Prompt 4 Response
Sixshot’s reflexes were some of the best in the universe. Which was possibly the only reason he was able to snatch the remote, change the channel, and slump back down on the couch before the door behind him cycled open and the Terrorcons burst in in their usual tumult of noise and smell.
“What you watching?” Cutthroat flung himself over the back of the couch, combat rolling next to him, then overshooting and crashing into the floor. The mech righted himself, shrugged, and leaned against the couch’s seat instead, as though that was what he had meant to do all along.
What, uh, what was he watching? “News.”
“BORING,” Sinnertwin said. “C’mon. Soundwave’s hacked a ton of channels. There’s gotta be some porn on or something.”
“Is that all you think about?” Hun-Grr hovered behind the couch’s back, optics intent on the screen.
“Really? YOU of all mechs gonna question me about being single-minded?” Sinnertwin chortled. “Hey. I think there’s still a bag of energon crisps in the storage.”
A whining rumble from just behind Sixshot’s head-Hun-Grr’s tank seizing on the idea. Masked-poorly-by Hun-Grr snapping, “Cute. Very cute.”
“I am, aren’t I?” Sinnertwin’s glossa flicked out of his mouth, taunting. “I’ve got two heads because just one can’t contain all the cute.”
“Shut it,” Rippersnapper slung himself over the couch’s arm. “Trying to watch this ‘news’.”
“News. It’s all the same.” Cutthroat leaned over with a complete lack of suave, to nibble on Sixshot’s foot. “Some squishy making speeches. Someone gets shot. Humans can’t control their vehicles and have accidents. None of that is ‘new’.”
“Or even interesting.” Rippersnapper frowned. “Half the time they don’t even show the good stuff of the accidents. Just some distance shot with tape and telling you how many people got injured. Frag that.”
“So…,” Sinnertwin turned his optics to Sixshot. “Why you watchin’ it?”
Sixshot frowned. Well, the whole point had been he hadn’t been watching it, but…. “Learn about human culture. Weaknesses to exploit.” He saw the doubt in their optics. Straightened on the couch, discreetly pulling his foot out from under Cutthroat’s mouth. He did not need tickling to further distract him. “Phase Six thing. You, uh, you wouldn’t understand.” That generally covered a multitude of sins.
“Oh I GET IT!” Blot burst out, skating in his own goo around the edge of the sofa. He held out a soggy bag of energon crisps, offering to each in turn. One by one they refused, a few recoiling. Except Hun-Grr, who, after a moment, snatched the bag from the other mech. Blot was undeterred. “Like,” he turned to the screen, which was showing a bear falling out of a tree and landing on a trampoline, “now you know they have flying bears!”
“How the frag does he exploit that?” Cutthroat hunched, surly, against the cushion, put out that the foot had been tugged out of reach. He folded his arms over his chassis, frowning.
“Not really flying,” Rippersnapper pointed out. “More like…bouncing.”
“So…they make…good field-expedient projectiles!” Blot announced, bouncing on his heels.
“Projectiles aren’t supposed to bounce,” Hun-Grr said around a mouthful of somehow still-crispy crisps. “Kind of useless as projectiles if they bounce off what you throw them at.”
“But they’re BEARS,” Sinnertwin said. “Kinda think humans would find having a bear thrown at them to be pretty intimidating.”
“Should throw Blot at them.” Cutthroat glared.
“You can.” Rippersnapper retorted, reaching up for the chips. “Me? I’d like to be able to, you know, not touch him.”
Hun-Grr sighed, that sigh Sixshot recognized as the ‘why am I the only one who remembers we’re supposed to be a team?’ sigh. “How ‘bout this? Next time we’re down there. If we find a bear, we can try it.” A pause. “IF we find a bear.”
“This is still boring,” Sinnertwin said, groping for the remote. “I’m gonna see what else is on.”
Sixshot lunged for the remote, but Sinnertwin beat him to it and hit the Prev Chan button.
Sixshot froze as the screen changed, filled with a small human female in a black robe and white lacy collar. A bright graphic flashed “and on the next…Judge Judy…,” before he jerked the remote out of Sinnertwin’s hand and toggled the remote firmly back to the news.
A sudden silence. All of the Terrorcons’ heads-which was a lot-turned in unison to stare at Sixshot.
“Human legal system,” he snapped, defensively. “Told you. Phase Six thing.” He glowered.
“Nuh-hunh,” Blot said. “You like her! I can see it in your face!”
“Do not!” Sixshot glowered. “That is a human. We are here to exploit their planet.”
“So?” Sinnertwin’s face was getting that evil smirk on it. “You have a crush on a squishy!”
Sixshot growled. “I find her interpretations of their law to be interesting.” And sassy. In a way he did admire. He particularly liked the way she didn’t put up with nonsense. “It’s not a ‘crush’.” He stared Sinnertwin down.
“Since when you such a student of the law, Sixshot?” Cutthroat chortled.
“Then why didn’t you want us to see it?” Blot tilted his head, something leaking in a long, putrid string from his audio.
“I have my reasons.” Not very good ones, but, whatever. He was a Phase Sixer. He destroyed planets. He didn’t need to explain anything. Dammit.
“Yeahhunh,” Hun-Grr said, behind him, pausing to lick his fingers free of energon crisp crumb, “Just admit it.”
“Really, Sixshot. Save yourself a lot of trouble this way,” Rippersnapper added. “Harder you resist, the more we keep poking.”
Yeah, he’d…figured that out already. Still, stonewall. “I do not have an attraction to a tiny human.”
“You should offer her a ride!” Sinnertwin fell backwards, shrieking with giggles. He flipped back to the channel, another episode on. “Huh. Wonder what she’s got under that robe thing.”
“Tentacles, one can hope,” Rippersnapper said. “Tired of these humans all being so…squishy and pink and boring.”
"Ooooh, like a Quintesson!" Cutthroat's optics gleamed. "Kinky."
“She does not have tentacles.” Sixshot glowered. Though…he wouldn’t mind.
“How do you know?” Coming from Blot, it was an innocent question. Which made it worse.
Hun-Grr crumpled the empty bag of crisps. “Look. Sixshot. Just…go with it. Trust me. Worse things to have crushes on, and the idiots don’t mean any harm. They’re just…idiots.”
“Hey, you’re one of us idiots, too!”
Hun-Grr gave a sigh. “Yeah. Unfortunately.”
“Just accept it,” Rippersnapper said, nodding sagely. “You’re one of us.”
Sinnertwin stopped his cackling, long enough to add, “It’s a Terrorcon thing.”
“What you watching?” Cutthroat flung himself over the back of the couch, combat rolling next to him, then overshooting and crashing into the floor. The mech righted himself, shrugged, and leaned against the couch’s seat instead, as though that was what he had meant to do all along.
What, uh, what was he watching? “News.”
“BORING,” Sinnertwin said. “C’mon. Soundwave’s hacked a ton of channels. There’s gotta be some porn on or something.”
“Is that all you think about?” Hun-Grr hovered behind the couch’s back, optics intent on the screen.
“Really? YOU of all mechs gonna question me about being single-minded?” Sinnertwin chortled. “Hey. I think there’s still a bag of energon crisps in the storage.”
A whining rumble from just behind Sixshot’s head-Hun-Grr’s tank seizing on the idea. Masked-poorly-by Hun-Grr snapping, “Cute. Very cute.”
“I am, aren’t I?” Sinnertwin’s glossa flicked out of his mouth, taunting. “I’ve got two heads because just one can’t contain all the cute.”
“Shut it,” Rippersnapper slung himself over the couch’s arm. “Trying to watch this ‘news’.”
“News. It’s all the same.” Cutthroat leaned over with a complete lack of suave, to nibble on Sixshot’s foot. “Some squishy making speeches. Someone gets shot. Humans can’t control their vehicles and have accidents. None of that is ‘new’.”
“Or even interesting.” Rippersnapper frowned. “Half the time they don’t even show the good stuff of the accidents. Just some distance shot with tape and telling you how many people got injured. Frag that.”
“So…,” Sinnertwin turned his optics to Sixshot. “Why you watchin’ it?”
Sixshot frowned. Well, the whole point had been he hadn’t been watching it, but…. “Learn about human culture. Weaknesses to exploit.” He saw the doubt in their optics. Straightened on the couch, discreetly pulling his foot out from under Cutthroat’s mouth. He did not need tickling to further distract him. “Phase Six thing. You, uh, you wouldn’t understand.” That generally covered a multitude of sins.
“Oh I GET IT!” Blot burst out, skating in his own goo around the edge of the sofa. He held out a soggy bag of energon crisps, offering to each in turn. One by one they refused, a few recoiling. Except Hun-Grr, who, after a moment, snatched the bag from the other mech. Blot was undeterred. “Like,” he turned to the screen, which was showing a bear falling out of a tree and landing on a trampoline, “now you know they have flying bears!”
“How the frag does he exploit that?” Cutthroat hunched, surly, against the cushion, put out that the foot had been tugged out of reach. He folded his arms over his chassis, frowning.
“Not really flying,” Rippersnapper pointed out. “More like…bouncing.”
“So…they make…good field-expedient projectiles!” Blot announced, bouncing on his heels.
“Projectiles aren’t supposed to bounce,” Hun-Grr said around a mouthful of somehow still-crispy crisps. “Kind of useless as projectiles if they bounce off what you throw them at.”
“But they’re BEARS,” Sinnertwin said. “Kinda think humans would find having a bear thrown at them to be pretty intimidating.”
“Should throw Blot at them.” Cutthroat glared.
“You can.” Rippersnapper retorted, reaching up for the chips. “Me? I’d like to be able to, you know, not touch him.”
Hun-Grr sighed, that sigh Sixshot recognized as the ‘why am I the only one who remembers we’re supposed to be a team?’ sigh. “How ‘bout this? Next time we’re down there. If we find a bear, we can try it.” A pause. “IF we find a bear.”
“This is still boring,” Sinnertwin said, groping for the remote. “I’m gonna see what else is on.”
Sixshot lunged for the remote, but Sinnertwin beat him to it and hit the Prev Chan button.
Sixshot froze as the screen changed, filled with a small human female in a black robe and white lacy collar. A bright graphic flashed “and on the next…Judge Judy…,” before he jerked the remote out of Sinnertwin’s hand and toggled the remote firmly back to the news.
A sudden silence. All of the Terrorcons’ heads-which was a lot-turned in unison to stare at Sixshot.
“Human legal system,” he snapped, defensively. “Told you. Phase Six thing.” He glowered.
“Nuh-hunh,” Blot said. “You like her! I can see it in your face!”
“Do not!” Sixshot glowered. “That is a human. We are here to exploit their planet.”
“So?” Sinnertwin’s face was getting that evil smirk on it. “You have a crush on a squishy!”
Sixshot growled. “I find her interpretations of their law to be interesting.” And sassy. In a way he did admire. He particularly liked the way she didn’t put up with nonsense. “It’s not a ‘crush’.” He stared Sinnertwin down.
“Since when you such a student of the law, Sixshot?” Cutthroat chortled.
“Then why didn’t you want us to see it?” Blot tilted his head, something leaking in a long, putrid string from his audio.
“I have my reasons.” Not very good ones, but, whatever. He was a Phase Sixer. He destroyed planets. He didn’t need to explain anything. Dammit.
“Yeahhunh,” Hun-Grr said, behind him, pausing to lick his fingers free of energon crisp crumb, “Just admit it.”
“Really, Sixshot. Save yourself a lot of trouble this way,” Rippersnapper added. “Harder you resist, the more we keep poking.”
Yeah, he’d…figured that out already. Still, stonewall. “I do not have an attraction to a tiny human.”
“You should offer her a ride!” Sinnertwin fell backwards, shrieking with giggles. He flipped back to the channel, another episode on. “Huh. Wonder what she’s got under that robe thing.”
“Tentacles, one can hope,” Rippersnapper said. “Tired of these humans all being so…squishy and pink and boring.”
"Ooooh, like a Quintesson!" Cutthroat's optics gleamed. "Kinky."
“She does not have tentacles.” Sixshot glowered. Though…he wouldn’t mind.
“How do you know?” Coming from Blot, it was an innocent question. Which made it worse.
Hun-Grr crumpled the empty bag of crisps. “Look. Sixshot. Just…go with it. Trust me. Worse things to have crushes on, and the idiots don’t mean any harm. They’re just…idiots.”
“Hey, you’re one of us idiots, too!”
Hun-Grr gave a sigh. “Yeah. Unfortunately.”
“Just accept it,” Rippersnapper said, nodding sagely. “You’re one of us.”
Sinnertwin stopped his cackling, long enough to add, “It’s a Terrorcon thing.”