did I screw up again?
I just got off the phone, with a new person.
a new person who's looks alone could probably put me into a deer caught in the headlights like stupor.
while talking to her I could think of little more than try not to think about how attractive she is.
we talked and talked... mostly she talked and I listened and agreed or disagreed.
I suck at the phone.
the phone PWNS me.
:(
she told me to call her, and the problem with that is well only that I cannot come up with what to do.
I think I could have made a better impression. but I have no idea really.
I'm worried mostly. worried that if she does end up wanting to hang out on valentine's day, that I my physically disgust her. my pictures can be misleading.
and yea I suppose other people's pictures can be misleading as well.
but I doubt it with this girl.
okay moving on enough about looks. she is into good music. and we might have a similar thought process on some things... she's much more out going than me, I'm pretty sure of that... she might be a wild one, but I think I'd like that.
I've always wanted a girl that presents a challenge.
but saying and actually doing/having are clearly 2 different things.
I'm not really worried that things won't work out, I don't expect them to.
anyhow she told me she'd give me a call tomorrow and let me know... I'm more worried that I'll sit around all day waiting for a call that never comes. than actually getting a call and being told no. like I wrote earlier, I expect/anticipate the no.
what is there to do for a date anyways? go see a movie? go get some dinner? coffee?
walk on the beach? I don't have any damn clue I'm not good at planning these things. the problem is probably mostly that I have no idea what I want to do. well I mean I'd love to go see smokin' aces have a nice juicy steak and maybe some starbucks after all that and discuss the world, life, and all that jazz.
there's a few problems there though: She's already seen smokin' aces. I don't think she likes meat... I don't know if she's a vegetarian but I'm fairly certain she's not interested in a nice juicy medium-rare steak like I am.
so change the movie change the location but I don't have a back up here....
I don't think that far in advance, I offered up the plan B and she told me she'd get back to me...
what is that?
uh okay so I'll just uhm sit here all night biting my nails hoping I made the right impression on you.
but come on lets all be honest, if I'm really wondering if I made the right impression on someone I probably didn't. I couldn't be myself. I was too nervous. and it was on the phone, the phone is so impersonal IMO. not that the internet is personal.... but at least I can give my self a chance to think before "hitting enter" to send the gobblety-gook that spews from my brain sometimes.
ugh.
all I know, is I've never actually talked to a girl that pretty until now. and now that I have... I'm not sure about anything in the world at all.
I'm not being Emo. I wish people would stop calling me that. I really do think I have problems. anxiety problems I don't know how or why, and I don't want to take pills the rest of my life.
wow weird. she just called me back... again she told me she was bored and that she was watching sleepy hollow. man I'm so fucking confused right now.
a new person who's looks alone could probably put me into a deer caught in the headlights like stupor.
while talking to her I could think of little more than try not to think about how attractive she is.
we talked and talked... mostly she talked and I listened and agreed or disagreed.
I suck at the phone.
the phone PWNS me.
:(
she told me to call her, and the problem with that is well only that I cannot come up with what to do.
I think I could have made a better impression. but I have no idea really.
I'm worried mostly. worried that if she does end up wanting to hang out on valentine's day, that I my physically disgust her. my pictures can be misleading.
and yea I suppose other people's pictures can be misleading as well.
but I doubt it with this girl.
okay moving on enough about looks. she is into good music. and we might have a similar thought process on some things... she's much more out going than me, I'm pretty sure of that... she might be a wild one, but I think I'd like that.
I've always wanted a girl that presents a challenge.
but saying and actually doing/having are clearly 2 different things.
I'm not really worried that things won't work out, I don't expect them to.
anyhow she told me she'd give me a call tomorrow and let me know... I'm more worried that I'll sit around all day waiting for a call that never comes. than actually getting a call and being told no. like I wrote earlier, I expect/anticipate the no.
what is there to do for a date anyways? go see a movie? go get some dinner? coffee?
walk on the beach? I don't have any damn clue I'm not good at planning these things. the problem is probably mostly that I have no idea what I want to do. well I mean I'd love to go see smokin' aces have a nice juicy steak and maybe some starbucks after all that and discuss the world, life, and all that jazz.
there's a few problems there though: She's already seen smokin' aces. I don't think she likes meat... I don't know if she's a vegetarian but I'm fairly certain she's not interested in a nice juicy medium-rare steak like I am.
so change the movie change the location but I don't have a back up here....
I don't think that far in advance, I offered up the plan B and she told me she'd get back to me...
what is that?
uh okay so I'll just uhm sit here all night biting my nails hoping I made the right impression on you.
but come on lets all be honest, if I'm really wondering if I made the right impression on someone I probably didn't. I couldn't be myself. I was too nervous. and it was on the phone, the phone is so impersonal IMO. not that the internet is personal.... but at least I can give my self a chance to think before "hitting enter" to send the gobblety-gook that spews from my brain sometimes.
ugh.
all I know, is I've never actually talked to a girl that pretty until now. and now that I have... I'm not sure about anything in the world at all.
I'm not being Emo. I wish people would stop calling me that. I really do think I have problems. anxiety problems I don't know how or why, and I don't want to take pills the rest of my life.
wow weird. she just called me back... again she told me she was bored and that she was watching sleepy hollow. man I'm so fucking confused right now.