a bunch of movies reviews from FB the last year. backwards temporally, screw you timeline.
Trying to reconcile how i feel about JOHN CARTER (an iteration of A PRINCESS OF MARS, in case you didn't know), i've finally come to only one solid decision-making opinion about any of the things that i want to argue against/with/for. So i will lead with this statement, and allow it to reflect on what i say after (not that anybody is going to know wtf i'm talking about anyway): The beautiful, terrible, thou-art-god, epic (though not tragic as intended), Gideon battle where Virginia defies Custer's curse and builds a body-wall of dead Tharks is transposed with an unfettered (if pg-13'd) undeniable motivational flashback- this gives our Hero and modern (honest) backbone, a reason to defy age, and furthermore a common ground for the contemporary viewer to grasp his character with. This is something that is established only by his longing for Deja Thoris in the novels- a ethereal thing most certainly our social media age has discarded for any number of the waves in that sea. So the all the nine shit i guess is forgivable because antigravity (named that by ERB in 1900 if not comprehended) is too close to home for the powers that be to let children have that word rise in the google ranks, and the self-flection there-of by the (subtly) blue martians without pandering to sequel fore-shadowing and over-explaination is handled rather well (by valentine michael smith), however: sigh, (huff), one thing i must lodge a formal complaint about is that... ah screw it. To be honest, i'm a damned ten year old again, leaping rooftops and killing great warriors who have no idea what or who they just reckoned with. The novels are (by our standards) unabashed bloodletting to save the princess, an idea long before its time (about 80 years, mario), one man versus a planet to save the only woman who ever filled the hole in his chest. I've been that man. This movie came damned close to making me feel like him again. ...and I completely agree with this editorial's every word. I don't even say that about what i write. Two days apart from it, JOHN CARTER feels more amazing in memory and longing (yep, the director (WALL-E guy) really fucking accomplished it)- Longing!- for Barsoom. I remember why Dotar Sojat remains 30 years old, and moreso: i live it. http://www.aintitcool.com/node/54267
whoever made AWAKE saw a few key episodes of FRINGE and thought exactly as i noted, apparently, cause the first hour tonight played me like a fiddle. Chandler, Carver, 24, se7en, Murakami... the palette is whimsically right outta my arse.
IDES OF MARCH. Clooney and Gosling supported by Giamatti and P.S.Hoffman. New Capitalism, Mandatory Service, Public Corporation... crazy in real life but platformed here. Starts as a 9 and stays there, echoing THE CONTENDER all the way. Nothing else matters. Though if Clooney hadn't eaten souls in THE DESCENDANTS and gosling hadn't fucked the lens in DRIVE, maybe i wouldn't have been left wanting an indescribable more...
GHOST PROTOCOL opens better than all the others, not only with Ethan hunt (and not tom cruise) bursting forth in righteous fury and (tinyman)bulging muscles, but with the onetwo punch of longplay logic brainpower to match the elbows and fists on screen, but the sniper/dragonpunch of Simon Pegg (being himself, most essentially) as his Sneaker Deus Ex Machina dickwit fist-in-a-van. That's a dick that is a wit, not a dick without one. I don't like to let the opening minutes of a film (most unlike the pages of a book) to set a bar or level for the rest of everything to follow: but this one did it for itself with the multiple ridiculous and genius references that flash by- If this doggy hadn't been drinking when i started i might've missed them- most certainly the russian literature framework references (leading to invading the Kremlin; obvious and beautiful), and if unlike the the previous 2 movies the one moment in 20 or so that became suddenly sterile and unrushed, (the "if you choose to accept it bit...)" wasn't a stark but welcome contrast to fucmefucmefucmewgathtefuc that is set up (and hopefully continues), then i wouldn't be so hurried myself to say this about short and not give myself a chance to take it all back on principle. and yes, comrade, i wrote those sentences like that one purpose. ...so, quickly, to summate the rest: Bad Robot ls good at dialectic through nonVocal contrast and commentary, and not so well known for the wit, which is (as he is paid for) always and pretty much only supplied by Simon Pegg, who plays the black fella from the other movies. AfroKingpin makes a cameo at the end- and even then it seems made a personal nod to Pegg's addition to the cast and the film (and platform) en total. Cruise's tiny penis doesn't get in the way of Hunt for the first time in 4 movies, so that's cool. While trying not to look like they're attempting to out-24 the others in their genre, and with both of the (industry and world's) monetary backer's fists not only in their asses but also in IMAX on screen to admit and glorify and apologize for their transgressions/financieers, they hold political grace in the film, if you dare to know what im talking about and not ignore it, that is awe-inspiring, if not the visual shots implored to make your sensory array "feel" it. This film is like MALLRATS in reverse, and i realize while typing that maybe it's the first time ive ever called one in this series by that honorable name. Film. IT may not seem like it, but maybe they have a hidden a film here under all that spectacle. Hmm. 7. Mostly because, dare i forget to add this, they limited it to (pretty much) only ONE explosion. And made it count. Fuck you Michael Bay.
The direction of tonight's episode of SPARTACUS: VENGEANCE is not only ultimately masterful, it is antithetical to expectation and diacritical in subtle doublespeak (which the show tries but doesn't always accomplish). The conversation between a* and c* is not only well-crafted art, but sublime in ways only good memory or future watching of previous episodes will unfold. For the first time Lucy Lawless is out-acted by the blonde (who also gives clinic to everyone else on any screen anywhere, here). Also, noteworthy: the combat actions in this episode feature fists of Feminism, Kurosawa homage (but not theft), and a (new) Spartacus who for the first time holds himself like a torn driven man and not a cute ripped teddy bear. The house of Batiatus is filled (just in time for carnival!) with the whores of Bacchus and the blood of Hecate once more.
IMMORTALS was better than it should've been, nevermind TeamJacob or the Ram, though the poetry of the design and direction was definitely not matched by the writing. This is why it is not a great film, i noticed, though it really wants to be. Super success in combat, and maybe one of the rare moments in western cinema where there is a dialogue of struggle, so to speak, both as peasant/king and mortal/divine. The Super part comes from none of it being (wholly and/or abominably derivative) either of what has come before or what has simply not been filmed in the west. The gods/titans battle was beautifully edited against a backdrop of historical actualism (if fictionalised), and though Woo did that already in FACE/OFF and THE KILLER with douchebags/showernozzles and cops/mafia respectively, a little dialogue about anahistoric theology goes a long way. Being this is (kinda) the tale of Theseus/Hyperion faith/doubt reason/passion, it would have been nice to interject a little more desperation and explanation of why the fuck its all so important in the first place. 8. minus one more for #teamJacob. so: 7.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN is like PRECIOUS, but painterly instead of literary, and full of WPS instead of "real" issues but, quite honestly, the Borg Queen isn't CPJ, and this bad egg drama-graphy of a (deliciously) evil turd who even looks plays more like APOCALYPSE LIFETIME! than EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, though i think it wants to really be somewhere between THE ICE STORM and ICE PIRATES, THE GOOD SON and CARRIE. WPS: Alarmacy at its finest. Pharmacies. Blindness. If it were more british and less absurd, Tilda's performance would be worth the hype. It is not. Noteworthy are ezra miller, teen kevin, and alex manette who rips screenspace from even the buildings around him. notefuckingworthymention to the always welcome Siobhan (whos that chubby ginger bitch?) Fallon who is a ballast against the "art" and "acting" spinning around the "direction" of the film, which seemed to take an hour to make up its fucking mind about (something or another). Made me wanna watch HARD CANDY (cause the abstract direction to similar effect works) and vanSant's ELEPHANT again.
HAYWIRE was excellent, though not among the best dix of last year solely because Soderbergh has set his own bar so high. That said, his entire career is exemplified here in two ways (not counting the score): first, he continues to prove that actors are stupid rabid fucking monkeys by making mountains out of nobody (jesus christ Gina Carano save my soul, and wasn't that the point of TGFX a few years ago?) and molehills out of giants (Ewan, Bandanas, and GordonGecko here); and second- it's like he saw ONG BAK and SYRIANA and then played some VIRTUA FIGHTER and MIRROR'S EDGE and was like "anybody know any smokin' hot chicks who can hit really hard?" If the structure wasn't so tincan procedural, and maybe if the dad or any other tertiary but vital male character did anything but stand around and admire their dick (the black dude who worked for GG and stood in the blackground was great at that), then maybe this coulda been a contender. Still, if you like hot smart women who kick ass and/or documentaries and/or "real"life spy shit and/or The Sod...8.
(It's) not hype: THE DESCENDANTS is transcendent;
writing this at forty minutes in- and every
single character every single moment: brings heart-grinding grim,
sold sad beautiful strong breathtaking numbing bumbling brim;
Clooney doth not brizzle alone- even the corpse lay dazzle and brilliant,
this film like every Payne tickles, hurts so splendid.
why couldnt CAPRICA have been a lil more low-brow for the sheeple and kept going? it gets so wonderful at the end.
(BONUS) From the gospel of Wayne: "Well, I worked very, very hard Miss Katie. I love to work. We don't approach things like, 'we're good.' We just approach things like, 'we gonna work and we're gonna work hard' and hard work pays off. If you work that hard, you're gonna get good. And good turns to great. And hopefully, I'm the definition of that."
RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES: Franco is okay, Lithgow believable and beautiful as always, but the star is mighty Caesar. If Gollum doesn't get a nomination for supporting at least, the academy will tile themselves as irrelevant as the Grammys. The holes in the story pale the the relevance of the message, and there is more than enough subtle love on screen to massage them away and make your heart cheer like a reverse-JAWS, or, for me, honestly, the last scene of HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS vis-a-vis DIGGSTOWN. I Don't know if this redeems Burton's very pretty crap, but it will make me see it again. Also, best possible least racist CH cameo possible. ...Third viewing put it in my top pick of the summer and top ten of the year. Easy.
...i've said it before and i'll say it again... FUTURAMA is pound for pound the greatest animated morality tale with the most beautiful metalateral writing in the history of televised genius.
THE GREATEST SINGLE SCENE IN SCENEMATIC HOSTORY EVER! http://youtu.be/Tim5nU3DwIE
I called the real story (of LOST) in the first season ep when Hurley's cd players batteries ran out. I know certain histories will disagree with me, but i still said then and hold now that Hugo was the only person there. we are all Hugo, and all the other characters are dichotomies of who he thinks he should be given his circumstance. Taken as that, there are no missing pieces to the story, simply unimagined actuals due to the limitations of the literate-but-nonintellectual Hugo Hurley.
...Watching the bad robot STAR TREK for like the 5th time... i cheer harder and louder every fucking time hank "PATHFINDER" mcCoy opens his goddamned mouth. He's awesome!
I am OVERLY impressed with that blonde chick (anna torv) from FRINGE's performance in portraying leonard nimoy. a freaking mazing.
HOMELAND went from Good to Great in 4 episodes. Two hours later it becomes Beautiful. Two more and it's Art.
whoever made AWAKE saw a few key episodes of FRINGE and thought exactly as i noted, apparently, cause the first hour tonight played me like a fiddle. Chandler, Carver, 24, se7en, Murakami... the palette is whimsically right outta my arse.
IDES OF MARCH. Clooney and Gosling supported by Giamatti and P.S.Hoffman. New Capitalism, Mandatory Service, Public Corporation... crazy in real life but platformed here. Starts as a 9 and stays there, echoing THE CONTENDER all the way. Nothing else matters. Though if Clooney hadn't eaten souls in THE DESCENDANTS and gosling hadn't fucked the lens in DRIVE, maybe i wouldn't have been left wanting an indescribable more...
GHOST PROTOCOL opens better than all the others, not only with Ethan hunt (and not tom cruise) bursting forth in righteous fury and (tinyman)bulging muscles, but with the onetwo punch of longplay logic brainpower to match the elbows and fists on screen, but the sniper/dragonpunch of Simon Pegg (being himself, most essentially) as his Sneaker Deus Ex Machina dickwit fist-in-a-van. That's a dick that is a wit, not a dick without one. I don't like to let the opening minutes of a film (most unlike the pages of a book) to set a bar or level for the rest of everything to follow: but this one did it for itself with the multiple ridiculous and genius references that flash by- If this doggy hadn't been drinking when i started i might've missed them- most certainly the russian literature framework references (leading to invading the Kremlin; obvious and beautiful), and if unlike the the previous 2 movies the one moment in 20 or so that became suddenly sterile and unrushed, (the "if you choose to accept it bit...)" wasn't a stark but welcome contrast to fucmefucmefucmewgathtefuc that is set up (and hopefully continues), then i wouldn't be so hurried myself to say this about short and not give myself a chance to take it all back on principle. and yes, comrade, i wrote those sentences like that one purpose. ...so, quickly, to summate the rest: Bad Robot ls good at dialectic through nonVocal contrast and commentary, and not so well known for the wit, which is (as he is paid for) always and pretty much only supplied by Simon Pegg, who plays the black fella from the other movies. AfroKingpin makes a cameo at the end- and even then it seems made a personal nod to Pegg's addition to the cast and the film (and platform) en total. Cruise's tiny penis doesn't get in the way of Hunt for the first time in 4 movies, so that's cool. While trying not to look like they're attempting to out-24 the others in their genre, and with both of the (industry and world's) monetary backer's fists not only in their asses but also in IMAX on screen to admit and glorify and apologize for their transgressions/financieers, they hold political grace in the film, if you dare to know what im talking about and not ignore it, that is awe-inspiring, if not the visual shots implored to make your sensory array "feel" it. This film is like MALLRATS in reverse, and i realize while typing that maybe it's the first time ive ever called one in this series by that honorable name. Film. IT may not seem like it, but maybe they have a hidden a film here under all that spectacle. Hmm. 7. Mostly because, dare i forget to add this, they limited it to (pretty much) only ONE explosion. And made it count. Fuck you Michael Bay.
The direction of tonight's episode of SPARTACUS: VENGEANCE is not only ultimately masterful, it is antithetical to expectation and diacritical in subtle doublespeak (which the show tries but doesn't always accomplish). The conversation between a* and c* is not only well-crafted art, but sublime in ways only good memory or future watching of previous episodes will unfold. For the first time Lucy Lawless is out-acted by the blonde (who also gives clinic to everyone else on any screen anywhere, here). Also, noteworthy: the combat actions in this episode feature fists of Feminism, Kurosawa homage (but not theft), and a (new) Spartacus who for the first time holds himself like a torn driven man and not a cute ripped teddy bear. The house of Batiatus is filled (just in time for carnival!) with the whores of Bacchus and the blood of Hecate once more.
IMMORTALS was better than it should've been, nevermind TeamJacob or the Ram, though the poetry of the design and direction was definitely not matched by the writing. This is why it is not a great film, i noticed, though it really wants to be. Super success in combat, and maybe one of the rare moments in western cinema where there is a dialogue of struggle, so to speak, both as peasant/king and mortal/divine. The Super part comes from none of it being (wholly and/or abominably derivative) either of what has come before or what has simply not been filmed in the west. The gods/titans battle was beautifully edited against a backdrop of historical actualism (if fictionalised), and though Woo did that already in FACE/OFF and THE KILLER with douchebags/showernozzles and cops/mafia respectively, a little dialogue about anahistoric theology goes a long way. Being this is (kinda) the tale of Theseus/Hyperion faith/doubt reason/passion, it would have been nice to interject a little more desperation and explanation of why the fuck its all so important in the first place. 8. minus one more for #teamJacob. so: 7.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN is like PRECIOUS, but painterly instead of literary, and full of WPS instead of "real" issues but, quite honestly, the Borg Queen isn't CPJ, and this bad egg drama-graphy of a (deliciously) evil turd who even looks plays more like APOCALYPSE LIFETIME! than EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, though i think it wants to really be somewhere between THE ICE STORM and ICE PIRATES, THE GOOD SON and CARRIE. WPS: Alarmacy at its finest. Pharmacies. Blindness. If it were more british and less absurd, Tilda's performance would be worth the hype. It is not. Noteworthy are ezra miller, teen kevin, and alex manette who rips screenspace from even the buildings around him. notefuckingworthymention to the always welcome Siobhan (whos that chubby ginger bitch?) Fallon who is a ballast against the "art" and "acting" spinning around the "direction" of the film, which seemed to take an hour to make up its fucking mind about (something or another). Made me wanna watch HARD CANDY (cause the abstract direction to similar effect works) and vanSant's ELEPHANT again.
HAYWIRE was excellent, though not among the best dix of last year solely because Soderbergh has set his own bar so high. That said, his entire career is exemplified here in two ways (not counting the score): first, he continues to prove that actors are stupid rabid fucking monkeys by making mountains out of nobody (jesus christ Gina Carano save my soul, and wasn't that the point of TGFX a few years ago?) and molehills out of giants (Ewan, Bandanas, and GordonGecko here); and second- it's like he saw ONG BAK and SYRIANA and then played some VIRTUA FIGHTER and MIRROR'S EDGE and was like "anybody know any smokin' hot chicks who can hit really hard?" If the structure wasn't so tincan procedural, and maybe if the dad or any other tertiary but vital male character did anything but stand around and admire their dick (the black dude who worked for GG and stood in the blackground was great at that), then maybe this coulda been a contender. Still, if you like hot smart women who kick ass and/or documentaries and/or "real"life spy shit and/or The Sod...8.
(It's) not hype: THE DESCENDANTS is transcendent;
writing this at forty minutes in- and every
single character every single moment: brings heart-grinding grim,
sold sad beautiful strong breathtaking numbing bumbling brim;
Clooney doth not brizzle alone- even the corpse lay dazzle and brilliant,
this film like every Payne tickles, hurts so splendid.
why couldnt CAPRICA have been a lil more low-brow for the sheeple and kept going? it gets so wonderful at the end.
(BONUS) From the gospel of Wayne: "Well, I worked very, very hard Miss Katie. I love to work. We don't approach things like, 'we're good.' We just approach things like, 'we gonna work and we're gonna work hard' and hard work pays off. If you work that hard, you're gonna get good. And good turns to great. And hopefully, I'm the definition of that."
RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES: Franco is okay, Lithgow believable and beautiful as always, but the star is mighty Caesar. If Gollum doesn't get a nomination for supporting at least, the academy will tile themselves as irrelevant as the Grammys. The holes in the story pale the the relevance of the message, and there is more than enough subtle love on screen to massage them away and make your heart cheer like a reverse-JAWS, or, for me, honestly, the last scene of HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS vis-a-vis DIGGSTOWN. I Don't know if this redeems Burton's very pretty crap, but it will make me see it again. Also, best possible least racist CH cameo possible. ...Third viewing put it in my top pick of the summer and top ten of the year. Easy.
...i've said it before and i'll say it again... FUTURAMA is pound for pound the greatest animated morality tale with the most beautiful metalateral writing in the history of televised genius.
THE GREATEST SINGLE SCENE IN SCENEMATIC HOSTORY EVER! http://youtu.be/Tim5nU3DwIE
I called the real story (of LOST) in the first season ep when Hurley's cd players batteries ran out. I know certain histories will disagree with me, but i still said then and hold now that Hugo was the only person there. we are all Hugo, and all the other characters are dichotomies of who he thinks he should be given his circumstance. Taken as that, there are no missing pieces to the story, simply unimagined actuals due to the limitations of the literate-but-nonintellectual Hugo Hurley.
...Watching the bad robot STAR TREK for like the 5th time... i cheer harder and louder every fucking time hank "PATHFINDER" mcCoy opens his goddamned mouth. He's awesome!
I am OVERLY impressed with that blonde chick (anna torv) from FRINGE's performance in portraying leonard nimoy. a freaking mazing.
HOMELAND went from Good to Great in 4 episodes. Two hours later it becomes Beautiful. Two more and it's Art.