Life As a 12-Step Program
Here's my interpretation of life as a 12-step program
Step 1: Birth. This is one of the more important steps, seeing as none of them could follow without this one.
Step 2: The Free Years. We all remember these carefree years, when we usually had one or both parents at home for us to abuse during the day, and school was a foreign concept. Oh, if only we could go back. Happier times indeed.
Step 3: Preschool. Ah, yes. Preschool. Our first taste of what will become a seemingly endless pursuit of a little piece of paper saying "Congratulations, You didn't fail or manage to kill yourself while in high school, now get the hell out of here before we notify the authorities." Preschool was fun, although I was once put in timeout for taking someones snowman and giving him a carrot in place of something that is not usually a carrot, if you get my drift. [ I went to preschool in Indiana, hence the snow.]
Step 4: Chickenpox. Ahhh, yes. The AIDS of small children. I somehow managed to catch chickenpox from some jerk in Indiana, and thus while we were visiting my grandparents in Louisville, KY I broke out in a massive case of chickenpox. You'd think my parents would remove my brother from my prescence, but no, they PUT US IN A ROOM TOGETHER UNTIL THEY WERE SATISFIED HE HAD AMPLE TIME TO CATCH CHIKENPOX FROM ME. Parents, you say? Funny, I only know them as Agents of the Pox.
Step 5: Moving. If you're gonna move, now is the best time to do it. Especially if you pimped all the Lil Ho's in preschool, and now you've got a bad reputation as "That Fraher Boy". Yeah, a slight shift of location [800 miles] could be just what the doctor ordered.
Step 6: Kindergarten. A little-known fact about Kindergarten is that it is actually German for "The Beginning of the End", which is just about as accurate a phrase as I heard. I had a backpack with dinosaurs on it, and I thought Hillary Chinigo had cooties.
Step 7: The Rest of Elementary School. Not really important, except for long division. This is by far the hardest concept I've ever dealt with in math, mostly because I was too busy kicking ass at Spelling to pay attention. Damn.
Step 8: Middle School. Welcome to hell, kid. Middle School is like the current Walton High School forums in terms of intelligence and raging stupidity of the whole thing, except in middle school you learn Algebra.
Step 9: High School. Overall, I'd have to say I've enjoyed high school, except that one time they threatened to expel me. And that other time when J.J. Dienno thought it would be a fantastic idea to tell everybody I smoked weed and used girls like nobodys business (this was in freshman year). Thanks alot, pal! Not that I'm bitter.
Step 10: College. Gentlemen, start your livers. A happy 4 years of drinking and occasionally thinking about school. Spells "paradise" in any language.
Step 11: Work. Hahahaha, have fun with this one.
Step 12: Death. End of the line for you, buster.
Current Mood: Dazed and confused
Current Music: A Perfect Cirlce : The Outsider
Step 1: Birth. This is one of the more important steps, seeing as none of them could follow without this one.
Step 2: The Free Years. We all remember these carefree years, when we usually had one or both parents at home for us to abuse during the day, and school was a foreign concept. Oh, if only we could go back. Happier times indeed.
Step 3: Preschool. Ah, yes. Preschool. Our first taste of what will become a seemingly endless pursuit of a little piece of paper saying "Congratulations, You didn't fail or manage to kill yourself while in high school, now get the hell out of here before we notify the authorities." Preschool was fun, although I was once put in timeout for taking someones snowman and giving him a carrot in place of something that is not usually a carrot, if you get my drift. [ I went to preschool in Indiana, hence the snow.]
Step 4: Chickenpox. Ahhh, yes. The AIDS of small children. I somehow managed to catch chickenpox from some jerk in Indiana, and thus while we were visiting my grandparents in Louisville, KY I broke out in a massive case of chickenpox. You'd think my parents would remove my brother from my prescence, but no, they PUT US IN A ROOM TOGETHER UNTIL THEY WERE SATISFIED HE HAD AMPLE TIME TO CATCH CHIKENPOX FROM ME. Parents, you say? Funny, I only know them as Agents of the Pox.
Step 5: Moving. If you're gonna move, now is the best time to do it. Especially if you pimped all the Lil Ho's in preschool, and now you've got a bad reputation as "That Fraher Boy". Yeah, a slight shift of location [800 miles] could be just what the doctor ordered.
Step 6: Kindergarten. A little-known fact about Kindergarten is that it is actually German for "The Beginning of the End", which is just about as accurate a phrase as I heard. I had a backpack with dinosaurs on it, and I thought Hillary Chinigo had cooties.
Step 7: The Rest of Elementary School. Not really important, except for long division. This is by far the hardest concept I've ever dealt with in math, mostly because I was too busy kicking ass at Spelling to pay attention. Damn.
Step 8: Middle School. Welcome to hell, kid. Middle School is like the current Walton High School forums in terms of intelligence and raging stupidity of the whole thing, except in middle school you learn Algebra.
Step 9: High School. Overall, I'd have to say I've enjoyed high school, except that one time they threatened to expel me. And that other time when J.J. Dienno thought it would be a fantastic idea to tell everybody I smoked weed and used girls like nobodys business (this was in freshman year). Thanks alot, pal! Not that I'm bitter.
Step 10: College. Gentlemen, start your livers. A happy 4 years of drinking and occasionally thinking about school. Spells "paradise" in any language.
Step 11: Work. Hahahaha, have fun with this one.
Step 12: Death. End of the line for you, buster.
Current Mood: Dazed and confused
Current Music: A Perfect Cirlce : The Outsider