Fic: Dirty Jobs
TITLE: Dirty Jobs
AUTHOR: artoni
SETTING: TransFormers (2007/2009 movieverse)
RATING: E for Everyone
SUMMARY: With the Cybertronians' cover blown thanks to The Fallen, everyone wants to do an exclusive on Team Autobot NEST. Only one channel already has an 'in', thanks to a devoted fanbase, but they still need to make friends before they'll be allowed to roll camera.
NOTES: Giftfic for raisedbymoogles for cheering me up when I was feeling down a few days ago. Some suspension of belief required - sillyfic is mostly silly. Especially since the specific order was as follows;
"The plague of "Boom De Yada" sweeping through NEST, the Autobots experiencing the wonder of earworms, and how It All Went Horribly Wrong. ...Bonus points for Mike Rowe, ahem."
"Well, it's not the dirtiest job I've been on, but I have to say it's one of the most memorable so far."
It was a rather accurate estimation. William Lennox couldn't hold back a chuckle at it, and the sight of someone he'd only seen on TV perched on the shoulder of one yellow Autobot scout, who'd been rather insistant at taking advantage of the opportunity to meet the personality.
And Will had to admit, it was somewhat heartening to see him as willing as one of the base mechanics to get his hands dirty. Sure, it might have been in the name of establishing a relationship - that was what this whole day was about, the Autobots were apparently fans of the station and were insistant on giving them a chance when the contact was made, cover-ups be damned - but with Mikaela at Bumblebee's feet calling out instructions and Sam practically trying to climb up to help or at least get a better look at Mike himself...
...well, it made for an entertaining scene. They were due for a few of those. No doubt a few more were going on around the location (one of the conditions for this 'meet and greet' was that it most decidedly would not be held at Diego Garcia), but, well, the other soldiers had it in hand.
Even if they were humming the same tune over and over. One passed them singing it aloud, and Mike shook his head. "Trust me," he informed Will, "he's not going to be getting it out of his head anytime soon. You should have seen the set when we were filming."
"-boom de ah dah, boom de ah dah-"
"Bee," Sam said, utterly serious, "I swear to God, if you keep me up with that like the time you found 'All Your Base'-"
"-we'll paint you hot pink," Mikaela finished for him. Bumblebee's optics brightened in surprise, and he drooped, making a 'whrr' of disappointment. Of course, the motion had Mike grabbing on for dear life - though as his hands were currently within the armor, what he grabbed had Bumblebee immediately emitting a far different noise.
"Sonofa-!"
Only reflexes - no doubt come more from being around Sam than combat itself - kept Bee from ending a TV show and causing the mourning of countless fans; he reached up to grab at Mike, who had already pulled his hands out. But there was something in his hands that made William reach for a weapon that wasn't there; something the size of a snake, and distinctly metal. And, by the way Mike was trying to keep a hold of it, something very much alive.
A shift from Bumblebee had him falling - with a rather undignified shout - onto his hand, where Sam and Mikaela were already running, to say nothing of Will there to help him wrestle the thing. But it was Ratchet appearing out of seemingly nowhere to neatly pluck it out of their hands to end the shouting and scuffling, and to turn all heads in his direction as he peered at the offending creature with a critical optic before looking back down.
"My apologies, Mister Rowe. I take it Bumblebee did not inform you that he had a parasite." By the icy tone of Ratchet's voice, it was clear that he hadn't been informed, either. Bumblebee drooped again, and Will was reminded of nothing more than a puppy that had made a mess on the floor.
"Sorry...but I didn't know until this day-"
"-it just kept going-"
His apologies were cut off by Sam patting his armor. "Look, it was an accident, okay? Right? Is that why you've been scratching so much?" he added in a somewhat lower voice, prompting a mute nod from Bee and another 'whrr'.
"Well, next time, a little warning would be nice." Mike shook his head, gratefully accepting Will's help to his feet. There was a smile on his face, though, suggesting that he wasn't so much annoyed as amused (and, no doubt, relieved that the problem had literally been taken out of his hands). "You'll want Bear or Les next time you've got something that can bite."
"You sure you're all right?" Will asked him, looking him over. Other than his arms being covered in grease past his elbows, he looked alright, and Mike nodded in confirmation.
"Been through worse. I'm guessing you don't watch the show a lot."
"We're usually busy with other things," the soldier admitted, noticing someone else approaching. He gave Mike a pat on the shoulder before turning to face Epps, who was looking over the scene with a frown.
"Everything alright over here?"
"For the most part, yeah. Something wrong?"
Epps nodded, expression growing grave. "We've got a problem."
When Robert Epps said there was a problem, usually, he wasn't joking. Immediately alert, Will searched his expression for any clues. "What kind?" he asked, mind drifting to found cameras, cameraphones, or even another station catching wind of this and trying to but in...but Epp's face was dark for another reason.
"Ironhide's met the Mythbusters."
"The who?"
"Is he the big black one with the cannons?" Mike called out, wiping his brow and leaving a grease smudge in wake. Not that he really seemed to mind.
Will glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah, that's him."
"You should probably get going, then."
"Why?"
"Because Adam and Jamie get better ratings the bigger the explosions they make, and he looked kind of eager to show off his cannons."
Realization hit Lennox like Optimus Prime's fist. Swearing aloud, he ran after the already leading Epps, Bumblebee already following after them with the others close behind.
The group reached the site just in time to hear a familiar voice shouting a far too familiar line - only instead of the friendly song that had been sweeping through the soldiers, it was a battlecry, echoed by two men who looked far too excited for their own good.
"BOOM DE AH DAH!"
AUTHOR: artoni
SETTING: TransFormers (2007/2009 movieverse)
RATING: E for Everyone
SUMMARY: With the Cybertronians' cover blown thanks to The Fallen, everyone wants to do an exclusive on Team Autobot NEST. Only one channel already has an 'in', thanks to a devoted fanbase, but they still need to make friends before they'll be allowed to roll camera.
NOTES: Giftfic for raisedbymoogles for cheering me up when I was feeling down a few days ago. Some suspension of belief required - sillyfic is mostly silly. Especially since the specific order was as follows;
"The plague of "Boom De Yada" sweeping through NEST, the Autobots experiencing the wonder of earworms, and how It All Went Horribly Wrong. ...Bonus points for Mike Rowe, ahem."
"Well, it's not the dirtiest job I've been on, but I have to say it's one of the most memorable so far."
It was a rather accurate estimation. William Lennox couldn't hold back a chuckle at it, and the sight of someone he'd only seen on TV perched on the shoulder of one yellow Autobot scout, who'd been rather insistant at taking advantage of the opportunity to meet the personality.
And Will had to admit, it was somewhat heartening to see him as willing as one of the base mechanics to get his hands dirty. Sure, it might have been in the name of establishing a relationship - that was what this whole day was about, the Autobots were apparently fans of the station and were insistant on giving them a chance when the contact was made, cover-ups be damned - but with Mikaela at Bumblebee's feet calling out instructions and Sam practically trying to climb up to help or at least get a better look at Mike himself...
...well, it made for an entertaining scene. They were due for a few of those. No doubt a few more were going on around the location (one of the conditions for this 'meet and greet' was that it most decidedly would not be held at Diego Garcia), but, well, the other soldiers had it in hand.
Even if they were humming the same tune over and over. One passed them singing it aloud, and Mike shook his head. "Trust me," he informed Will, "he's not going to be getting it out of his head anytime soon. You should have seen the set when we were filming."
"-boom de ah dah, boom de ah dah-"
"Bee," Sam said, utterly serious, "I swear to God, if you keep me up with that like the time you found 'All Your Base'-"
"-we'll paint you hot pink," Mikaela finished for him. Bumblebee's optics brightened in surprise, and he drooped, making a 'whrr' of disappointment. Of course, the motion had Mike grabbing on for dear life - though as his hands were currently within the armor, what he grabbed had Bumblebee immediately emitting a far different noise.
"Sonofa-!"
Only reflexes - no doubt come more from being around Sam than combat itself - kept Bee from ending a TV show and causing the mourning of countless fans; he reached up to grab at Mike, who had already pulled his hands out. But there was something in his hands that made William reach for a weapon that wasn't there; something the size of a snake, and distinctly metal. And, by the way Mike was trying to keep a hold of it, something very much alive.
A shift from Bumblebee had him falling - with a rather undignified shout - onto his hand, where Sam and Mikaela were already running, to say nothing of Will there to help him wrestle the thing. But it was Ratchet appearing out of seemingly nowhere to neatly pluck it out of their hands to end the shouting and scuffling, and to turn all heads in his direction as he peered at the offending creature with a critical optic before looking back down.
"My apologies, Mister Rowe. I take it Bumblebee did not inform you that he had a parasite." By the icy tone of Ratchet's voice, it was clear that he hadn't been informed, either. Bumblebee drooped again, and Will was reminded of nothing more than a puppy that had made a mess on the floor.
"Sorry...but I didn't know until this day-"
"-it just kept going-"
His apologies were cut off by Sam patting his armor. "Look, it was an accident, okay? Right? Is that why you've been scratching so much?" he added in a somewhat lower voice, prompting a mute nod from Bee and another 'whrr'.
"Well, next time, a little warning would be nice." Mike shook his head, gratefully accepting Will's help to his feet. There was a smile on his face, though, suggesting that he wasn't so much annoyed as amused (and, no doubt, relieved that the problem had literally been taken out of his hands). "You'll want Bear or Les next time you've got something that can bite."
"You sure you're all right?" Will asked him, looking him over. Other than his arms being covered in grease past his elbows, he looked alright, and Mike nodded in confirmation.
"Been through worse. I'm guessing you don't watch the show a lot."
"We're usually busy with other things," the soldier admitted, noticing someone else approaching. He gave Mike a pat on the shoulder before turning to face Epps, who was looking over the scene with a frown.
"Everything alright over here?"
"For the most part, yeah. Something wrong?"
Epps nodded, expression growing grave. "We've got a problem."
When Robert Epps said there was a problem, usually, he wasn't joking. Immediately alert, Will searched his expression for any clues. "What kind?" he asked, mind drifting to found cameras, cameraphones, or even another station catching wind of this and trying to but in...but Epp's face was dark for another reason.
"Ironhide's met the Mythbusters."
"The who?"
"Is he the big black one with the cannons?" Mike called out, wiping his brow and leaving a grease smudge in wake. Not that he really seemed to mind.
Will glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah, that's him."
"You should probably get going, then."
"Why?"
"Because Adam and Jamie get better ratings the bigger the explosions they make, and he looked kind of eager to show off his cannons."
Realization hit Lennox like Optimus Prime's fist. Swearing aloud, he ran after the already leading Epps, Bumblebee already following after them with the others close behind.
The group reached the site just in time to hear a familiar voice shouting a far too familiar line - only instead of the friendly song that had been sweeping through the soldiers, it was a battlecry, echoed by two men who looked far too excited for their own good.
"BOOM DE AH DAH!"