(no subject)
I'm considering moving back home at some point. To give a Coles Notes summary, there's some stuff going on with my dad over the next year that I feel kind of guilty that I'm not here for (I don't want to get into it on the Internet), plus I'm going to be an aunt in May and my cousin is having a baby in June. So these things are all weighing heavily on me and I feel bad that I'm not here for them.
I also applied for school, one of the programs being a distance program and I had mentioned to mom that the distance one would allow me to move home if the circumstances were right. She took that to mean that I would be 100% moving home next year. She was quite upset when I wasn't in agreement when it came up in conversation since I've been home.
I miss my family, don't get me wrong on that. But it seems like whenever I'm home for a visit, that after a week or so of being here, I'm sick of my family and want to go back to Ontario, which makes me feel awful that I would think that about my family.
My mom and my nan (mom's mom) are extremely selfish people, and like to do things for other people under the guise of being nice but they do it so everyone will think they're nice which totally defeats the purpose. For example: mom likes to give presents to children in person so that they have to acknowledge that the present came from her and thank her for it in person right then and there. Anyways, mom is giving me a lot of grief for not agreeing to be living here in time for dad's 60th birthday in March, and the same for the birth of my niece/nephew. My nan is giving me a lot of grief because their 60th wedding anniversary is in September and I need to be here for it.
I'm not the only person to be living away from their family and missing out on things, so why does it have to be such a big deal when I'm not here for it?
And then I've been helping out mom around the house whenever I can but she keeps getting upset and redoing everything because apparently I'm not doing it right and then complains about how she has no help around the house. And then when I call her out on it she says not to worry because as a 58 year old diabetic she'll be dead soon and then she won't be such a burden anymore.
I'm just frustrated and when I come home and have to deal with mom it just makes me not want to be here at all. I mean lots of people (including some of you) have moved away and their parents don't give them grief. Mom keeps pointing out that me moving to Ontario in the first place was a mistake and I don't belong there and basically makes me feel like every life choice I've ever made as the wrong one, which really makes me feel quite terrible about myself. Do any of your parents give you grief about moving away, and if so, how do you deal with it? Because I'm sick and tired of feeling guilty about being away. If I decide to move home I want it to be because I genuinely want to, not because I'm guilted into it.