Unstacking the dishwasher is good angry-work
That is, if you aren't into smashing things. Right now I'm significantly less angry than I was before I unstacked the dishwasher. Either way... Stacey you had your turn, now it's mine.
Our city has been plagued by a dead downtown for a while now... probably a good amount of time before I was even aware that the area was called "downtown". City council has often talked about doing things to improve things downtown: more stores, whatever the fuck they can find. You know what though? DOWNTOWN NEEDS PARKING. I should be at a concert right now... one that I need to attend for school for marks. With my current work schedule (the schedule and it being a restaurant so I work on nights that are fucking concert nights) I can't afford to miss any concerts. But here I am, with a performance mark that will be worse than last year.
Call me stupid, call me whatever you want... but that stings. That hurts. I have put so much fucking time into my performance this year.. more than I ever have... I've been driving myself harder and longer this year so that I can improve myself. And I come out with a lower mark because now students have to be full-time workers to pay for being full-time students... Fuck.
If this was a big city I could trust some other form of transportation... but yea. I'm done. I quit. I need food. Food rarely makes me angry.
It scares me that the one thing that has been working out for me lately, that I enjoy and look forward going to... is work. I have fun there, I need not worry about anything but the task at hand, and everyone is friendly.
I've been averaging about an hour a day on the flute. I've lost it. I want to keep going but I just can't. Not this week. Not last week. Not even the break week. After kiwanis I didn't see my flute for a few days. I miss playing... I can feel that my hands want to be pressing on the keys, and my lips want to be on the mouthpiece, channelling my air stream. Even typing that makes me want to play... but once I pick it up there's nothing. I get distracted. I lose, soemthing.
Ugh.
Our city has been plagued by a dead downtown for a while now... probably a good amount of time before I was even aware that the area was called "downtown". City council has often talked about doing things to improve things downtown: more stores, whatever the fuck they can find. You know what though? DOWNTOWN NEEDS PARKING. I should be at a concert right now... one that I need to attend for school for marks. With my current work schedule (the schedule and it being a restaurant so I work on nights that are fucking concert nights) I can't afford to miss any concerts. But here I am, with a performance mark that will be worse than last year.
Call me stupid, call me whatever you want... but that stings. That hurts. I have put so much fucking time into my performance this year.. more than I ever have... I've been driving myself harder and longer this year so that I can improve myself. And I come out with a lower mark because now students have to be full-time workers to pay for being full-time students... Fuck.
If this was a big city I could trust some other form of transportation... but yea. I'm done. I quit. I need food. Food rarely makes me angry.
It scares me that the one thing that has been working out for me lately, that I enjoy and look forward going to... is work. I have fun there, I need not worry about anything but the task at hand, and everyone is friendly.
I've been averaging about an hour a day on the flute. I've lost it. I want to keep going but I just can't. Not this week. Not last week. Not even the break week. After kiwanis I didn't see my flute for a few days. I miss playing... I can feel that my hands want to be pressing on the keys, and my lips want to be on the mouthpiece, channelling my air stream. Even typing that makes me want to play... but once I pick it up there's nothing. I get distracted. I lose, soemthing.
Ugh.