this happened. I needed it for what it was: an experience.
I wasn't terribly attached...we "went out" for only about a week. HOWEVER! It hurt so much because this is all new to me. This was my first attempt at this game, and I failed. Up until now, I havn't dated. When it comes to dating, I'm retarded. And I mean that in the literal sense, meaning slow/under developed. Instead of dating and getting all these rejection/screw-up pains in highschool, I was too busy hiding from an angry, drunk stepfather and the rest of the world while I was at it.
BUT THAT'S OKAY!!! I took a chance! I put myself out there! YES, I got hurt! But I'm not as dead as I once thought I was. I'm alive and well. The fact that I made that attempt with little hesitation is a milestone for me! This was just what it needed to be: a lesson. And what did I learn? Not to get so excited so easily or so early. That, even though dating is fun, I should enjoy it for what it is: a fun way to meet and get to know people.
And I'll use it as just that. Though I'm expecting it to hurt the next few times still, I'll do what I'm doing now: use it to grow up and move on. This is what I've needed, and this is what leaving my shell has done for me: given me experience and a little bit of confidence in the process. In an odd way, I'm very glad this happened. I needed it for what it was: an experience.