Like a pregnancy that lasts a year and a half
So, good news today! The adoption agency has our application, and has assigned us a counselor. Intake interview will be scheduled soon. Assuming that goes through well, then we start the home study process.
This is, however, still the very early beginning of this process, so I figured I may as well lay out a timeline of how this whole thing works, so folks unfamiliar with adoption (or adoptions of this kind) can get an idea of what's likely to happen when. The short answer: we're probably still at least 12-18 months out from having a kid in the house.
Here's the whole process, step-by-step (x's next to the stuff we've completed.)
Phase 1: Early prep (Most of last year)
x-Saving up ridiculous sums of money for the adoption fees
x-Researching agencies and finding one that works for us
x-Starting to get the house, finances and other paperwork in order
Phase 2: Qualification (January - March-ish of this year)
x-Pre-adoption seminar
"So, you do realize that this isn't going to the grocery store and picking up a six-pack of baby, right?"
x-Application packet paperwork
Background check, family profile details, financials, health screening, etc. The basics of making sure we're not serial killers, car thieves, bank executives or anything else unfit for raising a kid.
-Intake interview
Ensuring that we're ready to adopt, and that the agency is a good fit for us, and what kind of birthmom we think might think we're awesome.
-Home study part 1
In-home interviews w/ a social worker to assess home safety, family dynamics, etc., plus more paperwork. This is also when we'd need rec letters from people who think we'd be awesome parents. "Hey, you have an awesome relationship and and awesome house, and your friends think you're pretty awesome, too!"
-Individual interviews
Getting a picture of who we are as individual people, with individual flavors of awesome.
-Home study part 2
Addressing anything still left over from part 1--safety issues that needed to be corrected, etc.
-Marketing packet prep and pool entry
The "Hi, we're awesome potential parents! Please pick us!" resume and beauty pageant.
Phase 2.5: The Wait (April - ? Probably next spring)
-Months upon months of sitting around waiting for a birthmom to consider us awesome enough to raise her kid.
We could luck out and find our twoo birthmom love right away, but what with all our various weirdnesses--the queer thing, the atheist thing, the geek thing, the not-supermodel thing--we're likely to be waiting quite a while.
Phase 3: Courtship (Next April-ish - ?)
-Birthmom thinks we're awesome, and wants to meet us.
-Meeting 1
-Thinking-about-it period
-Meeting 2 (should that go well; if not: rinse and repeat)
-Yep, you're definitely awesome! Here, let's all sign an agreement!
-*Cue Jeopardy theme while we wait for the birth*
Phase 4: Commitment (Up to 2 years from now)
-"Ohai, baby!"
-"So, birthmom, you still think we're awesome and we can haz bebe?"
-"Yes, you're awesome, and you can haz! Here's a squirmy little poop machine for you to love forevah!"
-Judge: "Yes, I do decree that you have demonstrated awesomeness, and the state now says the poop machine is all yours! Congratulations on never having a full night's sleep again!"
And somewhere in there, we also give the adoption agency the last of our money that hasn't already been handed over to them in Checks of Unusual Size.
So, yeah. Getting initially qualified is the hard/scary part, and that's why it's exciting to get over those hurdles. But then it's just endlessly waiting around. So once we're in the pool, we're unlikely to be sending out new baby announcements for quite a while.
This is, however, still the very early beginning of this process, so I figured I may as well lay out a timeline of how this whole thing works, so folks unfamiliar with adoption (or adoptions of this kind) can get an idea of what's likely to happen when. The short answer: we're probably still at least 12-18 months out from having a kid in the house.
Here's the whole process, step-by-step (x's next to the stuff we've completed.)
Phase 1: Early prep (Most of last year)
x-Saving up ridiculous sums of money for the adoption fees
x-Researching agencies and finding one that works for us
x-Starting to get the house, finances and other paperwork in order
Phase 2: Qualification (January - March-ish of this year)
x-Pre-adoption seminar
"So, you do realize that this isn't going to the grocery store and picking up a six-pack of baby, right?"
x-Application packet paperwork
Background check, family profile details, financials, health screening, etc. The basics of making sure we're not serial killers, car thieves, bank executives or anything else unfit for raising a kid.
-Intake interview
Ensuring that we're ready to adopt, and that the agency is a good fit for us, and what kind of birthmom we think might think we're awesome.
-Home study part 1
In-home interviews w/ a social worker to assess home safety, family dynamics, etc., plus more paperwork. This is also when we'd need rec letters from people who think we'd be awesome parents. "Hey, you have an awesome relationship and and awesome house, and your friends think you're pretty awesome, too!"
-Individual interviews
Getting a picture of who we are as individual people, with individual flavors of awesome.
-Home study part 2
Addressing anything still left over from part 1--safety issues that needed to be corrected, etc.
-Marketing packet prep and pool entry
The "Hi, we're awesome potential parents! Please pick us!" resume and beauty pageant.
Phase 2.5: The Wait (April - ? Probably next spring)
-Months upon months of sitting around waiting for a birthmom to consider us awesome enough to raise her kid.
We could luck out and find our twoo birthmom love right away, but what with all our various weirdnesses--the queer thing, the atheist thing, the geek thing, the not-supermodel thing--we're likely to be waiting quite a while.
Phase 3: Courtship (Next April-ish - ?)
-Birthmom thinks we're awesome, and wants to meet us.
-Meeting 1
-Thinking-about-it period
-Meeting 2 (should that go well; if not: rinse and repeat)
-Yep, you're definitely awesome! Here, let's all sign an agreement!
-*Cue Jeopardy theme while we wait for the birth*
Phase 4: Commitment (Up to 2 years from now)
-"Ohai, baby!"
-"So, birthmom, you still think we're awesome and we can haz bebe?"
-"Yes, you're awesome, and you can haz! Here's a squirmy little poop machine for you to love forevah!"
-Judge: "Yes, I do decree that you have demonstrated awesomeness, and the state now says the poop machine is all yours! Congratulations on never having a full night's sleep again!"
And somewhere in there, we also give the adoption agency the last of our money that hasn't already been handed over to them in Checks of Unusual Size.
So, yeah. Getting initially qualified is the hard/scary part, and that's why it's exciting to get over those hurdles. But then it's just endlessly waiting around. So once we're in the pool, we're unlikely to be sending out new baby announcements for quite a while.