(no subject)
WEll so now its May 1st and i'm still in florida... ive had a job since like the begining of march, which for me is amazing... even more amazing is that i dont hate it other than being paid only 5.15 an hour plus end of the week tip out. its not great but its enough for rent... yeah i pay rent now too. lol. so basically things are going great i have a place to live i have a job i have some friends down here... but i'm still miserable. i'm alone... lonely... i've been single since May 04... this is 2 years now i'm alone and haven't found anybody... nov 04 is the last time i had sex, and i dont really care... i just need someone to be close to someone to hold and love and be loved by... i feel like that's never going to happen... i feel like i need to accept that and keep going. if i accept it maybe i wont be miserable... i dont know how to go out and meet people... i can't walk up to a girl and say hi... i can't start a conversation i can't ask a girl out... i dont know what to do... i feel pathetic... i feel useless...