thanks austin
so i've been bitching and moaning all over my xanga page about cory and the following two guys whose hearts i've broken simply b/c i'm not interested in them. i keep telling them i'm not ready to date again. i dont know if that's true. i dont know if i'm not ready, or if it's b/c i don't want to date them at all.
david, one of the guys, was at the halloween party, but was rude and left without saying goodbye b/c he felt like an outsider. Everyone was an outsider. ppl either knew me or no one. there were 4 exceptions of the 19 ppl there. lame excuse, and very rude. but yeah. austin. 2 of austin's friends, who are very fun ppl, had a little too much fun and passed out in my room and the living room. Which meant i got to cuddle with austin.
i forgot how good that felt, how good he smells. it was nice. i miss the comfort. i'd really forgotten how good it felt to be near some one who cared about me, who wasn't trying to get me to do things i wasnt willing to do, who asked if something was ok, something so silly as putting his arm over me - something he's done so many times before with unspoken permission, and yet he asked. he asked. i missed that - being asked. granted i dont always want to hear "can i ..." or "is it all right if..." but for circumstances where the person doesnt really have a right to assume, it's nice. i missed it, if i ever had it.
so yes, thank you austin. you've made my past few days a little better w/o even trying
david, one of the guys, was at the halloween party, but was rude and left without saying goodbye b/c he felt like an outsider. Everyone was an outsider. ppl either knew me or no one. there were 4 exceptions of the 19 ppl there. lame excuse, and very rude. but yeah. austin. 2 of austin's friends, who are very fun ppl, had a little too much fun and passed out in my room and the living room. Which meant i got to cuddle with austin.
i forgot how good that felt, how good he smells. it was nice. i miss the comfort. i'd really forgotten how good it felt to be near some one who cared about me, who wasn't trying to get me to do things i wasnt willing to do, who asked if something was ok, something so silly as putting his arm over me - something he's done so many times before with unspoken permission, and yet he asked. he asked. i missed that - being asked. granted i dont always want to hear "can i ..." or "is it all right if..." but for circumstances where the person doesnt really have a right to assume, it's nice. i missed it, if i ever had it.
so yes, thank you austin. you've made my past few days a little better w/o even trying