Three Months on T
I meant to post weekly-or-so updates, but for one reason or another never got around to it. I started self-injecting 100mg weekly of testosterone cypionate on July 2nd.
Self-injecting has been as easy as I'd hoped it would be. I'm injecting in my thighs, alternating sides. I tried it in my bum twice, once on each side, and it was a lot more awkward and quite a bit more painful, so I decided just the thighs would be fine. A couple of weeks ago I refilled my needles and the pharmacy didn't have the same gauge in stock - I had been using 25g and all they had that day were 22g. The initial piercing of the skin is a bit more painful with the larger needles, but still basically nothing, and the drawing up is a lot easier. These needles are also shorter - 1 inch instead of 1 1/2 inches. I haven't noticed any more blood or leaking of testosterone (I've had none of that at all, actually - one time I'm grateful for being fat. :p), and my endo said that 1" should work just fine.
The first change I noticed - within about 4 days, I'd guess - was genital growth. This was confirmed by mfrazercani. It kind of started out with a bang - within ten days I'd guess I was maybe twice the size I had been before - but it's slowed since. Flaccid it doesn't feel or look all that much bigger than it was before, but I do still seem to be gaining size when erect. I've got a loooong way to go before it's really, er, functional, though, or of suitable dimensions to be able to consider future metoidioplasty. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't max out too soon.
Also within the first week, my libido increased significantly. I even found myself spontaneously horny (I vaugely remember that happening in the past. Maybe, oh, 13 years ago?). See, this is your brain: blahblahblahblah... This is your brain on testosterone: blahblahsexblahsexblahblahsexSEXblahsexsexsexblah... Well, at least my brain on testosterone. :p When I had an oestrogen-dominated system, I just wasn't in the mood really ever. And if I were tired, or stressed, or upset, or distracted or in pain of any kind, forget it. When I (or my partner) managed to get me in the mood, all it would take was one stray thought or minor environmental occurance (the cat walking on the bed, voices from outside) and BAM - I was back to zero. Now, sex usually sounds - and feels - great at pretty much any time. I had a day or two where it was taking up about a quarter of my brain at all times, but it's settled back down a bit now. Still, all it takes is one stray thought or a minor environmental occurance and BAM - I'm thinking about sex again. :p And I'm able to orgasm much more easily and much more frequently. I actually really like it, even when it's distracting. It feels like my body's finally reacting the way I've always wanted it to.
Another fairly immediate shift was in body odour. My general body odour is no worse than ever - in fact, it may actually be better, though I'm taking better care of my hygiene now than I have in years - but my crotch really bothered me for the first few weeks. Within about 10 hours of showering it would start to smell like a dirty locker room. Yuck. It's either got better now or I've got used to it, I'm not sure which, but I definitely smell like a guy now and not a woman.
Surprisingly my acne, which had started to get really bad on the cream, cleared up almost entirely within a few days of starting injections. I REALLY did not expect that. Especially considering cypionate's reputation in that area, and my personal history with acne problems. And my skin's stayed pretty clear since. A very, very happy windfall. *crosses fingers*
Right at the end of the first two weeks, I was singing along with the radio and suddenly found myself singing some lower notes that I'd never been able to reach before. I hadn't noticed my speaking voice changing at all, but from then on (especially the more I practiced singing in my lowest range) it started to deepen. It's not gone far yet - I was an alto before, and a musician friend recently classified me as a tenor - but it's lowered a bit. Of course, now that I've had pneumonia for a week and a half, all I have left is a raspy croak. I'm scared I may have done permanent damage to my voice - laryngitis while your voice is changing is BAD - but I'm not sure what to do about it so I'm just trying to baby it.
Also after about two weeks, I think my body fat shifted slightly. My chest seemed less firm, and my belly (never easy to overlook in the first place) suddenly seemed more prominent. That was a very subjective thing, though, and could easily have been all in my head.
Since then I've not been tracking things as closely. I've gained more body hair, for one. The hair on my arms is a bit longer and darker and covers more area, I have a small scattering of downy hair on my belly (which is more than I've ever had before :p), the hair on my calves is about twice as thick (still not very) and I have hair on my thighs now. Overall I'm definitely still not "hairy" by any stretch of the imagination, but it's slowly showing up.
As for facial hair, the hair on my chin and on my upper lip is longer and thicker than it was before, and I have a few long, dark pseudowhiskers coming in on my chin. I do have to shave every couple of days now or it looks like hell, but I'd classify it more as typical "postmenopausal" facial hair rather than true whiskers. And still nothing at all on my cheeks or neck. I am, however, starting to get a more masculine hairline. Not significant yet, but it's starting.
I had one day when I was filled with sullen, formless rage that felt just like being a teenager again. I just wanted to GO, to get out and do something reckless and stupid and preferably violent, for no apparent reason. Luckily, I'm an adult and was able to manage that mood much better than I ever did as an actual teenager. :p And other than that, my mood's felt completely normal. I'm at my baseline a lot more than I was before, and my baseline is higher (towards the "good" end of the scale) than it was. My emotions are more connected to what's actually going on around me rather than fluctuating unpredictably. The only downside is that it's really easy to not notice or deliberately ignore them. Sometimes I won't even realise I'm feeling a certain way for days. But I don't feel numb or emotionless or like my feelings are "flattened" (one way I heard it described) - I just feel more stable. I feel just as happy or excited or sad or angry as I ever did before.
Last week I had my first checkup with the endo, and to my surprise my T levels were actually too low. My dose, 100mg/week (or, more commonly, 200mg/fortnight), is the most "typical" starting dose I've heard, and usually if you've had an oopherectomy they start you on half that, so if anything I was expecting my testosterone to be too high. Anyway, she upped me from .5 cc (100mg) to .6 cc (120mg) weekly. I have another checkup in about a month.
But I haven't seen any changes at all in a week or two. I did skip one week - kind of on purpose; I was a couple of days late the week before and then was camping when I should have done the next shot. I decided to wait until I got home instead of struggling with doing an injection correctly in that much dirt and smoke and freneticism, and then once I got back I was really sick and didn't trust myself to inject, so I just waited until the next Friday. I don't know if that's why, though I hadn't seen anything in a week or two before that, or if it's just happening gradually enough that I'm not noticing it or what, but I hope the greater dose starts doing something more soon.
Self-injecting has been as easy as I'd hoped it would be. I'm injecting in my thighs, alternating sides. I tried it in my bum twice, once on each side, and it was a lot more awkward and quite a bit more painful, so I decided just the thighs would be fine. A couple of weeks ago I refilled my needles and the pharmacy didn't have the same gauge in stock - I had been using 25g and all they had that day were 22g. The initial piercing of the skin is a bit more painful with the larger needles, but still basically nothing, and the drawing up is a lot easier. These needles are also shorter - 1 inch instead of 1 1/2 inches. I haven't noticed any more blood or leaking of testosterone (I've had none of that at all, actually - one time I'm grateful for being fat. :p), and my endo said that 1" should work just fine.
The first change I noticed - within about 4 days, I'd guess - was genital growth. This was confirmed by mfrazercani. It kind of started out with a bang - within ten days I'd guess I was maybe twice the size I had been before - but it's slowed since. Flaccid it doesn't feel or look all that much bigger than it was before, but I do still seem to be gaining size when erect. I've got a loooong way to go before it's really, er, functional, though, or of suitable dimensions to be able to consider future metoidioplasty. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't max out too soon.
Also within the first week, my libido increased significantly. I even found myself spontaneously horny (I vaugely remember that happening in the past. Maybe, oh, 13 years ago?). See, this is your brain: blahblahblahblah... This is your brain on testosterone: blahblahsexblahsexblahblahsexSEXblahsexsexsexblah... Well, at least my brain on testosterone. :p When I had an oestrogen-dominated system, I just wasn't in the mood really ever. And if I were tired, or stressed, or upset, or distracted or in pain of any kind, forget it. When I (or my partner) managed to get me in the mood, all it would take was one stray thought or minor environmental occurance (the cat walking on the bed, voices from outside) and BAM - I was back to zero. Now, sex usually sounds - and feels - great at pretty much any time. I had a day or two where it was taking up about a quarter of my brain at all times, but it's settled back down a bit now. Still, all it takes is one stray thought or a minor environmental occurance and BAM - I'm thinking about sex again. :p And I'm able to orgasm much more easily and much more frequently. I actually really like it, even when it's distracting. It feels like my body's finally reacting the way I've always wanted it to.
Another fairly immediate shift was in body odour. My general body odour is no worse than ever - in fact, it may actually be better, though I'm taking better care of my hygiene now than I have in years - but my crotch really bothered me for the first few weeks. Within about 10 hours of showering it would start to smell like a dirty locker room. Yuck. It's either got better now or I've got used to it, I'm not sure which, but I definitely smell like a guy now and not a woman.
Surprisingly my acne, which had started to get really bad on the cream, cleared up almost entirely within a few days of starting injections. I REALLY did not expect that. Especially considering cypionate's reputation in that area, and my personal history with acne problems. And my skin's stayed pretty clear since. A very, very happy windfall. *crosses fingers*
Right at the end of the first two weeks, I was singing along with the radio and suddenly found myself singing some lower notes that I'd never been able to reach before. I hadn't noticed my speaking voice changing at all, but from then on (especially the more I practiced singing in my lowest range) it started to deepen. It's not gone far yet - I was an alto before, and a musician friend recently classified me as a tenor - but it's lowered a bit. Of course, now that I've had pneumonia for a week and a half, all I have left is a raspy croak. I'm scared I may have done permanent damage to my voice - laryngitis while your voice is changing is BAD - but I'm not sure what to do about it so I'm just trying to baby it.
Also after about two weeks, I think my body fat shifted slightly. My chest seemed less firm, and my belly (never easy to overlook in the first place) suddenly seemed more prominent. That was a very subjective thing, though, and could easily have been all in my head.
Since then I've not been tracking things as closely. I've gained more body hair, for one. The hair on my arms is a bit longer and darker and covers more area, I have a small scattering of downy hair on my belly (which is more than I've ever had before :p), the hair on my calves is about twice as thick (still not very) and I have hair on my thighs now. Overall I'm definitely still not "hairy" by any stretch of the imagination, but it's slowly showing up.
As for facial hair, the hair on my chin and on my upper lip is longer and thicker than it was before, and I have a few long, dark pseudowhiskers coming in on my chin. I do have to shave every couple of days now or it looks like hell, but I'd classify it more as typical "postmenopausal" facial hair rather than true whiskers. And still nothing at all on my cheeks or neck. I am, however, starting to get a more masculine hairline. Not significant yet, but it's starting.
I had one day when I was filled with sullen, formless rage that felt just like being a teenager again. I just wanted to GO, to get out and do something reckless and stupid and preferably violent, for no apparent reason. Luckily, I'm an adult and was able to manage that mood much better than I ever did as an actual teenager. :p And other than that, my mood's felt completely normal. I'm at my baseline a lot more than I was before, and my baseline is higher (towards the "good" end of the scale) than it was. My emotions are more connected to what's actually going on around me rather than fluctuating unpredictably. The only downside is that it's really easy to not notice or deliberately ignore them. Sometimes I won't even realise I'm feeling a certain way for days. But I don't feel numb or emotionless or like my feelings are "flattened" (one way I heard it described) - I just feel more stable. I feel just as happy or excited or sad or angry as I ever did before.
Last week I had my first checkup with the endo, and to my surprise my T levels were actually too low. My dose, 100mg/week (or, more commonly, 200mg/fortnight), is the most "typical" starting dose I've heard, and usually if you've had an oopherectomy they start you on half that, so if anything I was expecting my testosterone to be too high. Anyway, she upped me from .5 cc (100mg) to .6 cc (120mg) weekly. I have another checkup in about a month.
But I haven't seen any changes at all in a week or two. I did skip one week - kind of on purpose; I was a couple of days late the week before and then was camping when I should have done the next shot. I decided to wait until I got home instead of struggling with doing an injection correctly in that much dirt and smoke and freneticism, and then once I got back I was really sick and didn't trust myself to inject, so I just waited until the next Friday. I don't know if that's why, though I hadn't seen anything in a week or two before that, or if it's just happening gradually enough that I'm not noticing it or what, but I hope the greater dose starts doing something more soon.