Happy Monday
I'm feeling better about things but for no particular reason. Rob and I agreed that we are not wal-mart poor yet. I joked recently about "having the money to stand by my convictions" and it made me really sad and I think I was only half joking. It's funny how just needing to figure out how to get gas in the car and and bills paid and food on the table starts to make you not care as much where the food is coming from. I don't think that's right. I feel like wal-mart and their ilk prey on the poor the way that cigerette companies prey on youth. Shop at walmart and there will be more low paying crappy jobs so there can me more working poor to shop at walmart.
I just keep thinking about the people who go through something like this and don't have support of family or friends.
John Lennon's "Working class hero" is a great song (it just came on). It's making me 'happy in that sad sort of way' right now.
Anyway, the point is, I'm trying to find ways of sticking to my beliefs and convictions in spite of the money situation. But oh the fear fear fear just overwhelms me sometimes and I have to go up to my room and sit in silence and meditate and pray for a bit until the mean scary voices in my head quiet down.
I'm spending the day at my parent's house trying to get the rest of my work done. Its so nice and quiet here. I really should be editing right now but goodness it's boring.
I am thinking about volunteering to help women in crisis pregnancies. I so know how it feels. Holy mackerel-I remember being 20 and pregnant like it was yesterday. I was a mess. I want to keep doing my work at Thurber House too though. I wish I had the money to just help the causes I believe in. I do love it at Thurber and I'm learning the dirty little ins and outs of non-profits. Plus I've been promoted to unpaid intern. They've begun to refer to me as the intern in memos and such. I'm not sure when the change happened but I like it. Thurber is starting a new teen writing program and I am so excited to see how it unfolds.
Wow. This entry is all over the board. Sorry, back to work.
I have the itch to paint every room in my house right now. I want green walls, I've wanted green walls since I was young and I was never allowed to have them.
I just keep thinking about the people who go through something like this and don't have support of family or friends.
John Lennon's "Working class hero" is a great song (it just came on). It's making me 'happy in that sad sort of way' right now.
Anyway, the point is, I'm trying to find ways of sticking to my beliefs and convictions in spite of the money situation. But oh the fear fear fear just overwhelms me sometimes and I have to go up to my room and sit in silence and meditate and pray for a bit until the mean scary voices in my head quiet down.
I'm spending the day at my parent's house trying to get the rest of my work done. Its so nice and quiet here. I really should be editing right now but goodness it's boring.
I am thinking about volunteering to help women in crisis pregnancies. I so know how it feels. Holy mackerel-I remember being 20 and pregnant like it was yesterday. I was a mess. I want to keep doing my work at Thurber House too though. I wish I had the money to just help the causes I believe in. I do love it at Thurber and I'm learning the dirty little ins and outs of non-profits. Plus I've been promoted to unpaid intern. They've begun to refer to me as the intern in memos and such. I'm not sure when the change happened but I like it. Thurber is starting a new teen writing program and I am so excited to see how it unfolds.
Wow. This entry is all over the board. Sorry, back to work.
I have the itch to paint every room in my house right now. I want green walls, I've wanted green walls since I was young and I was never allowed to have them.