One-Man Tax Day Tea Party, Chicago El Brown Line Edition
Excerpted from an overheard 10-minute phone-conversation rant on the Kimball northbound, 1:50 p.m., Wednesday, April 15:
"Fuck taxes! If they're late, so what, they can go ahead and charge me an extra 5% a month or whatever, I don't give a shit. Take my taxes, man. Put another monkey on a ship, let's see what Venus looks like.
Fuck the winter, fuck the bus pass. I'm going back to Puerto Rico. Give my job to a Mexican - that's the trend, right? - and I'm leaving. Go hate somebody else.
Man is supposed to be one with nature. Here, it's like living in a box, like in a Lego.
There's better fried chicken in Puerto Rico! The only thing they do better here is pizza. I've been here for forty years. I've had enough. Forty years of pizza.
You know there's a 35-cent tax on cigars? So in the hoods, they buy blunts, like three times a day, so that's, what, an added dollar every day or something. But those yuppies, they like their $30 cigars, and they only buy 'em like twice a week, so who gets fucked? It's all designed to rape you, man. I hear they wanna tax soda. You know what? Rich people drink water. You know who drinks soda? Poor motherfuckers."
"Fuck taxes! If they're late, so what, they can go ahead and charge me an extra 5% a month or whatever, I don't give a shit. Take my taxes, man. Put another monkey on a ship, let's see what Venus looks like.
Fuck the winter, fuck the bus pass. I'm going back to Puerto Rico. Give my job to a Mexican - that's the trend, right? - and I'm leaving. Go hate somebody else.
Man is supposed to be one with nature. Here, it's like living in a box, like in a Lego.
There's better fried chicken in Puerto Rico! The only thing they do better here is pizza. I've been here for forty years. I've had enough. Forty years of pizza.
You know there's a 35-cent tax on cigars? So in the hoods, they buy blunts, like three times a day, so that's, what, an added dollar every day or something. But those yuppies, they like their $30 cigars, and they only buy 'em like twice a week, so who gets fucked? It's all designed to rape you, man. I hear they wanna tax soda. You know what? Rich people drink water. You know who drinks soda? Poor motherfuckers."