HELP! Hare bunnies
*Sigh*
I had hoped that by dropping off the list last month, I would be able to work on other pieces, and actually get something written.
Alas, it is not to be.
Take the joke with a grain of salt, please (answer at the end)
I. “Were you born in a junkyard?” (Not talking to a junkion)
II. Depending on whom you talk to, Triplechangers are either a myth, rare, or uncommon. Why are they so unknown? Triple-Changers are almost as unheard of, as, say a spark-bond between a Seeker and a non-flyer, or an Autobot and A Decepticon.
For the most part, they hide their unusual ability to change into two forms. Occasionally, everyone knows or suspects the identify of one.
Because there are so few living, no one knows where they come from. Well, everyone who isn’t a Triple-Changer from birth, anyway, and they want to keep it that way.
Natural (and sane) Triple Changers may be granted by the All-Spark or Vector Sigma, or created from a spark pair:
a. The union between a Grounder (car) and a Swimmer (ship).
b. Offspring of a Flyer (jet) and Land bound (truck).
c. Children who’s genitors are flyers (plane) and swimmer (boat).
Sparks created in this way want to be with both parents - in the water, on the ground, or in the air. Thus, they have two separate alt modes that may or may not be mobile: One for the land, one for high altitudes, and one that floats.
Now, the primary/first form MUST BE MOBILE - this is the original alt form, which is inherent with their frame design. The secondary form, which may or may not be deliberately built into the frame, is EITHER stationary, or mobile. (If it was planned for, it can move, if the spark had to modify the frame to change, they are immobile) More often that not, it is the ground alt mode that lacks the ability to move, and the mech either has to walk, or hitch a ride ALL THE TIME!
III. A mech (or cassette) has an unknown form - that of a juke box! - in addition to that of a car/jet/boat (or animal). This works out for him/her, since this particular individual enjoys music. His/her love of music and tunes may or may not be common knowledge. I was thinking Jazz or Soundwave - can be anyone, though.
IV. Mechs like Reflector, are in their own category - one large frame or three smaller bodies, and yet, he’s not a gestalt. His smaller components and their sparks behave more like Spark-Twins. So, how did Reflector come about? What caused ViewFinder, Spyglass, and Spectro.
In light of that, what about the 2009 Movie ‘Girls’? (I believe the motorcycles were Arcee, Chromia, and Elita, but not positive). Cartoon Fandom says the femmes are their own separate beings, but the movie-redo gives the impression that the three were once separate sparks and processors, but are now unable to live separate lives. So, if they could or combine like their similar G1 counterparts, would the ‘regular size’ build be Refractor?
V. Gestalts - Constructions and Protectobots each have a medic (and/or fabricator) in their team. What if that’s not simple coincidence? What if every combiner group/team of five or six, is supposed to have a mech with more than just basic battlefield medical knowledge? In fandom, Swoop is the Dinobot medical trainee, which leaves the Arialbots, the Combatons, the Stunticons, and the other combiners, gestalts, without an official medic. So which one of the groups is the medic or medic in training?
a. [taking this one step farther] If every Gestalt does have a medic, then (assuming every medic was once a part of a gestalt), where are the others? Ratchet’s group? Wheeljack’s team? Hoist and Grapple’s combiners? Thanks to CmdrTekk’s “Last and Alone” fic, we know what happened to Perceptor’s old team. Would a Trine be sufficient cause to call the group of three a gestalt?
b. A gestalt team that is ONLY medics. Could be cross fractions, using both Canon and fanon medic(s) and trainee(s), or those that are cross-trained. I.E. Ratchet, Perceptor, Wheeljack, Hoist, Grapple, Swoop, First Aid, Hook, KnockOut, Starscream, Etc. - Any combination, any faction.
HOW AND WHY DID THEY CHOOSE TO HIDE THIS INFORMATION FROM THEIR LEADERS?
VI. Punch/CounterPunch - Why is he special and unique? It’s not because he’s a -spy, and happens to have two different mech frames, or even the fact he’s got a duel-minded processor that talks to itself (though, they do help him stand out). No, (Counter)Punch is rare because he KNOWS that he is a spy for both sides - in the fact his two halves have talked to each other and are working together for his survival. (Counter)Punch is the only one who feels pulled in two directions by his conflicting identities. All the other spies have already chosen which side to support - in effect, every operative is actively working to harm one group, and help the other. Punch hasn’t chosen, and cannot choose while he is still mentally tormented. His identities and their roles were not planned, nor was he otherwise prepared before hand
a. (Counter)Punch was wounded during one of his missions, and to survive, his processor split a piece off, creating a similar identity that could do the job he was supposed to. However, this cleft in his processor hasn’t healed completely, and so, it takes over on occasion, leaving him aware, but unable to control his body, under specific instances.
b. Alternately, (Counter)Punch came to be when a battlefield medic had two critically injured patients. He didn’t have enough parts to save two sparks and two processors and keep them separate, but he did and could save them by putting them in the same body. Alas, the poor medic did not realize that the two badly injured and dying individuals were from opposite factions - every identifying mark had been destroyed, and since it appeared they were trying to protect the other from whatever blast put them into stasis, everyone assumed they were acquaintances
VII. ART OR FIC! The Dinobots land in the Land Before Time movie-series.
a. GRIMLOCK: ME Grimlock! NOT Sharptooth! (Stomps feet and roars) - the small group of unlikely friends could be hiding (Ducky and Spike) or running (LittleFoot), or attacking (Sara).
b. Swoop and Petrie are flying. Are they sharing techniques, or trying to outdo the other? Let the author/artist decide.
c. What about the others? LittleFoot, Sara, Ducky, Spike and Petrie? If you want, could include Chomper too. The reactions of Sludge, Slag, Snarl, Swoop, and Grimlock?
VIII. The Dinobots are FROM the Beast War era - instead of ‘making’ new mechs, the medics were actually rebuilding their bodies. Thing is, being in stasis since before the Ark was launched, has caused some obvious mental problems.
a. A combination of the processors, metals, and spark were found - the remaining had to be repaired, or patched up with newer equipment. The oldest and newest programs were not made to work together in such a way, which leaves some glitches and transmission errors that are still being worked on.
b. Living among the dinosaurs, there was no need to develop higher thinking skills, so their processors are underdeveloped.
IX. In the 1986 movie, Optimus Prime and his chief officers die on the shuttle. What if the only way to kill a Prime is to take out his hand-picked officers, such as the second-in-command, and bodyguards and other self-declared protectors?
OR, every time a new Prime is called, he (or she) needs to select new officers and specialists, because the old officers, advisors, bodyguards and others died protecting THEIR Prime.
X. The oldest mechs and femmes - like Kup, Beta, Alpha Trion - were there when Cybertron was transformed. They watched as a barren, lifeless world changed into something they could call home and a world they could thrive in. So, why haven’t they mentioned to the space faring explorers the possibility of turning dead planets into new homes? If humans consider ‘reshaping an inhospitable world into a livable world’ terraforming, [forming into earth] what would the Cybertron version be?
If Cybertrons are immortal, how come they haven’t figured out what to do with the local sun dying?
I presume that the oldest of them remember moving to the planet (or having the planet move through space), or having heard tales of how a moon-sized spaceship was settled and the population boom.
So why can’t they figure out how to deal with the current situation? Essentially, all Transformers are nomads - simply because they outlive everything alive, even stars
XI. Earth is undergoing changes turning it from an organic world to a mostly metal world - and the native humans have given the okay! How? By authorizing the building of Autobot City, and accepting the presence of a city mech named Metroplex. (Animated? Armada?)
XII. The war between Autobots and Decepticons? It’s happening, and it’s currently ongoing - but not for the reasons stated. No, the ‘lack of proper energon’ and loss of sufficient energy sources is the EXCUSE, but in reality, both sides are fighting over new worlds to settle. The only thing is, ideal worlds that would be perfect to transform, are already inhabited by others - like humans. (Why else would they completely obliterate their own cities, but do minimal damage to the local organic buildings?)
XIII. Mechs that argue with or fight each other on a semi-constant basis are actually brothers. Everyone knows about Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, but what about the unknown siblings? (e.g. Brawn and Preceptor, or Wheeljack and Ratchet). Can be twins or simple bros.
XIV. Wreckers have code names to protect the innocent: and for added security - since Part-Time or Seasonal or Temporary Wreckers have other important and necessary functions in the Autobot army.
a. Wheeljack’s Wrecker Designation is ‘Que’.
b. Mirage’s Wrecker Designation is ‘Dion’.
c. What would be a proper Wrecker Name for the rest of the G1 crew? How do they get their names?
i. DeadBolt - would be for which Ark member not yet seen in the Bay films?
ii. Helm Banger/Helm Basher is the ‘secret’ identity of which mech (or femme)?
XV. In the far off future, Mechs that have no knowledge of humans, stumble across some of our inventions. They debate the use of such items and come to wrong conclusion as to the use of the devices. For Example(s):
a. ‘Tanning Salons’ are thought to be used as punishment for noncompliance or slandering the ruling caste.
b. Our High Definition and Surround Sound Entertainment Systems are torture instruments (either that, or processor reformatting devices)
c. The infrastructure of large cities (New York City, Chicago, Detroit, Houston, Los Angeles, Sacrament, Miami just to name a few), were built in the maze-like pattern to test speed, learning ability, memory - the first one to the center and back out gets the energon goodie. But where’s the energon treat?
Similarly, other large cities (Paris, London, Boston, Minneapolis, for example) are 'training facilities' and also have a reward for successful completion - again, the energon dispenser seems to have malfunctioned.
d. Our meat processing facilitates, were designed as execution chambers - and the killings of (suspected and confirmed) rebels were broadcast at random intervals to the public.
XVI. Crossover: Lara Croft, Tomb Raider versus any Transformer. She’d kick ass, and the ‘bad guy’ (or misunderstood ‘good guy’) would need a medic to repair the damage - if he survived or managed to get away.
He was tired of all the Red armored/skinned/emotion, Red Neck jokes.
I know, I know.
Bad Joke, (and in poor taste), but *shrug*
I had hoped that by dropping off the list last month, I would be able to work on other pieces, and actually get something written.
Alas, it is not to be.
Take the joke with a grain of salt, please (answer at the end)
I. “Were you born in a junkyard?” (Not talking to a junkion)
II. Depending on whom you talk to, Triplechangers are either a myth, rare, or uncommon. Why are they so unknown? Triple-Changers are almost as unheard of, as, say a spark-bond between a Seeker and a non-flyer, or an Autobot and A Decepticon.
For the most part, they hide their unusual ability to change into two forms. Occasionally, everyone knows or suspects the identify of one.
Because there are so few living, no one knows where they come from. Well, everyone who isn’t a Triple-Changer from birth, anyway, and they want to keep it that way.
Natural (and sane) Triple Changers may be granted by the All-Spark or Vector Sigma, or created from a spark pair:
a. The union between a Grounder (car) and a Swimmer (ship).
b. Offspring of a Flyer (jet) and Land bound (truck).
c. Children who’s genitors are flyers (plane) and swimmer (boat).
Sparks created in this way want to be with both parents - in the water, on the ground, or in the air. Thus, they have two separate alt modes that may or may not be mobile: One for the land, one for high altitudes, and one that floats.
Now, the primary/first form MUST BE MOBILE - this is the original alt form, which is inherent with their frame design. The secondary form, which may or may not be deliberately built into the frame, is EITHER stationary, or mobile. (If it was planned for, it can move, if the spark had to modify the frame to change, they are immobile) More often that not, it is the ground alt mode that lacks the ability to move, and the mech either has to walk, or hitch a ride ALL THE TIME!
III. A mech (or cassette) has an unknown form - that of a juke box! - in addition to that of a car/jet/boat (or animal). This works out for him/her, since this particular individual enjoys music. His/her love of music and tunes may or may not be common knowledge. I was thinking Jazz or Soundwave - can be anyone, though.
IV. Mechs like Reflector, are in their own category - one large frame or three smaller bodies, and yet, he’s not a gestalt. His smaller components and their sparks behave more like Spark-Twins. So, how did Reflector come about? What caused ViewFinder, Spyglass, and Spectro.
In light of that, what about the 2009 Movie ‘Girls’? (I believe the motorcycles were Arcee, Chromia, and Elita, but not positive). Cartoon Fandom says the femmes are their own separate beings, but the movie-redo gives the impression that the three were once separate sparks and processors, but are now unable to live separate lives. So, if they could or combine like their similar G1 counterparts, would the ‘regular size’ build be Refractor?
V. Gestalts - Constructions and Protectobots each have a medic (and/or fabricator) in their team. What if that’s not simple coincidence? What if every combiner group/team of five or six, is supposed to have a mech with more than just basic battlefield medical knowledge? In fandom, Swoop is the Dinobot medical trainee, which leaves the Arialbots, the Combatons, the Stunticons, and the other combiners, gestalts, without an official medic. So which one of the groups is the medic or medic in training?
a. [taking this one step farther] If every Gestalt does have a medic, then (assuming every medic was once a part of a gestalt), where are the others? Ratchet’s group? Wheeljack’s team? Hoist and Grapple’s combiners? Thanks to CmdrTekk’s “Last and Alone” fic, we know what happened to Perceptor’s old team. Would a Trine be sufficient cause to call the group of three a gestalt?
b. A gestalt team that is ONLY medics. Could be cross fractions, using both Canon and fanon medic(s) and trainee(s), or those that are cross-trained. I.E. Ratchet, Perceptor, Wheeljack, Hoist, Grapple, Swoop, First Aid, Hook, KnockOut, Starscream, Etc. - Any combination, any faction.
HOW AND WHY DID THEY CHOOSE TO HIDE THIS INFORMATION FROM THEIR LEADERS?
VI. Punch/CounterPunch - Why is he special and unique? It’s not because he’s a -spy, and happens to have two different mech frames, or even the fact he’s got a duel-minded processor that talks to itself (though, they do help him stand out). No, (Counter)Punch is rare because he KNOWS that he is a spy for both sides - in the fact his two halves have talked to each other and are working together for his survival. (Counter)Punch is the only one who feels pulled in two directions by his conflicting identities. All the other spies have already chosen which side to support - in effect, every operative is actively working to harm one group, and help the other. Punch hasn’t chosen, and cannot choose while he is still mentally tormented. His identities and their roles were not planned, nor was he otherwise prepared before hand
a. (Counter)Punch was wounded during one of his missions, and to survive, his processor split a piece off, creating a similar identity that could do the job he was supposed to. However, this cleft in his processor hasn’t healed completely, and so, it takes over on occasion, leaving him aware, but unable to control his body, under specific instances.
b. Alternately, (Counter)Punch came to be when a battlefield medic had two critically injured patients. He didn’t have enough parts to save two sparks and two processors and keep them separate, but he did and could save them by putting them in the same body. Alas, the poor medic did not realize that the two badly injured and dying individuals were from opposite factions - every identifying mark had been destroyed, and since it appeared they were trying to protect the other from whatever blast put them into stasis, everyone assumed they were acquaintances
VII. ART OR FIC! The Dinobots land in the Land Before Time movie-series.
a. GRIMLOCK: ME Grimlock! NOT Sharptooth! (Stomps feet and roars) - the small group of unlikely friends could be hiding (Ducky and Spike) or running (LittleFoot), or attacking (Sara).
b. Swoop and Petrie are flying. Are they sharing techniques, or trying to outdo the other? Let the author/artist decide.
c. What about the others? LittleFoot, Sara, Ducky, Spike and Petrie? If you want, could include Chomper too. The reactions of Sludge, Slag, Snarl, Swoop, and Grimlock?
VIII. The Dinobots are FROM the Beast War era - instead of ‘making’ new mechs, the medics were actually rebuilding their bodies. Thing is, being in stasis since before the Ark was launched, has caused some obvious mental problems.
a. A combination of the processors, metals, and spark were found - the remaining had to be repaired, or patched up with newer equipment. The oldest and newest programs were not made to work together in such a way, which leaves some glitches and transmission errors that are still being worked on.
b. Living among the dinosaurs, there was no need to develop higher thinking skills, so their processors are underdeveloped.
IX. In the 1986 movie, Optimus Prime and his chief officers die on the shuttle. What if the only way to kill a Prime is to take out his hand-picked officers, such as the second-in-command, and bodyguards and other self-declared protectors?
OR, every time a new Prime is called, he (or she) needs to select new officers and specialists, because the old officers, advisors, bodyguards and others died protecting THEIR Prime.
X. The oldest mechs and femmes - like Kup, Beta, Alpha Trion - were there when Cybertron was transformed. They watched as a barren, lifeless world changed into something they could call home and a world they could thrive in. So, why haven’t they mentioned to the space faring explorers the possibility of turning dead planets into new homes? If humans consider ‘reshaping an inhospitable world into a livable world’ terraforming, [forming into earth] what would the Cybertron version be?
If Cybertrons are immortal, how come they haven’t figured out what to do with the local sun dying?
I presume that the oldest of them remember moving to the planet (or having the planet move through space), or having heard tales of how a moon-sized spaceship was settled and the population boom.
So why can’t they figure out how to deal with the current situation? Essentially, all Transformers are nomads - simply because they outlive everything alive, even stars
XI. Earth is undergoing changes turning it from an organic world to a mostly metal world - and the native humans have given the okay! How? By authorizing the building of Autobot City, and accepting the presence of a city mech named Metroplex. (Animated? Armada?)
XII. The war between Autobots and Decepticons? It’s happening, and it’s currently ongoing - but not for the reasons stated. No, the ‘lack of proper energon’ and loss of sufficient energy sources is the EXCUSE, but in reality, both sides are fighting over new worlds to settle. The only thing is, ideal worlds that would be perfect to transform, are already inhabited by others - like humans. (Why else would they completely obliterate their own cities, but do minimal damage to the local organic buildings?)
XIII. Mechs that argue with or fight each other on a semi-constant basis are actually brothers. Everyone knows about Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, but what about the unknown siblings? (e.g. Brawn and Preceptor, or Wheeljack and Ratchet). Can be twins or simple bros.
XIV. Wreckers have code names to protect the innocent: and for added security - since Part-Time or Seasonal or Temporary Wreckers have other important and necessary functions in the Autobot army.
a. Wheeljack’s Wrecker Designation is ‘Que’.
b. Mirage’s Wrecker Designation is ‘Dion’.
c. What would be a proper Wrecker Name for the rest of the G1 crew? How do they get their names?
i. DeadBolt - would be for which Ark member not yet seen in the Bay films?
ii. Helm Banger/Helm Basher is the ‘secret’ identity of which mech (or femme)?
XV. In the far off future, Mechs that have no knowledge of humans, stumble across some of our inventions. They debate the use of such items and come to wrong conclusion as to the use of the devices. For Example(s):
a. ‘Tanning Salons’ are thought to be used as punishment for noncompliance or slandering the ruling caste.
b. Our High Definition and Surround Sound Entertainment Systems are torture instruments (either that, or processor reformatting devices)
c. The infrastructure of large cities (New York City, Chicago, Detroit, Houston, Los Angeles, Sacrament, Miami just to name a few), were built in the maze-like pattern to test speed, learning ability, memory - the first one to the center and back out gets the energon goodie. But where’s the energon treat?
Similarly, other large cities (Paris, London, Boston, Minneapolis, for example) are 'training facilities' and also have a reward for successful completion - again, the energon dispenser seems to have malfunctioned.
d. Our meat processing facilitates, were designed as execution chambers - and the killings of (suspected and confirmed) rebels were broadcast at random intervals to the public.
XVI. Crossover: Lara Croft, Tomb Raider versus any Transformer. She’d kick ass, and the ‘bad guy’ (or misunderstood ‘good guy’) would need a medic to repair the damage - if he survived or managed to get away.
He was tired of all the Red armored/skinned/emotion, Red Neck jokes.
I know, I know.
Bad Joke, (and in poor taste), but *shrug*