Bali- "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
Yes, I have stolen from Dickens- but that quote completely describes my trip to Bali. Those of you that received my giddy e-mail on my first full day... how was I to know that would be the only sunny day and the rest, plus I did leave out a thing or two. So...
I found Bali to be exotic and sadly full of trash. Beautiful and not so depending on where you looked. Very nice people and annoying touts. Seriously the trip was full of ups and downs some of which I have detailed below. I also found it more expensive than Thailand. The following is long and rambling. I am getting my pictures organized on snapfish. If you want a link let me know. I might try to add one to this, depends on how tired I am by the time I finish typing.
My plane was supposed to leave at 0830. We ended up leaving after 5 delays at 1400 which put us in Bali, not at noon but around 1830. So I goggled at the sites comparing similarities and differences to Thailand on the drive to my first hotel. Which seemed to be further out than I expected from the Internet map. When we turned down a single lane road surrounded by rice paddies and with cattle wandering about I was convinced. The hotel was lovely and I was ever so excited about my room- bed with mosquito netting and the all important outdoor bathroom reached by an impossibly intricate set of doors. The room also included mosquito spray, coils, and electronic bug zapper. I discovered I needed them all- especially the nets on the bed. And while an outdoor bathroom in theory seems romantic/exotic/etc. Having a giant spider compete with you at three in the morning for the toilet, having to shake out your towels before each use to dislodge bugs, and having it pour down rain (blow in)on you while you shower or worse while peeing was not so hot. This was balanced slightly by the naughty feeling of being naked and showering outside.
So, first hotel near beach. In reality 5 minute walk through a field, past two family compounds and down a concrete tunnel funneling water to rice fields. Beach is black sand with nothing. No chairs to rent, no food vendors, no other people. Sigh. Decide to walk into town. Looks close on map and have been hiking everywhere in Bangkok. 20 minutes later, I have still not reached a main road and bargain with 2 boys in a truck for a ride into Seminyak. Only got taken for x2 the actual price of a taxi as I discovered later. Not so bad for not knowing. Immediately get lost in town as no map I downloaded from the Internet bears any real resemblance to anyplace in Bali. Three different persons tell me 3 different things, luckily in English as my bahasa indonesian was poor. The good news was I was using my Thai well, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
Bali so desperately needs its tourists back. There is a ton of security everywhere. Few tourists meant that if anyone selling anything saw one you were relentlessly followed. So, I forgot how to speak English. I spoke only in Thai with a few broken phrases "Bangkok" "No, English", etc. My talent for having the local equivalent of a sleazy truck driver hit on me was working. While I was looking at my map to find a shop, Mr. Scary, with gold chains, unbuttoned shirt, beer belly, and greasy ponytail tried to pick me up. Well actually he was more blunt and just wanted me to come up to his room over his shop and ... Tell him he is vulgar in Thai while looking confused, smile and walk off after mangling "good-bye" in bahasa.
At this point I should explain about Balinese names. Everyone is named the same 5 or 6 things depending on your birth order. It goes Wayan, Made, Komang, Ketut, Gade. And then it starts over again. It lists for both sexes. So, if you have a boy and a girl, they are both named Wayan. You can have different middle names. I meet alot of Wayans, Gades, Mades, only 3 Komangs, and one Ketut. That I know of.
Another talent I have discovered in Asia is how to pick the worst tour company and book a tour. It only seems to work if I am by myself. So many tour providers in Seminyak, I pick one at random and book my all-day tour for the volcano and temples and a palace. Picked up next day- only me, driver, and guide. We go and see a Barong and Kecak dance performance- which I pay for on top of the fee I paid for the tour- not good so far, but I enjoy the performance. However, it was not on my itinerary. After we stop at a second shop, i whip out my receipt and ask when we will be getting to x, y, z. I am told that is not tour I paid for. Now we have full scale discussion and gentleman who booked tour is "not in office" After threatening to stop payment via my credit card we redo itinerary from what they "had been told" vs. what I had bought. Guide keeps having driver stop at shops hoping I will buy something and he will get a commission. I tell them I want to go to the volcano. Finally head toward volcano and sky opens up. Drive up mountain in rain. Have lunch at bad restaurant. Wait and wait- never stops raining. Ask where volcano is- guide points to railing and thick white impenetrable mist. "Its out there." To be truthful, I did go during the rainy season. However, what I heard over and over from the Balinese was "..it has never started to rain this hard this early..." So, see view of Indian Ocean, rice terraces (noticed in pictures when uploaded to computer naked guys bathing in river), stop in GelGel for driver to run into temple for an errand for his wife, see Goa Lawa, the Bat Temple (in your honor Chris F.) and finally head back to hotel. To top it all off, for most of the day the guide is hitting on me, asking me to take him to dinner, wanting to go on my cruise with me the next day- I would pay of course, etc. etc. 'Genit'! means sleazy in bahasa- word I learned later in vacation.
The day was saved by the lovely staff at the hotel. The had baked me a birthday cake after finding out it was my birthday trip. Sweet. And the head of security said I could hire him to take me on a tour wherever I wanted to go.
So- next day cruise to Lembogan Island on a catamaran for a day at the beach. Van picks me up- van is searched when we get to harbor for bombs, van is searched again at company entrance to include explosive sniffer. I go through metal detector and have bag searched. So- for cruise there are 7 of us going and 10 crew. Normally, there would be 40 before tourist drop off after bombing. Company owns hotel/bungalow set-up where we will spend day. Nice sail marred by hotel employee who is fascinated by my living in Bangkok and wants to know where my drugs!! are as he has seen THE BEACH and of course everyone in Thailand does drugs. Explain several times that I do not do drugs and I do not have anything on me. Finally goes away. Island is nice, hotel beach nice, coral cruise fun, snorkeling okay as I am hampered without glasses. Make friends with Norwegian couple (Hannah and Thor). I lounge by ocean, by saltwater pool, and in hammock. Lunch buffet very nice. Talk with some of crew for an hour- very nice guys. End up on video company is making in bathing suit. Can only hope they come to their senses when see footage. But Made (the 6th at this point) likes my smile and he had the video camera and was sneaky. At 3 it starts to rain and so we are leaving early. By the time we tender out to the catamaran we are wet. Luckily, they gave us trash bags for our bags. So- onto the catamaran in the back where the plastic has been rolled down and out to sea for the 1 hour+ crossing. Waves 2-6 feet. It was the best roller-coaster ride ever. I ate cheese and crackers and had tea, watched from the upper deck with the crew and generally had a great time. With the exception of one Japanese guy, everyone else was seasick and throwing up. However, they got hand and neck massages to help. I told Wayan I could pretend to throw up if I could get a massage which made everyone laugh.
Speaking of massages- one of the best parts of the vacation was the massage place I went to twice called Jari Menari in Seminyak. Mentioned in several of my spa magazines, I found them online. For ~15-20 $ you get a 75-90 minute massage and one of them includes the use of a 'singing bowl' sort of a vibrating bell bowl used in the massage. They were the best two massages I have ever had. The first one undid what I thought was a permanent knot in my left shoulder. And the very best part is that all the massage therapists are guys. Icing on the cake to get a fabulous massage from a tall dark and handsome (both) man. Totally legit, great atmosphere, wonderful spa products in the changing facilities. I restrained myself from going everyday.
Spent the next day on my own tour with Gade (head of security for hotel. We went to the Denpasar market. I wandered, but not for long. Unfortunately, I was one of a handful of tourists and ending up with an entourage of shopkeepers trailing after me, wanting me to buy at their shop or trying to help me so they could charge me for the service. No one would leave me alone. Not a pleasant way to shop so left early. Went to the Bali National Museum- which used to be a palace. Was very nice, got scolded for taking pictures of things in the buildings, :( Then went to the Bali Orchid Garden were I spent a blissful hour or so wandering and taking pictures. Bought a sterile seedling which I could have brought to the US and which was confiscated by Thai authorities- who graciously did not fine me when I showed my Thai Army ID. I also went to one of the 9 directional temples- Uluwatu. Where I had to take off my jewelry and hair clip. They also wanted me to remove my glasses, but I stopped at that point. Why you ask? Monkeys. (Stop laughing Andy) So I hired a guide with a slingshot to show me around. So beautiful. No railing between you and the cliff that drops a long way to the sea. I have some pictures I took standing at the edge. The monkeys did try several times to make grabs for my things but Wayan would brandish his slingshot and they would retreat. As I got back in the car to go to a palace it began to pour down rain so instead- home to the hotel.
The next day I was supposed to move to my hotel in Ubud and spend the next 4 days there in the mountains. It was a villa with a plunge pool supposedly a 15 minute walk to Ubud. After getting lost with the hotel voucher address, my taxi calls and gets directions. Turns out villa is not in Ubud, but Denpasar. Seems it is a 30 minute drive to Ubud which you have to arrange with villa 2 hours before and they will only go until 7pm. It is pouring down rain and I wander about my villa. Beautiful as in brochure but I have one with scary modern art that Impink would like. I am in the middle of nowhere and this is so not what I wanted. Honeymoon- fine, but by self? No. So I arrange to be carted into Ubud and to be picked up 2 hours later. I find an Internet cafe and get the number of the place I used to reserve my hotel. Decide to give it one night. Eat and shop a bit, but discover Ubud shops close at 6 and driver coming at 7. Unhappy. Find out villa was turned down while I was out and lights left on. Bad as part of villa is open and now there are hundreds of nightwings in the bathrooms crawling about and there is a spider in my suitcase, one on the bed and a bat in the living area. Look at travel guides to decide where I want to move to in Ubud. Decide as long as I am there to jump in own private plunge pool sans suit because I can. Water is freezing so I hop out quickly. Wake up with 4 bites from stinging ants that are marching across bed. Kill ants, sweep dead nightwings out of tub and sink. Eat breakfast and call company. Explain unhappiness and misdirection on website. Do not like hotels offer in Ubud- ask for hotel on beach in main part of Seminyak. I find hotel on map- am happy with location. They call villa reception and they drive me back to Seminyak.
I learn that my startling new talent works in bahasa as well as Thai. I am speaking of my ability to mispronounce a word such that I have said a very vulgar word instead. I get to the new hotel who has not gotten the fax from the internet company. I explain and give them the number and name of the person I spoke to- Ketak. Which I misheard. It should have been Ketut because Ketak means doing the nasty in a very vulgar way. Reception desk personnel all stare and break out laughing. They explain, I laugh. Get very generic hotel room. Unpack- call Denise. Must whine- still have not got international roaming whining rates. Denise makes me feel better. Go shopping- feel even more better. Decide at 5 to check out pool. Pool okay. Decide to walk on beach. Nice- find shells, notice how dirty sand looks when it is black as opposed to white, watch Balinese play numerous football (soccer) games. Walk back to hotel, decide to sit on chair someone has abandoned. Met Balinese surfer/beach vendor who is putting away chairs. Promise to rent chair from him next day.
Actually go to front desk to ask for better room. Move to renovated room- nicer-happier. Spend day at beach. Meet more surfers: Komang, Komang, Komang, Made, Gade, Wayan, Wayan. Have surf lesson-learn to fall off gracefully and swim in rip current. Better at boogie board. Have dinner with some of surf guys. Learn new words in bahasa, including 'genit' for guide and Mr. Sleazy. Also learn some words in Balinese. Spend Saturday shopping and go out drinking with surfers. Spend last half-day on beach with surfers- who convince me we should all get temporary tattoos so I will remember them. Pack and head to airport. Have gotten texts from surfers, they miss me. They are just bored with no tourists. I will soon be forgotten I am sure.
So long winded account of trip to Bali. I bought a few nice things and did get the CDs and piece of artwork and fabric I wanted. Still have mixed feelings about trip but at two weeks remove is mellowing out. Last 3 days at beach were a nice note to end on.
I found Bali to be exotic and sadly full of trash. Beautiful and not so depending on where you looked. Very nice people and annoying touts. Seriously the trip was full of ups and downs some of which I have detailed below. I also found it more expensive than Thailand. The following is long and rambling. I am getting my pictures organized on snapfish. If you want a link let me know. I might try to add one to this, depends on how tired I am by the time I finish typing.
My plane was supposed to leave at 0830. We ended up leaving after 5 delays at 1400 which put us in Bali, not at noon but around 1830. So I goggled at the sites comparing similarities and differences to Thailand on the drive to my first hotel. Which seemed to be further out than I expected from the Internet map. When we turned down a single lane road surrounded by rice paddies and with cattle wandering about I was convinced. The hotel was lovely and I was ever so excited about my room- bed with mosquito netting and the all important outdoor bathroom reached by an impossibly intricate set of doors. The room also included mosquito spray, coils, and electronic bug zapper. I discovered I needed them all- especially the nets on the bed. And while an outdoor bathroom in theory seems romantic/exotic/etc. Having a giant spider compete with you at three in the morning for the toilet, having to shake out your towels before each use to dislodge bugs, and having it pour down rain (blow in)on you while you shower or worse while peeing was not so hot. This was balanced slightly by the naughty feeling of being naked and showering outside.
So, first hotel near beach. In reality 5 minute walk through a field, past two family compounds and down a concrete tunnel funneling water to rice fields. Beach is black sand with nothing. No chairs to rent, no food vendors, no other people. Sigh. Decide to walk into town. Looks close on map and have been hiking everywhere in Bangkok. 20 minutes later, I have still not reached a main road and bargain with 2 boys in a truck for a ride into Seminyak. Only got taken for x2 the actual price of a taxi as I discovered later. Not so bad for not knowing. Immediately get lost in town as no map I downloaded from the Internet bears any real resemblance to anyplace in Bali. Three different persons tell me 3 different things, luckily in English as my bahasa indonesian was poor. The good news was I was using my Thai well, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
Bali so desperately needs its tourists back. There is a ton of security everywhere. Few tourists meant that if anyone selling anything saw one you were relentlessly followed. So, I forgot how to speak English. I spoke only in Thai with a few broken phrases "Bangkok" "No, English", etc. My talent for having the local equivalent of a sleazy truck driver hit on me was working. While I was looking at my map to find a shop, Mr. Scary, with gold chains, unbuttoned shirt, beer belly, and greasy ponytail tried to pick me up. Well actually he was more blunt and just wanted me to come up to his room over his shop and ... Tell him he is vulgar in Thai while looking confused, smile and walk off after mangling "good-bye" in bahasa.
At this point I should explain about Balinese names. Everyone is named the same 5 or 6 things depending on your birth order. It goes Wayan, Made, Komang, Ketut, Gade. And then it starts over again. It lists for both sexes. So, if you have a boy and a girl, they are both named Wayan. You can have different middle names. I meet alot of Wayans, Gades, Mades, only 3 Komangs, and one Ketut. That I know of.
Another talent I have discovered in Asia is how to pick the worst tour company and book a tour. It only seems to work if I am by myself. So many tour providers in Seminyak, I pick one at random and book my all-day tour for the volcano and temples and a palace. Picked up next day- only me, driver, and guide. We go and see a Barong and Kecak dance performance- which I pay for on top of the fee I paid for the tour- not good so far, but I enjoy the performance. However, it was not on my itinerary. After we stop at a second shop, i whip out my receipt and ask when we will be getting to x, y, z. I am told that is not tour I paid for. Now we have full scale discussion and gentleman who booked tour is "not in office" After threatening to stop payment via my credit card we redo itinerary from what they "had been told" vs. what I had bought. Guide keeps having driver stop at shops hoping I will buy something and he will get a commission. I tell them I want to go to the volcano. Finally head toward volcano and sky opens up. Drive up mountain in rain. Have lunch at bad restaurant. Wait and wait- never stops raining. Ask where volcano is- guide points to railing and thick white impenetrable mist. "Its out there." To be truthful, I did go during the rainy season. However, what I heard over and over from the Balinese was "..it has never started to rain this hard this early..." So, see view of Indian Ocean, rice terraces (noticed in pictures when uploaded to computer naked guys bathing in river), stop in GelGel for driver to run into temple for an errand for his wife, see Goa Lawa, the Bat Temple (in your honor Chris F.) and finally head back to hotel. To top it all off, for most of the day the guide is hitting on me, asking me to take him to dinner, wanting to go on my cruise with me the next day- I would pay of course, etc. etc. 'Genit'! means sleazy in bahasa- word I learned later in vacation.
The day was saved by the lovely staff at the hotel. The had baked me a birthday cake after finding out it was my birthday trip. Sweet. And the head of security said I could hire him to take me on a tour wherever I wanted to go.
So- next day cruise to Lembogan Island on a catamaran for a day at the beach. Van picks me up- van is searched when we get to harbor for bombs, van is searched again at company entrance to include explosive sniffer. I go through metal detector and have bag searched. So- for cruise there are 7 of us going and 10 crew. Normally, there would be 40 before tourist drop off after bombing. Company owns hotel/bungalow set-up where we will spend day. Nice sail marred by hotel employee who is fascinated by my living in Bangkok and wants to know where my drugs!! are as he has seen THE BEACH and of course everyone in Thailand does drugs. Explain several times that I do not do drugs and I do not have anything on me. Finally goes away. Island is nice, hotel beach nice, coral cruise fun, snorkeling okay as I am hampered without glasses. Make friends with Norwegian couple (Hannah and Thor). I lounge by ocean, by saltwater pool, and in hammock. Lunch buffet very nice. Talk with some of crew for an hour- very nice guys. End up on video company is making in bathing suit. Can only hope they come to their senses when see footage. But Made (the 6th at this point) likes my smile and he had the video camera and was sneaky. At 3 it starts to rain and so we are leaving early. By the time we tender out to the catamaran we are wet. Luckily, they gave us trash bags for our bags. So- onto the catamaran in the back where the plastic has been rolled down and out to sea for the 1 hour+ crossing. Waves 2-6 feet. It was the best roller-coaster ride ever. I ate cheese and crackers and had tea, watched from the upper deck with the crew and generally had a great time. With the exception of one Japanese guy, everyone else was seasick and throwing up. However, they got hand and neck massages to help. I told Wayan I could pretend to throw up if I could get a massage which made everyone laugh.
Speaking of massages- one of the best parts of the vacation was the massage place I went to twice called Jari Menari in Seminyak. Mentioned in several of my spa magazines, I found them online. For ~15-20 $ you get a 75-90 minute massage and one of them includes the use of a 'singing bowl' sort of a vibrating bell bowl used in the massage. They were the best two massages I have ever had. The first one undid what I thought was a permanent knot in my left shoulder. And the very best part is that all the massage therapists are guys. Icing on the cake to get a fabulous massage from a tall dark and handsome (both) man. Totally legit, great atmosphere, wonderful spa products in the changing facilities. I restrained myself from going everyday.
Spent the next day on my own tour with Gade (head of security for hotel. We went to the Denpasar market. I wandered, but not for long. Unfortunately, I was one of a handful of tourists and ending up with an entourage of shopkeepers trailing after me, wanting me to buy at their shop or trying to help me so they could charge me for the service. No one would leave me alone. Not a pleasant way to shop so left early. Went to the Bali National Museum- which used to be a palace. Was very nice, got scolded for taking pictures of things in the buildings, :( Then went to the Bali Orchid Garden were I spent a blissful hour or so wandering and taking pictures. Bought a sterile seedling which I could have brought to the US and which was confiscated by Thai authorities- who graciously did not fine me when I showed my Thai Army ID. I also went to one of the 9 directional temples- Uluwatu. Where I had to take off my jewelry and hair clip. They also wanted me to remove my glasses, but I stopped at that point. Why you ask? Monkeys. (Stop laughing Andy) So I hired a guide with a slingshot to show me around. So beautiful. No railing between you and the cliff that drops a long way to the sea. I have some pictures I took standing at the edge. The monkeys did try several times to make grabs for my things but Wayan would brandish his slingshot and they would retreat. As I got back in the car to go to a palace it began to pour down rain so instead- home to the hotel.
The next day I was supposed to move to my hotel in Ubud and spend the next 4 days there in the mountains. It was a villa with a plunge pool supposedly a 15 minute walk to Ubud. After getting lost with the hotel voucher address, my taxi calls and gets directions. Turns out villa is not in Ubud, but Denpasar. Seems it is a 30 minute drive to Ubud which you have to arrange with villa 2 hours before and they will only go until 7pm. It is pouring down rain and I wander about my villa. Beautiful as in brochure but I have one with scary modern art that Impink would like. I am in the middle of nowhere and this is so not what I wanted. Honeymoon- fine, but by self? No. So I arrange to be carted into Ubud and to be picked up 2 hours later. I find an Internet cafe and get the number of the place I used to reserve my hotel. Decide to give it one night. Eat and shop a bit, but discover Ubud shops close at 6 and driver coming at 7. Unhappy. Find out villa was turned down while I was out and lights left on. Bad as part of villa is open and now there are hundreds of nightwings in the bathrooms crawling about and there is a spider in my suitcase, one on the bed and a bat in the living area. Look at travel guides to decide where I want to move to in Ubud. Decide as long as I am there to jump in own private plunge pool sans suit because I can. Water is freezing so I hop out quickly. Wake up with 4 bites from stinging ants that are marching across bed. Kill ants, sweep dead nightwings out of tub and sink. Eat breakfast and call company. Explain unhappiness and misdirection on website. Do not like hotels offer in Ubud- ask for hotel on beach in main part of Seminyak. I find hotel on map- am happy with location. They call villa reception and they drive me back to Seminyak.
I learn that my startling new talent works in bahasa as well as Thai. I am speaking of my ability to mispronounce a word such that I have said a very vulgar word instead. I get to the new hotel who has not gotten the fax from the internet company. I explain and give them the number and name of the person I spoke to- Ketak. Which I misheard. It should have been Ketut because Ketak means doing the nasty in a very vulgar way. Reception desk personnel all stare and break out laughing. They explain, I laugh. Get very generic hotel room. Unpack- call Denise. Must whine- still have not got international roaming whining rates. Denise makes me feel better. Go shopping- feel even more better. Decide at 5 to check out pool. Pool okay. Decide to walk on beach. Nice- find shells, notice how dirty sand looks when it is black as opposed to white, watch Balinese play numerous football (soccer) games. Walk back to hotel, decide to sit on chair someone has abandoned. Met Balinese surfer/beach vendor who is putting away chairs. Promise to rent chair from him next day.
Actually go to front desk to ask for better room. Move to renovated room- nicer-happier. Spend day at beach. Meet more surfers: Komang, Komang, Komang, Made, Gade, Wayan, Wayan. Have surf lesson-learn to fall off gracefully and swim in rip current. Better at boogie board. Have dinner with some of surf guys. Learn new words in bahasa, including 'genit' for guide and Mr. Sleazy. Also learn some words in Balinese. Spend Saturday shopping and go out drinking with surfers. Spend last half-day on beach with surfers- who convince me we should all get temporary tattoos so I will remember them. Pack and head to airport. Have gotten texts from surfers, they miss me. They are just bored with no tourists. I will soon be forgotten I am sure.
So long winded account of trip to Bali. I bought a few nice things and did get the CDs and piece of artwork and fabric I wanted. Still have mixed feelings about trip but at two weeks remove is mellowing out. Last 3 days at beach were a nice note to end on.