As I type......
I feel alone at times, noone could ever begin to understand me. I've been living with myself for my entire life, and I still don't understand me. I just feel like I have a huge void that has never been filled. I believed twice that I was in love. I guess thats just because I felt as if I needed to be in love. I still believe that, but I want it to be real. As much as I give the whole, "you're young, enjoy life" speech to myself, I don't believe it for one second. I've had only one , one-night stand in my life and it drives me crazy thinking about it. As much as I try not to be, I can only be a one girl man. I've gotten to the point where sex isn't even the issue. I've had sex, it's overrated, and impersonal. People don't see it as a puzzle being put together. Sex is no longer how you make babies, it's how you make a date worthwhile. I just want someone to share myself with. I fall asleep at night wondering what it would be like having someone there with me. Yet, I wake up alone. I realized today that my depression hasn't gone anywhere. I find myself, burnt out everyday. Theres no drive, no fire in me. I feel like my existence is meaningless. So alone I feel, noone cold understand me or the man I am. noone........