When She Makes Me Sad - Weekly Request Response
Hello hello guys!
Been out of the loop for a very long time, but I managed to cook up this short little drabble. :)
Inspired heavily by Vermilion (Part 2) by Slipknot.
The bolded words are song lyrics that inspired the drabble. Everything else is normal monolouge/dialouge.
Prompt: Bumblebee/Slipstream (TFP) - Fly Away Home
Rating: K+
Synopsis: There’s no use even thinking about the past, but I can’t help it sometimes.
When She Makes Me Sad
She is dressed in all of me
Sometimes I think of her.
Stretched across my shame.
And I remember.
All the torment and the pain
That she chose something over me. Something else over being with me.
Leaked through and colored me
She chose all of Cybertron, dying and grey, over me.
I’d do anything to have her to myself
And it was alright. I understood why.
Just to have her for myself,
But sometimes, when I’m lonely, way before our team met the kids, I would go out and look up at the stars.
Now I don’t know what to do
I’d imagine how things would be if there was no war. No Autobots or Decepticons. No warlords to tear your voice away from you. No weary leaders to watch everything be taken from them. We’d be amongst those glowing balls of gas, free. Completely free. To choose what we wanted. To live without restraint.
I don’t know what to do
I’d imagine how things would be if they were different. I’d imagine I’d have a life with her, maybe on Cybertron. Maybe even with sparklings. If not a life, maybe a chance.
When she makes me sad.
Pathetic, aren’t I?
She is everything to me,
Back on Cybertron, I remember laying in the rubble. Not too far away, Starscream and the other fliers were about to take off.
And there she was.
The unrequited dream
In purple and silver and green. About to take off. To leave for safety.
The song that no one sings
I reached out to her, tried to call out to her. Not to stop her, but to say goodbye. And, well…..
The unattainable
I forgot that I couldn’t.
She’s a myth that I have to believe in
A foolish part of me believed she would come back when the fighting died down. Even if just to find my empty chassis and drag it off somewhere for an impromptu funeral.
The fighting didn’t die down, and neither did I.
All I need to make her real is one more reason
But she came back to me.
I don’t know what to do
As Teletraan-1 traveled through the cold space, away from the battles and somewhat-away from the danger zone, she found me out.
I don’t know what to do
She told me of her plans to take some of her fellow fliers back to Cybertron, to see if there was a way to salvage…..anything. I told her not to. It was not safe for her, but she knew.
When she makes me sad
She told me in another life, if things were different…..we’d be so much more than two soldiers who were supposed to hate one another.
But I won’t let this build up inside of me.
I held her close, for what was possibly the last time. And because I couldn’t speak, all I could do was move my mouth.
“Are you saying good-bye to me?”
I nodded.
“And not, ‘get out of here’?”
My spark burned. How was it possible to hurt this much?
A catch in my throat
Yes. Yes, I told her.
Choke
She pulled away.
Torn into pieces
Don’t leave, I cried out, but we both knew it was useless. Her face twisted and she turned away.
I won’t!
“Goodbye, little Bumblebee.”
No!
And then she was gone.
I don’t want to feel this
And every time I think of her, and see her flying away, and look up at the stars and imagine our life on a peaceful Cybertron that will never exist, I scream. And scream. And I’m aware no one will hear, but that’s slag.
But I won’t let this build up inside of me
I impatiently await the day Cybertron hears my screams.
I won’t let this build up inside of me.