(no subject)
My dog is asleep on the big, fluffy, green armchair right next to me. She likes to drag pieces of my clothing out of my room, all the way up here, put them on the chair, and lay all over them.
She's sleeping on my clothes, and she's having some kind of dream. I can hear her breathing very heavily, and snoring, letting out the occasional yip, and getting all twitchy.
I want to wake her up, because she seems scared, but it could be a good dream. I don't know this, but I feel bad letting her lay there and twitch... if she's scared, I don't want to let her just lay there and be scared. That would make me a bad mommy.
I mean... she's mine. But she knows my mom as mommy. When it thunders, though, she's all mine, laying in a quivering, panting, shedding heap on my chest.
That's why I get all jealous when my friends have babies. I feel like a mommy, I want to BE a mommy more than anything, and I've raised this dog (and yes, I know there is NO comparison) from a 3 pound little scared lump of fur into this big adult dog... that when I moved out, my mother spoiled.
I know I'd be a good mommy because my maternal instinct is so unbelievably strong and overwhelming. I just know that... Matt would want to give a baby up if we were to have one.
And I'm not sure.... that I could handle that.
She's sleeping on my clothes, and she's having some kind of dream. I can hear her breathing very heavily, and snoring, letting out the occasional yip, and getting all twitchy.
I want to wake her up, because she seems scared, but it could be a good dream. I don't know this, but I feel bad letting her lay there and twitch... if she's scared, I don't want to let her just lay there and be scared. That would make me a bad mommy.
I mean... she's mine. But she knows my mom as mommy. When it thunders, though, she's all mine, laying in a quivering, panting, shedding heap on my chest.
That's why I get all jealous when my friends have babies. I feel like a mommy, I want to BE a mommy more than anything, and I've raised this dog (and yes, I know there is NO comparison) from a 3 pound little scared lump of fur into this big adult dog... that when I moved out, my mother spoiled.
I know I'd be a good mommy because my maternal instinct is so unbelievably strong and overwhelming. I just know that... Matt would want to give a baby up if we were to have one.
And I'm not sure.... that I could handle that.