The group I attend is at http://www.geocities.com/ftmcompass/ if you want to check us out for ideas. We're completely informal, no one's in charge, we just all show up every month and we have great meetings. We have an e-mail list to keep in touch between meetings, and a paper contact list that people can add themselves to, with no pressure to include any sort of info - just a first name is fine, or you can give your first name, surname, home address, phone number, e-mail ... whatever you're comfortable with. Topics are picked in advance for 6 months at a time, suggested and then voted on. If people don't feel like talking about the topic at a particular meeting, we don't talk about it. We adjust to meet the needs of the people who are there at any given time. A small meeting for us is under ten people; these days we average 15-20 people per month. Once, a few years ago, we had about 40 people at a single meeting. (Bit crowded, that.) People come from out of state as much as they're able, as well as from assorted parts of the Boston area.
If you can get a meeting space for free, absolutely do so. Charging fees is a way to get a lot of people to not come, because they can't afford it or they don't like that you charge or both. When we were meeting in a space that wasn't free, we passed a hat at the end of every meeting - and made it clear every time that there was absolutely no pressure to put in money, no judgement if you didn't or if you put in less than someone else, etc. And then we made good on that; it wasn't just a token comment, there really was no pressure, no judgement and no guilt. We didn't make much money, but we paid our rent (meetings were 2 hours a month so rent was never a lot, we have no space besides at meetings, no office or anything) and had a couple hundred dollars left when we found a free (and confidential and safe-feeling) space, part of which we used to have a party last December (at a different space, still confidential and safe-feeling but I think we did have to pay a bit to use it for an evening - a member helped us secure the space through connections from his old job, I think). The party was fantastic and we're hoping to do it again if anyone will get off their arse and organise it. ;)
Wow. That was EXACTLY the sort of help I was really hoping for.
I like the fact that you decide discussions beforehand, I had wondered somewhat about what would happen if we all met up and had nothing to talk about.
You've also highlighted the neccessity of a good website and name.
If you can get a meeting space for free, absolutely do so. Charging fees is a way to get a lot of people to not come, because they can't afford it or they don't like that you charge or both. When we were meeting in a space that wasn't free, we passed a hat at the end of every meeting - and made it clear every time that there was absolutely no pressure to put in money, no judgement if you didn't or if you put in less than someone else, etc. And then we made good on that; it wasn't just a token comment, there really was no pressure, no judgement and no guilt. We didn't make much money, but we paid our rent (meetings were 2 hours a month so rent was never a lot, we have no space besides at meetings, no office or anything) and had a couple hundred dollars left when we found a free (and confidential and safe-feeling) space, part of which we used to have a party last December (at a different space, still confidential and safe-feeling but I think we did have to pay a bit to use it for an evening - a member helped us secure the space through connections from his old job, I think). The party was fantastic and we're hoping to do it again if anyone will get off their arse and organise it. ;)
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I like the fact that you decide discussions beforehand, I had wondered somewhat about what would happen if we all met up and had nothing to talk about.
You've also highlighted the neccessity of a good website and name.
Reply
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