Till Death Do We Part?

[red_tiger01]

Hey I'm new to the community and I just wanted to post my first Teyla/Michael fanfiction. Hope you like it.

Till Death Do We Part?
Summary: AU story. Michael has an unwanted presence in his head which will either drive him into insanity or gain him a soul. (Set around Kindred. This is my way of exampling why he’s been acting insane in the recent

Comments

fic

[anonymous]

i love this. you have to continue

:)

AW

XX

Re: fic

[red_tiger01]

Thanks. And I'm already working on the next chapter, so hopefully I’ll be able to update soon :)

[gospikey]

Small corrections first:

Fine go ahead and pretend I’m not here, it wont do any good though.

How about a comma or an exclamation mark right after the 'Fine', and 'wont' = 'won't' of course. :-)

“Shut up.” Michael practically growled.
‘Someone’s getting a bit cranky I see.’

Hmm, it didn't take the space you put there, but I did see there was one when I c&p'd it in here... Silly LJ.

You’ll have to kill yourself first; and because that probably wont be happening soon

'won't', again.

“Good now it will just be a matter of time before

An extra comma behind 'good'? :P

Everything was happening just as planed, and soon

'planned' with a double -n? Hmm.

obsessed with her, you know just a little bit.you know, then another comma? :-P

[red_tiger01]

I guess I didn't notice those small mistakes earlier. Oops!

I’m glad to see that you liked it.
And Teyla will be in the next chapter.

[gospikey]

Okay! Thank you for writing this! I'm looking forward to it very much!

Spikey

[gospikey]

Don’t tell me you’re ignoring me….Fine, go ahead and pretend I’m not here,

-> There's a big fat dot in between 'me' and 'Fine' that doesn't belong there? :P

“Damn, human,”

-> The comma between 'Damn' and 'human' shouldn't be there, maybe?

Still looking great!

Spikey