Um, h-hi?

[taccommand1]

*shuffles in* H-hi. Newbie here. My username is short for Tactical Command 1, the title bestowed upon me by my Halo 3 buddies (we have a Sunstreaker who goes charging in, and a Red Alert who twitches at every far-off branch, and a Jazz who insists on winning with style). My other title is Prowl, or Bluestreak, since I sit in the back and direct the fight, or else I camp in the back and snipe stuff.
Uh, yeah. Call me Tac.

This is my first bunny list, which I had started before I knew this community existed *blush* but it only really started to take off after I read a few posts here. I'm kind of not that big a fan of Perceptor *cowers* so he might not pop up all that much in my lists, but I love Red Alert, Mirage, Thundercracker, and Octane. Poor 'Tane is the most underwritten mech in existence. I think Astrotrain gets more fic than he does. Aww.

1. Dead Space crossover. For those of you who like being able to sleep, Dead Space is a futuristic survival horror game that was just released.

Drawn-out plot summary with a bazillion spoilers follows.

As engineer and ship specialist Isaac Clarke, you and your team, computer specialist Kendra Daniels and security officer Zach Hammonds, are to rendezvous with the USG Planet Cracker (a ship that literally cracks open planets to retrieve ore) Ishimura, which has gone mysteriously radio-dead. On the way, Isaac watches a video sent by his girlfriend, Nicole Brennan, Chief Medical Officer onboard the Ishimura.

Once there, however, they find that the ship has in fact been overrun with extremely hostile aliens that spread through dead bodies, the Necromorphs. And if they don’t have any, they’ll make their own. Basically, the Flood from Halo, in a horror game. In their first appearance, in a darkened waiting room, a spinning alarm light shows flashes as they kill the pilots and security detail of Isaac’s ship, the Kellion, by impaling them on their arm blades.

Kendra and Zach escape to secure locations, and Isaac, who drew the short stick, is given the responsibility of performing all the repairs necessary to the Ishimura, as the Kellion exploded shortly after you arrived. Isaac’s armor is an engineering suit, which is progressively upgraded. Isaac’s weapons are, in fact, mining tools, such as a plasma cutter, an ore cutter (or line gun), a Graviton accelerator (or force gun), a hydrogen torch (AKA flamethrower), a ripper (shoots spinning radial saw blades), and one actual gun, yoinked from the military ship.

Over time, Kendra admits to Isaac that she is growingly suspicious of Zach’s behavior. Things are complicated when the military ship Valor arrives, only to be overrun by the Necromorphs.

Through the course of the game, Isaac finds Nicole, but she runs away from him. Zach is killed by a Brute. Isaac also meets an unnamed nurse who has gone insane, and is twice seen hacking at a dead body and laughing hysterically; Dr. Challus Mercer, a Unitologist (the game’s controversial cult-like religion) who actually helps the Necromorphs; and Dr. Kyne, one of the last few sane survivors. Dr. Kyne explains that all the trouble revolves around the Marker, an artifact that Unitologists claim validates their beliefs. Isaac agrees to get the ship’s shuttle working, so they can return the Marker to its original location.

Things are complicated when Kendra Daniels betrays Isaac, kills Dr. Kyne, and tries to take the Marker. Isaac still manages to outwit her and replace the Marker. However, Kendra comes out of nowhere and starts to move it. She taunts you by telling you Nicole was dead all along, as she injected herself with poison at the end of the first video - Isaac has been hallucinating the whole time. Turns out, the Marker isn’t a religious artifact. It was reverse-engineered by the government from a genuine alien artifact, but the government screwed up and corrupted the markings. The original Marker halted tissue necrosis, essentially granting eternal life, but the government’s copy became instructions for recombinant DNA that could infect necrotic flesh. The government decided to eject it into space. The Marker hit the planet containing the Hive Mind, a giant alien, which was infected by the Marker and turned into a Necromorph. When the Marker was removed, the Hive Mind got pissed off. Before Kendra can escape, the Hive Mind squishes her, and Isaac has to kill the Hive Mind, which kills all the Necromorphs.

The game ends with Isaac alone and heartbroken in shuttle in dead space. As he charts a course back to civilization, he spots a Necromorph that looks like Nicole, and it attacks him. As all Necromorphs should have died, Isaac is probably hallucinating. Again.

Isaac = Wheeljack. Nicole = Ratchet. Zach = Red Alert (poor Red). Kendra = Perceptor or Starscream. Unnamed crazy nurse = First Aid. Dr. Mercer = Sunstorm Dr. Kyne = Skyfire. Hive Mind = Unicron.

Poor Unicron. Just minding its own business…and then these random puny humans come along and crack it open, then kill its children, then kill it. Aww.

1. On that note, low-budget Transformers horror movie. Bonus points if it’s so cheesy that it’s good. Bonus bonus points if the author can rip off various horror movies. I will give the internet to any author that can cram over twenty villains, monsters, and aliens into the plot, even if it’s just cameos.

1. AU, or else copious OCs. An Autobot/Decepticon ship crashes on a world where guns do not exist. The inhabitants, biotechnological beings (metal integrated with organics) around the same scale as your average car ‘former, have all sorts of awesome technology, but their main weapons are blades. This is because of the planet’s proximity to its sun. The high heat makes gunpowder extremely unstable - as one unlucky ‘bot/‘con (possibly a generic footsoldier) discovers. They must learn to use blades and martial arts if they want to recover their ship, which has been confiscated by the totalitarian ruling government.

1. Optimus Prime is murdered - and not by who you’d expect.

1. Out flew the web, and floated wide

The mirror crack’d from side to side

“The doom is come upon me,” cried

The Lady of Shalott.

6. Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky!

When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

Then the traveler in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.

In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye,
Till the sun is in the sky.

As your bright and tiny spark,
Lights the traveler in the dark,-
Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

Note: Actually, I was thinking of the Dead Space trailer when I put this down. Go to youtube, search Dead Space, click the one with the sepia-toned picture, and get ready to never sleep again. Warnings for lots of blood and gore and Isaac dying.

1. What are the colors of the Transformers’ auras?

1. Skids is such an amazing theoretician, he has theorized that his very existence is theoretical. How about some screentime for the most neglected ‘bot on the Ark?

1. 2007verse. Halo crossover. A few ‘bots, or ‘cons, got way off course, and ended up on one of the Halos. Eager to escape these fanatical aliens, the ‘bots scan various Covenant and Earth vehicles, and end up joining with the UNSC. How would the war against the Flood be different when giant robots are added to the mix? Would the Flood affect Transformers? Also, how would the presence of another Earth, with other humans, be explained?

1. Wheeljack, captured by the enemy, MacGyvers a wide variety of tools and explosives in order to escape, and manages to utterly destroy half the Decepticon base in the process. Inspired by a conversation in which I said, “Because only Wheeljack could make a rubber chicken (leftover from Skywarp’s pranks, perhaps?) explode.”

1. There are a dozen theories as to how ‘bots interface - to spare tender eyes, I won’t list them here. What if, instead of being mutually exclusive, the method is up to the individual ‘bot’s preference? I could see some ‘bots shunning or teasing those who use a less ‘socially acceptable’ method.

1. Do Cybertronians have ice cream parlors/candy shops/restaurants/etc?

1. Cassette Whisperer.

1. A Saturday Night Live skit, featuring the poor, abused Weapon of the Week.

1. So, basically, Prime is a supreme leader, right? He can accept input from others, but in the end, it’s his call. How would the Autobots react to American government, which is basically one giant forum where different special interests malign each other’s logic, sanity, and character?

???: What does Monica Lewinsky have to do with anything? And what’s with that picture of Dukakis in a tank? I mean, it’s not a Decepticon tank, is it?

1. “What the…did Huffer just skip by?”

“Backwards, even.”

1. Mirage gets stuck half invisible, and all grouchy.

1. Hound’s hologram projector breaks, and he ends up with an image of Barney, or Mickey Mouse, or some freakish hybrid, superimposed over him.

1. Mirage has a perfect opportunity to shoot a turbofox - and lets it go. Hound asks why.

1. You know, I’m pretty sure Mirage would make a great prankster.

1. Did Mirage and Hound ever use their forcefields to interface in the middle of the rec room? (*brain goes splodey*)

1. Jazz is one very protective Mama Bear Spec Ops Agent, and he is definitely not pleased to hear the rumors floating about Mirage. Specifically, about Mirage’s relationship to Hound.

1. Mirage hates it, absolutely hates it, when mechs talk about how rich he was, and about how he doesn’t know what it’s like to be poor. Oh, he knew, all right - he was once the scum of the streets, just like everyone else, until he was nearly beaten to death in an alley. A strange mech rescued him, and later adopted him, taking him up to the Towers, and Mirage never looked back.

And now the mech who nearly killed him is here, on Earth.

1. Cliffjumper turns traitor.

1. The Autobot and Decepticon gestalt team leaders commiserate about annoying teammates.

Silverbolt: At least none of your team can use his baby seal eyes to manipulate the whole base.

Onslaught: At least none of your team has tried to throw you through a wall.

Hook: At least none of your team likes to mix acid into energon.

Hot Spot: At least none of your team goes around trash-talking every ‘bot he knows and a few he doesn’t, then plays victim when they thrash him.

Motormaster: At least your teams don’t have nervous breakdowns every episode.

1. When Red Alert decides to join the prank war in order to end it, once and for all, no ‘bot on the Ark is safe.

1. Why would Red Alert’s horns flash and spark blue when he’s upset? I mean, if he’s so afraid of being attacked, wouldn’t it be smarter for him to try to make himself a less obvious target?

1. My world begins and ends with you.

1. “It would have been better if he’d died.”

1. First Aid picks up a few habits from Ratchet. ‘Bots are beginning to get freaked out by the fact that they’ll be facing Ratchet, looking right at him, when they get hit with a wrench.

1. It was not love at first sight, for this was far from first sight. It was more that connections long forgotten and buried were slowly rising from the seas of their souls. He watched as memories unfolded before his optics, images bright and dark and distant, of lands long lost and times that may as well never have been.

1. “Looks like his brain finally caught up to his mouth.”

1. “Pain is good. Pain means I can still feel.”

1. Crossover with 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Seaspray meets Captain Nemo.

1. “I am going to save my people. If history will paint me a villain, a monster, then so be it.”

1. He wore a dozen different masks, each one with a different expression. Happiness, anger, sadness…all feigned. He couldn’t afford to show emotion - if he did, he feared, the loneliness and the frightening, overwhelming urge to end it all would swallow him whole. Once a week, however, it got to be too much for him, and he would find a quiet corner and let himself crack, for just a moment.

1. From a list of impossible questions: “In a person with multiple personality disorder, if one personality threatens to kill another, is it a hostage situation?”

Counterpunch threatens to kill Punch.

1. Skyfire has both claustrophobia and an intense fear of the cold. When he was stuck in the glacier, he woke up from time to time, though he was so out of it (due to the cold) that he could barely distinguish recharge from waking. His only refuge was in watching the Arctic life around him evolve.

1. 2007verse. Why is Simmons such a jerk?
   1. He’s autistic. He can barely process the irrational behavior of other humans, never mind the customs of giant alien robots.
   2. Megatron got partially unfrozen once, and he squished someone Simmons cared for.
   3. His parents emphasized toughness, so much so that they used to beat lessons into him. Could go with the stereotypical father = physical abuse, mother = emotional abuse.

Yeah. I kind of like Simmons. Jerkass characters often aren’t really that mean, or at least they have a good reason.

1. Red Alert is so paranoid because he, like Mirage, Skywarp, Soundwave, Thundercracker, and Hound, is psychic. He has a type of precognition, but due to the confused nature of his visions, which inconveniently do not include time or probability, constantly fears attack.

1. Thundercracker blows out Soundwave and Blaster’s audios with one of his sonic booms, and Soundwave is Not Happy. Oops.

1. Whenever Starscream’s ranting gets to be too much, Skywarp teleports his wingleader into a snowdrift, and Thundercracker lets off a sonic boom. I would make a corny joke staring with “Chill” and ending with “out”, but I’m too cool.

1. Starscream as a sparkling was bad enough, but now Soundwave finds himself dealing with three Seeklets. He’d never known that Thundercracker, of all mechs, had been worse than Skywarp when they were little. Rumble, on the other hand, is enjoying himself immensely.

1. Art. Normal Starscream, normal TC, red Skywarp. Because Starscream would be that egotistical.

1. Late at night, any awake mechs can hear the faint sound of music drifting from the control room - from classical to rock.

1. Soundwave and Blaster communicate through their requests to a radio station.

1. Smokescreen could write books, libraries of books, about the little problems and neuroses and quirks of the Transformers on the Ark. Let’s have a look at a few.

1. Smokescreen and Octane get together for a spot of cards. Sandstorm (IDW-verse Sandstorm) and Swindle want in.

1. Oddly enough, I like Sandstorm/Fireflight, though it’s one of the slightly more improbable pairings, but I always wonder how Octane feels. Poor ‘con gets left out all the time.

1. Octane is just a tanker. Not a jet, not a tank, not a train, not a shuttle. A tanker, with little protective armor around his fuel tank. He has nightmares about being blown up, nightmares of burning to death.

1. A spy that becomes so good at imitating others that he’s lost his own personality. The faces he shows to the world are really just amalgamations of other mechs’ personalities.

1. Wheeljack has found a new best friend: the Autobots’ best demolitions expert, capable of whipping up a Universe’s Fastest Short-Order Molotov Cocktail in 33 seconds, with only a basic chemistry kit.

1. He’d never expected that Starscream could sing like that.

1. What are the various Autobots’ favorite movies?

1. The most embarrassing nightmare ________ had ever had.

1. Newton’s 3rd Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Does this mean that if all the people in the world walk east at the same time, we can change the Earth’s rotation? Perceptor wants to test this theory.

1. It was a tiny smile. Weak. Lopsided. Barely there. But there.

1. It takes more courage to suffer than to die.

1. “?” he said.

1. “Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisement said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches.” - Good Omens

Teletraan-1 breaks.

1. “The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock, and like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.” - Wyrd Sisters

Shockwave, anyone?

1. “Any wizard bright enough to survive for five minutes was also bright enough to realize that if there was any power in demonology, then it lay with the demons. Using it for your own purposes would be like trying to beat mice to death with a rattlesnake.” - Eric

Megatron uses a weapon he doesn’t fully understand. With disastrous consequences for a) him b) the entire Decepticon force.

63. “The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.” - Eric

Battles before Prowl.

64. “It was the sort of thing you expected in the Street of Alchemists. The neighbors preferred explosions, which were at least identifiable and soon over. They were better than the smells, which crept up on you.” - Moving Pictures.

Just substitute ‘Wheeljack and Perceptor’s labs’ for ‘Street of Alchemists’, and ‘Autobots’ for ‘neighbors’, and you’re good.

65. “He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat.”- Reaper Man

One of the more peaceful Autobots has an unexpected violent side.

66. Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Unfortunately, no one told that to the ‘con on the receiving end of one of Mixmaster’s drinks.
And I ended up throwing Perceptor in anyways. *shrug*

I'm happy to be here :) maybe I can haz some moar brainspace for school. Um, uh, did I do the tags and cut and stuff right?