Re: 2. Age equals experience - Kup knows more about interfacing than the whole Autobot army put togeraisedbymooglesAugust 17 2011, 04:56:23 UTC
"Kup! Hey!"
"Pardon me, Kup, but I was wondering if you could settle a dispute..."
Kup held back a sigh and turned. "Powerglide. Tracks." He waited while they caught up to him. "Lemme guess. You two are havin' some berth trouble and you heard I was the mech to talk to."
"No!"
"Not with each other!"
The protests came out at the same time; Powerglide and Tracks startled and glared at each other briefly. "You know we're both... dating outside our species," Tracks began delicately.
Kup waved a hand. "That don't bother me none."
"Well, it shouldn't," Powerglide huffed. "Anyway, all our berthplay with our human partners so far has been contact overloads-"
"-Orgasms."
"Whatever. And that's nice and all, but we were hoping there'd be more options..."
Tracks picked up the thread where Powerglide trailed off. "Powerglide wants to try something penetrative. I think it's a bad idea. Your thoughts?"
"Well, lessee..." Kup stroked his chin in a show of thoughtfulness. "Have you talked to your partners about this?"
Tracks had the grace to look guilty; Powerglide just looked baffled. "Well..." Tracks allowed, "no, but..."
"Then why the slag you askin' me?" Kup flung his arms up, less than gratified when both mechs flinched. "Sure, it's possible, but you're wastin' time if they ain't into it."
Tracks drooped visibly. "Of course, you're right, Kup. My apologies."
"But... it is possible?" Powerglide persisted cautiously.
Kup allowed himself a smirk. "Mech, have you seen the sheer volume of stuff they make just for the purpose of shovin' up themselves?" Tracks groaned and flung up his arms, turning away from them both as Powerglide laughed. "You think that's bad?" Kup crowed at Tracks' retreating back. "Just be grateful your boyfriend don't have tentacles!"
Re: 2. Age equals experience - Kup knows more about interfacing than the whole Autobot army put togeraisedbymooglesAugust 17 2011, 04:56:42 UTC
Medbay again, only this time Kup was on the other end of the medic-patient continuum, weilding paint and buffer in the name of letting First Aid get some slagging rest.
"Arcee," Springer explained the scuff mark on his helm, over the noise of Kup's buffer erasing it.
"Yeah? How'd you piss her off this time?"
"I've been trying to figure that out myself. The 'facing was great last night, she seemed to be into it..." Springer shrugged helplessly. "But today she smacks me and leaves."
"Huh." Kup thought, the buffer turning slow circles on Springer's helm. Arcee had a temper, but she wasn't indiscriminately violent, especially not with those she cared for. "Why dontcha walk me through what happened," Kup offered.
Springer frowned. "Well, we had some foreplay... watched a little porn..."
"Uh huh."
"She asked for a spanking so I had her over my knee, and she bit me while I spanked her... she seemed to like that."
"Sure."
"Then... let's see." Springer counted on his fingers. "Verbal humiliation, denied her overload, some begging, I plugged in and held her down..." A goofy grin spread across his face. "We got off so slagging hard."
"Well, of course. And then?"
"Well, after that my shift was about to start, so I left."
"I see." Kup put down the buffer. Then he smacked Springer over the helm.
"Ow! Hey! I don't need a scuff on the other side too!"
"Then use your slaggin' processor," Kup snapped. "You don't just leave afterwards! Especially not after the rough stuff! You want her to think she's just a warm body to you?"
Springer jerked back, optics wide. "No! Never! Of course not!"
"Then slagging well stay and cuddle for a bit. Even if it makes you late for your shift."
Springer blinked slowly. " 'Sorry I'm late for my shift, Ultra Magnus,' " he deadpanned. " 'I was cuddling.' "
"There ya go." Kup patted him on the shoulder. "Go on, now. You got some apology cuddles to see to."
"Uh..." Springer pointed at the Kup-induced scuffmark. "Can I get this buffed out first?"
Kup puffed out his chest and channeled Ratchet to the best of his ability. "Get outta my medbay!"
Re: 2. Age equals experience - Kup knows more about interfacing than the whole Autobot army put togeraisedbymooglesAugust 17 2011, 04:57:02 UTC
"It's disturbing is what it is," Kup grumped to Ultra Magnus over a late-night cube of high grade. "None of 'em seem to know a thing about 'facing. Not a mech among 'em."
Magnus, who was technically on shift, tilted his half-full cube of nutrition-grade energon in his hand. "It's not that complicated. Point and click, as the humans say."
Kup barked a laugh. "That ain't what I mean. I mean the important stuff. How to do it all safely and how to treat your partner right."
Magnus shrugged. "We've been at war, Kup. Most of the Autobots still alive have known nothing but war for almost the entirety of their functions. They haven't had time to learn more than the basic mechanics of interface."
"Slaggin' shame." Kup tossed back the rest of his cube. "And I ain't got the time or the energy to educate all of 'em."
"Maybe you could contribute regularly to the weekly news download. We could call it 'Kup's Intimacy Education Sectional." Kup gave him a glare and Magnus smirked into his cube.
"Don't tempt me, mech," Kup let a growl enter his voice. "I might use you for illustrative examples."
"I? But I've never interfaced in my life." All innocent unconcern, Magnus tilted his head back and took another swallow of energon, allowing a drop of it to bead on his lip.
"Then it's high time someone gave you your education." Kup vacated his chair and pounced, sucking fiercely at Magnus's mouth as he claimed the broad lap. Magnus chuckled richly and placed large, steadying hands on the older mech's hips.
Re: 2. Age equals experience - Kup knows more about interfacing than the whole Autobot army put togeraisedbymooglesAugust 17 2011, 04:57:22 UTC
"Lad? You better be in there, I've looked everywhere else." Kup rapped at the office door again, and tried not to be disturbed that when one wanted to find Rodimus Prime, the last place one looked was his office. That's just how Roddy is. "Come on, lad," Kup groaned, "I been on my pedes all day and I don't wanna chase all around the city again. Where are you?"
//Security Director Kup?//
Kup snapped upright at the tentative transmission. "Report, Metroplex," he ordered, already booting up combat and city-defense subroutines. Metroplex followed a strict code of non-interference with those who dwelled within him; he initiated contact only in an emergency.
//It's... it's Rodimus Prime.// Metroplex sounded - not panicked, exactly, but definitely perplexed and worried. //He's in no physical danger as of now, but he seems to be in some distress.//
"Where is he?" Kup demanded, and Metroplex gave him the location. Forgetting his weariness, Kup broke into a dead run.
Metroplex's location-ping led Kup to a storage room on the lowest level. It was easy to see which room was the one in question: it was the only one whose door control glowed red in indication that it was security locked. Kup transmitted his own entry code; the control buzzed and remained locked. " 'Plex, open this door!" Kup demanded, and transmitted the highest-level code he had access to.
//Acknowledged.// The door slid open soundlessly; the overhead lights came on. Kup took three running steps inside and skidded to a halt. "Rodimus!"
Rodimus lifted his helm from the floor, relief warring with near-fatal levels of mortification in his optics. "Kup," he croaked, squirming helplessly. "I - this - I -"
"Shut up, lad," Kup told him kindly, kneeling to assess the situation. The Prime was tied, wrist to ankle, with rubber straps with slipknots in them - slipknots that had slid out of Rodimus's reach. The straps were too tight around his joints, cutting off vital flows. It was clear Rodimus had done this to himself, without anyone to help him; it was equally as clear that he'd done a poor job of it.
"Primus, these young mechs," Kup muttered. "Hold still."
He had to cut the straps, rather than fiddle with the knots; the instant they parted, energy flooded Rodimus's hands and pedes, triggering an overload from him. Rodimus cried out, and as his energy equalized he dissolved into harsh, rasping sobs. He curled away from Kup and huddled stiffly in humiliation; sensing he wouldn't be getting his Prime to his own berth to be cuddled properly, Kup lay down right there on the storage room floor and wrapped his arms around Rodimus.
He made up his mind then to try to be less grouchy with the people who came to him with their questions. It was always the ones who wouldn't ask for help that scared him the most.
Re: 2. Age equals experience - Kup knows more about interfacing than the whole Autobot army put togeminibot_loveAugust 17 2011, 05:33:18 UTC
*wibbles at that last line*
Damn. I wish Kup would've taught sex ed for me. Or that my school had HAD a sex ed course rather than the gym coach for a health teacher who mumbled a review on reproduction and told us to read the chapter on our own time. 9_9
Re: 2. Age equals experience - Kup knows more about interfacing than the whole Autobot army put togemimi_sardiniaAugust 19 2011, 05:59:23 UTC
I had a banana-shaped sex toy in my class. It hid a more penis-shaped section under a removable banana-shaped cap, and could be filled with water that could squirt.
I was a bit to embarrassed at the time but these days I look back and think that was a damn good educational aid.
Re: 2. Age equals experience - Kup knows more about interfacing than the whole Autobot army put togegogglehead84August 19 2011, 19:06:12 UTC
Yeah true, but when I had it, it was back in '97. So might be different now. Not sure what years your sex ed was. But I hope they allow more things to be learned then condom on banana now.
"Pardon me, Kup, but I was wondering if you could settle a dispute..."
Kup held back a sigh and turned. "Powerglide. Tracks." He waited while they caught up to him. "Lemme guess. You two are havin' some berth trouble and you heard I was the mech to talk to."
"No!"
"Not with each other!"
The protests came out at the same time; Powerglide and Tracks startled and glared at each other briefly. "You know we're both... dating outside our species," Tracks began delicately.
Kup waved a hand. "That don't bother me none."
"Well, it shouldn't," Powerglide huffed. "Anyway, all our berthplay with our human partners so far has been contact overloads-"
"-Orgasms."
"Whatever. And that's nice and all, but we were hoping there'd be more options..."
Tracks picked up the thread where Powerglide trailed off. "Powerglide wants to try something penetrative. I think it's a bad idea. Your thoughts?"
"Well, lessee..." Kup stroked his chin in a show of thoughtfulness. "Have you talked to your partners about this?"
Tracks had the grace to look guilty; Powerglide just looked baffled. "Well..." Tracks allowed, "no, but..."
"Then why the slag you askin' me?" Kup flung his arms up, less than gratified when both mechs flinched. "Sure, it's possible, but you're wastin' time if they ain't into it."
Tracks drooped visibly. "Of course, you're right, Kup. My apologies."
"But... it is possible?" Powerglide persisted cautiously.
Kup allowed himself a smirk. "Mech, have you seen the sheer volume of stuff they make just for the purpose of shovin' up themselves?" Tracks groaned and flung up his arms, turning away from them both as Powerglide laughed. "You think that's bad?" Kup crowed at Tracks' retreating back. "Just be grateful your boyfriend don't have tentacles!"
***
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"Arcee," Springer explained the scuff mark on his helm, over the noise of Kup's buffer erasing it.
"Yeah? How'd you piss her off this time?"
"I've been trying to figure that out myself. The 'facing was great last night, she seemed to be into it..." Springer shrugged helplessly. "But today she smacks me and leaves."
"Huh." Kup thought, the buffer turning slow circles on Springer's helm. Arcee had a temper, but she wasn't indiscriminately violent, especially not with those she cared for. "Why dontcha walk me through what happened," Kup offered.
Springer frowned. "Well, we had some foreplay... watched a little porn..."
"Uh huh."
"She asked for a spanking so I had her over my knee, and she bit me while I spanked her... she seemed to like that."
"Sure."
"Then... let's see." Springer counted on his fingers. "Verbal humiliation, denied her overload, some begging, I plugged in and held her down..." A goofy grin spread across his face. "We got off so slagging hard."
"Well, of course. And then?"
"Well, after that my shift was about to start, so I left."
"I see." Kup put down the buffer. Then he smacked Springer over the helm.
"Ow! Hey! I don't need a scuff on the other side too!"
"Then use your slaggin' processor," Kup snapped. "You don't just leave afterwards! Especially not after the rough stuff! You want her to think she's just a warm body to you?"
Springer jerked back, optics wide. "No! Never! Of course not!"
"Then slagging well stay and cuddle for a bit. Even if it makes you late for your shift."
Springer blinked slowly. " 'Sorry I'm late for my shift, Ultra Magnus,' " he deadpanned. " 'I was cuddling.' "
"There ya go." Kup patted him on the shoulder. "Go on, now. You got some apology cuddles to see to."
"Uh..." Springer pointed at the Kup-induced scuffmark. "Can I get this buffed out first?"
Kup puffed out his chest and channeled Ratchet to the best of his ability. "Get outta my medbay!"
***
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Magnus, who was technically on shift, tilted his half-full cube of nutrition-grade energon in his hand. "It's not that complicated. Point and click, as the humans say."
Kup barked a laugh. "That ain't what I mean. I mean the important stuff. How to do it all safely and how to treat your partner right."
Magnus shrugged. "We've been at war, Kup. Most of the Autobots still alive have known nothing but war for almost the entirety of their functions. They haven't had time to learn more than the basic mechanics of interface."
"Slaggin' shame." Kup tossed back the rest of his cube. "And I ain't got the time or the energy to educate all of 'em."
"Maybe you could contribute regularly to the weekly news download. We could call it 'Kup's Intimacy Education Sectional." Kup gave him a glare and Magnus smirked into his cube.
"Don't tempt me, mech," Kup let a growl enter his voice. "I might use you for illustrative examples."
"I? But I've never interfaced in my life." All innocent unconcern, Magnus tilted his head back and took another swallow of energon, allowing a drop of it to bead on his lip.
"Then it's high time someone gave you your education." Kup vacated his chair and pounced, sucking fiercely at Magnus's mouth as he claimed the broad lap. Magnus chuckled richly and placed large, steadying hands on the older mech's hips.
***
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//Security Director Kup?//
Kup snapped upright at the tentative transmission. "Report, Metroplex," he ordered, already booting up combat and city-defense subroutines. Metroplex followed a strict code of non-interference with those who dwelled within him; he initiated contact only in an emergency.
//It's... it's Rodimus Prime.// Metroplex sounded - not panicked, exactly, but definitely perplexed and worried. //He's in no physical danger as of now, but he seems to be in some distress.//
"Where is he?" Kup demanded, and Metroplex gave him the location. Forgetting his weariness, Kup broke into a dead run.
Metroplex's location-ping led Kup to a storage room on the lowest level. It was easy to see which room was the one in question: it was the only one whose door control glowed red in indication that it was security locked. Kup transmitted his own entry code; the control buzzed and remained locked. " 'Plex, open this door!" Kup demanded, and transmitted the highest-level code he had access to.
//Acknowledged.// The door slid open soundlessly; the overhead lights came on. Kup took three running steps inside and skidded to a halt. "Rodimus!"
Rodimus lifted his helm from the floor, relief warring with near-fatal levels of mortification in his optics. "Kup," he croaked, squirming helplessly. "I - this - I -"
"Shut up, lad," Kup told him kindly, kneeling to assess the situation. The Prime was tied, wrist to ankle, with rubber straps with slipknots in them - slipknots that had slid out of Rodimus's reach. The straps were too tight around his joints, cutting off vital flows. It was clear Rodimus had done this to himself, without anyone to help him; it was equally as clear that he'd done a poor job of it.
"Primus, these young mechs," Kup muttered. "Hold still."
He had to cut the straps, rather than fiddle with the knots; the instant they parted, energy flooded Rodimus's hands and pedes, triggering an overload from him. Rodimus cried out, and as his energy equalized he dissolved into harsh, rasping sobs. He curled away from Kup and huddled stiffly in humiliation; sensing he wouldn't be getting his Prime to his own berth to be cuddled properly, Kup lay down right there on the storage room floor and wrapped his arms around Rodimus.
He made up his mind then to try to be less grouchy with the people who came to him with their questions. It was always the ones who wouldn't ask for help that scared him the most.
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Damn. I wish Kup would've taught sex ed for me. Or that my school had HAD a sex ed course rather than the gym coach for a health teacher who mumbled a review on reproduction and told us to read the chapter on our own time. 9_9
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Sex ed teacher Kup is something every kid should have!
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And of course, not a word about consent and respect thereof.
Though I didn't have the worst of it---that honor went to the classmate whose mother was teaching the class.
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I was a bit to embarrassed at the time but these days I look back and think that was a damn good educational aid.
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