Songfic: I will possess your heart
Title: I will possess your heart.
Rating: PG
Genre: Songfic. Angst.
Notes: Based on the song "I will possess your heart" by Death Cab for Cutie. My first angst. WHY DID I DO IT. I DON'T WRITE ANGST. I WRITE CRACK. I SHOULD KEEP TO CRACK. D:
How I wish you could see the potential
The potential of you and me.
It’s like a book elegantly bound,
But in a language that you can’t read just yet.
Four years it has been; four years since Yuuto first laid eyes upon Ryosuke across the rehearsal room, packed with juniors, and knowing even then that he was going to be special. Four years worth of memories, that brings both a smile and a tear to Yuuto’s eye as he remembers them. Four years of the greatest kind of friendship, and four years of being ignored.
Four years of unrequited love.
Ryosuke just can’t see it- can’t see how perfect they look together, even if for Yuuto it is as plain as day. Yuuto longs for that moment, when Ryosuke will realise their shared destinies; and even after four long years, he is certain that moment will come.
You’ve got to spend some time, love,
You’ve got to spend some time with me.
And I know that you’ll find love,
I will possess your heart.
One kiss. That’s all it would take, Yuuto knew. A time with just him and Ryosuke, and no-one else. Being in a ten-member group means never being alone, but what Yuuto wants more than anything is Ryosuke’s full attention, uninterrupted by others. He may seem selfish, but he can’t help but truly feel a strong, searing jealousy in his heart whenever he sees Ryosuke spending more time with other people than he does with him.
Yuuto has imagined the scene countless times- there they stand together, alone in the dressing room. Yuuto would step closer to Ryosuke, brush away the hair from his eyes and cradle his face in his hands. Ryosuke would look up at him curiously, look him in the eye for the first time in years, how he looked at Yuuto when he first stared back across the rehearsal room. Slowly, he would bring their lips together, and they would revel in the warmth the kiss would produce, stay like that for a long, long time. When they would finally part, they would stay as they were, not moving or making a sound. Words and actions would not be needed; Yuuto would already know that Ryosuke was now his.
There are days when outside your window,
I see my reflection as I slowly pass.
And I long for this mirror-perspective,
When we’ll be lovers, lovers at last.
Yuuto arrives at Ryosuke’s house in the early morning, bag slung over shoulder, like he has always done. They have always walked to school together- it is the most cherished part of Yuuto’s day. He stops outside on the footpath, seeing Ryosuke through the front window. His breath hitches as he looks at him- eyes down, preparing his lunch at the kitchen bench. Turning his head back to talk to someone in the room.
Something next to Ryosuke catches Yuuto’s eye, and when he looks over he finds himself staring back. There is a Yuuto in Ryosuke’s house, standing by his side, who is there in the morning as he goes about his daily activities. Yuuto wishes that more than just his reflection could be there, that he could be with the one he loves instead of standing forlornly outside, waiting.
When he comes back to reality, Ryosuke is staring at him and Yuuto jumps. He gives a half smile, which Ryosuke returns with a nod and a wave, before disappearing from the window, leaving Yuuto and his reflection alone. A moment later he’s out the door, barely greeting Yuuto and not even stopping to wait for him as he heads off down the footpath. Yuuto wills himself not to break down by how he is ignored every day.
You’ve got to spend some time, love,
You’ve got to spend some time with me.
And I know that you’ll find love,
I will possess your heart.
“Ne Yama-chan, do you want to go out together this weekend?” asks Yuuto to a Ryosuke reading manga. “I’ll pay, my treat.”
Ryosuke doesn’t even look up at Yuuto when he declines, saying something about plans with Chinen. Yuuto tries not to kick something as he walks away.
“Yama-chan, I need to talk to you for a moment” Yuuto tries again, beckoning him over to the dressing room. Ryosuke follows him in, and for a heart-racing moment it is just the two of them alone, just as he had imagined.
Ryosuke fixes his hair in the mirror, talking about their new costumes for the upcoming performance and all the dance moves they would need to learn. Yuuto decides to wait until Ryosuke is quiet before making his move.
When Ryosuke finally quietens down, Yuuto is just about to step forward, just about to say his name, when Yabu enters the dressing room to inform them that they should be upstairs for the photoshoot.
“Hai hai” says Ryosuke smiling, taking one last look in the mirror before heading out the door. Yuuto stays behind, never feeling as alone in his life as he does now.
You reject my advances and desperate pleas.
I won’t let you let me down so easily.
It is alone in the empty dressing room that Yuuto’s patience finally snaps. Four years of being the best friend a person could ask for, and four years of having it thrown back in his face. Four years of loving, and loving, and Yuuto hates how no matter what he does he can’t ever get that love returned. Being so close to having his torture put to an end is too much for Yuuto, and without control of his actions he is out of the dressing room, up the stairs, searching for Ryosuke so that he can do what he should have done years ago.
Ryosuke is standing alone next to the doorway that Yuuto walks through, who immediately pulls him outside and presses him against a wall. Before Ryosuke can sound his protests Yuuto’s lips are on his.
The first few moments are utter bliss- Ryosuke’s lips feel just like Yuuto has imagined them, their warmth filling up his entire body, his hands cupping Ryosuke’s cheeks sending a shiver down his spine.
It doesn’t take long for him to realise, though, that Ryosuke is struggling. Eyes wide in horror, Ryosuke’s hands grasp Yuuto’s arms to push him off. Yuuto is confused- this is wrong. This isn’t how it’s meant to be at all.
Ryosuke struggles with his entire body and pushes him harshly away, sending Yuuto stumbling back, dazed. They stare at each other for a moment; Ryosuke looks as if he’s about to say something, but nothing comes. His expression is a mixture of disgust and fear, and Yuuto can feel his heart shatter as the full weight of the situation comes crashing down upon him.
You’ve got to spend some time, love,
You’ve got to spend some time with me.
And I know that you’ll find love,
I will possess your heart.
Ryosuke turns and runs. Yuuto sinks to the floor.
Rating: PG
Genre: Songfic. Angst.
Notes: Based on the song "I will possess your heart" by Death Cab for Cutie. My first angst. WHY DID I DO IT. I DON'T WRITE ANGST. I WRITE CRACK. I SHOULD KEEP TO CRACK. D:
How I wish you could see the potential
The potential of you and me.
It’s like a book elegantly bound,
But in a language that you can’t read just yet.
Four years it has been; four years since Yuuto first laid eyes upon Ryosuke across the rehearsal room, packed with juniors, and knowing even then that he was going to be special. Four years worth of memories, that brings both a smile and a tear to Yuuto’s eye as he remembers them. Four years of the greatest kind of friendship, and four years of being ignored.
Four years of unrequited love.
Ryosuke just can’t see it- can’t see how perfect they look together, even if for Yuuto it is as plain as day. Yuuto longs for that moment, when Ryosuke will realise their shared destinies; and even after four long years, he is certain that moment will come.
You’ve got to spend some time, love,
You’ve got to spend some time with me.
And I know that you’ll find love,
I will possess your heart.
One kiss. That’s all it would take, Yuuto knew. A time with just him and Ryosuke, and no-one else. Being in a ten-member group means never being alone, but what Yuuto wants more than anything is Ryosuke’s full attention, uninterrupted by others. He may seem selfish, but he can’t help but truly feel a strong, searing jealousy in his heart whenever he sees Ryosuke spending more time with other people than he does with him.
Yuuto has imagined the scene countless times- there they stand together, alone in the dressing room. Yuuto would step closer to Ryosuke, brush away the hair from his eyes and cradle his face in his hands. Ryosuke would look up at him curiously, look him in the eye for the first time in years, how he looked at Yuuto when he first stared back across the rehearsal room. Slowly, he would bring their lips together, and they would revel in the warmth the kiss would produce, stay like that for a long, long time. When they would finally part, they would stay as they were, not moving or making a sound. Words and actions would not be needed; Yuuto would already know that Ryosuke was now his.
There are days when outside your window,
I see my reflection as I slowly pass.
And I long for this mirror-perspective,
When we’ll be lovers, lovers at last.
Yuuto arrives at Ryosuke’s house in the early morning, bag slung over shoulder, like he has always done. They have always walked to school together- it is the most cherished part of Yuuto’s day. He stops outside on the footpath, seeing Ryosuke through the front window. His breath hitches as he looks at him- eyes down, preparing his lunch at the kitchen bench. Turning his head back to talk to someone in the room.
Something next to Ryosuke catches Yuuto’s eye, and when he looks over he finds himself staring back. There is a Yuuto in Ryosuke’s house, standing by his side, who is there in the morning as he goes about his daily activities. Yuuto wishes that more than just his reflection could be there, that he could be with the one he loves instead of standing forlornly outside, waiting.
When he comes back to reality, Ryosuke is staring at him and Yuuto jumps. He gives a half smile, which Ryosuke returns with a nod and a wave, before disappearing from the window, leaving Yuuto and his reflection alone. A moment later he’s out the door, barely greeting Yuuto and not even stopping to wait for him as he heads off down the footpath. Yuuto wills himself not to break down by how he is ignored every day.
You’ve got to spend some time, love,
You’ve got to spend some time with me.
And I know that you’ll find love,
I will possess your heart.
“Ne Yama-chan, do you want to go out together this weekend?” asks Yuuto to a Ryosuke reading manga. “I’ll pay, my treat.”
Ryosuke doesn’t even look up at Yuuto when he declines, saying something about plans with Chinen. Yuuto tries not to kick something as he walks away.
“Yama-chan, I need to talk to you for a moment” Yuuto tries again, beckoning him over to the dressing room. Ryosuke follows him in, and for a heart-racing moment it is just the two of them alone, just as he had imagined.
Ryosuke fixes his hair in the mirror, talking about their new costumes for the upcoming performance and all the dance moves they would need to learn. Yuuto decides to wait until Ryosuke is quiet before making his move.
When Ryosuke finally quietens down, Yuuto is just about to step forward, just about to say his name, when Yabu enters the dressing room to inform them that they should be upstairs for the photoshoot.
“Hai hai” says Ryosuke smiling, taking one last look in the mirror before heading out the door. Yuuto stays behind, never feeling as alone in his life as he does now.
You reject my advances and desperate pleas.
I won’t let you let me down so easily.
It is alone in the empty dressing room that Yuuto’s patience finally snaps. Four years of being the best friend a person could ask for, and four years of having it thrown back in his face. Four years of loving, and loving, and Yuuto hates how no matter what he does he can’t ever get that love returned. Being so close to having his torture put to an end is too much for Yuuto, and without control of his actions he is out of the dressing room, up the stairs, searching for Ryosuke so that he can do what he should have done years ago.
Ryosuke is standing alone next to the doorway that Yuuto walks through, who immediately pulls him outside and presses him against a wall. Before Ryosuke can sound his protests Yuuto’s lips are on his.
The first few moments are utter bliss- Ryosuke’s lips feel just like Yuuto has imagined them, their warmth filling up his entire body, his hands cupping Ryosuke’s cheeks sending a shiver down his spine.
It doesn’t take long for him to realise, though, that Ryosuke is struggling. Eyes wide in horror, Ryosuke’s hands grasp Yuuto’s arms to push him off. Yuuto is confused- this is wrong. This isn’t how it’s meant to be at all.
Ryosuke struggles with his entire body and pushes him harshly away, sending Yuuto stumbling back, dazed. They stare at each other for a moment; Ryosuke looks as if he’s about to say something, but nothing comes. His expression is a mixture of disgust and fear, and Yuuto can feel his heart shatter as the full weight of the situation comes crashing down upon him.
You’ve got to spend some time, love,
You’ve got to spend some time with me.
And I know that you’ll find love,
I will possess your heart.
Ryosuke turns and runs. Yuuto sinks to the floor.