Next part of "Technical Difficulties" written for i-stalk-piccolo
Technical Difficulties.
Summary: Sam tries to send an image he found on the Internet to his friend, Miles. Unfortunately, Sam hits the wrong button and sends said image to everyone in his address book-including his Autobot friends.
Rating: M due to graphic description.
Disclaimer: Transformers belongs to Hasbro and DreamWorks/Paramount, not to me.
A/N This is a request for I_Stalk_Piccolo on the LJ community “TF2007fun”, in return for allowing me to use four screen caps to get a new, animated icon made for me (See my icon). The bunny, of course, was also suggested by her.
Technical Difficulties
A/N if Jazz seems OOC in his Email I apologise, but I think Jazz’s E-speak would be either correct, or full of that weird netspeak, which I can’t write or understand.
Sam, after briefly explaining the picture to the incredulous ’Bee, refreshed his inbox.‘Crap. Oh crap!
Miles: Sam, man, you are just gross!
Mikaela: Yuck, Sam, that’s revolting…but I ha…
Sunny: I owe you a thank-you..and I’ll be co..
Sides: You have just given me a GREAT ide..
Optimus: RE: Picture-why did you send this to..
Ratchet: Would you care to explain the releva…
Ironhide: Do not send any further such images.
Jazz: ROFL Sam, this is still funny, and Pro..
Sam groaned, clicking open Mikaela’s message. ‘I am dumped, I bet I am so dumped!’ He thought to himself. He settled himself and looked at the response.‘Yuck, Sam, that’s revolting…but I have to admit that that is also funny in a gross way. Tell you what, send it to this address, and if you don’t I will because he SO deserves this! Love you, give Bee a kiss for me, Mikaela xx’
The email address she had provided was obviously Trent’s, but that was the least thing on Sam’s mind. He hadn’t been dumped, and that made him feel better. Mikaela’s reaction was not what Sam had expected, and he reflected that his comment “There’s more than meets the eye with you” was truer than he could have known at the time.
Which was all very well, but he still had six Autobot messages to respond to. He chose the coward’s way out, opening Jazz’s next.‘ROFL Sam, this is still funny, and Prowl is now asking some very awkward questions. Mind if I send him your way sometime?, but I want to be there to see his face when you explain exactly what that picture is to him. See ya, the Jazzman.’
‘Great!’ Thought Sam sarcastically, imaging trying to explain the picture, and the Goatse website to the ultra-logical tactician, Prowl. He decided to deal with that when he got to it, and swallowed. Time to face the music. He clicked on Optimus’ response.
‘Why did you send this picture to me Sam? It was quite disturbing viewing. If you could explain the purpose of the picture, and why you felt the necessity to send it to me, I would appreciate it. Yours, Optimus.’
Sam briefly composed a reply. ‘Sorry, Optimus, technical difficulties, I meant to send it to one person and sent it to everyone by mistake. Sorry. Sam.’Next, Sam figured he’d best deal with Ratchet’s message. This was the one he was dreading, for he knew the usually cool and calm Autobot medic could be quite irascible if he thought his time was being wasted, or his willingness to help was being taken advantage of. He clicked it open.
Ratchet’s message was not as bad as Sam feared it would be, but was to the point.‘Would you care to explain the relevance of the image you just sent? Were you trying to demonstrate the flexibility of the human rectum, were you wanting to ask a question, or is this a human-style prank? Whichever it is, if you wish to send me similarly unusual/unconservative pictures, please tag them as such so that next time I open one, I am NOT in the middle of surgery, and my startled reaction does NOT make the injury worse than it was when I started! That way, I do not need to worry about what you humans would call ’questions about my professional competence!’ Such niceties would be appreciated. Ratchet, Autobot medic.’
‘Oops!’ thought Sam. He composed a message, similar to that which he had sent to Optimus, with an added request to pass his apology on to whichever unfortunate mech had been under Ratchet’s scalpel at the time. Then he decided to check what Ironhide had to say. It was even shorter.He thought, as he surveyed the slew of responses to his email. He read down the list of names and subjects.
‘Do not send any more such images. The Armoury roof now needs repairing, If I want to view such things, I an quite capable of accessing your internet myself.’
The weapons specialist had not bothered signing it, but he couldn’t be that badly torqued, figured Sam, or he might have made a threat to ‘borrow’ Sam for target practice, which although it would never be carried out, would have expressed the depths of Ironhide’s anger.
Before Sam could open any more E-mails, he heard the sound of an unknown horn blast outside. He looked outside, to see two Lamborghinis, one red, one yellow, and both unnaturally shiny, blocking up the road.
Sam went out, to where the two cars were waiting.
“Sunny, Sides, what are you doing here?” he asked.
“I sent you an E-mail saying I was coming to pick you up.” said Sunstreaker.
“ I didn’t get to open and respond to all my Emails.” Sam said.
“We managed to argue Bumblebee into going with us and taking you to see the great idea we’ve had to do to Starscream.” Sideswipe said.
“I told them it was too dangerous.” said Bumblebee.
“I told him it would be three of us to defend one little human.” said Sideswipe. “Then I told him that it was surely up to you.” Sideswipe then proceeded to tell Sam what they had in mind.
Sam leaned against, Sideswipe’s side, doubled over with laughter.
“This I have got to see!” he said, wiping his eyes. “You two are evil!”
“We know.” said Sunstreaker slyly.
“Come on, Bumblebee, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” said Sam.
Bumblebee opened his door, and, still laughing, got in.