I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello

[th3short0ne]

I've been feeling like my whole life lately has been a connect-the-dots series of running around from place to place and seeing people "for the last time." Not necessarily saying goodbye, but feeling, either at that moment or in retrospect, that it was a kind of goodbye. Two weeks ago it was Bob, then Saturday was Alisa, Ed, Jason, and maybe some other people. Tuesday was Sean, today was Becca and Dan (my work friends) and next up are Mindy and Michelle. It's hard to say what I expect of these "last-time" encounters with people--I guess if nothing else, I want to make kind of a photo album in my head of that last moment I spent with each person before entering a new chapter in my life. Because I'm a sentimental person in that way, I guess. But the more of these last moments I've collected, the more it has occurred to me that this isn't really the "last time" for anything. I mean, yes, this is going to be a big step forward in my life, but in reality, people are always changing; nothing is ever completely stationary. Even though seeing these people "for the last time" is a way for me to put some closure on things, to wrap all my memories up in a big bundle to bring with me to college, the reality is, there is nothing that marks this time as "the end." I see a big door opening, but none closing. People are moving away, yes, and I won't be seeing them quite as much as I used to, but I know the people who have most shaped me as a person in the last few years will not be disappearing from my life anytime soon. Not if I can help it. =)

So sometimes I think, enough of these "goodbye's." Enough of these elaborately planned out "last time" encounters, that I always expect much more from than I get. Maybe it's just better to let life run its course. Not that I don't want to see everybody...but I just want to be able to stop thinking of it as "goodbye."

Am I right, or am I just in some kind of denial?