Secrets Post Forty One
Submissions Post Forty One is now closed.
Potentially triggering secrets under the cut.
Submissions Post Forty Two will open shortly.
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One.
That's just brilliant. I had to tell her that I love her. It was eating me from the inside out. And I knew she'd reject me right away. I thought, "Might as well get it over with." But that's just it! "I don't know." What am I supposed to do with that? I will be unable to SLEEP until you tell me; yes or no. Just reject me and get it behind us!
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Two.
I wish I could tell you that I think you're a gorgeous person, inside and out. You've never outright said it, but I know you're kind of down on yourself for being single. Believe me, if the situation were different, I'd be first in line to try for your heart. You're immensely intelligent and incredibly successful for your young age. You still have time, and I'm sure the right guy is out there waiting for you. The others have just been idiots not to see what they've had. Chin up, okay?
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Three.
Now that I'm here, I'm afraid to leave again. What if I go back and my world becomes boring?
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Four.
I find reading eating disorder communities absolutely fascinating. I can't let anyone catch me at it though, or they'll think I've got one.
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Five.
Sometimes I wonder if our political differences will be the end of us. You've become so extreme in your views. I can't even talk to you about it anymore.
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Six.
thursday when we touched hands [our fingers laced and it was slow pulling apart] goodbye, did you feel it too? [i think you did.]
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Seven.
I would like to find a real partner but just contemplating going looking for one feels like cheating on the imaginary husband I created when I had had enough of dating boring guys.
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Eight.
I am a disabled intersex man and I am considering suicide.
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Nine.
My confession? I enjoy playing, I really do.
But, one of the reasons why I'm still playing is so that I can spend time with you--even if it's virtual.
Because here's the real news flash: You may be my best friend but I really dislike both your husband and your kids.
No, I don't feel guilty. I just wish I could talk to you about this and the reasons why--for every thing.
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Ten.
My mother remarried a terrible man last year, who has done nothing but cheat on her & tell her lies. She knows all this. She knows my brothers hate him. She knows I despise him. I can't do anything to convince her she is better than him. So I give up. I feel like I've failed her as a daughter.
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Eleven.
Having someone into me sexually [as much as i'm into them] is a completely new [and terrifying] experience [but i'm willing].
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Twelve.
I masturbate too much
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Thirteen.
I'm thinking about calling my EAP to get help for depression, but I'm too scared to have to make the 30+ minute drive and try to find the place and find parking--much less pay for parking ... and it just seems too hard.
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Fourteen.
It is so upsetting that I can't lean on my boyfriend for support. He's too depressed to hold himself up, so how can he hold me up, too?
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Fifteen.
I'm broken and there's nobody to fix me because nobody sees it.
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Sixteen.
When you asked me if I loved you, I said I didn't know. I also told you why: I didn't want to say it back unless I truly meant it.
I lied.
The reason I couldn't (can't) say it back is because I don't love myself. And if I don't love myself for who I am, then how can I possibly love you?
I hate myself for doing this to you. You deserve someone better than me; someone who is comfortable in her own skin and loves herself for who she is. She, unlike me, will be able fully love you.
I'm sorry; I'm sorry; I'm so, so sorry.
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