Meh
I have come to the conclusion that it sucks only having $128.47 left to your name, and doing and saying something horrible to the ones you love most and who have been there since day one and who have done everything in their power to help me in everyway possible has come to an end. That's right. One week from today the house I have spent the last 15 years in will no longer be a part of me. Its been a bumpy ride, both good and bad memories have come back and made me think of a lot of things. Somethings I have said and done, I can never take back and I regret those things so much noone not even loved ones will know. I cant talk about this anymore. As someone once told me "treat others how you want to be treated" has definitely made an impact tonite. I sat down at the bowling alley (the only place I can think) and realized how much of an asshole I am, and how I haven't treated people faithfully or right. Maybe you were right, it's time to grow up and think about how many people I have in my life right now who actually care about me. But I think im a lot to late for that.
- Goals are to make as much out of myself as I possibly can without letting anyone get in my way.
- Find somewhere to live in the next week or maybe sooner.
- Find who I am because I definitely don't know who I am.
- Stay focused and support myself
- Most imoortantly :GROW THE FUCK UP".
College tuition.. shall we talk about that? Have no way to pay for college. Wow.. what a big suprise. Looks like Chris won't be going to college in the fall. And even if I do, every cent to my name will be going to pay for fall classes. I had people there to help me through.. but through lack of trust, disrespecting others, and other things in general, looks like I'm on my own.
Maybe it won't be so bad. But maybe it'll be so bad that I won't be able to survive. Do those things ever go through anyone elses minds or just mine?
I leave you all with this.. never fuck up a relationship with anyone espacially if it's with a loved one or even someone you care about. Things like this may happen to you. I have a lot of growing up to do and a lot of thinking to do but I know I will get through it and find myself somewhere in this mess and be happy once again. As soon as all this shit is over. Goodbye.