Observations after grocery shopping
1. Lots of people apparently rush to the store about 15 minutes before it closes.
2. Chocolate is very good.
3. So are oranges.
4. I am filled with horror and trepidation at the sight of college women in those jeans with the big worn-down patches on the thighs. In a year they will be as laughable as acid-washed jeans, but that's not the worst of it.
The jeans are custom-designed for the Star-Bellied Sneech effect - somehow (probably mostly related to price or brand snobbery), a heirarchy of acceptability will be codified by the wearers and their observers, and the wrong pair of worn-thigh jeans will be the bane of the wearer's existence (with a range in the amount of suffering that depends largely on the wearer's proximity to eighth grade).
With some regional variation, the parameters upon which the acceptability of a given pair of worn-thigh jeans will be as follows:
a. Brand
b. Cost
c. Size
d. Location of wear - front-only, or back-only, or front-and-back (my guess is that front-only will turn out to be the preferred style; any backside-wear will only be acceptable if limited to the ass area)
e. Width of wear stripe
f. Extent of wear stripe (my guess is that the trend will evolve so that if the stripe goes very far below the knees in the front, the wearer will be fair game for public taunting)
g. Contrast between worn and non-worn areas
h. Amount of gradiation in wear between worn and non-worn areas
And bad as the above is, it's still not the worst fear that strikes me upon seeing worn-thigh jeans - the worst is that it marks the beginning of another era of Denim as High Fashion. We will soon see denim skirts. We will soon see calf-length denim skirts. We will soon see calf-length denim skirts with denim ruffles. We will soon see calf-length denim skirts with denim ruffles that haven't been ironed properly, so the ruffles accordion upwards from the bottom hem of the ruffle, causing the ruffles to be more hapazard bendings than a ruffles.
Not long after that, we will see worn-thigh jeans with zippers at the ankles, and armageddon will follow.
2. Chocolate is very good.
3. So are oranges.
4. I am filled with horror and trepidation at the sight of college women in those jeans with the big worn-down patches on the thighs. In a year they will be as laughable as acid-washed jeans, but that's not the worst of it.
The jeans are custom-designed for the Star-Bellied Sneech effect - somehow (probably mostly related to price or brand snobbery), a heirarchy of acceptability will be codified by the wearers and their observers, and the wrong pair of worn-thigh jeans will be the bane of the wearer's existence (with a range in the amount of suffering that depends largely on the wearer's proximity to eighth grade).
With some regional variation, the parameters upon which the acceptability of a given pair of worn-thigh jeans will be as follows:
a. Brand
b. Cost
c. Size
d. Location of wear - front-only, or back-only, or front-and-back (my guess is that front-only will turn out to be the preferred style; any backside-wear will only be acceptable if limited to the ass area)
e. Width of wear stripe
f. Extent of wear stripe (my guess is that the trend will evolve so that if the stripe goes very far below the knees in the front, the wearer will be fair game for public taunting)
g. Contrast between worn and non-worn areas
h. Amount of gradiation in wear between worn and non-worn areas
And bad as the above is, it's still not the worst fear that strikes me upon seeing worn-thigh jeans - the worst is that it marks the beginning of another era of Denim as High Fashion. We will soon see denim skirts. We will soon see calf-length denim skirts. We will soon see calf-length denim skirts with denim ruffles. We will soon see calf-length denim skirts with denim ruffles that haven't been ironed properly, so the ruffles accordion upwards from the bottom hem of the ruffle, causing the ruffles to be more hapazard bendings than a ruffles.
Not long after that, we will see worn-thigh jeans with zippers at the ankles, and armageddon will follow.