A question of "passing"
There has been a discussion going on within a support group that I am a member of, the discussion question was “What’s it like not passing?”
One person said “I have come to the conclusion that passing (awful word) is a state of mind: if you believe you pass then you do.”
For me it's not even about believing that I pass. I Simply know that I am a woman.
Maybe that's simply a different way of saying the same thing?!
I had believed this fact for years and when I transitioned last year, how I looked only mattered in as much as that I didn't want to cause too much of a stir and attract undesirable attention for whoever was with me. (That is still important to me today but I'd like to think that if I do have any hassle on my own then I'm far more thick skinned then I used to be.)
Last year, I went full time only 6 weeks after my first IPL (laser hair removal) treatment and 2 months before starting any hormones.
When I socially transitioned I truly no longer cared that i might look like a "dog's dinner". I was just sick of having a masculinise body and being perceived to be male when it was not the way I knew myself to be.
I had said in conversations, at the time, with Emma that it made no difference to me if I looked "good" or not... What type of "woman" I looked like. I only knew that I could no longer continue the lie I was living as a presumed male. I did my best to ignore whatever was said to me by strangers in the street and corrected anyone who called me "Sir" in a professional situation.
Now 11 months full time (FT) and 9 months on hormonal medication (HRT) and my interaction with strangers on a daily basis has been hassle free for weeks and even on the telephone there only sometimes been an issue.
Obviously I have gained confidence and all the treatment I've had over the last 9 months has changed my appearance/presentation considerably.
I don't think about whether I pass or not, I simply like to look and feel good and as before, I know I'm a woman. Generally speaking I have felt my identity to be that of a woman (I struggled for years with the fact that I identified as female but that is another story).
At the start of treatment I was asked "How do I wish to be perceived?"
I replied "At best, as a female and at worst as a transgendered female. Just not as a male."
To this end I felt better from the moment I transitioned but then things progressed so that I wanted to look better as a “transitioned” woman and avoid the undesirable interactions that I experienced. As I progressed I desired to be treated with greater respect regardless of what the other person privately thought of me.
These days I feel normal. Yes, I do endeavor to look good but it’s as much for my own sense of well being, my partner's and my friend's. And it’s nice to be complimented. If and when I do get read or addressed mistakenly, I, as before, correct people. But I do get annoyed by people whose reactions reveal a bigoted attitude - that's when I start to get on my political soapbox about dealing with social acceptance and equality for transgendered people.
One person said “I have come to the conclusion that passing (awful word) is a state of mind: if you believe you pass then you do.”
For me it's not even about believing that I pass. I Simply know that I am a woman.
Maybe that's simply a different way of saying the same thing?!
I had believed this fact for years and when I transitioned last year, how I looked only mattered in as much as that I didn't want to cause too much of a stir and attract undesirable attention for whoever was with me. (That is still important to me today but I'd like to think that if I do have any hassle on my own then I'm far more thick skinned then I used to be.)
Last year, I went full time only 6 weeks after my first IPL (laser hair removal) treatment and 2 months before starting any hormones.
When I socially transitioned I truly no longer cared that i might look like a "dog's dinner". I was just sick of having a masculinise body and being perceived to be male when it was not the way I knew myself to be.
I had said in conversations, at the time, with Emma that it made no difference to me if I looked "good" or not... What type of "woman" I looked like. I only knew that I could no longer continue the lie I was living as a presumed male. I did my best to ignore whatever was said to me by strangers in the street and corrected anyone who called me "Sir" in a professional situation.
Now 11 months full time (FT) and 9 months on hormonal medication (HRT) and my interaction with strangers on a daily basis has been hassle free for weeks and even on the telephone there only sometimes been an issue.
Obviously I have gained confidence and all the treatment I've had over the last 9 months has changed my appearance/presentation considerably.
I don't think about whether I pass or not, I simply like to look and feel good and as before, I know I'm a woman. Generally speaking I have felt my identity to be that of a woman (I struggled for years with the fact that I identified as female but that is another story).
At the start of treatment I was asked "How do I wish to be perceived?"
I replied "At best, as a female and at worst as a transgendered female. Just not as a male."
To this end I felt better from the moment I transitioned but then things progressed so that I wanted to look better as a “transitioned” woman and avoid the undesirable interactions that I experienced. As I progressed I desired to be treated with greater respect regardless of what the other person privately thought of me.
These days I feel normal. Yes, I do endeavor to look good but it’s as much for my own sense of well being, my partner's and my friend's. And it’s nice to be complimented. If and when I do get read or addressed mistakenly, I, as before, correct people. But I do get annoyed by people whose reactions reveal a bigoted attitude - that's when I start to get on my political soapbox about dealing with social acceptance and equality for transgendered people.