In which there is talking...

[ante_luce]

*The drive to his tree is quiet. Jazz is not sure what to say to the mech following him, and so he remains silent. The road there is easy, so there's no real need for directions as long as Prowl stays close

Comments

[wicked3659]

*can't help but be in awe at the beautiful tree. Strong, and as old as the ground seems around them*

It's beautiful. *replies softly before following Jazz up into the canopy. The tall tree provides a spectacular view of the landscape through the thick branches amass with leaves. He balances perfectly and sits down crosslegged on one of the branches, his visor slightly dim with sadness as he has already predicted how this is going to end*

[ante_luce]

*Jazz perches himself across from Prowl with a sigh. The other mech looks sad, and while Jazz doesn't want to do this either, he knows it will eat at him until he does. Softly, he attempts to start the conversation.*

So...

*He trails off, at a loss for words.*

[wicked3659]

*fixes his bland stoic expression onto his face. He had no choice but to be honest he owes that much to Jazz at the very least*

So...

*takes a deep intake and dims his visor for a moment.*

There's something, I need... or rather I should probably tell you, in light of recent developments *doesn't know how else to describe the gradual change between Jazz and himself*

I want to be completely honest with you before anything... *peers up at Jazz his voice soft* you deserve to know...

[ante_luce]

*He wants to cross over to Prowl's branch, to be close to the darker ninja and hold him like Prowl is about to disappear, because his processor is running down all sorts of unpleasant paths and Jazz finds himself irrationally afraid that he's about to lose Prowl again.*

*That Prowl admits that their relationship is different now (truth be told it'd started being different for Jazz back home well before Prowl's sacrifice) is encouraging, but the Elite Guardsmech can't help the curl of dread working its way into his spark.*

What do I deserve to know? *He keeps his voice steady, even if it is hushed.*

[wicked3659]

It happened after we fought, when I thought you hated me. I had no intention of it happening. I just... *bows his head struggling with the words that feel like they're tearing a hole in his spark*

I needed to talk to someone who saw me for who I am and not what I was. He was willing to listen... *the words start tumbling out in fear that if he stops now he'll never start again*

He was only trying to help me and I know he meant well, and I don't regret that it happened, I regret that I let my anger and despair get the better of me. *sighs* I let myself get carried away....

*realises he's stalling and his intakes seem to stop as he whispers* I interfaced with... Lockdown... *head remains bowed visor dim* I feel... I don't know what I feel but it's there and I don't know what this means I...

*lets out a shaky sigh*

I'm sorry...

[ante_luce]

*He's moving before he realises it, and his arms are wrapping about the other mech, his intakes are working like he's just spent hours in the training deck and he can't do anything but hold onto Prowl or else he'll shatter into so many pieces.*

*It hurts, and even though Jazz expected something like this, knew it even, it still hurts. And the only thing he can make himself say is,*

I see.

[wicked3659]

*not expecting such a response Prowl can almost feel his resolve crumbling. Unable to move or even online his optics he lets Jazz hold him, hoping against hope that he doesn't let go*

I'm sorry Jazz, I'm so sorry... I didn't want this... I never wanted to hurt you... I didn't mean for things to get so out of hand... *his hands grip Jazz's waist tightly as he continues to hold him his voice trembling too much for him to continue speaking, his intakes racing in anxious panic as he waits for Jazz's true reaction, the one he feels he deserves*

[ante_luce]

*He knows that Prowl is hurting too, and while part of him, sharp and furious and howling, is cruelly pleased with this, Jazz slams the door on that thought so hard his audios ring. Or that might just be his CPU struggling to cope with all his conflicting emotions.*

*That it was Lockdown of all mechs... He has to know. Softly, he whispers to the other ninja.*

What am I to you? What you said in the med bay earlier and the night before... Were you just trying to let me down easy?

[wicked3659]

*snaps his head up to meet Jazz's earnest gaze with intense optics

[ante_luce]

*Jazz is silent for a moment, leaning his helm against Prowl's, visor going dim

[wicked3659]

*finds himself barely able to intake air at Jazz's words, he knows that he's right and it's more than he probably deserves*

*manages a small nod and his spark shreds into a thousand pieces when Jazz tells him he needs to think, it's all he can do not to curl in on himself and fade away with it. His voice is hoarse, forced with the only two words he can say with all that's left of his spark*

I understand...

[ante_luce]

*Letting go of Prowl might be the hardest thing he's ever had to do so far, but Jazz forces himself to. His hands find the sides of Prowl's helm and he tilts the mech's face up to press the lightest of kisses to a golden chevron, wondering if the gesture is a promise or a farewell.*

*He can't say anything. To open his mouth would result in his resolve breaking and asking Prowl to stay, the Pit with everything Jazz has just said.*

[wicked3659]

*can't bring himself to look up. His limbs feel heavy when he moves. With trembling hands he quickly lowers himself from the tree almost falling in the blind haze of spark break.*

*Lands heavily and transforms before speeding off without looking back speeding to somewhere, anywhere else but here. Here where his spark lay shattered in the beautiful white ninja's hands sat silently in the beautiful tree*