I'm scared
I'm scared, I think I might actually be falling for Tristan. I realized it last night. He came over, we exchanged gifts, and cuddled, then of course we continued with our typical stuff. I realized while I was cuddling with him that I would love to spend the rest of my life in his arms. He kept catching me staring at him, and eventually asked me what I was thinking, I opened my mouth to say the words, but nothing came out. The true test is if I can stop smoking. He once told me "If I'm looking to be serious with anyone, I wanna make sure she wont die when she's 50". I can totally understand that, and I really wanna give us a shot. I just hope he's on the same page as me. If he's not, then I wont be able to carry on with being his fuck buddie.
I just keep thinking, am I good enough for him? I already know he's good enough for me. He is the hottest, sweetest, most caring guy I know, and I'm so scared of scaring him away. What's wrong with me I use to be the one who could have absolutely no attachment, and now I sleep with a guy for a year and I fall? (chuckles) Well I haven't completely fallen. I could stop myself right now, it would hurt. But if he's not gonna love me back then its worth the pain now (instead of getting head over heals and then crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey, while doing shots of vodka). Is this karma coming to bite me in the ass for breaking so many hearts?
All I want is all the normal relationship stuff (with only him), movies, dinner, sharing moments basically. I'm ready and willing to show him everything (hell he knows pretty much everything anyhow). I know you might think I'm being obsessive, and right now I am... I think it's just because I finally have a place to put all my thoughts. I have been thinking about him practally non-stop since The Red Sox didn't make it to the series this year. I met him the second game of the world series last year.
I hope he comes over tonight, then I can tell him. I know with a situation like this I need a bit of tact (which I have none of, lol). So being a wise woman I asked my friend what to say (as all women do, shhh don't tell the men) anyways if all goes wrong I hope we can still be friends. On the other hand I kinda don't want him to come over, that way there I can force myself to fall out of this, or at least try... Anyone have any advice?
I AM SO SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just keep thinking, am I good enough for him? I already know he's good enough for me. He is the hottest, sweetest, most caring guy I know, and I'm so scared of scaring him away. What's wrong with me I use to be the one who could have absolutely no attachment, and now I sleep with a guy for a year and I fall? (chuckles) Well I haven't completely fallen. I could stop myself right now, it would hurt. But if he's not gonna love me back then its worth the pain now (instead of getting head over heals and then crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey, while doing shots of vodka). Is this karma coming to bite me in the ass for breaking so many hearts?
All I want is all the normal relationship stuff (with only him), movies, dinner, sharing moments basically. I'm ready and willing to show him everything (hell he knows pretty much everything anyhow). I know you might think I'm being obsessive, and right now I am... I think it's just because I finally have a place to put all my thoughts. I have been thinking about him practally non-stop since The Red Sox didn't make it to the series this year. I met him the second game of the world series last year.
I hope he comes over tonight, then I can tell him. I know with a situation like this I need a bit of tact (which I have none of, lol). So being a wise woman I asked my friend what to say (as all women do, shhh don't tell the men) anyways if all goes wrong I hope we can still be friends. On the other hand I kinda don't want him to come over, that way there I can force myself to fall out of this, or at least try... Anyone have any advice?
I AM SO SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!