Slight Course Correction
So, I had it all figured out. I was going to come out to R first, so that I could stop hiding this at home. Once that drama was over, or at least died down, then I was going to come out to my parents. After that, mind, the plan got a little fuzzy - but that's not the point.
What you have to understand, though, is that I'm very lucky. I have a great relationship with both my parents. My mum is one of my best friends and we talk regularly about just about everything. And since I've been dealing with this issue, I've frankly been avoiding her. I've not been ready to tell her, but it's been so overwhelming that it hasn't left me with much else to talk about. And it's too difficult to just pretend that everything's fine.
But she's started to notice, and she's starting to worry. And that's not fair to her. We're not ready to come out to R - he's still dealing with breaking up with his girlfriend and we really need to tell him on a day that he and mfrazercani both have off so that neither one has to run off to work in the middle of it, which isn't very common.
So I guess I'm finishing up my coming-out letter to my parents and sending it to them tonight or tomorrow morning. Mum wants me to call her tomorrow for a long-delayed real conversation and I don't think I can do that while still hiding something this important from her. I don't want to come out to them, and I know I'm stalling. I really don't want to hurt them, and I know this will. And some selfish part of me doesn't want to deal with the drama. I want this whole difficult part to just be done - I either want to not have this be an issue or I want to be successfully transitioned already. But I know I'll have to tell them eventually and there's not any good reason to delay at this point.
So wish me luck, I guess.
What you have to understand, though, is that I'm very lucky. I have a great relationship with both my parents. My mum is one of my best friends and we talk regularly about just about everything. And since I've been dealing with this issue, I've frankly been avoiding her. I've not been ready to tell her, but it's been so overwhelming that it hasn't left me with much else to talk about. And it's too difficult to just pretend that everything's fine.
But she's started to notice, and she's starting to worry. And that's not fair to her. We're not ready to come out to R - he's still dealing with breaking up with his girlfriend and we really need to tell him on a day that he and mfrazercani both have off so that neither one has to run off to work in the middle of it, which isn't very common.
So I guess I'm finishing up my coming-out letter to my parents and sending it to them tonight or tomorrow morning. Mum wants me to call her tomorrow for a long-delayed real conversation and I don't think I can do that while still hiding something this important from her. I don't want to come out to them, and I know I'm stalling. I really don't want to hurt them, and I know this will. And some selfish part of me doesn't want to deal with the drama. I want this whole difficult part to just be done - I either want to not have this be an issue or I want to be successfully transitioned already. But I know I'll have to tell them eventually and there's not any good reason to delay at this point.
So wish me luck, I guess.